Sparked from a discussion on childfree by choice!
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i am still figuring things out but I don’t experience anything sexually.Thanks for starting this. I don’t get romantic feelings for people hence my choice. Interested to know why others have chosen to be single
I can find people aesthetically pleasing and I think I can have romantic feelings but sexually I just feel nothing?
Thanks for this thread. A couple of years ago I realised I was A-sexual, so single from choice here too. I still find men attractive (I’ve been married and have a 19 year old daughter and had other relationships before and after) but the thought of actually being in a relationship and having a sexual relationship with anyone makes me want to run a mile. The thought of being in my twilight years and on my own concerns me a bit but I’m in my late 40’s so I’m ok with it at the moment.
Thank you for starting the thread @shadowcat5
It’s really interesting to see people‘s different reasons for choosing to be single. The main reason for me is because I have mental health problems at the moment, so it’s the last thing on my mind. I don’t think that other people with mental health problems shouldn’t be in relationships, it’s just how I see it for myself.
It’s really interesting to see people‘s different reasons for choosing to be single. The main reason for me is because I have mental health problems at the moment, so it’s the last thing on my mind. I don’t think that other people with mental health problems shouldn’t be in relationships, it’s just how I see it for myself.
I feel a lot more at ease being single.
When I was 15 I started dating, my first bf and I dated two years and he didn’t treat me well- there was a lot of mind games. Once we split up I had a couple of dates and then met someone at 18- we dated almost 6 years and he was a mentally abusive hole who proposed to another girl whilst with me. After that I went on a couple of dates but it made me so anxiety ridden I decided to just work on myself for 5 years. I met someone last year and we dated 6 months but he was probably one of the most covertly selfish people ever, always hot and cold so I never knew where I stood. We split up and to be honest since then I haven’t been bothered to date. I think in part it’s an anxiety/ fear of getting hurt thing but also I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I have friends, my own house, family around me and so much flexibility to do my own thing without having to run it by someone or feel like I’m compromising on my me time. I like my own company. It does get awkward with family that don’t understand though- I’ve had questions about my sexuality, tell me my clock is ticking etc and that bothers me a lot more than being single.
When I was 15 I started dating, my first bf and I dated two years and he didn’t treat me well- there was a lot of mind games. Once we split up I had a couple of dates and then met someone at 18- we dated almost 6 years and he was a mentally abusive hole who proposed to another girl whilst with me. After that I went on a couple of dates but it made me so anxiety ridden I decided to just work on myself for 5 years. I met someone last year and we dated 6 months but he was probably one of the most covertly selfish people ever, always hot and cold so I never knew where I stood. We split up and to be honest since then I haven’t been bothered to date. I think in part it’s an anxiety/ fear of getting hurt thing but also I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I have friends, my own house, family around me and so much flexibility to do my own thing without having to run it by someone or feel like I’m compromising on my me time. I like my own company. It does get awkward with family that don’t understand though- I’ve had questions about my sexuality, tell me my clock is ticking etc and that bothers me a lot more than being single.
I am so happy that we can talk on this thread. I always felt so alone being single because I was always surrounded by people who needed to be in relationships. I think it’s worse for women. It feels like society tells women that we’re not complete or we’re unworthy when we’re not in relationships. I believe that’s where the pressure comes from. I have never been in a relationship and always been happy which felt like it was against the grain
I prefer to be single. I've been married & lived with a couple of guys but I tend to find people who recreate my anxious childhood and I no longer want that! I've had a few flings, relationships from 6 months to 8 years but I'm more stable alone. I also need practically 90% alone time, so it's best I keep this way.
oh wow thank you for this thread! i feel seen!
i’ve gradually come to terms with the fact that i have a complicated relationship with sex and intimacy - i’m almost certainly on the ace spectrum though i identify heavily as demisexual i suppose.
i don’t like people in my space (even if close friends stay with me for a night or two i’m ready for them to leave) and need alone time: i think i just work best single, when my time is my own and i can focus on what makes me happy. this does sometimes collide with general loneliness but i don’t know if i actually feel it or if i feel like i SHOULD feel it, if that makes sense.
i’ve gradually come to terms with the fact that i have a complicated relationship with sex and intimacy - i’m almost certainly on the ace spectrum though i identify heavily as demisexual i suppose.
i don’t like people in my space (even if close friends stay with me for a night or two i’m ready for them to leave) and need alone time: i think i just work best single, when my time is my own and i can focus on what makes me happy. this does sometimes collide with general loneliness but i don’t know if i actually feel it or if i feel like i SHOULD feel it, if that makes sense.
Thanks for this thread. I’m not sure if I’m single by choice but I choose not to date or look for anyone. Happy with my lot, if someone came into my life that’s great but I always end up being disappointed
@LaBlonde Haha. When I go to my sister's for a family get together around 6 pm I'll make movements to go & my sister laughs and says "Psychos had enough now" 
I've been waiting for the perfect moment to share this. I wholeheartedly get it
I've been waiting for the perfect moment to share this. I wholeheartedly get it
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I’ve not processed codependency and fortunately have no interest in relationships, but would want to be secure in myself before ever getting in one again. I also wouldn’t want to live with someone. I had two long-term, unhealthy relationships that I wasted my youth on because I thought it was worth putting up with so I had someone there, even though it felt lonelier.
When I hear stories about “keeping the spark alive” and women doing the bulk of household chores etc. it makes me recoil. No interest in kissing any more
When I hear stories about “keeping the spark alive” and women doing the bulk of household chores etc. it makes me recoil. No interest in kissing any more
Oh can we talk about this?! I’m sorry to say but the amount of times I read rants from married women about their husbands who don’t do anything and I think “you married them?”I’ve not processed codependency and fortunately have no interest in relationships, but would want to be secure in myself before ever getting in one again. I also wouldn’t want to live with someone. I had two long-term, unhealthy relationships that I wasted my youth on because I thought it was worth putting up with so I had someone there, even though it felt lonelier.
When I hear stories about “keeping the spark alive” and women doing the bulk of household chores etc. it makes me recoil. No interest in kissing any more
I think one of my issues about relationships is getting with someone and finding out they are completely incompetent and I have to be their second mother. I couldn’t do it.
I’ve been single by choice for about 3 and a half years, I’ve had a lot of healing to do after a long term abusive relationship combined with every other boyfriend I’ve ever had cheating on me.
I have been back on a couple of dating apps again recently but mostly find myself just recoiling with the absolute ick that men give me now. There’s no one out there that much appeals to me
I have been back on a couple of dating apps again recently but mostly find myself just recoiling with the absolute ick that men give me now. There’s no one out there that much appeals to me
@EvilJigglypuff Same. I think the apps were the nail in my coffin regarding men. I've never felt so disillusioned. Being single is paradise in earth compared to that experience! 
This is exactly me!
I think it may have been mentioned in the Childfree thread (perhaps even by yourself) but how do people find answering the question of “so have you found anyone?” Or “when is it going to be you?” at like weddings etc. What do you say that will stop asking forever lol
Just say you’re happy as you are, it’s no one else’s business really why someone is single. People really need to get over this insistence that everyone needs to be in a relationship, it’s outdated and quite frankly - offensive.
do men ever get asked?
men get to be handsome bachelors about town, rebels that will never be pinned down until who will be the lucky woman to tame them until at least their late 50s. or older.
look at how differently the media used to talk about george clooney compared to how they speak about jennifer anniston.
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