One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[Freedomofspeech89]

If I was on that Facebook group I would be telling her to put her big girl pants on now and get Raven into a routine. One feed before bed and then to sleep she goes in her own room. Moment of pain for a lifetime of gain. This all could have been done gradually if she had done this when she was pregnant but she didn't. I do generally feel for her as she is suffering terribly. But now she needs to put in some serious boundaries and Dean needs to also grow a pair and help enforce these changes. I seriously worry about her mental health if she doesn't get her act together with this.

 

[Beanpop442]

Thread suggestion: ‘that’s so Raven is the show, shame Pea can’t say no!’

 

[FraggleRock]

That poor baby is never out that sling..It can't be a good thing! I've got kids and I never had or wanted 1

Not one to defend Pea, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Ember being in a sling - there are lots of benefits to baby wearing, one being you can keep your baby close and have your hands free, this is great when you don’t want to put your baby down, or you have a baby that doesn’t want to be put down. Lots of people use wraps and slings now, don’t knock something because you never tried it, or wanted to - baby wearing is a good thing in my book, and in lots of other peoples too!

 

[Beebumble]

Not sure if this has been said but in regards to the Facebook post about Raven wanting to feed every time Ember does- I think it’s probably a jealousy and ownership thing from Raven! Not wanting to share her mother with her baby sister- but I don’t understand why pea can’t see that and realise that she’s got to teach Raven early on that embers needs are just as important as hers! And Raven needs to learn to share. Tbh it’s even more important- the baby needs all of the milk and Raven is stealing it. Greedy little sod PEA JUST TELL RAVEN NO FFS

 

[Peakyblinders]

I don’t get this either, he’s on paternity leave, he needs to pull his weight instead of lying in bed until god knows what time, why can’t he get up and help Pea out on the mornings, if she’s doing all the night feeds and get Raven sorted whilst Pea is dressing herself and Ember?

I think we all know this isn’t dean not wanting to or not being willing to. It’s pea not letting him. So don’t think we should be all “poor pea” “dean needs to pull his weight” the poor man isn’t even allowed to sit on the sofa Cos Raven doesn’t let him

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

"Why's she so massive?"

Why is she in a bouncy chair, on the table, NOT STRAPPED IN??" All it takes is Raven to have a paddy and give that chair a shove, and she's got a serious situation on her hands. And we all know Raven lashes out because she posts about it on Facebook...where she thinks nobody can see it

 

[Heather343]

Even the birth story isn't loving and references Raven more than Ember

 

[Here_for_entertainment]

There is nothing wrong (under normal circumstances) about giving your baby a bottle of expressed milk (or formula) but yet again it’s so that Raven comes first.
Also has she ever expressed before? It’s incredibly time consuming and she’s already got her hands full feeding two children.

 

[Smiffy1990]

As horrific as losing a child is and how scary giving birth in a pandemic is that does not free you from all criticism across all subjects. That's just not how life works

 

[TruthTeller1036]

I have lost a child. I'm also about to give birth in the middle of a pandemic, like Nicola. I do not regard myself as special in this way especially the giving birth in a pandemic because well Ember was planned. so was my child. We knew what we were getting ourselves in for with the pandemic.

This does not give Nicola the right or the golden pedestal to blatantly put her bratty 3 year old who should really be weaned by now in my opinion above her newborn baby that RELIES on her. Raven could pretty much start doing some thinks independently now or even start asking when she wants. I really think she is experiencing attachment issues with Ember due to the fact she looks like Winter and it breaks my heart to see. I really hope she realises or even a family member makes her realise before she forms no bond with this poor baby

 

[sassmaster3000]

I'm not breastfeeding my newborn when he's here for personal reasons and I think she would have me arrested

how DARE you! Those are not your breasts, they’re his!!

I follow an American woman on insta who had a double mastectomy a few years ago because she carries the BRCA gene, and she’s just had a baby, and people are still asking her why she’s not breastfeeding. Honestly there’s no bloody winning is there.
I think when/if I have children, I might just tell all the nosey people that I’ve chosen not to feed them full stop, because we’re just going to vibe off good energy instead

 

[Whatajoker]

Have we seen her stories about her 'prep' for a nursery morning? Jesus Christ. How long does it take to get a bowl out of the cupboard in a morning?
And she layers Ravens clothes because she 'famously' hates getting dressed? Erm...
Nothing wrong with the prep overall I guess but she's so patronising. Is she the only mother ever to get clothes out the night before? And where the fuck is Dean? He's on paternity leave but does nothing and has Nicola out with two kids in the morning... How much is her not allowing him to be involved and how much is him not bothering?

I don’t think it’s not that Dean is not bothering. I think Pea wants and has total control over these kids. What she says goes. All the time. I think the latest story is hilarious. She has a ‘routine’ for the mornings. For a woman who is dead set against routine. I found it priceless.

 

[Beebumble]

You can 100% tell Raven is her favourite it makes me sick!!! Raven does not need milk if she’s snotty she needs calpol and plenty of water which would probably benefit a 3 year old more in my opinion! Nothing really against her breastfeeding her but I think Ember as a NEWBORN should take priority. Not mentioned as an afterthought on her post. I literally hate pea

 

[Bex1504]

I also think the removing stigma doesn't really apply. I've fed all of my kids beyond 2. Never felt the need to broadcast it but if it's come up in conversation literally no one has said anything. Because no one cares anymore! People accept you can do what is best for you as a family. I do find it quite disturbing how little privacy she affords her children.

 

[sunchaser19]

This will be of no surprise to anyone on here, but Raven and her demands of Pea are causing a massive strain in the house. From what I hear things are pretty much at breaking point! Exactly what you all say on here, things could MASSIVELY be solved if Pea actually parented R and put some boundaries in to place, but she won’t. Poor Ember is all I can say.

 

[CelinaRoger]

As horrific as losing a child is and how scary giving birth in a pandemic is that does not free you from all criticism across all subjects. That's just not how life works

Plus she literally chose to have a baby in a pandemic, not like she was pregnant before last march, she got pregnant mid pandemic, so yeah I'm sure it's a pretty crap thing to go through, but that's the choice she made.

 

[HAB88]

As crunchy as the inside of Dean's borking hat. Struggling to manage a toad and a brat.

 

[Macmama]

While I truly do want to feel sympathy for Pea, she has literally made this bed of her own accord and she needs to learn that boundaries are not a bad thing. I’d consider myself a gentle parent and Pea would probably agree with a lot of what we did. I tandem fed my middle two with 10 months between them, and mine all fed until about 2. I used cloth. I co-slept. I’m a big supporter of attachment parenting.

Difference is, our house has a fairly strict routine. My kids have a bedtime and it’s not optional. We discipline them. They don’t get to hit. They don’t have a choice when we say no. This idea that gentle parenting involves never saying no, never disciplining your children, allowing them to have free reign is so far off. Kids need structure. They need guidance from the adults in their lives. The point of gentle parenting is modelling and directing behaviours you want your child to grow up with. All Pea is modelling is how to have no personal boundaries, no routine in your life and how not to look after your own mental health. She is doing Rae zero favours.

Side note - her relationship with Ember is clearly not there yet, and she is struggling with having her and ‘golden child’ Rae. You need to reach out for help, Pea, for your own mental health as well as the future. This is a poor foundation for any sibling relationship.

 

[Peanut0205]

Soo... has she killed Dean off and turned him into slow cooked lentils or what then? #whereshegone

 

[missmarmighty]

sorry for your loss. So do you know her and dean personally? What are they like in real life?

Thank you- I do, I knew Dean first from quite a young age and then met Pea through him. Ended up being around pea a bit at uni and stuff so got to know her a bit better and then and sort of lost touch with Dean and knew Pea more then when she lost winter we stayed in touch a bit as I offered a lot of support but it then wasn’t reciprocated when I lost my baby later down the line so we definitely lost touch at that point as I felt hurt.

Dean is a lovely lovely guy but I can see why he wouldn’t want to be all over insta as he was a fairly private person anyway. His appearance has changed so so much since I knew him, he was always so clean looking, had dyed blonde hair! & was a bit kind of preppy. He’s so funny too. Pea always seemed nice but has always pretty much talked about herself and been a bit condescending so I can see from the responses that she’s given why she would come across like that...