I have many dating stories
Valium dude (as mentioned in Ick) - he was actually quite sexy, local dude, he invited me over to his asked me to make him a brew and emerged topless with a pigeon chest and packs of valium. Suggested we take them all together, I declined my usual dose of 15mg a day does me fine. He then proceeded to scoff the lot with his brew. He must have eaten 150mg valium probably a lot more! I thought he was having an overdose but according to him the right amount to get a "decent buzz". As said in the Icks. He had a tank full of fish, which he spoke to and all had names. The names you would find on people, such as Stephen and Bernadette.
Leg less wonder - had been dating some dude as a late teen, after my first serious break up. Had only ever seen him in his car, as that is where I got speaking to him outside a DJs vinyl shop I used to hang out at. Often went for drives in his car, got stoned somewhere remote, listen to music, talk loads and share the odd kiss, always very late at night, never went any further, he was OK as a friend but that was it for me. I not once, questioned why he controlled the car like a puppet with this contraption, but decided to ghost him when he put me off, he would speak of devil worship alot, how he is planning to sell his soul and started wanting me to come out for drives every bloody night, despite making me get out and push the car when it got stuck in the mud in a field! I kept ignoring my phone one day, when my sister questioned who it was. I told her, she told me she knew him quite well through the pirate radio scene, he is a bit weird and claims he worships Satan. He also had no legs so drove his car with a contraption and to, as he is known for being quite persistent with people in general. She started winding me up, how I didnt notice he had no legs. I had dozens and dozens of missed calls. She said he would crawl on his arms and turn up at my dads door to see me. I shat myself. Thankfully he didn't.
. Luckily we had a laugh about it and 17 years on he’s now my husband!
Definitely thank the universe on that one.
he was full of shit but easy on the eye second date was at his flat he opened the door and was stood in a pair of white linen type trousers 
I just couldn’t look him in the eye made my excuses and went I wish I could unsee that image
but laughed it off as most guys probs have this! He was always a bit quiet on message and I never felt like he was that interested but thought it could just be him... one Friday evening he told me he was going out with some mates, didn’t think much of it.. 3am comes and someone’s banging on my front door (I live with my mum), my mum ran to the door worried it was a relative or something urgent and shouted who is it. “It’s your daughters friend” I instantly recognised the voice. I was mortified and terrified. He only dropped me home once and he lived far away so had no idea how he remembered. He was messaging to let him in, I hardly knew him at this point. I sent a text saying leave right now or I’m calling the police. Didn’t dare open the door. He disappeared and sped off, clearly drunk driving! He hit something driving off as it made a loud bang. Think it was a bin or a kerb or something. We went back to sleep and the next morning I text saying what was that about and he apologised and said we should just leave it... I was happy about that. A while later he randomly text saying he had issues with alcohol and his mental health and he was really sorry for scaring me and my mum. Never spoke since. Really put me off online dating, although months later I met my current boyfriend on POF and we’ve been together 10 months and he’s amazing.
