Out of curiosity do they write to your home address when you do this?
(Anyone who’s in the know)
that would freak me the duck out.
(Anyone who’s in the know)
that would freak me the duck out.
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The more I think about this the more I am against it. (OP - please don't take these comments as personal, they are not aimed at you, more the whole process in general).
I am struggling to see how anybody could be writing to a prisoner for any other reason than personal curiosity - as has already been suggested on this thread there are tons of other ways you can be a pen pal or communicate with people without contacting an actual incarcerated criminal. (Appreciate there are a small number of instances where innocent people are incarcerated but let's face it, the overwhelming majority of these people will have committed the crime they are convicted of). The argument of I'm doing it because "good people sometimes do bad things" or " they had a bad upbringing which affected their decisions - they're not a bad person" doesn't sit well with me. If we were discussing a child rapist, who had been abused all their life, you would not be using their upbringing or past events as a mitigating factor, you'd be disgusted at what they did. So I don't think those arguments can be used to apply to lesser crimes either.
I also can't help but feel that these people on the inside are master manipulators, granted, not all of them but I think a large majority, who will use the pen pals to get what they want, whatever that may be. I cannot see how having a pen pal from a different country will in any way aid their rehabilitation. Let the prisons do what they are there to do, rehabilitate. Contact is allowed with the outside world via phone calls and visits to a select number of people who were involved with the person before they were incarcerated. I can't see why there is any need for a total stranger to be in touch with a prisoner, or what benefit that will have to the ultimate goal of rehabilitation.
I am struggling to see how anybody could be writing to a prisoner for any other reason than personal curiosity - as has already been suggested on this thread there are tons of other ways you can be a pen pal or communicate with people without contacting an actual incarcerated criminal. (Appreciate there are a small number of instances where innocent people are incarcerated but let's face it, the overwhelming majority of these people will have committed the crime they are convicted of). The argument of I'm doing it because "good people sometimes do bad things" or " they had a bad upbringing which affected their decisions - they're not a bad person" doesn't sit well with me. If we were discussing a child rapist, who had been abused all their life, you would not be using their upbringing or past events as a mitigating factor, you'd be disgusted at what they did. So I don't think those arguments can be used to apply to lesser crimes either.
I also can't help but feel that these people on the inside are master manipulators, granted, not all of them but I think a large majority, who will use the pen pals to get what they want, whatever that may be. I cannot see how having a pen pal from a different country will in any way aid their rehabilitation. Let the prisons do what they are there to do, rehabilitate. Contact is allowed with the outside world via phone calls and visits to a select number of people who were involved with the person before they were incarcerated. I can't see why there is any need for a total stranger to be in touch with a prisoner, or what benefit that will have to the ultimate goal of rehabilitation.
This guy writes to all of the notorious criminals. He also gives them his home address apparently (I once asked him out of curiosity). The mind boggles.
Instagram
instagram.com
instagram.com
I’d exercise caution but i wouldn’t say don’t do it. A close friend of my husband ended up in prison for a year on cannabis charges, he plead guilty. He’s a lovely guy and was an usher at our wedding (pre-prison), he made mistakes and I don’t see him any differently. Now he’s out and back to normal life, working etc.
I use an app - they do not know where I live - I told them I live in a different part of the country to where I actually live. They don’t know my real name.Out of curiosity do they write to your home address when you do this?
(Anyone who’s in the know)
that would freak me the duck out.
but I believe if you write hand mail they would have your address unless you pay for a PO Box or something
nobody can hand on heart say they’re doing it for any other reason than morbid curiosity and excitement.
I'm sure many can convince themselves they’re doing a positive thing for someone else, but I don’t buy it
Yeah, this doesn't sit well with me either...
I have no doubts that there will be some people out there wrongly convicted, but the chances of you being in contact with someone in that position would be very slim. Like others have said, they could tell you anything; invent a sob story to manipulate you and you wouldn't even know.
I also don't understand why anyone would want to write to a prisoner other than for the 'thrill' of it all. If you're lonely, there are lots of ways to be sociable and help others who are vulnerable and lonely and aren't criminals; ie the elderly or the sick. My partner works in a hospital; he says there are volunteers of all age groups who help out there for socialisation. Even now during the pandemic, there are volunteers who collect belongings families have brought for their loved ones and deliver it to the wards they're in. There are lots of online courses you can do to meet others and also learn something new; I've been fitting in an active listening course with my full time job and some of us are planning to meet up when we can; I've made new friends from that. My mum has a weekly Zoom chat with a craft club she found online. I recently joined a fitness page on Facebook that also has weekly Zoom chats. If you do some research, there are lots of ways you can be sociable even during these times, whilst also helping yourself or others if you'd like to.
I have no doubts that there will be some people out there wrongly convicted, but the chances of you being in contact with someone in that position would be very slim. Like others have said, they could tell you anything; invent a sob story to manipulate you and you wouldn't even know.
I also don't understand why anyone would want to write to a prisoner other than for the 'thrill' of it all. If you're lonely, there are lots of ways to be sociable and help others who are vulnerable and lonely and aren't criminals; ie the elderly or the sick. My partner works in a hospital; he says there are volunteers of all age groups who help out there for socialisation. Even now during the pandemic, there are volunteers who collect belongings families have brought for their loved ones and deliver it to the wards they're in. There are lots of online courses you can do to meet others and also learn something new; I've been fitting in an active listening course with my full time job and some of us are planning to meet up when we can; I've made new friends from that. My mum has a weekly Zoom chat with a craft club she found online. I recently joined a fitness page on Facebook that also has weekly Zoom chats. If you do some research, there are lots of ways you can be sociable even during these times, whilst also helping yourself or others if you'd like to.
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Ok - my reasons. I will say, when asked, (and i even said earlier) that i was being nice and looked at it as if voluntary work.
What i didn't say was - ok - I was in a very lonley marriage, had 3 small children, stuck at home 24/7, the internet was new and i was looking for something, anything. Yes i had a morbid curiosity and had probably watched Oprah or some other type show where this was the subject matter.
I like to tell myself (and think) i was clever and researched all the things. But I was very lonely and i can honestly say now that my intentions were not altogether altruistic. I dont know what my motivation or intentions were exactly was but i just know that i was naive, gullible and it is something i very much regret.
i just urge that you use caution; believe nothing, take it all with a pinch of salt, send nothing and the second you sense a vibe you do not like - stop. Remember also that whatever you write, send etc will not be only to that person, it will be shared. Of that i have no doubt.
What i didn't say was - ok - I was in a very lonley marriage, had 3 small children, stuck at home 24/7, the internet was new and i was looking for something, anything. Yes i had a morbid curiosity and had probably watched Oprah or some other type show where this was the subject matter.
I like to tell myself (and think) i was clever and researched all the things. But I was very lonely and i can honestly say now that my intentions were not altogether altruistic. I dont know what my motivation or intentions were exactly was but i just know that i was naive, gullible and it is something i very much regret.
i just urge that you use caution; believe nothing, take it all with a pinch of salt, send nothing and the second you sense a vibe you do not like - stop. Remember also that whatever you write, send etc will not be only to that person, it will be shared. Of that i have no doubt.
OP - please don't take this the wrong way, but you seem very young and incredibly naïve.
Prisoners are not the victims they are the perpetrators. They are the cause of other people's anguish, injuries, rape, loss death etc, etc.
If you want to actually help someone out who deserves it I suggest you volunteer to help out with a victim support charity. There are many of these - but maybe not the excitement you are looking for?
Life isn’t like the films and TV series - innocent people rarely go to prison, drugs aren't harmless and people very rarely turn their lives around.
Crime pays - financially, sexually (with what ever victim they choose) and beats working. Until they get caught of course, then they play the innocent victim of circumstances card to anyone foolish enough to believe it.
There are so many more deserving causes than these people, trust the justice system. 99.9% of criminals are in prison because they deserve to be punished. Don't forget that.
Best of luck.
Prisoners are not the victims they are the perpetrators. They are the cause of other people's anguish, injuries, rape, loss death etc, etc.
If you want to actually help someone out who deserves it I suggest you volunteer to help out with a victim support charity. There are many of these - but maybe not the excitement you are looking for?
Life isn’t like the films and TV series - innocent people rarely go to prison, drugs aren't harmless and people very rarely turn their lives around.
Crime pays - financially, sexually (with what ever victim they choose) and beats working. Until they get caught of course, then they play the innocent victim of circumstances card to anyone foolish enough to believe it.
There are so many more deserving causes than these people, trust the justice system. 99.9% of criminals are in prison because they deserve to be punished. Don't forget that.
Best of luck.
Bit OT but wish you could put yourself forwards for jury duty, rather than it just being a lottery.
I think if the OP did that they'd get the "excitement" as being in the thick of law, but the grounding and understanding of actually who they could be communicating with.
I know it sounds patronising but I have no other way of wording this.... please don't think I'm making a dig. It's just a thought. I did jury duty for a domestic abuse case and let me tell you, it opened my eyes!
I think if the OP did that they'd get the "excitement" as being in the thick of law, but the grounding and understanding of actually who they could be communicating with.
I know it sounds patronising but I have no other way of wording this.... please don't think I'm making a dig. It's just a thought. I did jury duty for a domestic abuse case and let me tell you, it opened my eyes!
I actually find it shocking how many people on Mumsnet are so open and naive about drugs but judgey about everything else.
My uncle is in prison for quite a serious crime and having been to visit him I would in no way recommend reaching out to people serving long term prison sentences! Prison changes your mentality and these type of prisoners focus solely on ‘winning’, they manipulate everyone around them. It’s almost as if animal instincts kick in... what are you hoping to achieve from contacting them? What are you expecting them to say? How will you feel if they don’t reply?
If they are on that website you won’t be the only one writing to them. They will be actively hunting for the most vulnerable people to exploit.
If they are on that website you won’t be the only one writing to them. They will be actively hunting for the most vulnerable people to exploit.
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I did jury duty on a rape case when I was heavily pregnant with my firstborn, and I agree. Upon revealing our verdict, we were then given further background information about the perpetrator that wasn’t given to us prior. It turned out the person had a history of rape and criminal activity in their home country. It was shocking because there were many on the panel who genuinely believed he was innocent. Obviously, there was a guilty majority and he was sentenced. But I imagine most of those who thought he was innocent would have changed their minds after that.
That's awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I think people forget how haunting those cases can be on the jury, too.
Thanks. I initially tried to get out of going because I was 8 months pregnant and very uncomfortable, but I couldn’t get exemption from my midwife so just went to get it over with. The experience was fascinating, but definitely harrowing. I wouldn’t mind doing it again but I’m glad they don’t call you again for a good few years as it stays with you.
You can't volunteer for Jury Duty in the UK, you are selected randomly for it.
Basically, if you are a UK national then your National Insurance Number is randomly drawn.
It's a legal requirement to attend and the chances of getting out of it are very slim.
Sounds really interesting. but have your wits about you x