Single by Choice

[LaBlonde]

https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...le-insists-shes-content-remaining-single.html

Okay hands up, which one of you is Oscar nominated actress Lesley Manville?

based on this, apparently i am

She explained to The Guardian: 'It sounds awful and makes me sound a bit cold but if I don’t have somebody at home, I don’t have to consider them.

 

[Meringue22]

My fireplace and settees are pink.
First thing I did when I had peace again in my home. Painted the fireplace and went to DFS.

I also spent £90 on Lovehoney products

I just bought a load of Lovehoney products I’ll have more fun alone than I ever did with my ex husband that’s for sure!

 

[BattyBones]

Just had this thread signposted to me so…. HALLOOOOOOOOO!

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

I spent a lot of my 20s looking for a partner because I thought I had to and I also wanted to be a mum. At the age of 47 I have just managed to extricate myself from a 17 year extremely toxic relationship in which the only good thing I got out of is my daughter. Now I am in the position of using that awful clichéd phrase of trying to "find myself" my girl being of an age where she doesn't need me as much and I have time for me. I am not sure what to do with myself but I know with a deep certainty that I will never be in another relationship, I am so much happier with the freedom I have to live exactly how I want to. No compromise, no criticism, no pandering to others needs. I am excited about the future for the first time in forever!

It's SO exciting! I've recently started a lot of self exploration. Lots of things that people might consider 'woo' but that are bringing such great things to my life. I love myself (but am not vain of full of myself, that's not the same thing at all). I go to sound baths, I'm learning to meditate. I go to a lot of women only events where women talk about things that are important to them. I'm becoming more reflective and I practise gratitude every day. I'm feeling a lot of peace and contentment. I don't watch the news and I cut anyone or anything toxic from my life. I know my worth in friendship circles and at work and give as much back. It takes practice but you can make every day a thing to look forward to.

 

[Zulkraa]

Happy New Year

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I saw a post from someone saying that she’d fallen a bit too deep into hating men and it was blocking her energy from manifesting a good partner.

I do kind of get it but at the same time, it feels like we’re blaming ourselves again when we’re just responding to men’s behaviour. The ‘man-hating’ hasn’t come out of nowhere, it’s a consequence of their actions, and it’s generally more fear - not just physically, but fear of being hurt, cheated on, emotionally damaged etc. - than hate.

I wish I didn’t dislike men but time and time again I am shown why I do, even though I do know some lovely men.

SO WELL SAID! And then if they do meet someone they act superior like it's anything other than luck. I hate manifesting culture too but that's for another post haha.

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

If we get to another thread at some point we should change the title to "Single at Heart"
---
Here's the book online btw!

Single at Heart

 

[Badirene]

You've reminded me to get a card for my cat.


Joke.


Or is it?

Try this

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@CostaChat You don't need therapy at all. All the feelings you have will come and go. Imagine the feelings a woman experiences when trapped with an unloving, selfish spouse or just all the daily irritation of living around someone when you crave solitude and your kind of order. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. "Say it loud, I'm SINGLE and proud!"

 

[petitspois]

Finding a guy who's all the above plus doesn't take himself too seriously is hard going. Notice none of us have mentioned looks so I think we are all happy to compromise on that but finding a decent, bright, self aware man who can laugh at himself and make me laugh is not happening.

Basically, I want me in male form

 

[Wooh]

Upsets me how many strong, funny, beautiful amazing women I know are tied to men who are abusive , boring or angry.
We are conditioned from very early on to accept scraps and that out validation is from men alone.

Love this thread , women validating ourselves and knowing our worth is not what our relationship status is.

I'd like to give a shout out to my mother, who was such a wife. Long story, usual shit.

She couldn't always stand up for herself/us, but she made darn sure I'd have choices.

 

[LaBlonde]

I went on a trip to NYC last month and many of my colleagues were horrified to hear I was going ALONE Who would I spend time with, eat at restaurants with, travel with? ME! I love my own company, and I got to do what I wanted, when I wanted! I tried lobster for the first time, went to some of the same shops multiple times (without annoying anyone else), got lots of uninterrupted sleep.

I also made great friends with a couple of fellow solo travellers at the airport when we found out our flight was delayed by 14 hours!! We spent time chatting and eating together, and it's something I certainly wouldn't have done if I was travelling with someone else. Being single doesn't mean you are lonely or can't have a good time

this is amazing and you have inspired me

i’ve been wanting to go to vancouver for a long while but no friends are able to go (for a variety of reasons) - i think i might just bite the bullet and DO IT. life’s too short.

 

[newtoyou]

The not hearing someone breathing is so funny. I read things from women all the time who cant stand hearing their husband eat and breathe. I couldn’t do that every day

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

In my house, It’s me, my mother and my daughter so we live in beautiful harmony. The only trouble we have is with my Bengal cat and surprise, surprise - he is male. They are all the same! He does nothing round the house and expects us to weight on him hand and foot. He is such a little shit and I refuse to believe a female cat would have the same attitude!

 

[queenamber]

I haven't been on this thread for a while but I'm still happily single and doing lots of solo trips - loving it!

Also here with a book recommendation that I think people here will love: Arrangements in Blue by Amy Key. It's amazing and it's so validating. Really hope more books come out like this!

When poet Amy Key was growing up, she looked forward to a life shaped by romance, fuelled by desire, longing and the conventional markers of success that come when you share a life with another person. But that didn't happen for her. Now in her forties, she sets out to explore the realities of a life lived in the absence of romantic love.

Using Joni Mitchell's seminal album Blue - which shaped Key's expectations of love - as an anchor, Arrangements in Blue elegantly honours a life lived completely by, and for, oneself. Building a home, travelling alone, choosing whether to be a mother, recognising her own milestones, learning the limits of self-care and the expansive potential of self-friendship, Key uncovers the many forms of connection and care that often go unnoticed.

With profound candour and intimacy, Arrangements in Blue explores the painful feelings we are usually too ashamed to discuss: loneliness, envy, grief and failure. The result is a book which inspires us to live and love more honestly.

 

[OmgObsessed]

I've actually had the opposite experience. Everytime I tell them I don't want kids they throw a fit lol.

 

[shadowcat5]

HELLO FRIENDS! Come over from Childfree by Choice and sooooo very excited to have found this thread, even if it's currently snoozing a little

I am single by choice and childless by choice! Live alone and love every minute of it. Over lockdown I was constantly met with gasps and concern when people learned I was isolating alone, and I always made sure to let them know how happy I was doing so Watch what I like, when I like, make fun foods with no one else weighing in on what's for dinner, sleep as long as I like, pleasure myself......well, whenever I like and also successfully every time A lot more than I can say for past partners! And then seeing comments in the work Teams chat about how people are "ready to strangle" their partners / kids that they're isolating with....YOU CHOSE THEM! You chose to get into a relationship, you chose to move in, you chose to procreate - why is so funny to talk about not being able to stand your spouse? So bizarre to me!

I'm also constantly asked by...usually older men who I don't know, weirdly, "Why are you single?!??!". I believe it's meant as a pity compliment as in "How could you POSSIBLY be single because you're so pretty!!". I always say - because I haven't found anyone good enough yet! Usually leaves them a bit bemused because they don't expect me to be so confident in myself lol!

Gosh SOOOO many things I could say, but overall just happy this thread exists

hahah welcome!! I'm not sure why it's gone quiet but happy it's been resurrected!!

I hate when people ask me why I'm single. I know people think it's a compliment to say it and it implies that you're great but it's really just implying that you're not good enough alone.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

We are all amazing!!

Single & Free. Yippee

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

It's bloody BRILLIANT isn't it? I'm 10+ years and one house move of my choice in. It just gets better and better!

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

What a joy it is to be living in peace on Valentine's Day!
---
I've always been at my happiest single. Took me a while to realise being single is ok and brilliant too.