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I don’t think I could ever do it, I’ve thought about it before but I wouldn’t act on it.
I do think good on those who do do it though, as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons and aren’t easily manipulated then I don’t see a problem with it.
I just looked on that writeaprisoner website and some of the profiles read a bit like a dating profile “single with no kids” “looking for someone to tingle my tummy”
I do think good on those who do do it though, as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons and aren’t easily manipulated then I don’t see a problem with it.
I just looked on that writeaprisoner website and some of the profiles read a bit like a dating profile “single with no kids” “looking for someone to tingle my tummy”
A woman I used to go to school with popped up on my 'FYP' on TikTok - her video had over 100k likes and it was a 'Get Ready With Me' video about how she does her makeup etc. to video chat with her inmate boyfriend. I was super curious so found her on Facebook and it seems she used the Write A Prisoner site and has ended up in a relationship with the inmate she was writing to. She has just set up a business with his Mum over in the USA so that she is eligible to buy a house for them to live in when he's out... Really hope it turns out well for her, I for one couldn't do it!
I’m sure it’ll all go swimmingly. . .
I have no wordsSure, I understand feelings can develop but preparing yourself to buy a house with someone you never met? Prisoner or not, there are red flags for me
This is a really interesting thread!
I'm a huge true crime enthusiast and from my reading/ podcast listening I know that I could never write to someone in jail, lots of offenders have sad backgrounds which is awful but for me that doesn't negate the crimes they have committed. I also don't think if i did ever do it I would be doing it for the right reasons - it would be morbid curiosity for me.
For the people who are writing to inmates now and the OP what is it you're hoping to achieve or what's your ideal outcome? I don't mean that in a judgy way at all, I'm genuinely interested in what you'd be getting out of the relationship?
I'm a huge true crime enthusiast and from my reading/ podcast listening I know that I could never write to someone in jail, lots of offenders have sad backgrounds which is awful but for me that doesn't negate the crimes they have committed. I also don't think if i did ever do it I would be doing it for the right reasons - it would be morbid curiosity for me.
For the people who are writing to inmates now and the OP what is it you're hoping to achieve or what's your ideal outcome? I don't mean that in a judgy way at all, I'm genuinely interested in what you'd be getting out of the relationship?
What podcasts do you listen to? wouldn’t mind listening to some!
My favourite true crime podcast is Redhanded!
I tried to avoid this thread after making it but I will answer this. Sorry it's long and some points are irrelevant...
I'm in my late 20's, I am also very street wise (as someone suggested I aren't) because I've had to be in my life. I've known both bad & good people who've been in prison, for example someone beat up a known pedophile in the area and got sent away for it, yeah it wasn't a clever thing to do and two wrongs don't make a right but not everyone is a bad person. Another person I know got into a really bad fight, two drunken people and one got the better of the other and got sent away for around 2/3 years. It shouldn't have happened, they both behaved like animals but nobody died or was beat up so badly they were in hospital on the brink of death. She's now out of prison and she's a totally different person, focusing on her career and keeping out of trouble. I've known people come out and either turn their life around completely or go down the same route. Some people continue to be a bad person and I've seen this happen too.
My intention isn't and has never been to "help make these people a better person" or to find romance - as I know this seems to be a trend popular on TikTok. As for my research, I've looked into their crimes, court cases and I've also looked at other people's experiences, read several forums as I would never go into a situation in my life totally blind.
The reason I am (personally) doing it, is just to give these people something to do, someone to talk to, some people are on there for this reason and others have other intentions, sometimes you can see this straight away and some, not so much. I've not picked people who are 'attractive' and I haven't picked someone who's committed an unforgiveable crime either.
American prisons seem to be worse than the UK. There are young girls in there who've maybe robbed a store or attacked someone, sometimes in self defense and sometimes out of anger - which doesn't make it right but sometimes these people find themselves in trouble or live a troubled life, if they haven't committed . People who are in there because of their skin color and so on. I will not be asking about their crime, I am not doing it out of curiosity - it's just something I've always wanted to do and during lockdown and spending it alone looking at my four walls, suffering mentally it made me think of these people, who haven't committed a really bad crime who do this everyday and will be for another year or two, who maybe a few letters might brighten their day.
I used to be a very judgmental person. Assumed everyone who didn't do everything by the book was a bad person. I followed the rules, didn't do anything wrong. Now I am not that person anymore and realize mistakes happen. I'm not saying a mistake is stabbing someone by all means but the likes of fighting, cheating, drug use. I used to think all of these people would go to hell, scum of the earth sort of people. And that said more about me, judging others, than it does to be understanding.
I do not wish to speak to anyone who's committed a horrific crime. I also am now aware of other Pen Pals and it's something I would be interested in too. There's no limit on how many you can have.
I appreciate the nice comments, advice and people who were genuinely concerned and told me to be wary though
sorry I haven't replied to you all!
I don’t agree with some of the inflammatory comments you’ve received. People can disagree with the subject without resorting to personal comments or digs at your character. Plenty of folk out there write to prisoners for whatever reason, otherwise it wouldn’t be a thing, and this has been an interesting thread (even although I wouldn’t do it myself).I tried to avoid this thread after making it but I will answer this. Sorry it's long and some points are irrelevant...
I'm in my late 20's, I am also very street wise (as someone suggested I aren't) because I've had to be in my life. I've known both bad & good people who've been in prison, for example someone beat up a known pedophile in the area and got sent away for it, yeah it wasn't a clever thing to do and two wrongs don't make a right but not everyone is a bad person. Another person I know got into a really bad fight, two drunken people and one got the better of the other and got sent away for around 2/3 years. It shouldn't have happened, they both behaved like animals but nobody died or was beat up so badly they were in hospital on the brink of death. She's now out of prison and she's a totally different person, focusing on her career and keeping out of trouble. I've known people come out and either turn their life around completely or go down the same route. Some people continue to be a bad person and I've seen this happen too.
My intention isn't and has never been to "help make these people a better person" or to find romance - as I know this seems to be a trend popular on TikTok. As for my research, I've looked into their crimes, court cases and I've also looked at other people's experiences, read several forums as I would never go into a situation in my life totally blind.
The reason I am (personally) doing it, is just to give these people something to do, someone to talk to, some people are on there for this reason and others have other intentions, sometimes you can see this straight away and some, not so much. I've not picked people who are 'attractive' and I haven't picked someone who's committed an unforgiveable crime either.
American prisons seem to be worse than the UK. There are young girls in there who've maybe robbed a store or attacked someone, sometimes in self defense and sometimes out of anger - which doesn't make it right but sometimes these people find themselves in trouble or live a troubled life, if they haven't committed . People who are in there because of their skin color and so on. I will not be asking about their crime, I am not doing it out of curiosity - it's just something I've always wanted to do and during lockdown and spending it alone looking at my four walls, suffering mentally it made me think of these people, who haven't committed a really bad crime who do this everyday and will be for another year or two, who maybe a few letters might brighten their day.
I used to be a very judgmental person. Assumed everyone who didn't do everything by the book was a bad person. I followed the rules, didn't do anything wrong. Now I am not that person anymore and realize mistakes happen. I'm not saying a mistake is stabbing someone by all means but the likes of fighting, cheating, drug use. I used to think all of these people would go to hell, scum of the earth sort of people. And that said more about me, judging others, than it does to be understanding.
I do not wish to speak to anyone who's committed a horrific crime. I also am now aware of other Pen Pals and it's something I would be interested in too. There's no limit on how many you can have.
I appreciate the nice comments, advice and people who were genuinely concerned and told me to be wary though
Sick bs*tard
Thank you, much appreciated! I agree that some people will do this with different intentions to me. Some women were fascinated with Ted Bundy and wrote to him because they were attracted to him. That's bizarre to me and also interesting at the same time, the same with Richard Ramirez, he has a big female following didn't he?
That’s true. There were even women turning up to court just to see them. It’s absolutely crazy.
Night stalker was a huge hit with serial killer groupies. He married one but she divorced him after finding out that one of his victims had been a child. Because the sick tit he'd done apart from that was OK
Yeah I watched part of the documentary and remember him having a huge following. But then look at Charles Manson, though he started the cult and they did the dirty work, some women and men are attracted to people like that.Night stalker was a huge hit with serial killer groupies. He married one but she divorced him after finding out that one of his victims had been a child. Because the sick tit he'd done apart from that was OK
It's wrong but it's interesting
My favourites are Red handed and All Killa, No Filla. Love that they're both presented by British women around my age who are funny and engaging, they do a lot of research!
I also listen to:
Wine and Crime - 3 drunk Americans who drink wine and chat true crime, this is the most laid back of them all with the littlest detail but they have funny stories and confessions so you can dip in and out
True Crime Garage - 2 American men, ones voice is just like Rossi from Criminal Minds, they've had John Douglas the famous profiler on their show and really get in to their cases
Seeing Red - another British pod, but more serious
They walk among us - one man presenter with a lot of detail
Crime Junkie - quite short recaps of famous cases
Morbid - mixture of murders and spooky stuff
Crime Weekly - this is quite new and it's presented by youtUber Stephanie Harlowe and a police man so tend to be very detail focused
All the best with it and stay safe
I also listen to:
Wine and Crime - 3 drunk Americans who drink wine and chat true crime, this is the most laid back of them all with the littlest detail but they have funny stories and confessions so you can dip in and out
True Crime Garage - 2 American men, ones voice is just like Rossi from Criminal Minds, they've had John Douglas the famous profiler on their show and really get in to their cases
Seeing Red - another British pod, but more serious
They walk among us - one man presenter with a lot of detail
Crime Junkie - quite short recaps of famous cases
Morbid - mixture of murders and spooky stuff
Crime Weekly - this is quite new and it's presented by youtUber Stephanie Harlowe and a police man so tend to be very detail focused
Thank you for replying - I'm glad you're looking at other types of penpals too as like many have said there are plenty of lonely people out there, for me I was interested in whether it's inmates specifically you want to engage with and if so why but obviously that's not the case.
All the best with it and stay safe
I tried to avoid this thread after making it but I will answer this. Sorry it's long and some points are irrelevant...
I'm in my late 20's, I am also very street wise (as someone suggested I aren't) because I've had to be in my life. I've known both bad & good people who've been in prison, for example someone beat up a known pedophile in the area and got sent away for it, yeah it wasn't a clever thing to do and two wrongs don't make a right but not everyone is a bad person. Another person I know got into a really bad fight, two drunken people and one got the better of the other and got sent away for around 2/3 years. It shouldn't have happened, they both behaved like animals but nobody died or was beat up so badly they were in hospital on the brink of death. She's now out of prison and she's a totally different person, focusing on her career and keeping out of trouble. I've known people come out and either turn their life around completely or go down the same route. Some people continue to be a bad person and I've seen this happen too.
My intention isn't and has never been to "help make these people a better person" or to find romance - as I know this seems to be a trend popular on TikTok. As for my research, I've looked into their crimes, court cases and I've also looked at other people's experiences, read several forums as I would never go into a situation in my life totally blind.
The reason I am (personally) doing it, is just to give these people something to do, someone to talk to, some people are on there for this reason and others have other intentions, sometimes you can see this straight away and some, not so much. I've not picked people who are 'attractive' and I haven't picked someone who's committed an unforgiveable crime either.
American prisons seem to be worse than the UK. There are young girls in there who've maybe robbed a store or attacked someone, sometimes in self defense and sometimes out of anger - which doesn't make it right but sometimes these people find themselves in trouble or live a troubled life, if they haven't committed . People who are in there because of their skin color and so on. I will not be asking about their crime, I am not doing it out of curiosity - it's just something I've always wanted to do and during lockdown and spending it alone looking at my four walls, suffering mentally it made me think of these people, who haven't committed a really bad crime who do this everyday and will be for another year or two, who maybe a few letters might brighten their day.
I used to be a very judgmental person. Assumed everyone who didn't do everything by the book was a bad person. I followed the rules, didn't do anything wrong. Now I am not that person anymore and realize mistakes happen. I'm not saying a mistake is stabbing someone by all means but the likes of fighting, cheating, drug use. I used to think all of these people would go to hell, scum of the earth sort of people. And that said more about me, judging others, than it does to be understanding.
I do not wish to speak to anyone who's committed a horrific crime. I also am now aware of other Pen Pals and it's something I would be interested in too. There's no limit on how many you can have.
I appreciate the nice comments, advice and people who were genuinely concerned and told me to be wary though
I am going to check some of these out! I've been looking for a decent one.My favourites are Red handed and All Killa, No Filla. Love that they're both presented by British women around my age who are funny and engaging, they do a lot of research!
I also listen to:
Wine and Crime - 3 drunk Americans who drink wine and chat true crime, this is the most laid back of them all with the littlest detail but they have funny stories and confessions so you can dip in and out
True Crime Garage - 2 American men, ones voice is just like Rossi from Criminal Minds, they've had John Douglas the famous profiler on their show and really get in to their cases
Seeing Red - another British pod, but more serious
They walk among us - one man presenter with a lot of detail
Crime Junkie - quite short recaps of famous cases
Morbid - mixture of murders and spooky stuff
Crime Weekly - this is quite new and it's presented by youtUber Stephanie Harlowe and a police man so tend to be very detail focused
Thank you for replying - I'm glad you're looking at other types of penpals too as like many have said there are plenty of lonely people out there, for me I was interested in whether it's inmates specifically you want to engage with and if so why but obviously that's not the case.
All the best with it and stay safe
I enjoy watching Bailey Sarian's videos and haven't found something else to listen to/watch along side her
I have family members in prison, the difference is I know them.
I wouldn't write on a personal level, one to one to anyone I didn't know male or female, prisoner or non prisoner. I'd be worried in case they were a bit of a weirdo, developed some sort of obsession, got annoyed about not getting a response (that's just me) You just never know with people. Would they have your address? It's also easy to look people up.
It's very nice of you to think about how lonely they might be but I would be very very careful, as you say do your research. What about elderly people in care homes? I think you can volunteer for age UK to speak to elderly people who are lonely. I used to speak to a lot of elderly people through my work & they really appreciated it.
I wouldn't write on a personal level, one to one to anyone I didn't know male or female, prisoner or non prisoner. I'd be worried in case they were a bit of a weirdo, developed some sort of obsession, got annoyed about not getting a response (that's just me) You just never know with people. Would they have your address? It's also easy to look people up.
It's very nice of you to think about how lonely they might be but I would be very very careful, as you say do your research. What about elderly people in care homes? I think you can volunteer for age UK to speak to elderly people who are lonely. I used to speak to a lot of elderly people through my work & they really appreciated it.