Secret Celeb Gossip #44

[Prince fan 1999]

Poor poor Nikki I can’t stop thinking about her the mental health fallout from covid is going to be huge.

Me too. Think it's bit me more than PP death Poor Pete. I hope someone is looking after him

Me too. Think it's bit me more than PP death Poor Pete. I hope someone is looking after him

*Hit not bit

 

[Big Red Dog]

Tragic for quite a young woman.

 

[Sazbee]

Me too. Think it's bit me more than PP death Poor Pete. I hope someone is looking after him


*Hit not bit

Me too. PP had lived a long life and I think people were sort of expecting it in the near future. Nikki’s is different. I think most people were expecting her to get better after all the money was raised for her treatment but it was all just too late.

 

[leviosa]

Me too. PP had lived a long life and I think people were sort of expecting it in the near future. Nikki’s is different. I think most people were expecting her to get better after all the money was raised for her treatment but it was all just too late.

I agree. I think we all expected her to go to a clinic and somehow get better but it wasn't to be. It's so cruel that this disease is still stealing peoples' health and lives.

 

[Red hair dont care]

I do actually envy some girls who have a great relationship with their Mum. I've never had this. Mainly because she told me pretty young I was never wanted. So hearing that never gives you a good thought about your mother. I have older siblings and 1 is the golden child. But now she relies on 2 of us. But slags us off to the others. It does get you down but learned to tolerate it. But yesterday I got fed up of it and snapped. She needs to understand her harsh words hurt and I needed to say it. Today back to nothing happened. Same old.

 

[RedMagnolia]

My own mum is non-judgemental and compassionate, but her own mother, my grandma, was quite poisonous.

She labelled me 'the pretty one' and my sister 'the plain one.' She referred to people with very average body shapes as being 'pleasantly plump' and judged every woman she met on her appearance.

She was one of those attention-seeking ladies who always wanted people to tell her how old they thought she was, because someone once told her she looked much younger than she actually was.

She used to say 'it's a curse being blessed with beauty' when referring to herself. Me and my sister always used to look at each other and secretly giggle, because to us, she was a wrinkled old lady with a blue rinse, who looked like Phyllis off Coronation Street

RIP Nikki Grahame, I hope your death will increase awareness of eating disorders and the need for early intervention and treatment.

 

[leviosa]

My own mum is non-judgemental and compassionate, but her own mother, my grandma, was quite poisonous.

She labelled me 'the pretty one' and my sister 'the plain one.' She referred to people with very average body shapes as being 'pleasantly plump' and judged every woman she met on her appearance.

She was one of those attention-seeking ladies who always wanted people to tell her how old they thought she was, because someone once told her she looked much younger than she actually was.

She used to say 'it's a curse being blessed with beauty' when referring to herself. Me and my sister always used to look at each other and secretly giggle, because to us, she was a wrinkled old lady with a blue rinse, who looked like Phyllis off Coronation Street

RIP Nikki Grahame, I hope your death will increase awareness of eating disorders and the need for early intervention and treatment.

My grandmother was very vocal on how I wasn't her real grandchild (adopted) and my mother often introduced me to people as her adopted daughter. Since my dad (who I adored) died we have fallen out because I dared to confront her drinking herself to death and we haven't spoken in a few years now.

It makes you wonder which celebs have poisonous mothers. I believe Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Aniston in particular didn't have great mothers.

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Mothers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are very common sadly.

 

[Greenoranges]

Mothers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are very common sadly.

This is my mother, tells me to this day that I'm gaining weight (but it's something that I get from my dad's side of the family not hers is what she says) along with how awful my natural hair and eyebrows are (I happen to think they look rather nice) and when she does compliment me it's in the past tense kinda along the lines of "you used to be so nice" or "you used to have a great figure" kinda thing, so fair to say we've a strained relationship but of course with her selective memory when you bring it up it's dismissed as "banter" and that "I can't take a joke"
Hang in their ladies sending love to you all

 

[PantisShatis]

People talk about the unhealthy relationships they have with their mothers around food and weight. For me it was the opposite, my dad made comments about my weight all through my life.
I’ve naturally been slim(not now I’m 35) but through my early years, teens and 20s.
I can remember him telling me I was too skinny, I ate like a bird, making me stay at the table until my dinner was finished even if I was gagging.
When I think about it now I just can’t understand how someone can be so cruel. I’m pregnant with my first child, a daughter and I’ll do everything I can to protect her from ever feeling like I did.

 

[NextLoisLane]

My grandmother was very vocal on how I wasn't her real grandchild (adopted) and my mother often introduced me to people as her adopted daughter. Since my dad (who I adored) died we have fallen out because I dared to confront her drinking herself to death and we haven't spoken in a few years now.

It makes you wonder which celebs have poisonous mothers. I believe Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Aniston in particular didn't have great mothers.

Demi Moore, Meg Ryan also.

I had similar, i make sure I don't talk about appearance etc., but also emphasise/celebrate other things e.g. intelligence, kindness (but not doormattery!) , trying their best etc., a favourite phrase "its not what they think of you, its what you think of them" etc. Just generally try to build quiet confidence, resilience.
A good phrase i like, nicked off Pinterest or somewhere:

'Be the person you needed when you were growing up.'

to all growing up with *those* parents.

 

[Clojo92]

It’s something called ‘the mother wound’. It’s handed down generations and the people who actively do the work to stop this from being passed on are tough, amazing women!

I too suffered with the mother wound. I was told at 12 that I would never be ‘skinny’ when my hips started to get wider and puberty hit. I was genuinely sick and vomiting and was asked if I was making myself sick. Constant comments on clothes, make up, hair etc. It never ended. I moved far away from her and have very limited contact as that is what helps for me.

 

[Debtex]

My mother was like that as well. I wonder whether we are all of a certain age, so have mothers caught between the 1950's and 60's housewives as standards and all the 70's equality legislation, so basically the aim of a woman was to find a husband. I remember my mother also going on and on about my weight ( I was a size 10 for most of my 20's) my hair, my makeup etc etc because the main aim was to find a husband. (not that that doesnt happen now!)Even now, I have more and better qualifications than my brother and was before I had children a higher earner than he was, but she barely knows what my job is. She's always telling me how much my brother earns!

My mother too . I was a punky young girl , short spiky hair etc . I was constantly criticised by my mother for not wearing a nice dress etc . All it did was cause lots of friction , upset and arguments that were unnecessary and made life a living hell .I left home as soon as I could and probably before I was ready to in order to escape . To this day I am touchy about how I look and have worked hard not to repeat the pattern with my own daughter

 

[Red hair dont care]

Thanks everyone. So many have the same issue, if that's the right word. Not to go Beyonce on you, but maybe it makes us stronger. Still hard to hear but we fight on. to you all x

 

[Debtex]

my mums fav “I’ve seen you in nicer” cheers Mum

If I changed my hairstyle my late mother in law lwould say ‘ oh it’s lovely love - I NEVER liked it how you had it before ‘ !! Long running joke between myself and my husband .

 

[Peterboroughmum]

Me too. Much happier children was the result.

I have a friend who is constantly weighing her children. She asked my children's weight and I said I hadn't weighed them for ages but they were growing and healthy so didn't feel the need to (both under 5). Nothing wrong with making sure they are a healthy weight but she does it constantly. She's overweight herself and has massive food issues but she doesn't seem to realise her behaviour is obessive :/

 

[FrostyChops]

Well done to the ladies who had the emotional intelligence to recognise the negativity in their mother daughter relationships and the fortitude to make it better for their own children.

 

[Vanillaco]

I wonder if it's something to do with the way society pits women against each other that women then have to try and make their daughters compete with other women as a kind of default? Theres so much more emphasis on women competing for a man, one woman being better looking than another woman etc that it feeds into mother/daughter relationships?

 

[Notredamn]

another one with a toxic, misogynistic mother. I had my first child young and she told me she would pay me if I could fit back into my old jeans. I found a way- it was the beginning of a lifelong (for me, I hope other can recover) eating disorder. I think mothers like mine are projecting and are jealous of their own daughters' looks and youth. Thankfully I'm not the same way inclined so I'm doing a much better job of raising my own kids.
My mother isn't anything to aspire to, if she makes rare comments now I just laugh and say 'that's the seal of approval then, as I'm not aiming to look or dress like you! Hahaha'

 

[silkytoes]

I'm so sad to read that so many women had mothers like mine but happy to hear that you're changing things for your own children.

From my own mum, it came from a place of worry I think because she was an overweight child and young adult who had been bullied for it and made to feel terrible about herself and she could see I was a chubby child so she would obsessively comment on my weight to prevent me going through the same. She works very hard to stay slim as an adult. It frustrates me now looking back as she was the one feeding me so how was negatively commenting the right way to go? My dad has no excuse, he's a bully and a misogynist and made my mum feel even worse about her own weight. I wish he'd have let us both feel happy and comfortable to eat!

All the nastiness and comments really backfired because as soon as I moved out, I really rebelled and just ate anything and everything I wanted so i've spent most of my 20s very overweight. I have a really unhealthy relationship with food, I wish they'd properly taught me to think of healthy food positively instead of as a punishment for eating too much of the things they normally fed me!