One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[TheLastLolo]

Just think, if Raven didn't start self-weaning til she was 3.5 and then picked it up again out of jealousy... Will she match Ember feed for feed until Ember self-weans? Breastfeeding Raven til she's 7 because she doesn't want to 'break her heart'. I still maintain she'll pull the plug on breastfeeding fairly early with Ember and say she refused it or something, as a way of weaning Raven and not upsetting her.

Let's all say it together now, TELL RAVEN NO.

It doesn't need to be aggressive or anything, she can do it in her sickly sweet voice with her 'i want to wear your skin' smile (amazing, whoever said this first btw!) but the time has come where she absolutely MUST set some boundaries for her own sanity and the safety of her newborn because if hitting is 'normal', what else is normal? Nipping Ember? Biting her? I'm not saying the hitting was directed at Ember, I'm guessing more likely Pea, but still. Where do you draw the line when you've never successfully drawn a line before?

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I don't get the knickers inside trousers thing. She needs to learn to dress herself, and I would have thought this would actually be more fiddly? Don't get me started on ice lollies for breakfast

Oh, and GET THAT KID OFF THE DAMN TABLE!

 

[Theplantmum]

Anyone seen the latest post? Dean's arm is featured! He's ALIVE!

 

[Cat_scratches]

I'm sorry but I have zero sympathy for her. She's made this (family) bed and is now realising that it was the wrong choice.
Queen R needs some discipline and routine, but we all know that will never happen because discipline is a dirty word.

In regards to her book and reaching out to her: I have said this before but, I had an ectopic at 11 weeks, I was seriously ill, the hospital had messed me around and I ended up having emergency surgery, loosing a tube and now have secondary infertility as a result. I reached out to her and I got a reply of, 'that's a bummer' yes really.
I read her book and did actually find it very useful, it covers all types of loss and is actually like it's written by an empathic human.
I also bought it for someone who suffered a 36 week loss and she also found it helpful.

 

[BethanyGilbert]

My heart breaks for Ember. She literally only had her to prove she could tandem feed!

 

[sunchaser19]

Must have been really hard to cut Ember’s cord with Raven’s still being attached

 

[justfortonight]

My god she’s annoying. ‘These are the resources we use’ ‘this will be her maths and fine motor practice today.’

Why does she view herself as Raven’s teacher? Why does Raven need to be taught something every single day? She’s 3 years old.

Having been thrown into homeschooling because of lockdown, I have no idea why anyone would do it through choice, let alone with a kid who doesn’t even go to school...

 

[sunchaser19]

Also, when Raven was born she made a special trip to the memorial garden and did a lovely post about meeting her brother. She may have been and not posted it, but there’s been no mention of Ember meeting her brother at the memorial. And they’ve been near the memorial because they’ve been to Markeaton park which is down the road! Just makes me think that Ember isn’t special to them at all. Really really sad.

 

[Peakyblinders]

Didn’t see this shared on last thread, but apologies if I missed it.
So even before Ember was born she was planning on focusing her time, effort and breasts on Queen Raven!!

Omg this is absolutely awful. I don’t care about breastfeeding, I don’t plan to breastfeed and I hate the whole “breast is best” thing: but WOW why has she even bothered having another baby? When all of her attention and love is clearly taken up by Raven. Feel sorry for this baby already I do.

Recap from previous thread:
- Raven is still a brat
- Raven is still breastfeeding at age 21
- dean is still wearing the same hat
- pea is still a twat.
- oh.... and she’s had a baby called ember but you wouldn’t really know as it’s all about QUEEN RAVEN

 

[sunchaser19]

And believe me, Raven has not “aced” the transition at all! Quite the opposite! So that’s a lie. I really feel like Raven should have been their last child. Which may sound awful, but Pea only really wants Raven - so why did she have another baby? What was she hoping for by doing that? Poor poor Ember.
People are trying to step in, she’s having non of it. Those around her are at their wits end with her.

 

[Peanut0205]

Did she!? When!?

I think about 6 months ago, someone posted it in the first thread (I think, could be wrong). Said she didn’t have the time for them I mean, cats don’t like breast milk and playing with Cheerios so I can see why it was such a struggle for her.

 

[Peakyblinders]

He’s probably still in bed, or sat on his arse playing computer games

If Ray carries on the way she is, behaviour wise towards other kids, I doubt she will have any friends wanting to stay over, she’s an entitled brat now and she’s only 3.5, god knows what she’s going to be like when she’s older!

where has this bad feeling towards dean come from? Who says he lies in bed or plays computer games?See this is why I hate pea because she makes everyone think this when really, we all know dean isn’t even allowed to sit on the same sofa as queen R. I feel really sorry for him.

 

[maytoseptember]

Ice lollies for breakfast... just no. Say no.

Some uber crunchies are big advocates of letting kids eat whatever they want, whenever they want. They believe that kids instinctively know what their bodies need, and if they want ice cream for breakfast, it’s OK, because their bodies will crave vegetables later.

(My children’s bodies would instinctively ask for biscuits, cake and chocolate for every meal).

 

[Peanut0205]

This thread gets me so internally conflicted I feel like James McAvoy in that film 23.

There are so many things I strongly dislike about the girl but then having read some of these comments on the thread from loss parents and having never experienced a late term loss like she and some of you sadly have, it must just be unthinkable. As in, my brain can’t even compute how awful that would be, so I do feel sympathy towards her as well, especially as Ember is the image of little Winter, it must be so bitter sweet.

I also think she must 100% have a form of PTSD and probably PND, in which case she needs a support system around her to point her in the right direction.

But then on the other hand she makes everything so bloody hard for herself and she has created a monster in Raven, and it’s not even ravens fault as she has been raised to believe she is the axis the world revolves around.

I used to know this girl who was mixed race and I remember once when I was younger I fell out with her over something super petty and she said a throwaway ‘oh your just being racist’ and went home and told her black father about it, who basically told her that not everyone who doesn’t like you is a racist, you can still be an arsehole regardless of skin colour, she took this on board and we were back to normal the next day.

I think pea is the same in the way she makes me feel, she wears the loss of winter as a shield against people having a negative opinion of her, but the way she parents and preaches and the feelings it generates in people (namely us on the thread) have nothing to do with that?

What a ramble. Hopefully it made sense

 

[Cubalibra]

Jesus christ woman. Just stop feeding Queen R

Jesus christ woman. Just stop feeding Queen R. Could someone answer her question realistically please. I can’t because i have people i know in that group. Its breastfeeding older babies and beyond.

 

[Sorrybutno]

Jesus christ woman. Just stop feeding Queen R

Why is it all about R ‘ just had her baby sister’ No, you have just had another child who deserves the same love and care you gave R. R has had her 3.5 years of bf tell her no! She is bringing this all on herself its also not ‘understandable’ why your child is hitting you it should never be understandable!

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

I think it’s important to remember how Nicola does GP isn’t how most do. It’s mainly about acknowledging emotions and giving autonomy where you can, not only doing what you want and never hearing the word no. In the GP group I’m in someone posted about wanting to be gentle and being child led in when they eat as a family and when the toddler goes to bed, she’s 20 months! Way too young to make such big decisions! Some people just don’t get boundaries are so fucking important with parenting in general. You have to brush your teeth, you have to go to school, etc.

 

[missmarmighty]

Everyone surrounding her is scared to upset her. Frightened to challenge her. Her own behaviour is mirrored exactly in Raven. Pea claims shes a gentle and understanding parent, but she’s not a gentle and understanding adult. Everyone has to do what she wants or she’s not very nice about it.
she’s nice to her dad apparently, but he gives her money so She doesn’t have much choice does she.

Though all of her Buddhist practicing would’ve made her more level headed & nicer. Obviously not!

I live in Derby, not far from Pea and I know exactly where she lives - I’ve looked up how much the houses on that estate sold for and it’s on average around £240,000 so not on the cheap side, but I think that’s average for Derby, I wonder whether they got help towards their deposit as they were renting for years before, and it’s difficult to save for a deposit whilst renting.

Im really curious, how did you end up coming across her thread? You said you were a lurker, but your profile says you only just joined today - are other people who know her aware of her thread on here at all?!

You can read everything without joining- I only know because that’s what I did before joining

 

[sunchaser19]

That’s just ridiculous, it’s not like Dean is someone on the outside offering advice, he’s her Husband and the Father of her bloody children, parenting should be a team effort not her doing what she wants and ignoring Deans wishes or input, he has a say in how his children are raised. I think she clearly needs to stop being so pig headed and accept some bloody help and actually let Dean parent. If she’s not willing to accept help when she’s got issues, then she should stop bloody moaning is she’s not prepared to be part of the solution!

Everyone surrounding her is scared to upset her. Frightened to challenge her. Her own behaviour is mirrored exactly in Raven. Pea claims shes a gentle and understanding parent, but she’s not a gentle and understanding adult. Everyone has to do what she wants or she’s not very nice about it.
she’s nice to her dad apparently, but he gives her money so She doesn’t have much choice does she.

 

[Justwanareadfunnythreads]

Poor Ember. Thats all i can say. At least she has her dad, he may be able to have a relationship with her though, unlike R. Im actually disgusted with the comment where she let Ember cry out for a feed, days old, while her 3.5 yo sucks on her tit, taking all of the much needed supply of milk that SHOULD be for her newborn. She needs serious help, and Dean needs to grow a pair and tell Nicola the baby should be priority for feeding!!