One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[TheLastLolo]

Just saw the q&a. So basically she plucked the ones out that apply to things said here and is gonna berate the forum indirectly via blog posts. When someone asked for more information about Ember's birth - 'I did this'. Hardly... She's still marvelling at Raven's birth 4 years later. There's no sense of newness with Ember, no discovery. Does anyone understand what I mean? She's not in awe of this brand new little person, she's just dragging her along to watch the Raven show. Omg.. 'That's SO Raven'.

 

[TheLastLolo]

I tend to find anyone that resorts to this emoji so early on isn't actually prepared to discuss any POV that's not a carbon copy of their own.

No one has said she hasn't lost a child. I think we have all said at some point how we empathise or can't even imagine the gravity of her loss, therefore sympathise with Nicola. No one has discounted her giving birth during a pandemic.

What's discussed here is how stubborn she is about any viewpoint on parenting that isn't her own, apparently to hers and her childrens' detriment (mentally, physically or otherwise) or at least that is the impression she puts out for thousands of followers to see. We discuss how we think that detriment manifests. We discuss how obscene we think it is that a 3.5 year old apparently dictates the running of the other members' of the households lives. Well, you've seen what's discussed. All information she puts out there for almost 20k people. She makes her childrens' lives public. She makes facts about her relationship and the goings on of her household public. She wilfully implicitly criticises parents and caregivers (nursery have been on the receiving end) on a daily basis with her breast is not only best but the only way mentality, her 'gentle' parenting which is akin to neglecting one child to sate the every whim of another, even the family's vegetarian/vegan lifestyle posts come across preachy sometimes. So what she does covertly, the people here do openly.

While it is true that if we don't like her we can just 'scroll past' or unfollow her, that same sentiment is true for you. Don't like Tattle or the thread, don't read it. But me saying that is akin to curating what others post and that's not permitted here. Your (was it?) 5 item list on how everyone else should behave would be right at home on Nicola's page.

And now notifications are coming through that my posts are being deleted because of reports of disruptive posting. So basically the 'new members' are here to censor.

 

[Spider12]

I can’t believe R is hitting because she’s been asked to countdown to come off the milk, after feeding every two hours!!! And just because her sister is. That amount of anger in a child (resorting to hitting) just because she can’t have something she wants (even though she doesn’t need it and has already just had it) is just absolutely unacceptable.

 

[rosalierae]

Oh my GOD I’ve wanted this thread for SO SO LONG - going straight to number 1 to catch up

So my main beef with this account is like what most others have said- I arrive really hard to be a ‘gentle parent’ myself, still breastfeed a child over 1, bed share etc etc. The thing is a) I don’t need to tell the world I do these things on a public Instagram, because the way I parent isn’t the concern of anyone else and also, it’s BORING for others to read and b) a MASSIVE part of gentle parenting is BOUNDARIES and finding alternative ways to prepare your child for the world in ways that take their development, mental health and emotional wellbeing into account, while also teaching them about autonomy and being a well rounded and helpful person. It is NOT about letting them do what the fuck they want with no regard for anyone else or anyone’s possessions. It makes me laugh that on her public insta she portrays herself as some wise parenting guru but privately on a closed gentle parenting fb group and extended bf she is there asking the most basic of questions. Then she will present to the world that she has all the answers. She’s been so smug because she works fuck all hours and had one single child who was practically a baby. Can’t wait to see how having 2 is going to smash her tranquil perfect parenting world

 

[Hollyxx]

her parenting comes from a massive place of privilege. She often comes across as judgey to....for example mothers who send their kids to nursery full time early on etc. But lots of mothers don't have this choice, my friend had to go back to work when her child was 6 weeks old because her partner left her with 2 kids and a mortgage to pay, she couldn't survive on maternity pay so back to work she went. She is a fantastic and gentle mother. Pea's life speaks volumes in privilege, she seems to even when she was working hardly work at all, barely part time. When she was working her family took care of R. Not many mothers have extended family to pass on childcare to. i certainly don't as they all work 9-5 themselves to bring in money to pay bills.

It seems she often refers to 'how she was bought up and the trauma' but her family is lovely, i know her family!! Her mum is the sweetest kindest person, she doesn't really know how easy she has it and how hard she has placed these made up values on herself and never references her privilege.

all these posts about R not wanting to go in the carseat and her taking an hour and the boob and gently getting in the car seat etc...privilage. If you have a job to pay bills to buy clothes for your child, you can't take an hour gently talking to your child about getting in the car seat, you say, you have to get in the car seat because we will be late. a natural consequence of me being an hour late to work every day because i can't tell my kid they have to do something is i lose my job and we go on benefits and can't make our mortgage payments and lose the cars. Privilege ha ha

 

[Cubalibra]

I think she knows that, I actually do feel really sad reading that the aversion is real and awful, and I imagine it’s just hell not wanting to hurt Raven but equally wanting and needing some boundaries.

I’ll be curious to see what the group suggests, it’s almost like she’s seeking permission to wean Raven almost entirely? 2 hourly feeding a newborn and a 3.5 year old is so so much.

Maybe i have woken up on the wrong side of the bed? I have no sympathy for her, she had 9 months to prepare Rae. She didnt do anything because she didnt want to get ‘rae upset’ which basically means she couldnt be bothered to set rules. She paints herself as
some all knowing, all caring parenting guru. So she should have done more to prevented this.

 

[sunchaser19]

Sooo much bull on her question and answers this morning!! “Luckily me and Dean are on the same page parenting wise” .... liesssssssss

 

[Peanut0205]

My daughter was born the same month as Damien and they are worlds apart. She uses cutlery, sits at a table to eat and asks if she can leave the table when she’s done. If I stuck her in a pop up pen so I could mash some lentils, spinach and ghee round a dirty pan that probably spits fat at my newborns head hanging out of the sling I’d be seriously questioning my life choices. Ah well, at least she can take a load off on the mattress now situated in the living room/come bedroom/come dining room/come classroom/come house of hoarders.

 

[TheLastLolo]

You're all so bad. Have none of you tried any water play on your carpet? How about throwing flour around in your kitchen? No? Terrible.

 

[TheLastLolo]

You're all my spirit animals.
I came on to say all these things and here you are, making my dreams come true.
That child's head was supported by prayer alone. Raven is the toad. 'No, you can't have an ice lolly, your teeth are already grey.' Whatever gets you through the day? What does she even do during a day? She doesn't cook, clean, take care of herself, why does she need to make that any easier?!
It's a testament to how heinous a mother is when you grow to despise her (obvious favourite) child. Urgh. I want to sympathise, I want to support but my God does she make it difficult.
Also... We need to put Dean on a milk carton. It's like he's vanished! She's all 'kept ME up all night', 'ME, MYSELF AND I'
I know he works but he works in retail, not the NHS. Surely he could do more? I'm starting to think her 'not letting' him is an excuse for him as much as her. What's stopping him saying 'Nicola, you are exhausted, go lie down, I can look after OUR kids for a couple of hours and if Ember needs feeding, I will come and get you'?
Also, not meaning to slate retail, I also work in retail, but it's not a life-changing job role, he can afford to be a little bit tired now and then? No? Am I way off the mark here?
Had a bad night with my own little toad so may just be grumpy

 

[TheLastLolo]

Anyone seen the latest post? Dean's arm is featured! He's ALIVE!

Or is he... Once rigor eases, you can pose corpses.

 

[Belulah]

“He lives here and needed to fetch his drink” What a way to have your presence in your own home explained!

 

[TheLastLolo]

It does look kinda dark... Or maybe it's just a piece of her dad's soul that she's chowing down on?

 

[PinkBlueShoes]

Thread suggestion: Ember's arrived, Raven's a brat, tandem's not working, who'd have guessed that!

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Instagram: "R is the best big sister ever, she's adjusted to the changes so well, and is so independent and happy."

Facebook: "My 3 year old has started breastfeeding again because she's jealous of her baby sister, and is lashing out because she's not getting her own way."

Bit of a contradiction going on here isn't there?

 

[Cubalibra]

Hold. Ember's. Head. Properly. You. Moron.

That would mean putting down the phone...she is fair too busy recording Raven playing. Not sure if she is ready to hear this but No.one.wants.to.watch.your.child.play.

 

[Peakyblinders]

I think what people are trying to say, is there’s nothing wrong with baby wearing at all but pea does it alll the time, because she don’t want to hold ember properly. Or because she needs her hands free to record Damien filling in a Poundland activity book wrong or breaking figures out of ice cubes.

 

[CelinaRoger]

No, I’m pregnant so probably just full of hormones! I think they had reached a point where she BF R less and so I think the wanting to feed every 2 hours has surprised her? I dunno. She’s knackered and a dick and now it’s biting her on the arse!

Yes but surely she knew if raven stayed in the 'sleep space' she would be woken everytime baby woke and would be jealous. She had a very long time to be very gentle and explain how things would be different, how ray would have to be a big sister and help mummy etc but she didnt, she was so up her own arse that ray was perfect and permissive parenting her had made her this wonderful adaptive child that she never imagined would have a problem with a new baby stealing rays lime light, that she ignored the whole thing and has created this mess for herself.

Shes got a newborn and mastitis fgs, she needs to feed raven to sleep if that's what she wishes, and then offer breast milk in a cup all other times, she needs to get ray her own big girl room so that she can sleep undisturbed, and she needs to take responsibility for the chaos she has caused herself by wanting to be Ray's sole nurturer and let dean and her mum step in and do dome fun stuff with ray for a few weeks while nicola recovers and bonds with the new baby.

Pp is hard, especially when you've got grief and another toddler to deal with, this woman needs to cut everyone a break before she ends up damaging the whole family.

 

[Kirsty1234]

I myself also reached out to Pea I sadly lost my son at 37 weeks pregnant a few months before she lost winter and I messaged her after I saw her book as I was going through a really bad patch. the way she made me feel like my son wasn’t “nothing” compared to winter was absolutely disgusting. My son was alive, a fully formed baby and actually weighed more than winter when he was born. But he doesn’t matter as much as winter because he wasn’t born breathing

 

[Serious_Susan]

I actually think pea would love to be a single mom doing all this as it would earn her more points

Oooh yeah it was thanks to me being the gentle single parent and that I breastfed my 17 year old before their driving test that they passed first time - no minors