Hi semen, I find it so hard to empathize with you when you say “a pain I wouldn’t wish anyone ever. A pain I’m unsure will ever go away”. I think you need to seek therapy if this is how you feel. 25% (although thought to be higher) of pregnancies end in miscarriage. You aren’t alone Semen, you are one of 23 million (roughly) women who go through this each year. This pain is felt 23 million times. Maybe open up to your followers about your journey, be open & transparent for once instead of making us guess and make assumptions about what you went through. I find it quite disturbing watching you cry about it to your followers - why not shed a little more about the experience you went through. It seems you are not okay. If you need a good therapist/counsellor I have some good recs - just put up a question box on your page & I’d be happy to help.