No, not really. It's really only me and my kids. I just feel really fragile lately.
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Hi all, first time posting here but can I have a rant please?
I'm really wondering why I bother communicating with my dad... We've never been really close, but the past few years we have definitely drifted more and more distant.
He's far more interested in ranting about anything and everything from politics, to bad parking in the local area, to pointing out petty grammar in anything, to Israel/Palestine etc etc. Basically it's impossible to have a normal friendly conversation without some sort of rant coming out of it. Pure negativity.
But this feeling has really bubbled over tonight. I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me. It's the first baby in my family since I was born (and I'm almost 32!) and his first grandchild. So I expected some enthusiasm...
I sent him an update on how it's all going etc and sent the scan photo of baby.... And all he responded with was a thumbs up emoji....
No message, no congrats, no excited questions of when am I due, how do I feel, will we find out the gender etc etc.
It's just made me wonder why I bother...
I'm really wondering why I bother communicating with my dad... We've never been really close, but the past few years we have definitely drifted more and more distant.
He's far more interested in ranting about anything and everything from politics, to bad parking in the local area, to pointing out petty grammar in anything, to Israel/Palestine etc etc. Basically it's impossible to have a normal friendly conversation without some sort of rant coming out of it. Pure negativity.
But this feeling has really bubbled over tonight. I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me. It's the first baby in my family since I was born (and I'm almost 32!) and his first grandchild. So I expected some enthusiasm...
I sent him an update on how it's all going etc and sent the scan photo of baby.... And all he responded with was a thumbs up emoji....
No message, no congrats, no excited questions of when am I due, how do I feel, will we find out the gender etc etc.
It's just made me wonder why I bother...
My dad is the same and it's draining especially when his rants are aimed at me. I no longer speak to him.Hi all, first time posting here but can I have a rant please?
I'm really wondering why I bother communicating with my dad... We've never been really close, but the past few years we have definitely drifted more and more distant.
He's far more interested in ranting about anything and everything from politics, to bad parking in the local area, to pointing out petty grammar in anything, to Israel/Palestine etc etc. Basically it's impossible to have a normal friendly conversation without some sort of rant coming out of it. Pure negativity.
But this feeling has really bubbled over tonight. I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me. It's the first baby in my family since I was born (and I'm almost 32!) and his first grandchild. So I expected some enthusiasm...
I sent him an update on how it's all going etc and sent the scan photo of baby.... And all he responded with was a thumbs up emoji....
No message, no congrats, no excited questions of when am I due, how do I feel, will we find out the gender etc etc.
It's just made me wonder why I bother...
really need to get words out...
i’m feeling exceptionally lonely. i feel guilty for feeling this was because i have the best family and the most loving boyfriend but i have no real friends.
i have one best friend but she’s at university three hours or so away and i have two girl friends at home tht only speak to me if i talk to them and i’ve been out once since restrictions have been lifted and it was only because i organised it that it happened. i can’t help but feel like i’m wasting my life doing nothing and it’s so tit seeing people out drinking with their friends.
i’ve asked my “friends” how they are, like genuinely but neither of them want to open up to me, they’re just like “yeah fine” and when i ask to do things, they just seem like they can’t be arsed and make up any excuse to not go out.
it’s genuinely upsetting me, i just want someone to be spontaneous with and enjoy life. i do these things with my boyfriend sometimes but he has friends of his own and it would be nice to have a girls company every once in a while... any advice?
i’m feeling exceptionally lonely. i feel guilty for feeling this was because i have the best family and the most loving boyfriend but i have no real friends.
i have one best friend but she’s at university three hours or so away and i have two girl friends at home tht only speak to me if i talk to them and i’ve been out once since restrictions have been lifted and it was only because i organised it that it happened. i can’t help but feel like i’m wasting my life doing nothing and it’s so tit seeing people out drinking with their friends.
i’ve asked my “friends” how they are, like genuinely but neither of them want to open up to me, they’re just like “yeah fine” and when i ask to do things, they just seem like they can’t be arsed and make up any excuse to not go out.
it’s genuinely upsetting me, i just want someone to be spontaneous with and enjoy life. i do these things with my boyfriend sometimes but he has friends of his own and it would be nice to have a girls company every once in a while... any advice?
Yesterday was the birthday of a friend of mine, it was also the anniversary of her death.
A few years ago, she went out with her partner to have birthday drinks, he decided to drive home drunk afterwards.
They got home in the early morning and she was guiding his car into a parking space. From what I gather, she slipped over drunk and he ended up reversing over her head. The autopsy believed that he actually ended up driving forwards and hitting her again before finally reversing and resting the car on top of her.
He then went inside pissed as a fart and went to sleep, her body was discovered a few hours later. The police were called and because her partner was so drunk and out of it, didn't wake up until the morning afterwards. He was arrested and found to be still 2.5 hours over the limit and this is a good 6-8 hours after it happened. As far as I'm aware he was never prosecuted for the death due to a lack of evidence although he did admit to driving home drunk.
Part of me wants to go around to her old house and remove the bastards teeth with a claw hammer - but I don't even know if he still lives there. It just pisses me off that she never got the justice she deserved and I do miss talking to her on FB. Just general chat about her day and what she was up to and how she was trying to get a new job. It's just the general mundane things which you miss the most.
We were very briefly together when I was 18 and she was 21 at the time - it never really developed much further but we remained friends. You don't have to reply to this, I'm just venting into the abyss of the internet.
A few years ago, she went out with her partner to have birthday drinks, he decided to drive home drunk afterwards.
They got home in the early morning and she was guiding his car into a parking space. From what I gather, she slipped over drunk and he ended up reversing over her head. The autopsy believed that he actually ended up driving forwards and hitting her again before finally reversing and resting the car on top of her.
He then went inside pissed as a fart and went to sleep, her body was discovered a few hours later. The police were called and because her partner was so drunk and out of it, didn't wake up until the morning afterwards. He was arrested and found to be still 2.5 hours over the limit and this is a good 6-8 hours after it happened. As far as I'm aware he was never prosecuted for the death due to a lack of evidence although he did admit to driving home drunk.
Part of me wants to go around to her old house and remove the bastards teeth with a claw hammer - but I don't even know if he still lives there. It just pisses me off that she never got the justice she deserved and I do miss talking to her on FB. Just general chat about her day and what she was up to and how she was trying to get a new job. It's just the general mundane things which you miss the most.
We were very briefly together when I was 18 and she was 21 at the time - it never really developed much further but we remained friends. You don't have to reply to this, I'm just venting into the abyss of the internet.
Sending virtual hugs for a horrific time xx
Life is just piling up at the moment, financial issues, family issues, life issues and grief on top. I now know how it feels when people say “just trying to keep my head above water” because I really am right now. Feel like every day I get another text or email to say “you owe us this” or “your bill has doubled as you didn’t pay last month” and we are so behind m due to 2 absolutely ridiculous bills we weren’t expecting to have that have just knocked us for six. It feels like we may never recover from it on the money we’re on now. My partner and I are just not on the same wavelength at all at the moment which has really been hard to deal with as we’re in the house all day together.
The only good things in life are my beautiful kids, I just hope I’m not bleeping all this up for them both because they deserve more than the world. God sake. Feel so utterly helpless at the moment even though I know things will get better in time. Need to have a big cry.
The only good things in life are my beautiful kids, I just hope I’m not bleeping all this up for them both because they deserve more than the world. God sake. Feel so utterly helpless at the moment even though I know things will get better in time. Need to have a big cry.
Have you checked the debt pages at citizens advice? (Link here) I would start there. Back in the day I knew of a couple who were in massive debt (more debt than their yearly wage) and they spoke to a debt charity - I think it's been renamed as StepChange (Link to site) - anyway the upshot is that the charity helped them speak to the creditors and they came up with a payment plan with all interest frozen at 0%.
Also if you have a good relationship with your family, now's the time to be honest with them and ask for help. Perhaps not money but help with keeping the children supported.
Thank you for the advice! I haven’t spoken to them but everything is semi (very semi) under control so I feel like I would be wasting their time. We have been living on probably below 80% income this year as my partner works in a sector that hasn’t gone back to work yet and couldn’t WFH. Incredibly stressful. I know in my head everything will be settling in the next few months but it also feels like we’re going to have no money for the foreseeable
I am very lucky and fortunate to have the most amazing parents and family and they’ve done everything they can to keep us afloat just about and to ensure the kiddos don’t go without (not that they are anyway!) but thank you for your response I really appreciate it. Sometimes it feels like I regularly shout into the void so to know someone is listening is lovely. Today I’ve woken up with a much more positive outlook on it all and have spoken to various companies about changing billing dates or spreading payments out so hopefully it will all work itself out eventually. I’m definitely one for burying my head in the sand.
Today we found out our 12 year old Staffy will be getting put to sleep next week and I am broken. She’s had a couple of health issues over the last year that have slowly gotten worse and now she’s in pain. I know it’s her time but she’s my best friend and I just don’t know how I’ll cope. We lost our other dog just before Christmas and I was finally coming to terms with it and now this. I’m heartbroken.
It's so difficult. Be kind to yourself over the weekend and get lot's of cuddle time xx
He has to live with what he has done . Perhaps the guilt is more of a punishment than any prosecution.
I don’t know what to say but I’m really struggling with my husband right now, we have an 9 month old he won’t spend any time with and he’s just being vile to me today (ironically calling me vile repeatedly amongst other things) - my sisters all live up north. I had a good career pre baby earning decent money so would be fine financially but he keeps saying how he’s done so much for me / I do nothing for him/ I’m a kept woman / awful mother (I’m really not I spend all day playing on the floor with baby and she’s wel ahead on all her development goals cos I do the teaching activities I research when she’s gone to bed). I’ve always managed our money and done well with it and I’ve always paid half even though he earns over 4 x what I do (he earns a lot) so it just feels intimidating to even think about leaving him. I really just want to be left alone now
I want to go up north to stay with my sister for a bit but I’m scared he’ll do something to duck me over and I can’t bear the thought of not being with my daughter daily. He doesn’t know how to do anything for her like the most basic of tasks so I have to stay
I want to go up north to stay with my sister for a bit but I’m scared he’ll do something to duck me over and I can’t bear the thought of not being with my daughter daily. He doesn’t know how to do anything for her like the most basic of tasks so I have to stay
Can you even arrange a trip to see your sisters and take your baby with you? As you say he doesn't know how to do the basics with her so he'd really struggle and I know I wouldn't want to leave my baby with someone like that. I totally understand where you're coming from though, it must be so difficult
I feel like my husband and I have grown apart this last year. He has cut back on his drinking a lot, but I know he spends a lot of time thinking about and wanting alcohol. I think I have a lot of built up resentment over his drinking. He also has depression and it seems like he is just always down and never content with anything he has. He takes medication for it but won’t do anything else for it like exercise or counselling. I feel like we snipe at each other more often than not. My temper is shorter than usual as I am annoyed with him and also pregnant. It feels like he makes more effort with our older child and everyone else than he does with me. I just feel last all the time and I can’t get out of my own head. He doesn’t really say much when I try to bring it up.
I’m sorry my love especially whilst you’re pregnant. Have you heard of Alanon? It might be a useful resource for both of you?
Thank youCan you even arrange a trip to see your sisters and take your baby with you? As you say he doesn't know how to do the basics with her so he'd really struggle and I know I wouldn't want to leave my baby with someone like that. I totally understand where you're coming from though, it must be so difficult
He won’t let me go up to my sisters cos he’s going on holiday the week after so doesn’t want 2 weeks without seeing the baby (he spends a few hours with her a week, largely in front of the TV...). Just upsetting really, I’ve calmed down from earlier and realised it just is what it is. He came down for an hour today and baby wasn’t interested at all, she probably wonders who the duck he is.I couldn't just read this and not say anything, my heart goes out to you ( not making this about me, but I've very recently had bad news about my boy)
You spoil her with lots of cuddles and treats, and remember you're doing the best thing for her, it's tit though, take care
Thank you. I have heard of Alanon but never contacted them. I might do if the drinking picks up again. Seems he’s gone from 4-5 nights a week down to 1-2 but can still pack away a lotttt of whisky in an evening so definitely a binge drinking situation. I’m just really tired of it now. I understand that depression is a hideous disease but there just doesn’t seem to be any drive or motivation to improve it.. although perhaps that’s all part of the depression.
Thanks for taking the time to reply
You should join us over on the alcoholism thread, it’s mainly people who live with an alcoholic in their lives and can be a great place to see others are feeling the same way, and understand your worries and fears x
I’m really upset with my bf and he can’t see why. He wants to go and stay with his parents for one week every month once it’s Covid safe. Apparently he used to do this before we met and wants to start again. We live together and are both in our 30s and it really upsets me that he wants to spend so much time away from me. I understand that he hasn’t seen them much in the past year and wants to catch up but I think a week every month is far too long but he won’t budge. So frustrated!!!
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