Support for anyone that needs to vent

[apollo1]

Hi I’m new but badly need to vent so I hope it’s ok to dive straight in!
I work in a people facing role. I’ve had a rotten week in general but just tried to go the extra mile to help someone, only for them to leave me speechless with how rude they were to me, before hanging up on me!
To cap it off, I felt a bit unsupported by my workmates. Not that I wanted a group hug or anything! It’s just that it’s a stressful job and everyone needs to let off steam from time to time but when I do, it seems like no one is interested.
I’ve got a half day today so I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve come home and had a good cry.
Life in general seems just a bit crap at the moment. I wish I could stop being so easily upset by everything though.

 

[moosesauna]

Hi all, first time posting here but can I have a rant please?

I'm really wondering why I bother communicating with my dad... We've never been really close, but the past few years we have definitely drifted more and more distant.

He's far more interested in ranting about anything and everything from politics, to bad parking in the local area, to pointing out petty grammar in anything, to Israel/Palestine etc etc. Basically it's impossible to have a normal friendly conversation without some sort of rant coming out of it. Pure negativity.

But this feeling has really bubbled over tonight. I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me. It's the first baby in my family since I was born (and I'm almost 32!) and his first grandchild. So I expected some enthusiasm...

I sent him an update on how it's all going etc and sent the scan photo of baby.... And all he responded with was a thumbs up emoji....

No message, no congrats, no excited questions of when am I due, how do I feel, will we find out the gender etc etc.

It's just made me wonder why I bother...

Sometimes dads are just like that - I'm sure he's very proud of you and longs to show his support and love, but for dads it can be hard to know exactly how to do that. Guys of their age were raised to be pretty stoic/not show much outward emotion - doesn't mean he's not happy, it's just the way he does things (probably...) My dad's the same, and it can be really frustrating and upsetting at times when I'm in need of support, so I totally understand.

 

[Dogtanian]

I’m really upset with my bf and he can’t see why. He wants to go and stay with his parents for one week every month once it’s Covid safe. Apparently he used to do this before we met and wants to start again. We live together and are both in our 30s and it really upsets me that he wants to spend so much time away from me. I understand that he hasn’t seen them much in the past year and wants to catch up but I think a week every month is far too long but he won’t budge. So frustrated!!!

I tend to agree, it's a bit unusual to spend a week at a time with parents especially when he's in his 30's. What do his family think? Or yours?

 

[pbontoast]

I tend to agree, it's a bit unusual to spend a week at a time with parents especially when he's in his 30's. What do his family think? Or yours?

I’m not sure what his family think as I’m not close to them. I kind of get the feeling that they seem to think I’ve “stolen” him away, just based on comments they’ve said so I think they’re fine with him coming to stay. My family think it’s weird….

 

[Dogtanian]

I’m not sure what his family think as I’m not close to them. I kind of get the feeling that they seem to think I’ve “stolen” him away, just based on comments they’ve said so I think they’re fine with him coming to stay. My family think it’s weird….

I'm tempted to think ‘mummy issues’ but I don’t know. It’s sounds like he’s been molly coddled though from the stolen comment.
How far into the relationship are you?

 

[Dirtyhorseshoes]

Still really pissed off from last night. Drove to the supermarket with my husband (me driving) and stopped off for petrol on the way back. After filling up I went to the bank machine to withdraw some money and this neanderthal lorry driver came up to me and said 'it should be you sitting in the car staring at your phone not your husband. If he were a proper man he would be filling up the car for you'
I said its 2021 not 1921 I'm quite capable of filling up MY car thanks' He said 'Its not the point, a REAL man would have got out and done if for you' and then walked off

Talk about judgy. My husband might have got out and filled up the last five visits. He might be sitting in the car with a broken ankle or be a wheelchair user.
Sorry if this isn't the right place to moan about it
I hate the fact that when women kick off or stick their noses in where it's not wanted they are referred to as 'karens' yet we don't have the same for men so I'm going to refer to him and men like him as a 'Darren'

W@nker!!!


Sorry if I derailed and it's the wrong thread

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Still really pissed off from last night. Drove to the supermarket with my husband (me driving) and stopped off for petrol on the way back. After filling up I went to the bank machine to withdraw some money and this neanderthal lorry driver came up to me and said 'it should be you sitting in the car staring at your phone not your husband. If he were a proper man he would be filling up the car for you'
I said its 2021 not 1921 I'm quite capable of filling up MY car thanks' He said 'Its not the point, a REAL man would have got out and done if for you' and then walked off

Talk about judgy. My husband might have got out and filled up the last five visits. He might be sitting in the car with a broken ankle or be a wheelchair user.
Sorry if this isn't the right place to moan about it
I hate the fact that when women kick off or stick their noses in where it's not wanted they are referred to as 'karens' yet we don't have the same for men so I'm going to refer to him and men like him as a 'Darren'

W@nker!!!


Sorry if I derailed and it's the wrong thread

Oh my blood is boiling for you! If he was a real man he wouldn't be batching and gossiping ha x

 

[jarv]

I'm really struggling with my job. My workload isn't too high, the work I am doing isn't too intense but I feel awful at the moment. I deal with students who need extensions for their assessments, and as we're slap bang in our assessment period, it's just constant. So many of our students are struggling and because I am the point of contact they're offloading all their stress onto me and I get told things such as where they have made attempts on their life or they are deep in a mental health crisis and have no support. I can cope while I'm busy at work but I've cried multiple times when I've gotten home the last week or so and I can't really quantify why and now I'm crying at my desk.

I spoke to my bf about it last night but I think he's a bit fed up of me breaking down every couple of days and he said I need to talk to my manager. My manager has been really lovely and supportive, she knows I'm working hard and asks me if I'm okay every day and of course I say yes and explain that I do feel busy but it's manageable but now I don't feel like I am managing. I don't really know how to talk about it to her because there isn't anything she can do, we're stretched thin as it is and we can't redistribute my work at all especially not just because I'm having a cry now and then. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Dirtyhorseshoes]

I'm really struggling with my job. My workload isn't too high, the work I am doing isn't too intense but I feel awful at the moment. I deal with students who need extensions for their assessments, and as we're slap bang in our assessment period, it's just constant. So many of our students are struggling and because I am the point of contact they're offloading all their stress onto me and I get told things such as where they have made attempts on their life or they are deep in a mental health crisis and have no support.

I could be wrong but its seems to me you are coping with your job which is the assessment side of things. What you're not coping with is the bit that sounds like it isn't your job or your responsibility - -students in crisis re mental health.

If that second bit wasn't landing on your lap would you be able to cope?
Is supporting students with personal issues part of your job?

 

[apollo1]

Hi jarv. So sorry you’re feeling like this. I’m sorry I can’t offer anything constructive but just wanted to say I fully understand. I’ve got home from work and had a cry twice this week and I understand about everything being stretched so thinly that there’s no real solution, as well as being in a role where you carry emotional baggage home with you.
I really hope things get better for you soon.

 

[Steph’s]

Hi everyone. Hoping for some perspective on what to do in this situation. I am bridesmaid for my best friend this year. My boyfriend of 8+ years has always struggled with anxiety especially in big social situations. We are obviously both invited however he is pretty much refusing to come. I have been so proud of him in the past when he has attended events in which his anxiety has been high. All my other friends partners will be attending. I guess I am just not sure whether I should persuade him to come so his anxiety isn’t so bad for future big events or just leave it be and attend alone.

 

[jarv]

I could be wrong but its seems to me you are coping with your job which is the assessment side of things. What you're not coping with is the bit that sounds like it isn't your job or your responsibility - -students in crisis re mental health.

If that second bit wasn't landing on your lap would you be able to cope?
Is supporting students with personal issues part of your job?

Yeah it is more about personal issues with students. The work itself isn't difficult. It isn't my job to provide mental health support but it's also not the students fault if they are just trying to explain why they can't submit work and aren't sure what to do. I'm constantly sign posting students to mental health support and other services that offer help here but it's exhausting. I get a lot of panicked students too and it's just getting to be too much.

 

[Dirtyhorseshoes]

Yeah it is more about personal issues with students. The work itself isn't difficult. It isn't my job to provide mental health support but it's also not the students fault if they are just trying to explain why they can't submit work and aren't sure what to do. I'm constantly sign posting students to mental health support and other services that offer help here but it's exhausting. I get a lot of panicked students too and it's just getting to be too much.

Maybe you could suggest to your boos they hire a volunteer to sign post students in the right direction. I really feel for you. It sounds like a burden you could do without

 

[jarv]

Maybe you could suggest to your boos they hire a volunteer to sign post students in the right direction. I really feel for you. It sounds like a burden you could do without

Thanks for replying. I just need to get it out and hope that once we're over the worst of it in a few weeks time I start enjoying my job again!

 

[TheGlossy]

I need to vent about the Irish healthcare system. I love Ireland, don't get me wrong, but the healthcare system is completely broken.

I had (what seemed to be) a brief seizure on Sunday. I tend to always minimize what I have, so I was unsure as to whether a trip to the ER was truly needed. It was my first ever episode and thought I had probably dreamed the whole thing (I didn't). It took me ages to figure out what to do. I was about to ring an ambulance on the spot as I was having the episode as my vision was getting altered and I live on my own, but chose to wait and see if the episode would stop. It did. About two hours later, I rang my insurance nurse line (it was 8 pm) who said my situation was concerning and I needed to either call the out of hours doctor or go to the ER. I rang the out of hours doctor who said I needed to go to the ER urgently as it couldn't wait until the morning.

Sure - I made my way to the ER that night ... that's when my disillusion started. First of all, as it was quite late, so I had no choice but to go to Saint James' A&E (not too keen). That in itself was already an annoyance. Absolutely despise the area to begin with. I got there and the waiting room was full. You had all sorts of characters, truly. No one seemed sick aside from maybe 2 people who were visibly in pain. The rest seemed fine or drunk (well, fine enough to start arguing, going back and forth between the smoking area and the waiting room etc...).

When you get there, the first step is to go through triage. As I got called for triage, some girl started throwing a fit over the fact she had been there for ages and I shouldn't be called before her (this fool didn't understand I got called for triage, not to see the doctor. She already had a bracelet around her wrist, so she had already gone through triage. I didn't have one, so clearly, it was just triage for me). The kind nurse said he's just following the list given to him.

Anyway, fast forward, the drunks start fighting and a few shenanigans take place. 10 hours later, I was still sitting there, waiting to be seen for a matter that I was told was urgent by the online nurse & out of hours doctor I had called prior to reaching the ER. They even took in people who arrived after me in the morning. Everyone from the night before had already left and I was still there alone at 9am (mind you, I started waiting at midnight). A complete and utter disgrace. I almost started thinking they couldn't care less because I don't have an Irish sounding name (everyone in the waiting room had an Irish name aside from myself and another lady who was also still waiting 12+ hours later). A complete disgrace. There was even a point during which they didn't call anyone for 3 hours.

I ended up leaving and called my GP who told me they didn't have any spot for me until Friday next week (same GP I called the night before to ask for advice). OK, I book an appointment with another GP who seemed decent enough and advised me to go private next time (OK, but private isn't open at night). He urgently refers me to a neurologist and forgets to give me the referral letter (really?). On the same day, I received an invoice from Saint James' hospital to pay for a service I never availed of in the first place. Why on earth would I pay €100 for such a lousy service?

As a expat who lives on my own, I need to make sure I can rely on the healthcare system if something happens, but I simply can't. It's a complete disgrace to see what my taxes are feeding into.

 

[TikToc]

I need to vent about the Irish healthcare system. I love Ireland, don't get me wrong, but the healthcare system is completely broken.

I had (what seemed to be) a brief seizure on Sunday. I tend to always minimize what I have, so I was unsure as to whether a trip to the ER was truly needed. It was my first ever episode and thought I had probably dreamed the whole thing (I didn't). It took me ages to figure out what to do. I was about to ring an ambulance on the spot as I was having the episode as my vision was getting altered and I live on my own, but chose to wait and see if the episode would stop. It did. About two hours later, I rang my insurance nurse line (it was 8 pm) who said my situation was concerning and I needed to either call the out of hours doctor or go to the ER. I rang the out of hours doctor who said I needed to go to the ER urgently as it couldn't wait until the morning.

Sure - I made my way to the ER that night ... that's when my disillusion started. First of all, as it was quite late, so I had no choice but to go to Saint James' A&E (not too keen). That in itself was already an annoyance. Absolutely despise the area to begin with. I got there and the waiting room was full. You had all sorts of characters, truly. No one seemed sick aside from maybe 2 people who were visibly in pain. The rest seemed fine or drunk (well, fine enough to start arguing, going back and forth between the smoking area and the waiting room etc...).

When you get there, the first step is to go through triage. As I got called for triage, some girl started throwing a fit over the fact she had been there for ages and I shouldn't be called before her (this fool didn't understand I got called for triage, not to see the doctor. She already had a bracelet around her wrist, so she had already gone through triage. I didn't have one, so clearly, it was just triage for me). The kind nurse said he's just following the list given to him.

Anyway, fast forward, the drunks start fighting and a few shenanigans take place. 10 hours later, I was still sitting there, waiting to be seen for a matter that I was told was urgent by the online nurse & out of hours doctor I had called prior to reaching the ER. They even took in people who arrived after me in the morning. Everyone from the night before had already left and I was still there alone at 9am (mind you, I started waiting at midnight). A complete and utter disgrace. I almost started thinking they couldn't care less because I don't have an Irish sounding name (everyone in the waiting room had an Irish name aside from myself and another lady who was also still waiting 12+ hours later). A complete disgrace. There was even a point during which they didn't call anyone for 3 hours.

I ended up leaving and called my GP who told me they didn't have any spot for me until Friday next week (same GP I called the night before to ask for advice). OK, I book an appointment with another GP who seemed decent enough and advised me to go private next time (OK, but private isn't open at night). He urgently refers me to a neurologist and forgets to give me the referral letter (really?). On the same day, I received an invoice from Saint James' hospital to pay for a service I never availed of in the first place. Why on earth would I pay €100 for such a lousy service?

As a expat who lives on my own, I need to make sure I can rely on the healthcare system if something happens, but I simply can't. It's a complete disgrace to see what my taxes are feeding into.

That is shocking and I totally support your story having something similar happen to me in Cork. Drunks and prisoners in handcuffs being seen before me. I just left and like you got an invoice for no service!

 

[TheGlossy]

That is shocking and I totally support your story having something similar happen to me in Cork. Drunks and prisoners in handcuffs being seen before me. I just left and like you got an invoice for no service!

Thank you.

Here is me thinking it's probably a Dublin specific issue and better elsewhere in Ireland!

Even the GP himself advised me to go private in case I have another emergency. I'm not a fan of this approach as it sounds quite elitist, but the truth is the public system is unfortunately severely impacted by various limitations. It's sad to see in a developed country like Ireland, but plenty of developed countries are facing similar issues, some to an even greater magnitude. I understand the current COVID crisis is putting a huge strain on the healthcare system, but it doesn't justify the fact that no one was called for 3 hours and the fact that drunks who got into fights got treated before people with legitimate health issues. It's no longer an emergency if you're still waiting 10 hours later. I'm still alive, so ultimately, that's what matters I suppose.

 

[TikToc]

Thank you.

Here is me thinking it's probably a Dublin specific issue and better elsewhere in Ireland!

Even the GP himself advised me to go private in case I have another emergency. I'm not a fan of this approach as it sounds quite elitist, but the truth is the public system is unfortunately severely impacted by various limitations. It's sad to see in a developed country like Ireland, but plenty of developed countries are facing similar issues, some to an even greater magnitude. I understand the current COVID crisis is putting a huge strain on the healthcare system, but it doesn't justify the fact that no one was called for 3 hours and the fact that drunks who got into fights got treated before people with legitimate health issues. It's no longer an emergency if you're still waiting 10 hours later. I'm still alive, so ultimately, that's what matters I suppose.

That is why I absolutely wouldn't be without health insurance.

 

[Caramel Latte]

I feel guilty as there are some habits that really bother me and i know that i need to improve them but i just fail everytime. I tell myself that i will be better next time and not give up but every time i fail i just feel so embarrassed at how weak i am.
Meanwhile, my life is on hold. No major problems but generally nothing happening. I find the bad in everything and v critical and it's just another thing i don't like about myself.
I'm not looking forward to anything happening in my life and just so scared especially that we moved recently. Sometimes i wonder if life will ever get better? If I ever find an actual purpose for my life as it's relatively empty compared to everyone else's.
I also fail at committing to things like diet, courses, exercise, reading.
Typing all of this for strangers to see makes me embarrassed at how much of a loser i sound. I know the right thing but too unmotivated to do it

 

[jarv]

I think I have to get myself signed off work, I've had a panic attack this afternoon and my mental health is declining so quickly I don't like the thoughts I'm having and I can't seem to get myself out of it. However I also feel frickin mortified at ducking out of my job at a time where we're so stretched. I just don't know what to do.