Ruby Granger #30 A warm milky mug of applestoodle tea

[vwxyz]

Just watched Marfa's video too and got the feeling that she one day will be more successful than Ruby. She dropped out of uni and doesn't seem to have a clear idea about what she wants to do. But she is the kind of person that moves forward, not backward. She will always try things until she finds what she likes because she's more open, more socially intelligent and more independent. Ruby will be jealous of her in a few years.

 

[Confidant]

I’m sorry, but no. Stop wishing the year away. Time moves fast enough as it is without wishing Autumn upon us when August has only just begun. Besides, forecasters are predicting another 35°+ heatwave in August so you can pack away your woolly jumpers for another few months yet.

 

[judgingyourlife]

Daddy Bones looking fit here

 

[CatCafe234]

Telling u right now by the end of this gap year she’s gonna pull a Bertha Mason, it’s only a matter of time before the candles go rogue
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‘Taking the candle, it retreated to the door’ should be the next thread title.

 

[gossip_guy]

Ok, you guys. Remember when I said a certain outfit was her worst one to date? I've changed my mind... THIS is the worst outfit she's worn to date, despite me actually liking that jumper (in July?!).

It looks terrible, but I guess at least she didn't wear it out in public or anything.

Oh.

Welp.

She wore this to a day at the beach.

She ditched the Chelsea boots for school shoes and I don't know if it makes it better or worse.

Also RIP that treasured sweater of her mum's. It survived 30 years after her mum wore it the day she met Ruby's dad, and guaranteed it won't survive 48 hours with Ruby considering how she treats all her possessions. But at least she has a new comfort blanket for the 5 minutes a month she's away from mummy and daddy.

 

[gossip_guy]

"Botterbryoo by Bard 'n' Bland."

"Books that encapsulate that ASSence of sommah VARRY WAL."

Her camera conveniently "runs out of charge" only to magically work immediately after she claims to have eaten 2 and a bit biscuits, so those clearly just got tossed out the window.

"I'm disappointed with Sherwood Anderson's writing because he only writes about men," Ruby says, having just started on her latest first-and-last draft mess of a book about a world populated entirely by privileged white girls aged 11-16.

So...she was disappointed by the book, but dreams of reading it for the first time? So that, what, she can be disappointed by it all over again? What fresh madness is going on in her brain?

She clearly saw other people over the past few years making "Books I wish I could read again for the first time" videos, then filtered the title through her usual sentence-mangling syntax in a try-hard attempt sound smart. In the process, she looks especially dumb even for her. These books appear barely related to summer and Ruby very obviously either hasn't read them or didn't like them when she skimmed through them.

Ruby has nothing to say about Anderson's book aside from how "languid" and "provincial" it is - two of her favourite words to overuse at every opportunity - and then rambles nonsensically as she massively overanalyses YA book We Were Liars. I'd wager that's the only one she actually read (or skimmed) a lot off, and even then it was clearly just to strip-mine ideas for her own YA book. But even as she drones on endlessly about how E. Lockhart has an innovative writing style (because it's apparently the first time Ruby has ever seen a book experiment even slightly with form and structure), she never once explains the basic plot or how it's supposedly intrinsically a book about summer. There's not even an elevator pitch plot blurb for this book recommendation.

Call Me By Your Name - "I feel loikye AVVERYONE is talking about this book, THIS SOMMAR IN PARTICULAR."

(Checks calendar.) Nope, definitely not 2019 again. Just checking.

This is her 428th time trying to convince people that she's read Call Me By Your name after 2 years of unsuccessful and unbelievable attempts. This is the first time she's realised there's sex in the book. And she clearly only realised that because she got called out on YouTube for clearly having never read the peach scene or any other part of the book when she was desperately trying to use the book as a prop for her romanticised "aesthetic" trip to Italy.

And then she just recites all her lecture handouts and Blakeney's notes about Memoirs of a Fox-Hunting Man and I gave up.

God, she's just insufferable to listen to.

Find someone who looks at you the way Ruby looks at the fires she starts.

And why in the illiterate, dusty fuck have her dirty sheets gone unchanged and unmoved for several months? What a grimy little goblin.

 

[gossip_guy]

call an ambulance

If you drank with every jump cut, you'd be dead before you could dial.

I'd add:

• Drink whenever there's a shot of her grimy windowsill (drink twice if you spot a dead insect there).
• Drink when you see the Waterstones logo.
• Drink every time she positions her camera and leaves it unattended just to film herself walking somewhere.
• Drink every time you hear "Dance of the Little Swans" played.
• Drink every time she claims to "AHWLWHEYS" do something she never does.
• Drink whenever she claims to do something improbable or out-of-character (like eating a substantial meal), but there's no footage of it.
• Drink whenever she says "AND THAN..."
• Drink every time she pensively says "WE tend tyoo [insert bizarre habit, narrow-minded opinion or detached-from-reality life view that nobody but Ruby shares]".
• Drink anytime you can see her exposed mattress.
• Drink every time she has a clock on-screen.
• Drink every time she mentions "lattah wroiyting".
• Drink any time she grimaces at the camera to show how happy she isn't.
• Drink any time she angrily bares her teeth to take a pained, tiny bite of something before instantly cutting away.
• Drink any time she does a head-shaking "dramatic reading" that nobody asked for:

• Drink whenever she tries to chew a liquid:

 

[Scapier88]

Are you ok?? I think you said you had covid and maybe some other illness the other day??

Thank you all for your kind words
It was Mr scapier with covid and small human with chicken pox luckily I avoided it all
She's three weeks early but a very healthy 7lb6
As for me well I'm sore but living on baby love at the moment

 

[Satisfying Click]

I think Ruby's parents (well, mum at least) are enabling her and I don't blame Martha for moving out elsewhere. I mean, drone footage of Ruby sauntering around in the garden like a Victorian waif, filming her as she lapses into this childhood fantasy - no doubt that would have an effect on the other sibling who probably rolls their eyes every time they see Ruby and her fake accent.

I think Martha seemed genuinely hurt about Ruby's graduation. I know most places offer limited tickets (I don't know what Axater is like, but the places I graduated from released any spare additional tickets at a later date) and the natural thing to do is to bring your parents first, but if you're used to being sidelined like Martha is for the golden academic wonderchild, then I can see how Martha would feel upset. She always seems to buy Ruby thoughtful gifts whereas Ruby would probably give Martha leftover pumpkin stock and musty tea bags.

 

[SharyBobbins]

It is not Autumn or pre-Autumn in the English countryside no matter how much Ruby might wish it were. There are wildfires popping up. Rivers are running dry. Birds are struggling to find food and water. Crops are ruined. It is summer, completely and utterly and unrelentingly summer.

So tone deaf.

 

[emmer_moans]

My current mood: Deer brooch turned 90 degrees.

 

[xoxoxo13]

'because of the economic crisis x' that feels so fucking condescending

 

[Griftwood]

I mean I want to give her a little bit of credit for being slightly open about the fact that her mental health is poor atm. It’s bound to happen when something you’ve made your entire identity has been taken away from you and the only plan you have to replace that identity is utter bs, and you’re possibly just starting to realize how badly you’ve shot yourself in the foot

 

[slamvs27]

i'm so so confused at the new video. What the hell is "pre-autumn"? What is "4k"?

Why is her hair so tangled and dirty? Why is she barefoot and why are her feet shaped like that? Is she cosplaying one of the hobbits??

 

[zoeanned]

Also at the end where she admitted to feeling embarrassed about the fact she was taking a year out to write?? Like yeah you should be, you’re basically regressing to childhood in your childhood bedroom

 

[karpusha]

If she does the claw again, I'm calling the police, seriously. I simply can't stand when she does it.

 

[rubysdeadfly]

Also “they say autumn has come early this year” who’s they girl boss? Because we’ve had a record breaking summer

 

[anastasia1989]

I'm sorry but that filthy coffee machine in her tiktok has pushed me over the edge and I have to comment here. I can't believe she thought that would be an acceptable standard of cleanliness for an "aesthetic" coffee making video. Surely you'd give it a wipe down before filming it for thousands of people to see?! The baking tray she used for shortbread in her latest video also appears to be caked in grime, like actual three dimensional filth, not just discolouration. She seems like such an unhygienic person. Imagine rolling around in the dirt, barefoot, wearing your nightie, then climbing straight into bed.

 

[gossip_guy]

She has blessed us with another piece of writing

Roobee, playing the oddest game of chess ever:

View attachment 1449998

And, of course, waxing LyRiCaL about it. The “castle” is the chess piece known to the rest of us as “rook”. Grey is the color that’s neither black nor white, but something in between. The pieces on the board can apparently move wherever they please, because chess is completely random and has no rules whatsoever.

View attachment 1450006

also, I have just spent the morning going through all my papers (just one box, thanks to KonMari a few years back) and found all my own writings from my early 20s. I cringed briefly and binned everything

Me and my daddy played chass. I like the prawns because they are the smallest ones, syo I only play with thyose.

The whather was varry grey - syo grey that I could not tell what time of day it was, even thyough I could clearly see mountains and the purple haze of sunset. Whather is varry confusing. Syo is time. It can go in all directions, like when daddy myoves his castle all around the chass board.

"WHAT DYO YOU MEAN TIME ONLY GYOES IN ONE DIRECTION DADDY?!" I screamed. "I WANT TO GO BACK! IT'S NOT FAAAIR!"

Daddy sighed and continued to myove his castle around the chass board absent-mindedly, wondering where it all went wrong.

 

[secretalphabets]

Oh Connie Glynns books are famous in Germany too, a friend of mine read them when they were published and neither her nor me had ever heard of her youtube

I just googled them and the protagonist is called LOTTIE PUMPKIN, what are the chances??