I was born in Elsie Inglis Maternity Hospital.Gosh, reading these stories has made me think back over my relationship with my own mother and appreciate her more.
She grew up with a critical and outspoken mother but I don't think my mum has ever passed any critical comments on my appearance or weight. Definitely critical of some of my life choices (with hindsight she was right!) and our relationship was turbulent during my teen years which clashed with her menopause. Handed me down a touch of the martyr too.
I hadn't really thought about it before but I now realise just how lucky I am in that respect.
My mum is in her 70s now and has rediscovered feminism, joined a women's history group and even went on a suffragette march with them dressed as Elsie Inglis - which made me so proud.
ETA: sorry, it was my aunt who was Elsie, my mum was Mary Brooksbank.
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I was born in Elsie Inglis Maternity Hospital.
I don’t have any contact with my mother. She allowed an abusive bastard to knock me about, verbally put me down and made me live with him in fear for 12 years. I still have nightmares and flashbacks and am awaiting PTSD therapy. I’ve struggled with my mental health for 30 years and am lucky to still be alive.
So she can duck off to the far side of duck.
So she can duck off to the far side of duck.
Silverback I barely speak to mine. She hasn't noticed though, she's too self absorbed.
As sad as it is to read your experiences in a way it is comforting to know we're not alone.
The myth of unconditional maternal love, that it is this great, unqualified, unquantified, most natural ever lasting love and bond was very damaging to me. It made me feel even more rejected by my mother. How could she not feel this way, if she couldn't then how could anyone else love me if my own mother couldn't? After years of therapy I see it differently and I know this was about her and her own issues than me being unloveable.
I think people who grow up with loving parents are extremely lucky and shouldn't assume that therefor all other parents are like theirs and all issues are just silly 'tiffs' and misunderstandings. I know posters on here don't, but it is so hurtful when people gasp BUT-HOOOOOOW are you no contact with your mum??? Life is so short you will regret it. Ummm, try walking in my shoes first.
The myth of unconditional maternal love, that it is this great, unqualified, unquantified, most natural ever lasting love and bond was very damaging to me. It made me feel even more rejected by my mother. How could she not feel this way, if she couldn't then how could anyone else love me if my own mother couldn't? After years of therapy I see it differently and I know this was about her and her own issues than me being unloveable.
I think people who grow up with loving parents are extremely lucky and shouldn't assume that therefor all other parents are like theirs and all issues are just silly 'tiffs' and misunderstandings. I know posters on here don't, but it is so hurtful when people gasp BUT-HOOOOOOW are you no contact with your mum??? Life is so short you will regret it. Ummm, try walking in my shoes first.
Isn't it terrible how many of us grew up with abusive mothers (and fathers) and the effect it still has on us today 
I grew up with parents who were both physically and mentally abusive. I actually think the mental abuse was worse. Being constantly put down and belittled. Being told that you were stupid/useless and a 'f**king idiot'. Being shouted and screamed at because you did something wrong. Something like not putting your glass in the dishwasher 'properly'.
My physical appearance was constantly criticised and laughed at. I was a really skinny child and teenager (I'm still a size 6-8 today so it's just a naturally small frame, my grandmother and aunt were both small and slim too)) and had my parents roar and scream and shout at me at mealtimes and force me to eat it until I almost vomited food back up. As a teenager my mother constantly told me that I must be anorexic (I wasn't) I had horribly greasy hair as a teenager and no matter how often I washed it, it was greasy again 24 hours later. This was constantly commented on by both of my parents (particularly my mother) and I was told I was 'dirty' because of this and because of teenage spots.
I'm 41 now and hypercritical of my appearance, especially my hair. I'm never happy with it, and with lockdown etc, it's well overdue a cut. Anytime I try/put something on I always find a fault. That my stomach looks huge (which I was always told growing up) or that my non existent boobs (32B) look stupid in the top/dress/whatever.
I'm not in contact with either of my parents now. About 4 or 5 years ago, I tried to talk to my mother about all of it and she completely blew up at me, told me I was a liar and 'that didn't happen'. She has since sent me cards at Christmas or my birthday with basically the same message everytime, that she 'can't understand what's wrong' (with me) that they 'never did anything wrong' and that I need to 'sort all this mess out', because apparently everything (that didn't happen!) is all my fault.
I've seen her be a complete witch towards my aunt's (her sister) appearance too. Laughing at what she's wearing, sneering at how she looks and passing horrible comments about her hair/shoes/jewellery etc. There's only a year between them (my aunt is a year older) and my mother is under the impression that she looks 'amazing' for her age and that she could pass for her sister's daughter etc.
My poor old aunt is a real softie and would never talk about anyone like that, either to their face or behind their back which my mother also does a lot of.
I was very close to my other aunt (father's sister who has passed away now) and my mother was forever talking about her behind her back, running her down, sneering about her appearance and laughing and passing horrible comments about her clothes.
She's obviously a miserable and unhappy woman and presumably feels threatened by other women and feels that by running them down she's somehow 'winning' in her sad pathetic life.
After everything she's put me through though, it's hard for me to have any sympathy for her.
Apologies everyone, I didn't mean to go so off topic. I just feel sad that so many of us had to grow up with this kind of abuse
I grew up with parents who were both physically and mentally abusive. I actually think the mental abuse was worse. Being constantly put down and belittled. Being told that you were stupid/useless and a 'f**king idiot'. Being shouted and screamed at because you did something wrong. Something like not putting your glass in the dishwasher 'properly'.My physical appearance was constantly criticised and laughed at. I was a really skinny child and teenager (I'm still a size 6-8 today so it's just a naturally small frame, my grandmother and aunt were both small and slim too)) and had my parents roar and scream and shout at me at mealtimes and force me to eat it until I almost vomited food back up. As a teenager my mother constantly told me that I must be anorexic (I wasn't) I had horribly greasy hair as a teenager and no matter how often I washed it, it was greasy again 24 hours later. This was constantly commented on by both of my parents (particularly my mother) and I was told I was 'dirty' because of this and because of teenage spots.
I'm 41 now and hypercritical of my appearance, especially my hair. I'm never happy with it, and with lockdown etc, it's well overdue a cut. Anytime I try/put something on I always find a fault. That my stomach looks huge (which I was always told growing up) or that my non existent boobs (32B) look stupid in the top/dress/whatever.
I'm not in contact with either of my parents now. About 4 or 5 years ago, I tried to talk to my mother about all of it and she completely blew up at me, told me I was a liar and 'that didn't happen'. She has since sent me cards at Christmas or my birthday with basically the same message everytime, that she 'can't understand what's wrong' (with me) that they 'never did anything wrong' and that I need to 'sort all this mess out', because apparently everything (that didn't happen!) is all my fault.
I've seen her be a complete witch towards my aunt's (her sister) appearance too. Laughing at what she's wearing, sneering at how she looks and passing horrible comments about her hair/shoes/jewellery etc. There's only a year between them (my aunt is a year older) and my mother is under the impression that she looks 'amazing' for her age and that she could pass for her sister's daughter etc.
My poor old aunt is a real softie and would never talk about anyone like that, either to their face or behind their back which my mother also does a lot of.
I was very close to my other aunt (father's sister who has passed away now) and my mother was forever talking about her behind her back, running her down, sneering about her appearance and laughing and passing horrible comments about her clothes.
She's obviously a miserable and unhappy woman and presumably feels threatened by other women and feels that by running them down she's somehow 'winning' in her sad pathetic life.
After everything she's put me through though, it's hard for me to have any sympathy for her.
Apologies everyone, I didn't mean to go so off topic. I just feel sad that so many of us had to grow up with this kind of abuse
Another one with the toxic mother plus enabling father. After nearly 2 yrs of very low contact and much happier mental health, father has suffered heart attack.
Husband has used this an excuse to turn full on flying monkey
ETA is there a toxic family thread on the site?
Husband has used this an excuse to turn full on flying monkey
ETA is there a toxic family thread on the site?
I'm not sure, but if there isn't then there definitely should be.Another one with the toxic mother plus enabling father. After nearly 2 yrs of very low contact and much happier mental health, father has suffered heart attack.
Husband has used this an excuse to turn full on flying monkey
ETA is there a toxic family thread on the site?
Another one with the toxic mother plus enabling father. After nearly 2 yrs of very low contact and much happier mental health, father has suffered heart attack.
Husband has used this an excuse to turn full on flying monkey
ETA is there a toxic family thread on the site?
There is. It’s in the Advice section
Can we get back to Celeb gossip?
Yes please. So sorry to read all the difficult stories but maybe take them to a different thread moving forwards?
My mothers constantly harped on about my size for as long as I can remember
Even when I was eight stone in my teens
She’s a skinny thing doesn’t eat proper meals but now sucks on vapes all day after smoking cigs to suppress her appetite for all of her life
I’ve been between a 12-14 size for most of my adult life
Since January been on a fitness kick and lost 2 stone
I have seen her since January but she’s too self absorbed in herself to take any notice
Invited her round to the garden last week, nice day, so no coat
She insisted after telling me in front of other members of my family
YOU LOOK FABULOUS
Then came on the onslaught
There’s no way you’ve done that yourself with exercise, you’ve had a gastric band, oh and an eating disorder
And then made some joke that maybe my husband would maybe fancy me again ( like he didn’t anyway? And didn’t give her any reason to think he didn’t)
But YOU LOOK FABULOUS
But it was probably best you did get a Gastric band as you were SO FAT
And on and on for four hours in front of my auntie and uncle for the first get together since October last year
Then proceeded to send me text messages when she got home
If you haven’t had a gastric band are you ill because there’s no way you’ve lost that weight via exercise
It’s relentless
I have lost weight, cycling on an exercise for hours each week in lockdown and cutting calories, which has been hard work but done it because I wanted to do it, for me
I’m nearly 50
They don’t stop being cunts to you
All my life been the same
Even when I was eight stone in my teens
She’s a skinny thing doesn’t eat proper meals but now sucks on vapes all day after smoking cigs to suppress her appetite for all of her life
I’ve been between a 12-14 size for most of my adult life
Since January been on a fitness kick and lost 2 stone
I have seen her since January but she’s too self absorbed in herself to take any notice
Invited her round to the garden last week, nice day, so no coat
She insisted after telling me in front of other members of my family
YOU LOOK FABULOUS
Then came on the onslaught
There’s no way you’ve done that yourself with exercise, you’ve had a gastric band, oh and an eating disorder
And then made some joke that maybe my husband would maybe fancy me again ( like he didn’t anyway? And didn’t give her any reason to think he didn’t)
But YOU LOOK FABULOUS
But it was probably best you did get a Gastric band as you were SO FAT
And on and on for four hours in front of my auntie and uncle for the first get together since October last year
Then proceeded to send me text messages when she got home
If you haven’t had a gastric band are you ill because there’s no way you’ve lost that weight via exercise
It’s relentless
I have lost weight, cycling on an exercise for hours each week in lockdown and cutting calories, which has been hard work but done it because I wanted to do it, for me
I’m nearly 50
They don’t stop being cunts to you
All my life been the same
That's heartbreaking, congrats on your achievement! Well done.
I'm moving over to the toxic parents/ family thread.
Any more celeb gossip?
In light of the Bafta's tonight, does anyone have any goss on Pedro Pascal? I've loved him since game of thrones and narcos but there seems to be next to no information on his personal life. I'm fairly certain he's gay but obviously not publicly.
And
ETA...I missed earlier posts saying same
There isAnother one with the toxic mother plus enabling father. After nearly 2 yrs of very low contact and much happier mental health, father has suffered heart attack.
Husband has used this an excuse to turn full on flying monkey
ETA is there a toxic family thread on the site?
Narcissistic and Toxic parents.
Anyone have these? How did you or do you deal with them?
tattle.life
ETA...I missed earlier posts saying same
I worked on GoT but never on location with him, heard good things from colleagues who worked with him though, polite, professional and not a dick.
TH IS ON BBC 1 can’t quite look at him the same way.
I had to watch We Can Be Heroes for the 100th time today with my son, it’s so cringey but Pedro Pascal makes it easier. Would love some gossip on him too as would like to put him on my laminated list need to make sure it’s not a wasted slot.
It's hard to find any celeb gossip that doesn't involve the royal family, the Duke's funeral, Harry and Meghan, pweirdo Prince Andrew, and of course the tragic death of Nikki Graham.
Surely somebody somewhere has some juicy tea to spill?
Has Amanda Holden been photographed putting out the bins in a negligee and heels?
Has Simon Cowell been taking yet another stroll for the paparazzi?
I even went to Digital Spy but their showbiz section is now read only so nothing to see there either
Surely somebody somewhere has some juicy tea to spill?
Has Amanda Holden been photographed putting out the bins in a negligee and heels?
Has Simon Cowell been taking yet another stroll for the paparazzi?
I even went to Digital Spy but their showbiz section is now read only so nothing to see there either
This is nice to hear
He comes across as a lovely guy, I'm glad to see him doing so well later on in his career- Status