Online dating horror stories!

[Deepsigh2018]

Not creepy exactly, just found it funny/odd as an opening message

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I actually quite like that message

I got my first message View attachment 42365

He has not replied

welcome to the club

This is my latest offering. I really should just get a cat lol

 

[Catwinky]

32???
Someone had a hard paper round

 

[ScrambledEggs]

I once went on a date with a nurse, he seemed lovely , I met him when I gave blood. I was pretty much having my cake and eating after a 5 year relationship . Anyway we all know men look good in uniform .... well fck me he turned up looking like Del Boy and I’m not kidding I made my excuses and left our date early in tears ... tears of boredom . When people say bored to tears I now know exactly what they mean.

 

[Deepsigh2018]

I received this message today. I thought I recognised the guy in the picture so reverse image searched and it turned out to be Cody Walker, the brother of the late Paul Walker who was in the fast and furious franchise catfishers I don't know why they waste their time.

 

[Catwinky]

Straight from being ignored 5 times to ‘we could have sex’
Jesus Christ man, I am dreading if I ever have to date again I think I’d rather be celibate

Sometimes I wonder if i'm insane for turning down such a wonderful offer....how could any woman resist?!

 

[Clickbait]

I have many bad date stories but I’ll share a couple of the funnier ones - I started chatting to a guy on a dating site and agreed to meet him for lunch. We met at a pub and he asked if he could hug me and then before I could answer he grabbed me in a sort of death grip (my arms were by my sides) and held on for way longer than was comfortable. I think he was also sniffing my hair.

He had a very thick Irish accent so was difficult to understand but the gist of his conversation was that he tried to be a gentleman and always pay for dinner but that no women wanted to see him after date 1. I definitely didn’t and so I was more than happy to pay for my meal! He got up and said he needed to go to the toilet, and I watched him go in the opposite direction to where the toilets were which I thought was a mistake, but then he just sort of stood behind a pillar. I got my phone out to text my flatmate about what a weirdo he was and then he sort of jumped out and came back to the table saying he thought I was going to do a runner. I told him that wasn’t my style and he said he knew it wasn’t. He then sat back down and finished his drink. I thought it was odd that he’d not been the the loo but guessed maybe it was some kind of weird test. Once we paid we stood up to leave and that’s when I realised that he’d actually wet himself at the table... He must have needed the loo but been too scared to go

We walked outside and then he asked me if I’d like to come and have a lay down in the park with him. It was February. And raining. I said no thanks and that I needed to get home. I walked in one direction (the opposite to him) and headed to the tube. Got to the platform and realised that he had followed me (he’d lived close to the pub we met hence him choosing it) which was weird so decided to walk to the opposite platform and again he followed. Got on the tube in the opposite direction I wanted and then at the last minute jumped off at the next stop. I just caught his expression as the tube pulled away - confused and crestfallen. I think perhaps he was hoping he could follow me all the way home.

Had been chatting to the second guy for a week or so and we’d arranged to meet for a drink on the Sunday. We lived fairly close to one another and on the Sat I’d had a bit of an all-day drinking session with my flatmate. At some point late in the day he’d texted to say he was in my local area and we ended up meeting for a drink. Honestly don’t remember much about it - I was hammered - but woke up the next day to a text saying he was hungover but still fancied meeting for the proper date.

I turned up and he was very much not what I was expecting - shorter than me (a lot of men lie about their height) and quite a bit heavier than his photos which he admitted were a little out of date. His chat was awful - just went on and on about his job, politics, money etc. I’d had enough and wanted out so texted my friend to call me so I’d have an out.

Ten mins later I get the call from my friend and went through with our usual routine “oh no, what a nightmare... Yes, I’ll come back straight away!” Told this guy I was sorry but something bad had happened - my flatmate had started a small fire in our flat - and I needed to leave. He then looked at me for about a minute and said “Sex and the City right? You don’t remember that you told me last night that if you’re on a date you hate you get your friend to pretend something bad’s happened?” Awkward! Didn’t know what to say so I sort of snorted uncomfortably and then left

 

[Deepsigh2018]

Loving seeing the messages I have had some dodgy messages ill see if I can post them

These guys 1 message before asking me if I want to take part in a sex act another with his self pity lol and another with a clear copy and paste job.

 

[ReginaTatty]

Following my last post I feel like I should add something less drab to lighten the thread.

most of these stories are from Tinder (I’m 25 and been single for 7 years and on tinder for most of that)

- Met a guy at a hotel who after we had sex cried about his recent ex gf and told me he regretted sleeping with me (thanks babe)

- travelled America and got asked on a date in Boston. When I politely asked how much I could offer to the bill he said ‘just throw down a $20’-2 drinks plus a large tip- he had a well paid job and he’d asked ME out!! Got nothing on a spoons night out

Ended up sleeping with 2 boys who lived 40 miles from my house but they both lived a few doors from each other (same street) and we all nearly bumped into each other

Went on a date with a police officer, we got really drunk and ended up at his place where he handcuffed me while doing me from behind... I pissed the bed by accident while asleep and he still asked me out for a second date fml

Met up with a guy in a McDonald’s car park as a rebound bc I was sad about my recent break up with my ex... I took one look at his black buck teeth, horrified, told him I was gonna go through the drive thru.... I did but that but I as I drove out I sped to the exit and headed home

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

Dated a guy from a well known app after coming out a loong relationship. First couple of dates went well. Went to his house for the 3rd date (nothing like that happened thank god). Upon heading home, he was driving me to the tube, I made the mistake of standing behind him as he locked the front door and he let out the loudest, wettest fart. Admittedly I was a bit shocked, but figured “everyone does it”. We got in the car, I had to crack a window (in February) the smell was like something had died in his colon. I jokingly asked if he’d sh*t himself. He seemed unsure and said he’d have to check when he got home. Said our goodbyes, got on the tube. I then got a very excited call upon exiting the tube with him on the other end letting me know that he had not sh*t himself.

 

[SavetheDrama]

Online dating is absolutely wild. I can't believe the stuff I'm reading! I swear if my marriage doesn’t work out I’m heading straight for a nunnery

 

[Motherofboys]

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Oh ffs!! I’ve been the muppet to pay for tinder gold so I don’t have to swipe so much. Since last night I’ve had over 400 likes. I’ve swiped right on about 5!

One that I’ve swiped right on I’ve just unmatched. Wish I had screenshot the messages first he was putting me through an audition and had to go for interviews between 6.30pm and 10pm mon to thurs. I told him I prefer a telephone interview first via messages and he told me “nah I just want your gash babe” fuck. Off

 

[Deepsigh2018]

Im actually gutted my most recent messages have been boring just guys saying hi and a few actual decent guys having a nice conversation. These two guys though such catches

 

[PurpleRox]

Where to start
I had a date with a guy who insisted he drop me home, pretty ok date however zero chemistry on my part.
I know I know never get into a car with a stranger in my defence I was young.
I didn't want him to drop me home so he dropped me 3 roads away
Getting out the car he proceeded to lick my cheek -saying I've wanted to do that since I saw you. Wtf !!
Was so mortified I left blocked and never got over that awkward trauma again.


I had a date with a guy at an icecream place
He spent the whole time talking about his ex
Who had his child, was living in the property they once shared, who forged his signature and changed the child's surname, he often stood across the road and looked at his old home.
He was currently homeless and staying at a local church.
I wished him well and got in my car and had to smoke -hadn't smoked in months till this incident.

I have not online dated since

 

[Tea4u]

I was speaking to someone from Tinder since Feb(ish) and we had planned to meet up in March but then lockdown in the U.K. came into place. We messaged everyday and sent Snapchats but I always wondered why all his pics were from the same angle/not showing much of his face. I tried not to be a shallow person so continued speaking etc and “personality over looks” kind of person.
We arrange to have a socially distanced date when we could go to the park leisurely and it also happened to be the day after my birthday. He had told me how he was so excited to meet me and he had “so many surprises”, including flowers, chocolates and more. I turn up on the day and I see him from afar and I was shocked. Trust your gut instinct when you see pics and it’s just part of their face in certain angles. He didn’t try to dress up at all and he wore a tracksuit on a really hot day! I was in a dress. He had no surprise gifts or anything with him so I felt like he lied to me to come and meet him. His surprise place he took me for lunch was the KEBAB SHOP. I wasn’t expecting a 3 course meal but for someone who was telling me they’d give me the world, I couldn’t even finish my kebab because I wanted to go home so badly.

 

[SoManyLiars]

I met up with one guy who seemed nice enough, but he was a medium (still is, I think) and would spend time in some kind of "manifestation cabinet" . What really put me off him, though, was the fact that he carried a baton in his car.

 

[liarliarliar]

Hahaha this thread is hilarious

Not a bad story really but when I was about 17 I joined a sugar daddy site as a joke and got chatting to this guy. He was 49, pretty handsome and I liked older men. He was new to the site, had split with his wife and offered to pay me a monthly amount to go out with him a few times as he was lonely. I was too scared to meet him in reality as the site was creepy but he used to ring me often and we ended up really good friends and he used to give me the best advice. Bless him, I do wonder what he’s up to these days Wish I took him up on his offer looking back

 

[GeordieLass]

hi all - new here - sort of long story to start off with !

can't find the screenshot of it but a story went viral on twitter a few weeks back.

a woman had gone on a date with a guy from online and they met at a restaurant, lovely bloke, after a while at the meal she started to feel really unwell and said she had to go home.....

anyway, the guy insisted he take her home - as the date had gone well so far and she felt guilty for leaving early she agreed

he took her home , made sure she was okay and then left....

she went upstairs to bed and crashed out on the bed - she woke up early in the morning (drowsy and confused)
she heard a burglar in the house and called the police - she then hid

long story short, the police arrived and arrested the burglar - they wouldn't let her into the kitchen...

after pestering them to find out what the f was going on, they told her that the kitchen was covered in sheet wrapping and they had found a chainsaw and some weird kinky shit...

the burglar was the guy she'd had the date with, when he took her home he took her house keys and let himself back in a few hours later

how didn't she realise ? he had been drugging her the whole date ... she wasn't supposed to wake up


we all have our horror stories and not sure if there there is any truth in this one but it's not impossible - stay safe guys <3

 

[Catwinky]

Met up with a guy i had spent two month talking to online seemed such a lovely genuine guy.We were meeting in a car park to go for a little walk. We never got so far as the walk as i stepped out of my car he approached me and asked if he could ‘lick my nipple’. Safe to say i told him where to go and stepped straight back in my car and sped off back home. Never had such a what the hell has just happened moment lol!

A carpark? By the sounds of it the perv may have taken you to the local dogging spot

 

[Meg1912]

Yeah I noticed I was getting a few different foot fetish people on badoo, probably a lucrative business going on! Haha true Brogie could start a side business - Trottertatexo [emoji23]

Apparently that business is already up and running! [emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

I had a guy spit on my shoe once. He meant to just spit on the pavement but it stuck to his lip and fell onto my shoe. He then said his friend was ill and needed him so had to leave. I wasn't disappointed, the spitting alone put me off.

Also, it didn't quite get to a date, but I had a guy who seemed interested in me (hugging me, just hanging around whenever I was there etc). He asked for my number and suggested we should do something. I thought he was cute and nice so why not. Then he messaged me a few days later to say he was over eager and couldn't spare any time for a date... oh well.

I also went on a date with a guy who was 15 minutes late. I was going to leave and he turned up. I asked why he didn't let me know and he says he only tells people he's running late if he's going to be half an hour late or more...like what? Then he got quite drunk and pulled his trousers down in a bar to show me the bruise he got from playing rugby.

I've always been self conscious of my weight and one time I was on a second date with a guy. We were out for dinner. I had taken the day off to choose an outfit and get ready as I really liked him. I remember we were eating and he sat opposite me and he started talking about when he went on holiday and there were all these slim women in bikinis. Then he added "well, you're obviously not a size 8". I felt my face flush but I managed to hold it together. Then he suggested another date to a restaurant he likes that is all you can eat. And he then went 'well, you will obviously eat more than me'. Just seemed so unnecessarily cruel.

There is a word for the man in the last story...it begins with ‘d’ and Ends in ‘ick’ swiftly followed by ‘head’