Oh, great, another routine video with another sponsored ad for something she never uses.
"I've spoken about Karma so, so much!*" *...in sponsored videos only.
"I use the Karma app guys, genuinely!" Her new favourite thing is saying "genuinely" a lot when she's lying.
"I will
ALWAYS use it to make sure I get the best deal." If she says she "ALWAYS" does something, it's a dead giveaway that she never does it.
"I installed it on all my family member's computers!" Because adding
crappy extentions, viruses and spyware and god knows what else without their permission is always a fun idea.
STERN POINT
"Ten pre-cent off! Ten pre-cent off!" She's like a malfunctioning robot car salesperson.
"Po-tan-shally."
STERN POINT AGAIN
"
GENUINELY!"
The reason for Ruby's sudden decision to start cycling to campus is revealed: It's because Blakeney does it. And Blakeney probably only started doing it to get away from Ruby for twenty precious minutes a day until Ruby had her parents drive her bike all the way to AXE-eter so she could do it, too.
"And we're always so cold after the bike ride," Ruby says, as if she and Blakeney share a hive mind and it's not just Ruby's eating disorder making her cold all the time.
"So, it's deadline season, which is why the kitchen is an absolute state." It must have been deadline season in Ruby's family home every day for several years then.
Things that "Deadline Season" doesn't prevent:
Weekly trips home.
Daily trips to touch every single book in Waterstones.
Spending an entire day making Christmas cards, then deciding not to use them.
14 hours a day of redundant busywork.
Things that "Deadline Season" prevents:
Cleaning.
Returning stolen money to charities.
Ruby moans at Blakeney for panning across the mess littering their kitchen while filming in case people think they live in squalor. Yet she still thought it was a good idea to film, edit and upload a video showing the place looking like a shithole, and hasn't hesitated to proudly show the disgusting swamp that is her family kitchen all the time.
Bike lights and lock that you need every day at uni when cycling to campus? Better not keep those in a location that's even remotely convenient or near to your bike. The bottom of a sock drawer is a much better location!
Electric lamp? Not aesthetic or nearly dangerous enough. Candles lit by super sustainable gas lighter and perilously close to flammable materials? Now we're talking. Ruby doesn't feel alive anymore unless something could catch fire at a moment's notice!
And then Ruby just puts the main lights on anyway.
CreeperCam.
Ruby eats a tiny fraction of fruit and half a Perkier bar. "Perkier bars are honestly so amazing," she says. And it's a gifted product that she's been sent before, but she doesn't declare this.
Then it's time to skip to what's likely a different day, where Ruby does all the dishes and goes to a yoga class. This is supposed to be a routine, so Ruby implies that she does this every day, which definitely isn't true.
Their cleaning solution is apparently to just dump all dirt, filth, food remnants and whatnot directly onto the ground and hope the carpet absorbs it all. It's not working so far, but that could change any day now.
Ruby sets up a camera on a wall to record herself walking like a moron, then looks like she's panicking because someone rides by.
"I don't always do this," she says as she goes to Waitrose - expensive supermarket of choice for Tories - to get a Kombucha. If Ruby says she doesn't always do something, it's a dead giveaway that she always does it. Besides, Ruby, this is a
routine video. It's
supposed to be things you always do.
She sets her camera on a random shelf and films herself putting the Kombucha bottle on the shelf only to pick it up again. Then later shows a shot of herself picking it up again.
CreeperCam 2: The Creepening.
Ruby shows a rare meal that looks slightly more substantial than her usual porridge and dust medley. Of course this was made by Blakeney, and apparently the only way to get anything resembling actual food on Ruby’s plate is to ambush her with it by making surprise, unscheduled meals. There's still no evidence that Ruby actually ate any of it though.
Ruby rushes to do the dishes, presumably to avoid eating. Her washing up technique consists of giving each item a quick, sporadic blast of cold water and dumping it on the rack. No dish soap, no sponge, no scourer, no cleaning. Just a quick, glancing blast on two opposite corners and she's done. Filth and bacteria has a permanent, rent-free home on all those dishes.
After defrosting a wheatgrass shot, which will probably be her entire breakfast, and drinking her Kombucha, Ruby takes out her contacts because she's getting a headache. And it's definitely the contacts and not severe malnutrition.
She decides to do some uni "work". Now, she claims she's doing "critical reading and research bits" and started work on a play she was going to read for her Life and Death module. Only, the thing about recording your screen is that people can see what you're doing.
Ruby shows herself Googling a plot summary for the play she hasn't even read yet, and starts copying entire chunks of it into Notion to make her own summary.
Why would anyone do this, or start reading critical material before the play itself, you might ask? They wouldn't. Not if they were going to read the play. But Ruby does this for every assignment. It's yet another assigned text that she will not read, and this is just a cheating shortcut to avoid reading the play.
Ruby lies and says her "car-tuns" are so big that she can't close them without climbing on the desk, even though the back of her desk and those big
bleeping drapey things that people call
curtains are in arm's reach.
Ruby then rambles about face masks for far too long. "I never use face masks, but I always feel
so relaxed after doing it," she says, contradicting herself immediately because her brain is malourished sludge at this point. That's like saying, "I never steal from charities, but I always feel
so much better every time I see the charity money I stole in my bank."
Apparently it's too common for people to use face masks as "performative" self-care. Ruby says this with zero self-awareness. Her entire life is a series of performative lies and affectations, but it's other people that use face masks that are wrong.
She rambles more complete drivel about how her face mask treatment is a preventative measure to keep herself from getting burned out and getting overwhelmed by deadline stress.
What apparently
isn't an option to keeping from getting overwhelmed with work is actually doing the reading, cutting out all the endless busywork that eats up most of her time, or stopping running back home every few days so that she has more time in a week to stay on top of the relatively small amount of work she actually has. Note how she also doesn't recommend a full, nutritious diet of actual food as a preventative measure to stay healthy and alert.
Ruby butts in from another day entirely to spout some nonsense about a daily "jah-nel" she does. It's mostly incomprehensible.
"Re-FLACK-shuns".
"Something
tangible I learnt in a lack-churr."
STERN POINT.
"
MY HOUSE IS COLD."
Back in the past, she sets some more fires, which will definitely go down well considering her pillowy duvet cover is already draped against the bedside table, ready to touch the open flame with the slightest adjustment.
Ruby pretends to read YA book Truly Devious, but says she doesn't like it because it might be a bit too young for her. Reminder: The only books that Ruby has actually read to completion over the past few year have been children's books with a max page count of 40 and a recommended reading age of 3.
"
YASS, after that, I will just turn off the light."
Ruby’s room with the light off apparently, which is somehow still brighter than the sun itself.
![Unsure :unsure: :unsure:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)