Share your online dating horrors here i'm sure some of you will have some!
My most recent horror seemed wonderful when chatting online said he was a solicitor, was successful, had his own place, goes to gym at 5am every morning and had a brilliant sense of humour.
We exchanged pictures and he looked ok, we also spoke on whatsapp for 3 week before meeting.
We agreed to meet in a wetherspoons in the city centre.
He turned up in a majorly creased unironed shirt, uncombed hair, scruffy jeans, trainers and about 7 stone heavier than he was in his pictures. This was obviously disappointing but I decided to stay for a drink out of politness.
When ordering drinks he looks for the cheapest pint on the price list and pays in coppers, hardly a sign of a successful solicitor he claimed to be.
He immediately starts making extremely crude jokes about his female boss who is a law partner where he works where it turns out he is an office assistant not a solicitor 'he just says that cos he works at a law firm so it's easier to say that'.
We talk more, the house is a 'temporary' bedsit, his work let him do and wear what he wants because they know he'll just report them to an employment tribunal(?!), he goes home to his mums at the weekends; he is 35 and she's in the same city and he has a violent involuntary twitch/spasm (which he never mentioned) I ask what it is he explains and the sticks his tongue out and says 'I make an excellent vibrator.'
He then proceeds to witch about his ex who he is apparently in a custody battle (never mentioned when chatting online) with as she stopped him seeing his son for no reason and be could send to prison for it anytime he wanted but he won't because 'he's too soft on her.'
About 25 mins into this I know I look visibly uncomfortable but he takes no hint and suggests we go somewhere quieter, I make my excuses and say i'm off to get my bus he insists on walking me to the stop.
We walk from the bar and come to the hill the stop is at the top of and he says 'you didn't tell me it was up a hill and I don't do hills.'
So i say 'surely someone who goes to the gym everyday and went on 15 mile hike last week would love it.' Only at this point does he look like he knows he's being caught on a lie.
At the bus stop when the bus pulls in he trys to kiss me with tongue so I pull away and leap on the bus and he storms off in a huff.
Officially the worst and shortest date I have had!
My most recent horror seemed wonderful when chatting online said he was a solicitor, was successful, had his own place, goes to gym at 5am every morning and had a brilliant sense of humour.
We exchanged pictures and he looked ok, we also spoke on whatsapp for 3 week before meeting.
We agreed to meet in a wetherspoons in the city centre.
He turned up in a majorly creased unironed shirt, uncombed hair, scruffy jeans, trainers and about 7 stone heavier than he was in his pictures. This was obviously disappointing but I decided to stay for a drink out of politness.
When ordering drinks he looks for the cheapest pint on the price list and pays in coppers, hardly a sign of a successful solicitor he claimed to be.
He immediately starts making extremely crude jokes about his female boss who is a law partner where he works where it turns out he is an office assistant not a solicitor 'he just says that cos he works at a law firm so it's easier to say that'.
We talk more, the house is a 'temporary' bedsit, his work let him do and wear what he wants because they know he'll just report them to an employment tribunal(?!), he goes home to his mums at the weekends; he is 35 and she's in the same city and he has a violent involuntary twitch/spasm (which he never mentioned) I ask what it is he explains and the sticks his tongue out and says 'I make an excellent vibrator.'
He then proceeds to witch about his ex who he is apparently in a custody battle (never mentioned when chatting online) with as she stopped him seeing his son for no reason and be could send to prison for it anytime he wanted but he won't because 'he's too soft on her.'
About 25 mins into this I know I look visibly uncomfortable but he takes no hint and suggests we go somewhere quieter, I make my excuses and say i'm off to get my bus he insists on walking me to the stop.
We walk from the bar and come to the hill the stop is at the top of and he says 'you didn't tell me it was up a hill and I don't do hills.'
So i say 'surely someone who goes to the gym everyday and went on 15 mile hike last week would love it.' Only at this point does he look like he knows he's being caught on a lie.
At the bus stop when the bus pulls in he trys to kiss me with tongue so I pull away and leap on the bus and he storms off in a huff.
Officially the worst and shortest date I have had!
It was a long time ago when online dating was kinda laughed at so you never admitted to it, but I have a few:
I politely said I had work in the morning so no thanks. Gave the security guard at my office a good laugh, tho.
I wished him well again and said im not interested. He bombarded me with messages all day insisting that I should at least get to know him. I told him I felt the age gap was too big he tried to manipulate me by saying men my own age in their 30s are not looking to settle down 
in the end I got fed up of the harassment and blocked him.
lick my cheek -saying I've wanted to do that since I saw you. Wtf !!