Pregnancy #53

[night0wl]

I've moved into the 33-38 weeks vote now - how nerve-wracking! My first post was at 4 or 5 weeks worried about starting my (not so) new job and I can't believe how quick that's gone!

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

Any ladies in third trimester doing perineal massage? I’m planning to start today after a warm bath haha.
Just wondering how frequently I should be doing it ?

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Any ladies in third trimester doing perineal massage? I’m planning to start today after a warm bath haha.
Just wondering how frequently I should be doing it ?

I never did, but I did also read somewhere that overdoing it can actually increase your chances of tearing??? and that alone just confused my brain so I didn’t bother hahaha

 

[opintionatedperson]

I never did, but I did also read somewhere that overdoing it can actually increase your chances of tearing??? and that alone just confused my brain so I didn’t bother hahaha

I thought it does the opposite. I asked my hubby would he do it on me and he said absolutely no way tbf I don't think I'd be able to cope with him doing it I'm too much of a control freak

 

[Greenfly125]

Any ladies in third trimester doing perineal massage? I’m planning to start today after a warm bath haha.
Just wondering how frequently I should be doing it ?

How are you going to reach around?

 

[aggytha]

Any ladies in third trimester doing perineal massage? I’m planning to start today after a warm bath haha.
Just wondering how frequently I should be doing it ?

I bought the oil from My Expert Midwife with my first pregnancy. I think it’s recommended from 35 weeks around 3 times a week.

I very briefly attempted it and it was not for me my husband offered to help me and I very quickly told him to do one I couldn’t figure out how to reach down there comfortably because my bump was in the way! I think some people suggest doing it with one leg up on the bath but seemed equally as strange/difficult to me

There is definitely evidence to show it helps though so go for it if you can figure it out!

 

[suddenly_monday]

Anyone got any suggestions (other than ginger) to help with morning - aka all day - sickness?

It’s been weeks now and I feel guilty that I’ve totally ruined Christmas for my kids by lying in bed most days

Never had any sickness previously so this has knocked me for six. I’ve also had a gastric sleeve so now worried the baby is getting no nutrients. Help

 

[raspberryjuice]

Anyone got any suggestions (other than ginger) to help with morning - aka all day - sickness?

It’s been weeks now and I feel guilty that I’ve totally ruined Christmas for my kids by lying in bed most days

Never had any sickness previously so this has knocked me for six. I’ve also had a gastric sleeve so now worried the baby is getting no nutrients. Help

Have you seen a GP for medication to help the sickness? Also if you’re struggling to keep any food or fluids down call 111 as you may need admitting for fluids/help with medication. You don’t have to suffer. There are lots of different medicines to try to get it under control.

 

[suddenly_monday]

Have you seen a GP for medication to help the sickness? Also if you’re struggling to keep any food or fluids down call 111 as you may need admitting for fluids/help with medication. You don’t have to suffer. There are lots of different medicines to try to get it under control.

I left messages to get a GP to call me this week but still waiting. Won’t get hold of them until Wednesday now so I think 111 may be my only option. I’ve never felt as ill and lightheaded in my life.

 

[raspberryjuice]

I left messages to get a GP to call me this week but still waiting. Won’t get hold of them until Wednesday now so I think 111 may be my only option. I’ve never felt as ill and lightheaded in my life.

Please call 111. I suffered for so long before giving them a call and within 2 hours they had me an OOH appt who then referred me on to gynae (bypassing a&e!) who put me on a drip and started me on meds. Those meds didnt work longer than a few days for me but it was the start of actually being listened to about how bad the sickness was and finally getting to the right combination for me. But as soon as they’d given me an injection in hospital and put me on a drip I felt better than I had in weeks. Hope you’re feeling better soon

 

[AT_16]

hey guys! i hope all your pregnancies are going well i’ve just found out i’m pregnant (around 5 weeks) after being told i couldn’t conceive due to endometriosis so i am so over the moon because i thought this would never happen. Although the plot thickens and i need some advice/support….the father is my ex we broke up a few months ago but we have stayed in a relationship of sorts, spending time together regularly, obviously sleeping together, texting all the time basically everything you do in a relationship just with out that label. We broke up so we could sort our own personal issues out with the hope of coming back together eventually.

Anyway, as i mentioned i was told i couldn’t conceive and my partner was present during consultant appointments where this was said, this is not just something I have said to him with no back up as such.

Long story short he has said he doesn’t want to be a father and i have honey trapped him and because i am refusing to terminate i have trapped him and ruined his life, i have however said to him if he wants to walk away then that’s his choice and i understand as we were told this wouldn’t happen.

He has called me shouting a lot of abuse at me, telling me to terminate and he doesn’t see the problem as now i know i can conceive i could just have another one. He says he wants nothing to do with the baby which as i said above i understand to a degree but he is planning on keeping this a secret from all his family and friends which i don’t think is fair because i believe his family should still have a choice and i don’t want to lie to them nor prevent my child from having an extended family.

He also said he needed to practice his right hook and his friend was going to “bally up” and come to my house to punch me in the stomach but then tried to say these were both jokes and if i took a joke as well as i took his life choices away then i’d be alright.

He also told me he’s been seeing someone else as soon as i told him i am pregnant but had plans to see me this weekend and saw me just before christmas (and obviously regularly before then).

I don’t know i guess i’m just posting here for a bit of support and if anyone has any advice?

Thanks for reading this far i know it was a long one x

 

[Hinchhater1442]

I thought it does the opposite. I asked my hubby would he do it on me and he said absolutely no way tbf I don't think I'd be able to cope with him doing it I'm too much of a control freak

Sorry yes the idea is to reduce the risk of tearing, but something to do with doing it ‘too much’ can increase the risk. I think twice a week is advisable I won’t pretend to know the science behind it but I was paranoid I’d overdo it so just didn’t do it at all. Cant help with experience though, I didn’t tear but baby never ended up coming out my vagina

 

[raspberryjuice]

hey guys! i hope all your pregnancies are going well i’ve just found out i’m pregnant (around 5 weeks) after being told i couldn’t conceive due to endometriosis so i am so over the moon because i thought this would never happen. Although the plot thickens and i need some advice/support….the father is my ex we broke up a few months ago but we have stayed in a relationship of sorts, spending time together regularly, obviously sleeping together, texting all the time basically everything you do in a relationship just with out that label. We broke up so we could sort our own personal issues out with the hope of coming back together eventually.

Anyway, as i mentioned i was told i couldn’t conceive and my partner was present during consultant appointments where this was said, this is not just something I have said to him with no back up as such.

Long story short he has said he doesn’t want to be a father and i have honey trapped him and because i am refusing to terminate i have trapped him and ruined his life, i have however said to him if he wants to walk away then that’s his choice and i understand as we were told this wouldn’t happen.

He has called me shouting a lot of abuse at me, telling me to terminate and he doesn’t see the problem as now i know i can conceive i could just have another one. He says he wants nothing to do with the baby which as i said above i understand to a degree but he is planning on keeping this a secret from all his family and friends which i don’t think is fair because i believe his family should still have a choice and i don’t want to lie to them nor prevent my child from having an extended family.

He also said he needed to practice his right hook and his friend was going to “bally up” and come to my house to punch me in the stomach but then tried to say these were both jokes and if i took a joke as well as i took his life choices away then i’d be alright.

He also told me he’s been seeing someone else as soon as i told him i am pregnant but had plans to see me this weekend and saw me just before christmas (and obviously regularly before then).

I don’t know i guess i’m just posting here for a bit of support and if anyone has any advice?

Thanks for reading this far i know it was a long one x

Sorry to hear he’s reacted so badly. I’d be tempted to just block him for now to give him time to process and calm down and so you can concentrate on you and your baby. Do you have support around you from family and friends? You can absolutely do this alone and just because he doesn’t want to tell his family doesn’t mean you can’t tell them down the line. As you say they have a right to know.
Hope you’re ok. I’m sure someone will be along with better advice soon x

 

[littlepup]

Any ladies in third trimester doing perineal massage? I’m planning to start today after a warm bath haha.
Just wondering how frequently I should be doing it ?

This link below gives a transcript of all the research, pros and cons etc.
I tried, didn’t get on with it S I couldn’t figure out if I was doing it right, ended up with a c-section anyway

EBB 216 - The Evidence on Prenatal Perineal Massage for Preventing Tears in Childbirth with Dr. Rebecca Dekker - Evidence Based Birth®

evidencebasedbirth.com

 

[AT_16]

Sorry to hear he’s reacted so badly. I’d be tempted to just block him for now to give him time to process and calm down and so you can concentrate on you and your baby. Do you have support around you from family and friends? You can absolutely do this alone and just because he doesn’t want to tell his family doesn’t mean you can’t tell them down the line. As you say they have a right to know.
Hope you’re ok. I’m sure someone will be along with better advice soon x

Thank you, i have blocked him on everything so he can’t keep contacting me. I do have lots of support, everyone is really pleased and excited which is lovely. Thank you for your advice i am glad it’s not just me thinking his family have a right to know x

 

[raspberryjuice]

Thank you, i have blocked him on everything so he can’t keep contacting me. I do have lots of support, everyone is really pleased and excited which is lovely. Thank you for your advice i am glad it’s not just me thinking his family have a right to know x

For now just concentrate on yourself and that little miracle you’re growing you can deal with his family and his tantrum in a few weeks but for now just minimise your stress by blocking it all out as much as you can. He’ll either step up when he’s processed it all or he’ll walk away completely - and either is ok if you have support around you. But for now the priority has to be you and baby. Congratulations x

 

[littlepup]

Thank you, i have blocked him on everything so he can’t keep contacting me. I do have lots of support, everyone is really pleased and excited which is lovely. Thank you for your advice i am glad it’s not just me thinking his family have a right to know x

It’s a long way off but if he doesn’t want anything to do with baby, and you don’t want financial support, I’d suggest you don’t put him on the birth certificate. Check out the legal rights you’d both gain and lose by doing so.
If he makes further physical threats, report him.

 

[freddofrog]

It’s a long way off but if he doesn’t want anything to do with baby, and you don’t want financial support, I’d suggest you don’t put him on the birth certificate. Check out the legal rights you’d both gain and lose by doing so.
If he makes further physical threats, report him.

you don’t need him to be on the birth certificate to get child maintenance from the father FYI. birth certificate gives parental responsibility!

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

I bought the oil from My Expert Midwife with my first pregnancy. I think it’s recommended from 35 weeks around 3 times a week.

I very briefly attempted it and it was not for me my husband offered to help me and I very quickly told him to do one I couldn’t figure out how to reach down there comfortably because my bump was in the way! I think some people suggest doing it with one leg up on the bath but seemed equally as strange/difficult to me

There is definitely evidence to show it helps though so go for it if you can figure it out!

Thanks to everyone who replied. Quoting this post with an update.
I’m 36 weeks now. I also have the my expert midwife oil.
Tried it today sat on the loo post warm bath. An article suggested a number of positions. It was difficult to reach, I managed it but it was uncomfortable.
Might try again in a couple of days with the leg up on the bath but think then it’s one side at a time.
I will not be asking my OH to do it so if it’s still challenging I might give up
I have started doing some daily stretches with my birth ball which are supposed to be good for prepping for Labour.
But I think ultimately what will be will be!

 

[justonemorepage]

Thanks to everyone who replied. Quoting this post with an update.
I’m 36 weeks now. I also have the my expert midwife oil.
Tried it today sat on the loo post warm bath. An article suggested a number of positions. It was difficult to reach, I managed it but it was uncomfortable.
Might try again in a couple of days with the leg up on the bath but think then it’s one side at a time.
I will not be asking my OH to do it so if it’s still challenging I might give up
I have started doing some daily stretches with my birth ball which are supposed to be good for prepping for Labour.
But I think ultimately what will be will be!

It's probably not helpful but my absolute fear was tearing during child birth. I think I worried more about that than the actual birth itself. My labour was incredibly quick (only 4hrs of contractions and I gave birth in the car ) so because of how quickly I birthed, I tore from front to back tbh because of the adrenaline I didn't feel a thing. I didn't even know I tore until they examined me after, although I wasn't surprised. The stitches were pretty bad but I had gas and air and they also inject local anaesthetic and I think I had numbing gel too. That was 6 weeks ago now and I think I've pretty much already forgotten the pain of it all. Adrenaline really is a wonderful thing in these circumstances I also didn't find it too painful while healing either. Hopefully you don't end up tearing but I just wanted to share my story, as someone who was absolutely terrified of it, yes it was bad in the moment but once it's over and you start to heal from it you soon forget how bad it was. I'd say after 3-4 weeks I was pretty much healed and had forgotten how painful it had all been. Best of luck!