Isn't it terrible how many of us grew up with abusive mothers (and fathers) and the effect it still has on us today
I grew up with parents who were both physically and mentally abusive. I actually think the mental abuse was worse. Being constantly put down and belittled. Being told that you were stupid/useless and a 'f**king idiot'. Being shouted and screamed at because you did something wrong. Something like not putting your glass in the dishwasher 'properly'.
My physical appearance was constantly criticised and laughed at. I was a really skinny child and teenager (I'm still a size 6-8 today so it's just a naturally small frame, my grandmother and aunt were both small and slim too)) and had my parents roar and scream and shout at me at mealtimes and force me to eat it until I almost vomited food back up. As a teenager my mother constantly told me that I must be anorexic (I wasn't) I had horribly greasy hair as a teenager and no matter how often I washed it, it was greasy again 24 hours later. This was constantly commented on by both of my parents (particularly my mother) and I was told I was 'dirty' because of this and because of teenage spots.
I'm 41 now and hypercritical of my appearance, especially my hair. I'm never happy with it, and with lockdown etc, it's well overdue a cut. Anytime I try/put something on I always find a fault. That my stomach looks huge (which I was always told growing up) or that my non existent boobs (32B) look stupid in the top/dress/whatever.
I'm not in contact with either of my parents now. About 4 or 5 years ago, I tried to talk to my mother about all of it and she completely blew up at me, told me I was a liar and 'that didn't happen'. She has since sent me cards at Christmas or my birthday with basically the same message everytime, that she 'can't understand what's wrong' (with me) that they 'never did anything wrong' and that I need to 'sort all this mess out', because apparently everything (that didn't happen!) is all my fault.
I've seen her be a complete
witch towards my aunt's (her sister) appearance too. Laughing at what she's wearing, sneering at how she looks and passing horrible comments about her hair/shoes/jewellery etc. There's only a year between them (my aunt is a year older) and my mother is under the impression that she looks 'amazing' for her age and that she could pass for her sister's daughter etc.
My poor old aunt is a real softie and would never talk about anyone like that, either to their face or behind their back which my mother also does a lot of.
I was very close to my other aunt (father's sister who has passed away now) and my mother was forever talking about her behind her back, running her down, sneering about her appearance and laughing and passing horrible comments about her clothes.
She's obviously a miserable and unhappy woman and presumably feels threatened by other women and feels that by running them down she's somehow 'winning' in her sad pathetic life.
After everything she's put me through though, it's hard for me to have any sympathy for her.
Apologies everyone, I didn't mean to go so off topic. I just feel sad that so many of us had to grow up with this kind of abuse