Totally. Spinster is such an old-fashioned-sounding word!I prefer the word bachelorette to spinsterFor me the word spinster translates to crazy old cat lady for some reason
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Oooh what a great thread! I’ve been single by choice for 11 or so years now. Those that know me are thankfully over the “why don’t you / you need to meet someone” stage. I have a busy and fulfilling career and 2 children - I simply don’t have the time or inclination for a relationship. I really can’t see any benefit to it either, I don’t get bored, I enjoy my own company, I have my own money etc - the last thing I want to do is end up having to became some lazy man child’s chef / cleaner / domestic servant etc. I’m also totally not bothered by s*x either. As much as many women can’t relate to me I can’t relate to them and their need to be with a man no matter how crappy they are made to feel or what they have to put up with.
I've not been single for as long as you, but my feelings and reasons are the same. I have limited child free time and work full time, so I just don't see where a relationship would fit in my life. I wouldn't want to add anyone into my children's life, seeing the impact on them of their father doing that immediately after leaving (affair). I barely have time to see friends on my free weekends, so why would I want to try and date someone who is unlikely to add much value to my life?
Yes it's expensive being single, especially with the cost of living, but breaking up with someone is expensive too and I'm not taking that chance again, even when the kids have moved out. Separate finances always.
It amuses me how these people who interrogate us on our love lives will 9 out of 10 times say at some point, “oh I could never go back to dating! If I split with him I’d just be single” 
After a very long 15 years on and off with my ex, I’ve decided to remain single forever. There’s nothing that seems more like hell than meeting someone else again, and the thought of someone touching me in anyway makes me feel sick.
I never thought I’d be happy single, I imagined being married to someone forever, I was the biggest romantic and loved Hugh Grant films. 15 years later and after being on the receiving end of emotional, physical, verbal and financial abuse I’m now the biggest sceptic going. Thankfully I didn’t marry him, but did have a child because stupidly I was one of those women that thought having a baby would change everything and make him really love me. It didn’t, he got worse. I’ve ended up providing everything for my child by whatever means, with him tagging a long too, and continuing his abuse. So I just remind myself I’ve got this far with a ball and chain round my ankle, going through hell and effectively as a single parent, so I can carry on but by being more free. I don’t think I could ever trust another man again and I don’t see I have anything to gain, I’m happy with my company, I don’t need another income, or a step parent to my child. The only thing I could do with is some free DIY work around the house, but I couldn’t be doing with nagging someone else to do it haha.
I never thought I’d be happy single, I imagined being married to someone forever, I was the biggest romantic and loved Hugh Grant films. 15 years later and after being on the receiving end of emotional, physical, verbal and financial abuse I’m now the biggest sceptic going. Thankfully I didn’t marry him, but did have a child because stupidly I was one of those women that thought having a baby would change everything and make him really love me. It didn’t, he got worse. I’ve ended up providing everything for my child by whatever means, with him tagging a long too, and continuing his abuse. So I just remind myself I’ve got this far with a ball and chain round my ankle, going through hell and effectively as a single parent, so I can carry on but by being more free. I don’t think I could ever trust another man again and I don’t see I have anything to gain, I’m happy with my company, I don’t need another income, or a step parent to my child. The only thing I could do with is some free DIY work around the house, but I couldn’t be doing with nagging someone else to do it haha.
My last ex was a Pita when it came to DIY or gardening anyway. He wanted me there helping and handing tools to him like he was a bleeping surgeon carrying out an operation. All stressy about it too. No thanks I'd rather pay an expert! 
Okay hands up, which one of you is Oscar nominated actress Lesley Manville?
based on this, apparently i am
She explained to The Guardian: 'It sounds awful and makes me sound a bit cold but if I don’t have somebody at home, I don’t have to consider them.
It’s a great interview. She done well not telling the interviewer to f- off when they asked if she’s lonely. She’s busy, successful and thriving.based on this, apparently i am
She explained to The Guardian: 'It sounds awful and makes me sound a bit cold but if I don’t have somebody at home, I don’t have to consider them.
I’m happy to be a spinster
Attachments
Sadly that's a spin on the actual origin. https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/spinster-meaning-origin
My sibling recently got engaged but now I’m being bombarded with the ‘you’ll be next!’ ‘Will you be getting married?’ and ‘you’ll find someone’ whenever I respond with No. This is all despite knowing I’ve never had or want a long-term relationship, also, why are they making this about me and my future?!
the wedding is going to be hell
the wedding is going to be hell
sending you
- it’s SO tough. i was at a family party over the weekend and my aunt was talking about my cousin (25) and how she’s been in a relationship since she was 13 and i could feel everyone looking at me. i don’t know why people insist on (a) being awkward and (b) asking such invasive questions.i did see this on insta this morning though which seems to speak to both of us x (and probably other people here too!)
Thank you so much! It is awkward and invasive and I don’t know what they’re trying to achieve really.sending you
i did see this on insta this morning though which seems to speak to both of us x (and probably other people here too!)
Is it from a place of genuine curiosity for them (in which case they should stop being nosey) or do they think we could never possibly be happy without someone by our side?!
There are 2 people in my work who are seeing each other. They message on the work message system and then take tea breaks together on top of seeing each other outside of work/at the weekends..
It's quite nice really and I am happy for them but I honestly thought 'duck I'd hate that'. Firstly, there's the awkwardness of seeing someone you work with but I don't think I could manage being around/talking to someone that much lmao.
It's quite nice really and I am happy for them but I honestly thought 'duck I'd hate that'. Firstly, there's the awkwardness of seeing someone you work with but I don't think I could manage being around/talking to someone that much lmao.
Did they get together recently because that’s a lot if they’re not still getting to know each other
I’d feel claustrophobicI agree! I don’t know how people don’t get sick of each other in that scenario. I don’t want to be negative, but I suspect that’s the sort of setup that will implode quickly and coworkers will have to deal with some of the fallout.
I love this!sending you
i did see this on insta this morning though which seems to speak to both of us x (and probably other people here too!)
I'm reading a book and one of the people in it responded about it being a patronising comment. Might use that in some way in future.
A one time 'big boss' of mine embarked on an affair with his assistant but what made it really awkward was the fact his wife worked in the same organisation!