Pregnancy #53

[littlepup]

Hello all!! My first time posting here. Just found out we are pregnant, 4 weeks 1 day after trying for a few months. Excited and nervous. Baby is due 8 September if all goes well. I am however, meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend at her wedding on 14th September. This is my first baby so I’m curious to know people’s opinions -Is this a write off? I want nothing more to be there on her day so I am dreading telling her… I also have a very short cervix due to early cervical cancer at 26. Likely to need a stitch so that does add another layer of complexity!

Congratulations!
re the wedding, Give it a few weeks and tell her. It depends on the kind of wedding, how chill your friend is and the expense involved to both sides but personally I would drop out of the wedding party and just try to be a guest.

As a first time mum, I wouldn’t want to be parted from baby for an extended period or want baby around that many people so soon after birth. If they’re doing an expensive sit down meal it might even be a case of trying to just go for the ceremony or after party or if it’s at a hotel, getting a room and having a grandparent (if poss) with baby there you can pop back and forth between.

 

[justonemorepage]

Hello all!! My first time posting here. Just found out we are pregnant, 4 weeks 1 day after trying for a few months. Excited and nervous. Baby is due 8 September if all goes well. I am however, meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend at her wedding on 14th September. This is my first baby so I’m curious to know people’s opinions -Is this a write off? I want nothing more to be there on her day so I am dreading telling her… I also have a very short cervix due to early cervical cancer at 26. Likely to need a stitch so that does add another layer of complexity!

If you're due on the 8th and the wedding is the 14th I would say you'd probably have to pull out. You may go over your due date by up to 2 weeks (if you are not having an elective or being induced sooner) and even if your baby does arrive before the due date, those first few weeks with the baby are pretty hard going. You'll be sleep deprived, overstimulated and overwhelmed. I'm not sure a wedding would be a place I'd personally want to go to just after giving birth but only you know for sure if it's something you'd be okay with. I'm sure she'd understand whatever you decide to do.

 

[opintionatedperson]

Hello all!! My first time posting here. Just found out we are pregnant, 4 weeks 1 day after trying for a few months. Excited and nervous. Baby is due 8 September if all goes well. I am however, meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend at her wedding on 14th September. This is my first baby so I’m curious to know people’s opinions -Is this a write off? I want nothing more to be there on her day so I am dreading telling her… I also have a very short cervix due to early cervical cancer at 26. Likely to need a stitch so that does add another layer of complexity!

Congratulations first of all.

It's like looking back at me a couple of months ago I've the same situation coming up very soon where I'm a bridesmaid too.. I told the bride before we went dress shopping which was about 12 week mark.. She is a mom so I think she was more understanding and she is quite chilled. We both agreed we'd chance it away and see how I feel but no hard feelings if I change my mind. My dress has room for improvement and we will see how it goes, we can always sell it . Baby will be attending wedding and my capable husband will be doing a lot of the work for the day and myself as its a family wedding-that's the plan. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm crazy and I shouldn't but I could be fine I may not be fine who knows. The bride is comfortable playing it by ear which is what matters it's her day at the end of the day the decision is hers. But if you really don't want to do it then don't. I'm just willing to give myself a chance it's my first baby and I'm probably being overly optimistic but sure look well see. My due date is 2 weeks before wedding.

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

Not exactly the same situation but we were invited to a wedding of a good friend of my husband in mid Feb, I’m due 26th Jan. We decided to tell them we wouldn’t be able to go. Because i could go over my due date and also if i end up having a C section for any reason (would be emergency) I’d be recovering for some time after. Plus even if I have had the baby around my due date, I’ll have a baby who’s a couple of weeks old.

 

[LE123]

@wishiniwasskinny @opintionatedperson @justonemorepage @littlepup thanks so much for your advice I’m going to wait until 12 weeks and just tell her honestly like you say, and if she’s willing to be flexible then great. But if she isn’t and would rather she replaced me with another bridesmaid, then that is completely understandable

 

[opintionatedperson]

@wishiniwasskinny @opintionatedperson @justonemorepage @littlepup thanks so much for your advice I’m going to wait until 12 weeks and just tell her honestly like you say, and if she’s willing to be flexible then great. But if she isn’t and would rather she replaced me with another bridesmaid, then that is completely understandable

I meant to say, don't put yourself under pressure either.. Do what's right for you too and just be open and honest when you are 12 weeks.
I completely understand why people wouldn't want to but I'm stubborn and want to prove people wrong Id like to think people are more flexible since covid and all those rescritions.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Hello all!! My first time posting here. Just found out we are pregnant, 4 weeks 1 day after trying for a few months. Excited and nervous. Baby is due 8 September if all goes well. I am however, meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend at her wedding on 14th September. This is my first baby so I’m curious to know people’s opinions -Is this a write off? I want nothing more to be there on her day so I am dreading telling her… I also have a very short cervix due to early cervical cancer at 26. Likely to need a stitch so that does add another layer of complexity!

I had something by similar, and instead of being part of the bridal party and having lots of responsibilities, I did a reading at the ceremony, dipped in and out of dinner to look after the bairn and left before the party. Honestly, no one cared. My mental health was ruined so I wasn’t much fun anyway, but she will remember you were there.

 

[opintionatedperson]

I'm dreading the sober hen than the wedding. I feel ill get away with more at the wedding as there is loads of people there people won't notice my absence. Whereas the hen less people and I'll prob wabt to be anti social

 

[Keera]

Hey ladies hope your all having a restful day, I just wondered if any of you had some early brown spotting? Definitely no red or pink, no cramps, symptoms still very much present at 4 weeks 2 days. I had pink bleeding 10dpo - 12DPO, got my positive which got darker til 14DPO (haven’t tested since), but have had pretty much persistent light brown discharge on wiping - tiny spots in my underwear.
obviously I’m worrying somethings up and Dr Internet gives conflicting information - I’m on holiday away from where I live until Wednesday so can’t call my local EPU…
I don’t know that they will be too concerned given it’s such a tiny amount and I have no pain or fresh blood so I guess I’m just looking for a bit of interim advice?

 

[opintionatedperson]

Hey ladies hope your all having a restful day, I just wondered if any of you had some early brown spotting? Definitely no red or pink, no cramps, symptoms still very much present at 4 weeks 2 days. I had pink bleeding 10dpo - 12DPO, got my positive which got darker til 14DPO (haven’t tested since), but have had pretty much persistent light brown discharge on wiping - tiny spots in my underwear.
obviously I’m worrying somethings up and Dr Internet gives conflicting information - I’m on holiday away from where I live until Wednesday so can’t call my local EPU…
I don’t know that they will be too concerned given it’s such a tiny amount and I have no pain or fresh blood so I guess I’m just looking for a bit of interim advice?

Think if its brown it's old blood so nothing to worry about in the interim

 

[Hinchhater1442]

I'm dreading the sober hen than the wedding. I feel ill get away with more at the wedding as there is loads of people there people won't notice my absence. Whereas the hen less people and I'll prob wabt to be anti social

I won’t lie, I went on a hen do last year whilst pregnant and it was probably the worst weekend away I’ve ever had

 

[opintionatedperson]

I won’t lie, I went on a hen do last year whilst pregnant and it was probably the worst weekend away I’ve ever had

I'll be 35 weeks as well, so to say I'm allergic it's only one night though not the full weekend!

 

[littlepup]

Hey ladies hope your all having a restful day, I just wondered if any of you had some early brown spotting? Definitely no red or pink, no cramps, symptoms still very much present at 4 weeks 2 days. I had pink bleeding 10dpo - 12DPO, got my positive which got darker til 14DPO (haven’t tested since), but have had pretty much persistent light brown discharge on wiping - tiny spots in my underwear.
obviously I’m worrying somethings up and Dr Internet gives conflicting information - I’m on holiday away from where I live until Wednesday so can’t call my local EPU…
I don’t know that they will be too concerned given it’s such a tiny amount and I have no pain or fresh blood so I guess I’m just looking for a bit of interim advice?

As already said, brown usually indicates old blood. I also know people who’ve had full on bleeds on and off throughout the first trimester with no ill effects so I would try not to panic.
I had heavy bleeding over weeks but the EPU wouldn’t scan me until 6 weeks.

 

[Keera]

Thanks @littlepup and @opintionatedperson that’s reassuring! it seems to be lessening now and I likely wouldn’t even notice it it’s so faint if I wasn’t intensely looking!
Will see how things go until I’m home on wednesday

 

[AT_16]

Hello all!! My first time posting here. Just found out we are pregnant, 4 weeks 1 day after trying for a few months. Excited and nervous. Baby is due 8 September if all goes well. I am however, meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend at her wedding on 14th September. This is my first baby so I’m curious to know people’s opinions -Is this a write off? I want nothing more to be there on her day so I am dreading telling her… I also have a very short cervix due to early cervical cancer at 26. Likely to need a stitch so that does add another layer of complexity!

Congratulations! I have the same issue i am due September 1st and i’m due to be a maid of honour on 31st of August I will be delivering via C section and I will deliver earlier than my due date most likely (due to complications with previous birth and pregnancy and the fact i have endometriosis) so i’m not sure if i’ll make the wedding, i don’t think i’ll be able to take part either way but i’d love to be there even as just a “guest” for a little bit so i feel your struggle! hopefully we will both be able to go to the weddings!

 

[Justwatchin...]

Hello all!! My first time posting here. Just found out we are pregnant, 4 weeks 1 day after trying for a few months. Excited and nervous. Baby is due 8 September if all goes well. I am however, meant to be a bridesmaid for my friend at her wedding on 14th September. This is my first baby so I’m curious to know people’s opinions -Is this a write off? I want nothing more to be there on her day so I am dreading telling her… I also have a very short cervix due to early cervical cancer at 26. Likely to need a stitch so that does add another layer of complexity!

I would say they will probably want to induce you early if you have a cervical stitch because you can risk going into natural labour with a stitch. It's usually 37 weeks they would do this. So if that's the plan then you might be ok to go to the wedding. I would probably drop out as a bridesmaid though or at least offer and let the bride decide, she might be happy for you to still be a bridesmaid and just do what you can and dip in and out.

When you have your first midwife appointment they will be able to give you more info around the cervical stitch and what their plan would be for you. I agree with your plan to wait until the scan to tell the bride though.

 

[Elle Woods]

Hey ladies hope your all having a restful day, I just wondered if any of you had some early brown spotting? Definitely no red or pink, no cramps, symptoms still very much present at 4 weeks 2 days. I had pink bleeding 10dpo - 12DPO, got my positive which got darker til 14DPO (haven’t tested since), but have had pretty much persistent light brown discharge on wiping - tiny spots in my underwear.
obviously I’m worrying somethings up and Dr Internet gives conflicting information - I’m on holiday away from where I live until Wednesday so can’t call my local EPU…
I don’t know that they will be too concerned given it’s such a tiny amount and I have no pain or fresh blood so I guess I’m just looking for a bit of interim advice?

Hey! I've had a few instances of this and had a reassurance scan (private) which showed everything to be absolutely fine. I spoke to my GP and also the lady who did my scan and both said brown blood is almost always old and nothing to worry about, it's most likely old blood just coming out the system. They said if there's any pain or bright red blood then obviously seek help immediately.

 

[LavaFlake]

I had the same with a tiny amount of brown blood. Had a scan and it was confirmed just to be old blood.

 

[amyy]

Can't believe it's the year we are meeting baby girl!! 18 weeks to go now. Not sure when to go on maternity leave, I'm fit and healthy so far and have a desk job which I enjoy so nothing strenuous. I've researched so much baby stuff feeding, bathing, labour etc but I have no idea about maternity leave, pay, entitlement etc whoops lol

 

[LavaFlake]

Can't believe it's the year we are meeting baby girl!! 18 weeks to go now. Not sure when to go on maternity leave, I'm fit and healthy so far and have a desk job which I enjoy so nothing strenuous. I've researched so much baby stuff feeding, bathing, labour etc but I have no idea about maternity leave, pay, entitlement etc whoops lol

Is there someone in your organisation who does HR that could explain? I was also clueless and found speaking to her really helpful. Your company should also have a maternity policy in an employee handbook so worth asking them for that.

I’ve decided to start mat leave on 16th Feb (due 1st March). Maybe I’m cutting it fine but I’m still not too uncomfortable and wfh in a desk job so would rather have the time on the other side if I can. They have said I can push it forward if needed too.