FIRST TIME ICE SKATING WITH THE KIDS VLOG RECRAP
Anna opens the vlog and tells us she's showing us her morning routine. She starts with
emptying the dishwasher while Andrea watches. Next step is
putting away the cutlery. Then
the cups. No
tit she's captioned each action in case someone's totally inept and needs CC because they can't figure out that she's putting a mug in a cupboard. Somewhere in the background Andrea is inspecting the wine fridge! LOL. Okay, next caption -
putting away baking baking utensils. Yes, J's mistake, not mine. Baking baking! If you're gonna caption that
tit, why don't you proofread it?
Putting away kids bowls. It's kids', Mr. IQ of 130!
Feeding six dogs. I swear more care goes into preparing the dog food - she's stirring each dog bowl and calls each dog by name when the bowl is delivered to the dogs. Next caption:
putting away lunch boxes. More kids cutlery. Next step:
packing dishwasher. Anna is moving at a snail's pace and I'm about to pass out from boredom, but I'm taking one for the team, I love you guys. Washing the kids placemats boards. Washing the dog bowls. OMG I'm just realising this happening in almost real time. This is so horrible. Next we've got
rescuing Andrea (he wandered off of course).
Cleaning the sink. Andrea is crying and screaming in the background. Anna is tending to the sink. Oh thank
duck it's over. Five minutes of my life I'll never get back. It really wasn't a morning routine you moron, I just watched someone unload a dishwasher. If that's her entire routine, I'm not surprised she loses her
tit when she has to do one extra task.
Anyway, they are off to London for ice skating. They were invited by LOL dolls and we never get an explanation why Alessia wasn't allowed to come. I mean, we know she's a second class child that gets benched whenever possible, but why doesn't Jonathan tell his loyal minions? On the upside, the As will have a better time in someone else's care. Olivia, who I will refer to as Botox Kid from now on is in the video A TON. And the other little girl. Jonathan pays way more attention to Botox Kid than he does to his own children. He's always filming her. She's absolutely beautiful, the friendliest friends might enjoy. At the event, there's a ball pit, they design donuts and finally they go skating. The mean toddler would've loved all of that. JESUS STOP FILMING BOTOX KID WOULD YOU. That girl doesn't even know she's shown to the world, I don't think children can really grasp that and if they aren't Youtube Babies they probably have no idea. Emilia is out of view but he shoves the camera in Botox Kid's face anyway. None of them can skate and the witch is fussier than the kids about it.
Afterwards, they are all at Five Guys... and the one thing I take away from this: the two botox siblings both eat the healthy burger, where you get it wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun. The SJs get given fries of course. When they leave, Anna says she's pregnant with a milkshake. Alright then. On the train ride home, Botox Kid is the star of the show once again. She can sing. Yeah. That's gonna be a treat for the friendliest friends.
Back at the house, Jonathan is lying on the floor and all the kids are literally on top of him and each other. Everyone's tumbling around. Anna is filming Andrea opening a drawer. She's saying "he's gonna slam his fingers in a minute..." So instead of putting the camera down she just laughs.
OMG. Okay. I have to quote Anna - she claims she's never told that story before: the other day when I was alone with Andrea I handed him three barbies that were left over by the other kids. He looked at them like... and then she makes a face. "He was just not interested and then he ran off and went into the cars". Sorry witch, we've heard that already. Like a month ago. What is new information is that Andrea takes tupperware containers in the kitchen and pretends they are cars. "He is a very different child from to I used to...let's just say that..." And she doesn't look happy. Obviously.
Anna calls dibs on putting the boys to bed (apparently the easier option). Emilia wants to play...and Alessia wants a story read. I love her.
End of the vlog rant: Jonathan says he can't ice skate and wishes he could. Dude, give Chris Ingham a call, I bet he'll teach you. He might be well excited to have a skating buddy his own age. Anyway, Jonathan then tells us that he went to school with Brian McFadden from
Westlife who was really good at ice skating.. he claims Brian invited him to go ice skating....but Jonathan sucked and Brian was seriously good... and because Jonathan wasn't any good "that's how I knew I wasn't going to be friends with Brian McFadden." WTF.
One more reference to the mysterious trip - it starts tomorrow and he has figured a way to upload a few things.
see those little dots where the lines start?
That's gotta be the Botox injection sites?