One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[Cubalibra]

Her ‘look at me, i can look after a newborn and still do 101838281 activities with my child’ stories are just so fucking boring. Sitting there with a child properly engaging giving them attention is different to sitting there with a phone in your hand recording everything.

 

[Me&My]

I’m so so sorry for all your losses 🤍🤍🤍 can imagine her response. I think because she put him on the map with her story her loss is greater than anybody elses

Pea makes me so angry reading that?! Why on gods earth would you just not say No? Is she scared queen R might run to Dean or something. Also with her feeding through the night how is she not saturated if she’s still in nappies? Or weeing the bed?
Like you all say makes me hate Queen R and Pea for creating a monster. We used to go to a local playgroup and there was this little boy there that used to take all the toys of kids and his mum never said a word! He stole the pram of my daughter once she was playing lovely on her own and she looked at me heartbroken and sobbed like she’d done something wrong, how do you explain to a child that some children are just knobs because their parents create monsters? That would be Ray without a doubt. The kind of kid I avoid, awful to say but true.

 

[maytoseptember]

Wow, I am shocked at that. P would never in a million years have considered giving R a bottle of expressed milk.

And all because she wants to focus on child #1.

I really think she needs counselling. She’s been detached from this baby from the start.

 

[Peakyblinders]

Sometimes she puts ravens knickers inside her trousers ready Cos she doesn’t like getting dressed? Wow. Words fail me

 

[ceecee454]

just a thought but she might be keeping ember in the wrap to prevent any untoward assaults by raven? after all she can be “a bit hitty”

 

[missmarmighty]

It really does come across that Raven is the holy grail who came at the right time (P's words) and helped ease the pain etc. Then with Ember it's "well I guess we will have another child and give Raven the gift of a sister".
I want to understand being a loss mum myself but I just can't. My heart hurts for poor Ember, she's as much a blessing as Raven and she deserves to be her own person and P's world without having all this guilt and angst put onto her.
Can you imagine if she was to read her mothers posts in the future? It would break my heart personally.

(From a loss mum) I think although people can empathise, you’re right in saying people who haven’t experienced losing a baby can’t understand. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. However, I cannot understand Pea, I think her mental health issues are deeper than in direct relation to her loss.

We lost our first and then when we bought our next baby home alive the overwhelming notion of still being able to lose her plagued me. I’d never thought about it really until we bought her home. I’ve had some therapy and I parent my children normally-with boundaries and love. They’re not my emotional crutch. They have bedtimes

Fast forward to bringing our next baby home and a lot of those anxieties settled because I knew what I was doing but I did feel a sense of guilt over my older child being in her own room and I missed being close to her, but none the less we made the transition while I was pregnant for HER sake and it worked wonderfully once my new little girl arrived and the guilt soon eased once we found our new happy routine and I lapped up those baby snuggles with zero guilt and my older daughter joined in and loved being involved with her new baby sister.

I love them both equally, they’re both so happy and they have an amazing bond with each other. When we have our next baby the same will happen again, this time I know it will be ok so I think the mum guilt will be much less. But I have to say I don’t think a lot of Peas issues aren’t related to being a loss mum, they’re related to attention seeking and wanting to do things differently rather than for both of her children’s benefit.

Sometimes I have to take a step back and ask myself if I’m feeling a certain way because my first baby died or is this a normal way to feel. The fear of losing my children is heavily present for me due to my experience but that’s also any parents fear. I perhaps just think about it more because of my experiences but to put it simply but I would never project this onto my girls. They deserve to grow up strong and happy without the projection of my anxieties.

 

[Justwanareadfunnythreads]

What point is she trying to prove please. Letting R play in that cage thing at 8am. Sitting by her recording herself holding a little utensil full of rice and breastfeeding baby. Wow. She really loves the praise and people thinking she’s wonder woman. Why doesn’t she have a seat on the sofa , or somewhere comfy to breastfeed , and let her child play independently! After all she is nearly 4 she should be able to do that surely? Obviously providing theres nothing dangerous she could hurt herself with. My daughter has played independently for as long as I can remember and shes 6 now. I happily play with her whenever she wants!, but if im busy i know she’s perfectly happy to play independently without feeling alone and bored as i have gave her that life skill!!

 

[Hollyxx]

Long time lurker and first time poster here. So I know Pea through a friend and what you guys see and comment on is basically exactly right. Dirty house, Raven an absolute nightmare - my friend actually winces when Pea takes Raven to their house because she’s just so disrespectful towards her furniture and younger children. She will not accept any help at all, doesn’t listen to advice from anyone, but constantly moans how tired and exhausted she is. Close family and friends are extremely frustrated with her and sick of offering help/advice to then be knocked back. She was “gently” advised to put Raven in her own room whilst pregnant with E to make life easier for her - she didn’t listen. Always knows best and provides a problem for every solution. She’s just bloody hard work and my friend said that she doesn’t want to be helped. So No sympathy here!

i totally believe this, i have posted before about how i saw them at a market (might have been the fabulous places one). And she was letting R so far out of her sight and she was picking stuff up on other peoples stalls etc and i was cringing as it was so awkward. Nicola was laughing and saying ooooh she looooves balloons etc while she was touching them on someones stall. But the stall holder i could see was getting annoyed with the situation.

It is almost like Nicola is the centre of the world and how she choses to parent (letting R do anything she wants) then impacts on other people (the stall holder getting annoyed at a 2 year old touching and moving things that bring her income) and she thinks that is ok. Where as most parents would run over and say oh I'm so sorry about your stall and bend down and gently say to a 2 year old "those things are this ladies, we can't touch them"

Basically she is massively stubborn i imagine in every aspect of her life and a massive control freak. As R gets older she will see how that control will go and it will get much harder for her as R's behaviour impacts bigger on her environment. There is a difference between a 3/4 year old hitting and a 13/14 year old hitting, it ain't cute and its a big issue at that age.

 

[TheLastLolo]

It's taken her a month to write that and it's so impersonal. But Raven's post yesterday read like it had flown freely. Like someone else said, the first two paragraphs are more about Raven and their closeness, emotionally and physically.

I felt like I was having a baby so we went to the hospital and then I had the baby and then I went home and had my tea and went to bed.

Reads like a kid's story and we all know she's pretty good with words.

Also she had to get in an implication that she knows more than the maternity staff.
'I was surprised to be sent home because I knew I was closer to birth because I know everything'

 

[AfroCircus]

I literally said 'oh fuck no' at that clip of her tandem nursing. I know crunchy parents will take offence, but there is such a stark difference between a baby nursing and a literal child that I see why some people say it gives them the ick. I can just imagine R's little whiny voice 'no mummy I have milk too!'

 

[Michellememe]

The clue is really in the title she gives herself. She really should have eased Raven into this gently whilst she was pregnant. I understand that she couldn't alow herself to believe she was having a baby until it was safely home but, she really should have prepared Raven for the change. As hard as that would have been for her emotionally it would have been less hard than the situation she is now in.

I do think that she isn't going to look back on this time with any fondness at all because she is so disillusioned with the whole tandem bf thing. The struggle to bf a newborn can be so stressful anyway those first couple of weeks and she's just making it so much harder, near on impossible.

I feel like if she continues to do this she will not only leave Raven with bad memories of her time bf but also not establish a strong bf relationship with Ember. And I don't think this will do any favours in relation to her relationship with Ember given Pea's strong bf views.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Why the hell would you only have one cot sheet?

Also, she can have a support/childcare bubble right now. Get Dean to drop the laundry off with her mum, fuck the hoover, make do with a bath and a jug for hair washing. Come on woman, how are these things breaking you but never sleeping and having Raven (in general) doesn't?

Came here to say the same about the bubble. Send your washing to a relative, send Dean to the supermarket for a cot sheet, borrow a Hoover, get a bath.

She makes their life so much more difficult than it needs to be.

 

[ceecee454]

for me the issue isn’t even whether deans there or working, pat leave or not- when he’s there he’s obviously not allowed to play any role with that kid which is nicolas doing. the issue is why she can’t just say no to raven? if you don’t want to use the word no (fuck knows why) there are many other words including but not limited to not right now, not today, another time- and a bit of an explanation of mummy’s tired/whatever today. as someone said in the earlier thread, this would be a perfect time for raven to learn some empathy, and that needs to start with her few week old sibling and immediate family

 

[TheLastLolo]

It's often the case that there are fewer photos of the younger children.

This would be reasonable if she wasn't CONSTANTLY filming Raven. It's not like she's popped her phone down because now she has two children to take care of, it's that she likes one child more than the other apparently.

 

[Ht1234]

That latest post makes me sad...makes it really sound like Ember has ruined things Also what is going to happen in the future when Ember decides she doesn’t want to do something/go out or doesn’t want to get in a car seat (like R used to do)? What if she has to get R to school and Ember doesn’t want to?Will she wait it out until she’s decided she wants to? I think not!! Maybe now Pea will see how silly she was to let R away with all those things, and how that just doesn’t work in the real world

 

[tippingpoint]

I also think the removing stigma doesn't really apply. I've fed all of my kids beyond 2. Never felt the need to broadcast it but if it's come up in conversation literally no one has said anything. Because no one cares anymore! People accept you can do what is best for you as a family. I do find it quite disturbing how little privacy she affords her children.

I always think this. I never want to doubt anyone’s individual experience but I’ve fed in pubs, restaurants, supermarkets, shopping centres, reception areas, friends and family houses. I’m not a muslin gal either. Just straight up feed the baby. No one has ever so much as glanced in my direction.

I worked with a few girls pregnant at the same time as me who didn’t want to breastfeed because they thought it was somehow “creepy”. I bit my tongue on that one and hey you can give any reason as to why you don’t want to breastfeed so whatever. Proceed. However with Pea’s manic stare, stretchy nipples, very sentient child staring down camera shots are doing nothing for my cause that it’s not “creepy” the act itself OF COURSE IT’S NOT. The 1000 yard stare and gaze upon my nips smile my god yes

 

[maytoseptember]

The nickers inside the trousers thing boggles my mind. My youngest is the same age as raven. She can dress herself for pre school. Admittedly her outfit choices are interesting and sometimes things are on the wrong way but this is how they learn? She literally goes into her room and dresses herself. Independence is magical for children and she thrives off it. How is raven going to cope at school?!

My kids for sure couldn’t/wouldn’t dress themselves at that age, but the knickers inside trousers thing is just bizarre. If your child kicks off so much about having to get dressed you have to consolidate two simple steps into one just to save a few seconds, your child has issues. Even my autistic child, for all his quirks and differences, can cope with putting on underwear and trousers in two separate steps.

"Why's she so massive?"

I’m sure a similar post about baby Raven would be opining about breastfeeding helping her baby to grow so big, liquid gold”, how PROUD she is of her body for producing such magical nutrition for her magical baby, not minding one bit about the cluster feeds and sore nips, every minute of lost sleep was beautiful and worth it etc etc.

 

[Spider12]

What really shocks me with Nicola is how much she is prepared to risk her children’s safety just for the likes. She’s all about R making her own choices but is that R’s choice to have her literal every move posted on the internet for absolutely anyone to see?! Then she continues to upload extremely personal nipple shots and to me there is no need to show that much detail. Fine, show you are bf your 3.5 year old but can she not be a little more discreet? Why showing all her boob and nipple? There are some very scary people out there with access to the internet and therefore access to her beautiful children who have no say in what these people have access to. Working in a school, she will have had in depth safeguarding training so there are absolutely no excuses!

 

[Macmama]

Off topic from #nipslip but every shot of her feeding Ember is the exact opposite of feeding Raven. Her latch isn’t great, she’s practically holding that gorgeous wee toot off her body. Raven, on the other hand, is in true newborn latch - face smushed in, curled in close. It’s bizarre.

 

[CelinaRoger]

My 3 year old bit and hit me and his sister when she was born (I did closely monitor and supervise, moved baby and kept her as safe as I could) this passed after a while. I am fairly gentle and made it very clear hitting and biting is wrong, stopped him physically, said no and have clear boundaries around behaviour (i think!) None of this stopped him as he was working through his feelings and frustrations about the changes. I do think hitting and biting are normal for SOME children and doesn't mean you are a terrible parent if you kid does this.

Of course your not a terrible parent if you do this... sorry in my post I was more aiming at the fact nicola completely dismisses the hitting as is very blase saying it is normal etc, which leads me to think she just allows it as it's part of Ray's development rather than disciplining gently and explaining the feeling behind those behaviours