Single by Choice

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I'm a bit of a lurker on this thread. I think I'm starting to finally find peace with being single after a few years of desperation to find my "happily ever after"
 
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I’ve always been reasonably happy single but this week is the first week in absolute years where I came home and thought ‘I could do with a hug’.
 
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I’ve always been reasonably happy single but this week is the first week in absolute years where I came home and thought ‘I could do with a hug’.
I think this a lot - I'm a hugger but most of my friends aren't. Had a lovely long hug with my Dad yesterday and it will tide me over for the week ☺
 
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Another internal dialogue coming up…

I love how peaceful and focused my life is, now that I’m no longer centering men. All of a sudden those 24 hours in a day seem like 48 hours. This witch is getting tit done. I’m putting all of my energy into my studies and business plans, and I’m getting a lot of POSITIVE RESULTS. There is a lesson for me there. The amount of energy and blind faith I used to put into what a man “said”….which led to disappointment 100% of the time, is eye watering. I’ll never do that again. I can’t get that time back, but I can take back control. We don’t need to keep accepting bad behaviour over and over and over again, just because we “want to be loved.” Also, I’m noticing lately that I can’t really tolerate conversations, where the focus is on “getting a man.” I guess that is because I’ve changed, and I’ve grown as a woman. I’m becoming the woman I was always meant to be, and that fills me with so much joy, which is more than any man has ever provided me.
 
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I haven't read all the posts on here for a while but just wanted to see if anyone else feels like I do. I've been single most my life, had the odd short term relationship and every time they ended i have been relieved. I'm trying to get back into the dating game and met someone really nice, due to meet up in a few weeks time as I'm away before then. However I just feel so sad and anxious all the time now. I am very happy with being single, I have friends, I have family but feel like I "should be" settling down now, hence trying to date. Is it normal to feel so horrible at the thought of dating and being in a relationship? I have my own flat, a good social life and love going on holidays, I have pretty much no interest in being in a relationship other than the fact I have a wedding to go to in a few years time and I know i should go with someone or risk being the odd one out again. Don't know why I'm posting this, I just feel so lost now whereas a few weeks ago I was my normal happy self!
Also to add, this guy seems very sweet, genuine and not your typical tinder type, I'm just constantly waiting for him to cancel our date so I don't have to or if it goes well later down the line I know I'm going to be stuck 😟
Ps I'm fully aware I probably need therapy to deal with all this instead of tattle 😂
 
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I haven't read all the posts on here for a while but just wanted to see if anyone else feels like I do. I've been single most my life, had the odd short term relationship and every time they ended i have been relieved. I'm trying to get back into the dating game and met someone really nice, due to meet up in a few weeks time as I'm away before then. However I just feel so sad and anxious all the time now. I am very happy with being single, I have friends, I have family but feel like I "should be" settling down now, hence trying to date. Is it normal to feel so horrible at the thought of dating and being in a relationship? I have my own flat, a good social life and love going on holidays, I have pretty much no interest in being in a relationship other than the fact I have a wedding to go to in a few years time and I know i should go with someone or risk being the odd one out again. Don't know why I'm posting this, I just feel so lost now whereas a few weeks ago I was my normal happy self!
Also to add, this guy seems very sweet, genuine and not your typical tinder type, I'm just constantly waiting for him to cancel our date so I don't have to or if it goes well later down the line I know I'm going to be stuck 😟
Ps I'm fully aware I probably need therapy to deal with all this instead of tattle 😂
I’d say that’s pretty normal. I get that feeling too because I hate the thought of being trapped with someone.

I think if you enjoy living a certain way, then the thought of not having that will always be unsettling to you because you just don’t want it. And there’s nothing wrong with not wanting whatever everyone else has. In fact it’s freeing :)

You can defo deal with one wedding by yourself for a lifetime of happy single life 💚
 
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@CostaChat You don't need therapy at all. All the feelings you have will come and go. Imagine the feelings a woman experiences when trapped with an unloving, selfish spouse or just all the daily irritation of living around someone when you crave solitude and your kind of order. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. "Say it loud, I'm SINGLE and proud!" 😄
 
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I haven't read all the posts on here for a while but just wanted to see if anyone else feels like I do. I've been single most my life, had the odd short term relationship and every time they ended i have been relieved. I'm trying to get back into the dating game and met someone really nice, due to meet up in a few weeks time as I'm away before then. However I just feel so sad and anxious all the time now. I am very happy with being single, I have friends, I have family but feel like I "should be" settling down now, hence trying to date. Is it normal to feel so horrible at the thought of dating and being in a relationship? I have my own flat, a good social life and love going on holidays, I have pretty much no interest in being in a relationship other than the fact I have a wedding to go to in a few years time and I know i should go with someone or risk being the odd one out again. Don't know why I'm posting this, I just feel so lost now whereas a few weeks ago I was my normal happy self!
Also to add, this guy seems very sweet, genuine and not your typical tinder type, I'm just constantly waiting for him to cancel our date so I don't have to or if it goes well later down the line I know I'm going to be stuck 😟
Ps I'm fully aware I probably need therapy to deal with all this instead of tattle 😂
It’s been awhile I just wondered how this worked out?
 
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It’s been awhile I just wondered how this worked out?
Hey, thanks for checking in, it went for a few dates then fizzled out and was happy with that 😂 think I'm destined to be single for ever, though do have lots of trips planned to look forward to.
 
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Hey, thanks for checking in, it went for a few dates then fizzled out and was happy with that 😂 think I'm destined to be single for ever, though do have lots of trips planned to look forward to.
I love planning my own trips no one else to have to please!
 
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I’ve recently had a baby on my own (by choice). I am now certain I will be single forever. I never had the inclination to try date and now I definitely don’t have the time!
 
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I’ve recently had a baby on my own (by choice). I am now certain I will be single forever. I never had the inclination to try date and now I definitely don’t have the time!
Congratulations ❤

I was a single Mum to my first from pregnancy , he is now 17 and just applied to medical school to be a doctor. I credit it to him but like to think those nights I read him story after story because I had the time to as it was just us played a role.
I am now a single Mum again with another two kids to add. I tell you what, it's easier to parent being single. You are amazing x
 
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I’ve recently had a baby on my own (by choice). I am now certain I will be single forever. I never had the inclination to try date and now I definitely don’t have the time!
Oh congratulations to you. I brought my son up on my own. I honestly found it easier than many of my friends whose partners never met their hopes or expectations. Apart from the sleep deprivation I was mainly happy & contented. I'm actually off today to see my two granddaughters:).
 
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My mum brought me up as a single mum. She said it was much easier than when she was with my dad. She only had one child (me) to look after. She could do what she wanted going on holiday, what she should spend her money on, food etc (he was abusive but it wasn’t recognised or much sympathy with in the 1970s). She was a strong lady.
 
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Thank you all so much for all the Votes of Confidence 😊 I’ve genuinely never been happier.

And that’s not to say I don’t 100% support, applaud and respect anyone on this thread and elsewhere that has decided kids are not for them. I can still totally see all the benefits to choosing not to have them but I really really wanted it - ever since I can remember.

It took me 8 rounds of fertility treatment, which on my own, took its toll emotionally, physically and financially but I can honestly say I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have full autonomy on how I parent her, I don’t answer to anyone and only have to consider mine and her needs. The thought of having a man around now or someone else to consider holds absolutely zero appeal to me.

Yes - I would love someone to split the bills but when I weigh up the pros and cons that really is the only pro I can come up with and the cons list is endless.

It will just be me, her and the cat 🐱 forever more and I know that’s all I need to be completely content with life!

Fun fact: Choosing a sperm donor is a bit like online dating but without the pressure to converse and meet up :)
 
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