It’s nothing got to do with me though is it? I can’t prevent that happening.
The same as Jimmy’s mother can’t stop him robbing from a shop, of franks sister can’t stop him for fraud?
Just coz I’m talking to someone doesn’t put their faults on me
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The same as Jimmy’s mother can’t stop him robbing from a shop, of franks sister can’t stop him for fraud?
Just coz I’m talking to someone doesn’t put their faults on me
That was me, I’ve been a Probation Officer for 6 years so haven’t based my opinion on nothing. While I accept that you can’t change everyone, the person that I originally quoted seemed to have no like or hope for any offenders she worked with me and in my opinion that’s wrong. I’m not saying everyone has been wronged however the majority of the service users I work with have had a hard start in life and have made poor decisions.There’s very few that I have worked with that I think are just plain evil and shouldn’t be given another chance.
I didn't say you'd based it on nothing. I was a probation officer for 5 years (that was enough for me). I didn't say they were plain evil and shouldnt be given another chance but a large number like offending (doesn't make them evil) or found it incredibly difficult due to institutionalisation.
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My boyfriend and I was watching a series on Netflix about people on death row and he was so shocked when I told him people write to them. I'm the same as you (maybe more naive) to believe some people shouldn't be in prison for whatever reason so writing to the would be nice and may help them. But then those genuine cases are probably few and far between and there's not really any way of knowing is there? I can't say it's something I'd do because I would 100000% get sucked in because I give people the benifit of doubt which isn't good with this sort of situation!
Surely the prison don't give them your address though?!?
I think I will look in to writing to someone in care though, I work for the local authority and often spend too much time on jobs where you know they are just lonely and want a chat!
Surely the prison don't give them your address though?!?
I think I will look in to writing to someone in care though, I work for the local authority and often spend too much time on jobs where you know they are just lonely and want a chat!
oh it’s for sure not your fault (if you were in this position)
But you offered them friendship when they should have been repenting for what they’d done.
I just wonder how you would feel knowing you not only offered them friendship you sought them out to offer it,
knowing that they’d had a negative impact on someone else’s life and might do so again
A few thoughts. Most people who are in prison for lesser offences, certainly in the UK, will be in for a relatively short time and will likely have plenty of support from family and friends. They won't be the ones wanting penpals. The ones wanting penpals and I would expect the men would want female penpals, will be the ones lacking family support. These will, in the majority of cases, be those who have committed the worst of crimes. Ditto people in and out of prison for most of their life.
It's also worth considering their motives too.
I'm not saying that there aren't people in prison who stole nappies for babies, or were forced into gangs and into committing horrible crimes against their will. There are some sad stories. But these people won't be seeking comfort from someone thousands of miles away.
I don't know if you like Louis Theroux? Watch his prison documentaries. It's astonishing how charismatic some of the prisoners are. In the Miami one there's a young man with glasses who Louis and everyone watching felt so sorry for. He looked so out of place in the really horrible and violent prison. It turned out he tried to kill his girlfriend and her friend. He shot them. He then announced he was going to plead insanity. There was nothing insane about him. Despite this, I still felt sorry for him.
The San Quentin episode is incredible too. There's a guy given 521 years plus 11 life sentences who seems really nice. He'd been in and out of prison since he was 11. I didn't find him remotely scary. He'd tortured people and when Louis asked if there were any fatalities, he said no, but some people probably wished they were dead, obviously because the torture was so horrific. But I actually liked him. It sounds completely mad as I have a background in law and Social Sciences, so I know the score with people who offend. But I still liked him.
All I'm saying is be very careful. Do not provide anything that could identify you. If you send photos, it's highly likely it will be shared with other prisoners and I am sorry to be brutally frank, but they will not be commenting on how blue really suits you. Many prisoners have access to the internet, either directly or with the assistance of someone else. If they can find you online, they will.
There will be people forced through one reason or another into crime. But it's naive to see them only as victims. If you have committed a serious act against another human being or animal, it will change you. Prison changes people.
Research this properly. Don't provide any personal info and definately do not send photos. There are some good people in prison, but most aren't. Keep safe.
It's also worth considering their motives too.
I'm not saying that there aren't people in prison who stole nappies for babies, or were forced into gangs and into committing horrible crimes against their will. There are some sad stories. But these people won't be seeking comfort from someone thousands of miles away.
I don't know if you like Louis Theroux? Watch his prison documentaries. It's astonishing how charismatic some of the prisoners are. In the Miami one there's a young man with glasses who Louis and everyone watching felt so sorry for. He looked so out of place in the really horrible and violent prison. It turned out he tried to kill his girlfriend and her friend. He shot them. He then announced he was going to plead insanity. There was nothing insane about him. Despite this, I still felt sorry for him.
The San Quentin episode is incredible too. There's a guy given 521 years plus 11 life sentences who seems really nice. He'd been in and out of prison since he was 11. I didn't find him remotely scary. He'd tortured people and when Louis asked if there were any fatalities, he said no, but some people probably wished they were dead, obviously because the torture was so horrific. But I actually liked him. It sounds completely mad as I have a background in law and Social Sciences, so I know the score with people who offend. But I still liked him.
All I'm saying is be very careful. Do not provide anything that could identify you. If you send photos, it's highly likely it will be shared with other prisoners and I am sorry to be brutally frank, but they will not be commenting on how blue really suits you. Many prisoners have access to the internet, either directly or with the assistance of someone else. If they can find you online, they will.
There will be people forced through one reason or another into crime. But it's naive to see them only as victims. If you have committed a serious act against another human being or animal, it will change you. Prison changes people.
Research this properly. Don't provide any personal info and definately do not send photos. There are some good people in prison, but most aren't. Keep safe.
This was really well written and I totally agree. I can understand where the OP is coming from with the concern that people are lonely/in there for a small crime/wrongfully accused etc but like you say (in the quoted post) these will be so few and far between and the people on small charges will likely have family or not be in long enough to get lonely. I would rather use my energy to support victims or elderly, lonely people.
It is crazy how manipulative some people can be and how they can appear normal, kind, and sincere. I read Mindhunter a while ago, written by the FBI profiler the Netflix show was based on, and it's crazy when he discussed Ed Kemper how he says he would never want him back out of prison on the street but based on their meetings he actually really liked the guy - he's described as funny and smart. Kemper was actually seeing a psychiatrist during the time he was murdering women, and he was discharged as the psychiatrist thought he was no threat. It's really scary how cunning and convincing some murderers/criminals can be. Definitely bear this in mind anyone who is considering this.
Yes but Jimmy's mother and Frank's sister can't help who they're related to. You deliberately sought out two random convicted drug dealers so you could be pen pals.
Being in possession of drugs doesn’t make you a drug dealer, it makes you part of a bad chain. But I can see the valid argument you’re making and I suppose that’s fair enough, it makes sense.
whilst perusing people in the American penal system, I was amazed how many of the men say they want friendship maybe something more, how much they love the outside then you find out they’re in for rape and sodomy x20 and are in prison for 60 yrs
plus every female convict has been bisexual yet I’ve not seen one bisexual man
plus every female convict has been bisexual yet I’ve not seen one bisexual man
I follow a girl on social media who had an American prison pen pal. She used to post a lot about him, especially focusing on how he had changed and you need to get to know people before judging. She flew out to the USA a couple of times to visit him and stayed with his family I believe. But he murdered someone with an axe. I'd never be able to look past it.
She doesn't post about him now so I think they must have fallen out. But that's scary in itself isn't it... He knows her address etc.
I also think that prisoners will say anything for attention. They are bored shitless in prison so will have as many lady penpals as they can keep up with.
She doesn't post about him now so I think they must have fallen out. But that's scary in itself isn't it... He knows her address etc.
I also think that prisoners will say anything for attention. They are bored shitless in prison so will have as many lady penpals as they can keep up with.
It’s actually quite laughable reading the crap that a lot of them are coming out with ( before any one thinks it, I’m not laughing about their crimes or the victims)
Being in possession of a small amount of certain drugs doesn't make you a drug dealer, but if they have been imprisoned, it will not be because they had a spliff on their person and it fell out of their pocket whilst they were eating lunch in Fortnum and Masons.
I don't know what your definition of a drug dealer is, but I assure you, if your teenage child died as a result of taking some illegal drugs given/sold to them by a mate who bought 5 MDMA wraps for his/her friends, you may think differently. Drug dealers aren't always dressed in black, walking around in a hoodie, with jerky movements and shifty eyes. From start to finish, illegally used drugs cause nothing but misery and death. They destroy lives. If someone provides a drug illegally to another person they are a drug dealer. Additionally, they won't know what those drugs contain. They have acted illegally and put people's lives at risk. They are not part of a 'bad chain'. They are criminals.
Quite true when you see how many middle class women on Mumsnet and other places including here try to justify drug use and call you a bore for disagreeing
I’d be very wary of them becoming attached or being a fantasist.
I’m a bit concerned by the idea that they aren’t bad people, they are in there for a reason. I would always see the good in people until I got to know what I thought was a hardworking family man, turns out he was also a violent drug dealer that beat people up in front of his daughter over unpaid debts. They only portray what they want you to see but the truth comes out eventually.
Because of this thread I just went and looked at one of these sites out of curiosity. A female inmate appeared and she looked friendly and likeable from her photo. I clicked her profile and her bio was all about how she made a mistake and was looking for a second chance, as well as some other stuff about her favourite music, her favourite foods etc.
I scrolled down to see her crime. It said sexual exploitation with children. I googled her case and it’s beyond sick.
So yeah that summarises my feelings on this, it feels wrong. All of these prisoners will have a sob story and be asking for a second chance, claiming they made a mistake. But they’re not exactly going to post ‘I love terrorising others’.
I personally find it disrespectful for the victims and their families. If you’re in prison for something like rape, murder, crimes against children etc, I don’t think you should have the right to be making new buddies via pen pal
I scrolled down to see her crime. It said sexual exploitation with children. I googled her case and it’s beyond sick.
So yeah that summarises my feelings on this, it feels wrong. All of these prisoners will have a sob story and be asking for a second chance, claiming they made a mistake. But they’re not exactly going to post ‘I love terrorising others’.
I personally find it disrespectful for the victims and their families. If you’re in prison for something like rape, murder, crimes against children etc, I don’t think you should have the right to be making new buddies via pen pal
I spent some time today doing this. So easy to misjudge someone by their friendly smile, until you read about their crime!!