Prisoner Pen Pal?

[theghosttown]

This attitude is probably a sign you should stop working in the system. Where’s your belief in rehabilitation and that people can change?

I was literally just about to write this.

How can you be committed to working in the system when that is your general attitude...

In response to OP. I would just tread cautiously. You seem like a smart woman so you know the potential risks- manipulation for money/ drugs , prisoners potentially wanting a romantic relationship etc. Don’t give out personal info, keep it above board and you will be fine. I think it is a great think to do. They have gone through the legal process, sentenced for their crimes and it really isn’t for anyone to cast judgement over the intricacies of it.

 

[MrsDoyle’sScones]

Hello

Has anyone ever had a pen pal in prison?
I have just written my first letter to someone and want to know if anyone has any experiences to share or any advice on the type of things to write into the letters?

It's something I have always wanted to do so I finally wrote one! I hope to hear back, it's all very interesting to me

I honestly don’t understand some people. You specifically asked for people who have wrote letters to inmates before, or advice, but then you get slated.

If you don’t agree, haven’t done it or have no advice, then why bother? She doesn’t want or need your opinion, it’s irrelevant.

I’ve thought about it before but only because of a potential area of my career I could branch into. I can definitely see the appeal. I do hope you’ll give an update on how you’re finding the whole process, I’m really interested to read it.

 

[Oohthedrama]

Before I get anymore snobby comments

Set up a thread on here, accept the good and the bad.

honestly don’t understand some people

It’s not your job to understand anyone on here, you will get mixed replies on an open gossip forum.
Read, ignore, skip, engage, so many options

The varied responses and discussions are the best part!

 

[Practically Perfect]

Approx. email/letter 3 will come the requests for nudes, money and so on or even worse pics of your kids.

And yes i did do it and was asked for all of the above.

I am sorry i did it, wouldnt recommend it and would never do it again.

Edited to add: I was a naive idiot who had no clue what i was getting myself in to and 20 years later it still bothers me and regret it.

I thought i was being nice, looked at it like voluntary work. I was a dumb ass.

 

[Barbie2020]

I don’t think I’d be able to do it but I understand the interest in doing it as a bit of a true crime geek. I’d imagine some of them are very manipulative and get inside your head.

I’m sure you know to be careful and not give too much away. I do admire that you see the good in people. I’m sure there are many prisoners who’ve made mistakes when they were young/had no money etc and got themselves into bad situations but might still be good people (obviously I’m not talking about the really shocking crimes like murder, rape etc).

 

[Oohthedrama]

Personally,
not a chance in the burning fires of hell.

I don’t think anyone who does has good intentions towards the prisoner. I think they do it out of morbid curiosity and nosiness,

there absolutely ARE innocent people in prison, but more likely than not they’re in there because they aren’t innocent.

there are many, many, MANY victims who deserve support, rape victims, victims of robbery that fear being alone in their own house, women who were mugged one night and never go out alone again, people who have been beaten to a pulp for a tenner and admitted to hospital.

the prisoner might have a backstory that explains why they’ve got to where they are, they deserve rehabilitation, not friendship and support.

very easy to romanticise this story of an innocent prisoner who’s been locked behind bars in a huge miss justice, how they come out at 59 and attend University and go on to build an empire helping other young offenders on the way.

0.0000000001% chance of you connecting with anyone but Jonno the scumbag who’s after some nudes and some baccy.

not intended to flame or offend just my opinion

 

[ProphecyGirl]

I only wanted to do this after I started living alone and found loneliness and it made me think of the people in there who are genuinely good or have been in for 20+ years

I've read the forum rules, it stated no dirty photos. Letters to be written in black and blue ink, you're not even allowed to put 'lipstick' marks on a letter and a letter will be returned if this happens.

I have seen a few profiles, who make it obviously they're after a place to stay once they're out.

There's a guy on there called John Christopher Marquard who is serving life.
A woman wrote to him and they 'fell in love' I know some people romanticize this sort of thing and will be writing to him because of that - in his younger days he was very attractive, that's appealing to some and I know some women love this and the whole Ted Bundy and the night stalker killer.
That to me is bizarre and the total opposite of my reasons for this

 

[Oohthedrama]

after I started living alone and found loneliness and it made me think of the people in there who are genuinely good or have been in for 20+ years

you know there are a lot of elderly or vulnerable people who are in the same position without the “40 years to life” tag.

just saying, have you thought about looking into contacting someone in a care home? Helping out with meals on wheels?

 

[ProphecyGirl]

you know there are a lot of elderly or vulnerable people who are in the same position without the “40 years to life” tag.

just saying, have you thought about looking into contacting someone in a care home? Helping out with meals on wheels?

I didn't know this was a thing to be able to write to the elderly in care homes. I would do that too though.

 

[catcat94]

Have been writing to prisoners since last summer time. There’s not a lot of harm in it. Be careful and only tell them what you want them to know. Don’t see problems with it!

 

[Oohthedrama]

I didn't know this was a thing to be able to write to the elderly in care homes. I would do that too though.

I know it definitely was during lockdown 1, pretty sure your letter would be vetted before given to the resident so you’re not trying to get money out of them, contact some of the authorities in your area who deal with elderly care in the community, once you’re vetted I’m sure they’d be glad if the help even if it’s just delivering meals to someone who can’t get to a day centre

 

[ProphecyGirl]

Have been writing to prisoners since last summer time. There’s not a lot of harm in it. Be careful and only tell them what you want them to know. Don’t see problems with it!

Do you write multiple or just the one!? Yeah I've not said much in my first letter just a general summary!

 

[catcat94]

Do you write multiple or just the one!? Yeah I've not said much in my first letter just a general summary!

Been writing to one since August, and started writing to another recently.
they are in diff prisons they advise against writing to two in the same state for obvious reasons.
I use an app, so they haven’t my address or real name.
never been asked for money or nudes, I’ve sent pics but full dressed.
Can’t see any problems in it tbh!

anyway the internet is a great place, you can search pretty much whatever, and find out about them before writing

 

[Base2019]

I’ve went down a rabbit whole reading the profiles on that website lol so interesting!!!! Not sure I would have the balls to write to any of them tho

 

[alwayslurkin]

I'm following this thread because I have considered this... However, I think it comes down to what someone said before about morbid curiosity.

I want to know that people in prison, regardless of their crime, can be rehabilitated and have the backstory etc. I guess to make me feel safer in the world? I am not sure how to word it, to be honest.

I am really into true crime, and I think that is where my curiosity comes from. I came from a rough area, some of my friends from school ended up offending... I'd still not reach out to them even though I knew them once. It's been years since we spoke and I'd only be wanting facts of the crime deep down.

I am really interested in reaching out to the elderly though. I'm sure they have many things to teach me and people would love to share.

 

[ChloeW94]

Here is a link to Age UK where you can be a “telephone befriender”. I’m sure there was one where you could write to people too but can’t find that link!

Telephone friendship service | Age UK

Sign up as a volunteer for the telephone friendship service to talk to older people to help loneliness and isolation.

www.ageuk.org.uk

 

[Gertrude]

I’ve went down a rabbit whole reading the profiles on that website lol so interesting!!!! Not sure I would have the balls to write to any of them tho

Me too!! I'm bit of a true crime junkie and couldn't help myself. I even googled some of them to get details of their crimes. Stuff of nightmares!! I don't know what drives people to commit these horrible things. I'm in the wrong job, should have been a crime psychologist.
Don't think I'd have the guts to write to them either, and to be honest, I think I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons, especially with the truly evil ones.

there are many, many, MANY victims who deserve support, rape victims, victims of robbery that fear being alone in their own house, women who were mugged one night and never go out alone again, people who have been beaten to a pulp for a tenner and admitted to hospital.

Great idea and something I'd love to do. Going to find out how to go about this.

 

[SoulRebel]

I agree with questioning yourself as to your motives, some people want to be the saving angel but that's no help for the people you are writing to.
I saw this and it may be of interest and benefit some people who are really struggling right now.

 

[LittleMy]

I didn't know this was a thing to be able to write to the elderly in care homes. I would do that too though.

Yes, a lot of care homes do this. The one I work in is one of them. A lot of our residents don’t have any family or friends that are still living. Others’ adult children have moved away abroad so while they still speak on the phone etc, they haven’t physically seen them for a long time. Some didn’t have children or marry.

I’d sooner want to spend my time writing to them (and visiting, when Covid fucks off again).

 

[Miss98]

Fair play to you for being non-judgemental and believing that people change and deserve second chances. But for me it would depend on the crime. Imagine if your daughter/sister/friend/whoever was murdered or mugged, raped whatever and you found out that the suspect got the privilege of people writing to them in prison and pen pals. I'd find it a smack in the face (again, depending on the severity of the crime).