One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[Hollyxx]

Pea is just a lazy parent Sucks to say but she tries to come across as this all knowing, all doing, messy play queen. But it all seems quite lazy to me. Ice Lolly for breakfast? Lazy, make some nice pancakes with fruit, she often feeds her stuff she can grab like 3 yogurts, an orange and an apple for lunch, it’s just all sugar, I find it lazy. Make her a sandwich. No routine, it’s just lazy to not put effort into making things easier for your family by implementing some routine. She doesn’t teach her anything, road safety (I’ve seen her crossing the traffic lights near her house) it’s scary to watch. So actually all this pretentious motherhood shit doesn’t wash with me. I could sit on the sofa and let my kids trash the house, eat sugar for meals and run off from me when out and about but I don’t. We are all lazy sometimes, but she is ALL the time. But likes to present it as ‘gentle parenting’. It’s not, I’m a gentle parent and it really isn’t how she portrays it.

 

[ceecee454]

I think Nichola needs to give herself that piece of paper when it comes to being a gentle parent to Ember..

yes! nowhere in sarah ockwell smiths second baby book did i read “leave your newborn to cry whilst your older kid guzzles all the colostrum”

 

[BeckBeck]

At first I was going to stick up for her and say.. well giving a bottle of expressed milk is absolutely fine if she needs to take R to nursery. But then I thought hang on, if she is leaving the bottle for someone else to give her like grandma. Then grandma can surely take R to nursery while she feeds at home and has a rest that’s the easiest option. When I had my second baby, other mums on the school run were lovely and offered to take and bring my first child home. When husband was home he would go get first child from school etc. Because I was needed at home during those first few weeks to constantly feed. She needs to let other people do stuff for her. Even during the pandemic, if you have a baby you are allowed an extra support bubble. Her mum/a friend etc could take r to nursery while she rested.

I also flirted with the thought “well she’s maybe trying not to make the same mistakes again, and trying to get Ember more socialised with her family than Raven was etc”

however, she continues to treat Raven exactly the same. There’s ZERO effort or intent to change anything with the Queen.
This plan isn’t to help Dean be more involved with Ember, it’s solely to allow Nicola to pander to Ravens every whim.

I think her behaviour is shocking and, like others have said, I hope she realises this herself.

 

[Me&My]

I said it in the last thread and will say it again the new baby is gonna be Matilda, outcast, pouring her own breakfast at 9months, cooking herself a fry up because she’s sick of eating slop at 1 yr old.

 

[Booboothefool]

My heart breaks for Ember.
How can you be ok with having one child that has to be fed to sleep, has never slept away from the home, only away from Nicola when at nursery and won't let dad do anything at 3.5 years old. To openly saying that I'm going to unnecessarily give my newborn a bottle and deprive her of a feed to ensure my eldest is happy constantly. The umbilical cord was cut 3.5 years ago Nicola, you need to ease off!!!

 

[sunchaser19]

Sorry I can’t believe we have someone on this thread who knows pea! I am livingggg for this! Tell us more about Damon haha

There is so much I could say, but she DOES read here and I don’t want to put my friend in a position that gets her in to “trouble” - remember she’s not gentle with adults!
I just read here and find myself nodding because so much of it is exactly what goes on. Raven regularly lashes out at adults, is rough and uncaring to other children, never gets told no or gets told off. Pea is setting her up for a difficult life as she does not get boundaries at all!
That Facebook group she posts in is her reality, Instagram is a lot of lies and pretending it’s all fairies and unicorns.

 

[sunchaser19]

I know for an absolute fact that Dean is not on board with her parenting style. Her family have no choice but to pretend they’re on board now because she kicks off if they say they’re not!
And I also know for a fact that reading here is her jam . She’s so edgy, so alternative, so different .......

 

[tippingpoint]

Oh dear that book thing is horrible! I would really love to know exactly what the woman in question was doing. Maybe she lost the rag a bit like we all do. What is it these Instagrammers always say when people complain about their story content? “You only see a snapshot of my day, you can’t judge me on that” I feel similar logic could maybe have been applied here? She saw a snapshot of another mums day. I truly believe if what was happening was horrific / abusive / dangerous then recommending a bloody book wouldn’t be the route to go down!

 

[CelinaRoger]

She is setting raven up for a life time of believing that she can take take take from anyone she wants, regardless of the effect that has on the other person, if shes not careful raven will grow up to be one very narcissistic adult.

Shes also teaching raven that its okay for people to hit her if she doesnt give them what she wants and also that body autonomy means absolutely nothing.

 

[justfortonight]

‘She’s busy I can eat’...?

SHE IS 3 AND A HALF. Wouldn’t it be Ember who is stopping Nicola from eating? I remember being trapped under a feeding baby for hours but Raven is a pre-schooler, literally just say ‘I’m going to have something to eat now Raven.’

I don’t understand any of it I really don’t. Does Raven tell Nicola she wants her to watch her absolutely all the time? And then obviously Nicola never says no to her? I could not spend that much time playing with my kids, not only is it really bloody boring it also doesn’t teach Raven how to play independently, which is clear because she kicks off at nursery when the attention isn’t on her.

 

[Hollyxx]

At first I was going to stick up for her and say.. well giving a bottle of expressed milk is absolutely fine if she needs to take R to nursery. But then I thought hang on, if she is leaving the bottle for someone else to give her like grandma. Then grandma can surely take R to nursery while she feeds at home and has a rest that’s the easiest option. When I had my second baby, other mums on the school run were lovely and offered to take and bring my first child home. When husband was home he would go get first child from school etc. Because I was needed at home during those first few weeks to constantly feed. She needs to let other people do stuff for her. Even during the pandemic, if you have a baby you are allowed an extra support bubble. Her mum/a friend etc could take r to nursery while she rested.

 

[RLdeletedme]

Does anyone get annoyed by her referring to herself as "Pea"? She's called Nicola, not Pea. It's a crunchy mum thing, to make up a floaty nickname, and I feel we're indulging her entitlement by calling her by it instead of her actual name.

Used to know lots of crunchy mums through my job. There was a Flea, an Imp, a Kite and a Leaf. Their actual names were just normal names like Susan, Karen, Claire and Beth

 

[justfortonight]

It’s just mad to me that Raven gets a grid post and yet another gushing essay - and ember hasn’t had a single one since she was born?

‘I miss her, I miss us’ she is literally inches away from you 24 hours of the day, how can you miss her? You haven’t been torn apart by something terrible you’ve had another beautiful baby - celebrate her, don’t resent her because she’s keeping you away from Raven.

 

[Freedomofspeech89]

Anyone else wince when they saw R sat on top of the table? It might be just me but I’ve always made sure my daughter sits properly at the table. It’s just basic manners and I wouldn’t want her going round to peoples houses and thinking it’s acceptable to do that

 

[Booboothefool]

i know ravens a bit of
an annoying nob sometimes (if it’s nasty to call a 3 year old that then i’ll
take that title of nasty) however,
first thahs not her own making she’s a product
of her environment and she’s like this cos of how she’s parented by nicola. second, whilst also being concerned about ember, this whole relationship between nicola
and raven concerns me/ she’s a child and a very young
child at that, being the emotional crutch for a parent has the potential to cause untold
emotional damage to her!
it’s not ravens responsibly to
make
nicola feel “whole” or whatever bullshit she’s been spouting today. putting that much responsibility on a child (i’m sure she doesn’t say it to her but
the feeling will be there) is horrendous

My siblings and I were (and still are) our mother's emotional crutch and I can honestly say its given us all issues as adults, I've been to therapy and I don't have a relationship with her anymore.

She is damaging both these girls.
I literally dream of being 'burdened' by a beautiful baby like Ember.

 

[Crazymum]

As an educated person that worked in a school with 6 kids I’m going to say Pea get in the bin. You are damaging your children. You are the one with issues.

 

[Peakyblinders]

I use a slow cooker liner. I'm not lazy, I'm disabled It makes things much easier for me and washing the pan isn't as easy for some as it is for others.

Seems you’re just taking offence to this just to take offence. The poster was talking about pea.... pea isn’t disabled

 

[missmarmighty]

I hate the whole ‘we’ve got this mama’ drives me nuts

 

[Peakyblinders]

That Facebook post is utterly ridiculous. Making me hate pea and Raven even more. This is all peas fault and I literally honestly have no sympathy for her at all.

 

[Peakyblinders]

I think it will be really interesting to see what Pea is like with ember when she is a toddler. Will she be following her round every minute of the day with 7399339 different activities and filming her do it? Somehow I don’t think she will. She be too busy breastfeeding a 10 year old Raven and hiding in the school bushes.