One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[CelinaRoger]

Nicola should maybe consider that parenting is really bloody hard for people who actually discipline their children rather than letting them run totally wild

Absolutely this, nicola thinks it's a dream and ravens a dream because she doesnt actually do any parenting, she just permissively observes raven from the sidelines rather than acting like a parent and teaching her child to be a functional member of society.

 

[tippingpoint]

I do worry how “extreme” gentle parenting prepares wee ones for the ungentle world we live in. I think gentle parenting is in general really great and hopefully we see a world of more kind and compassionate adults in the future as a result! However there’s school, work, all that. Sometimes you just need to do shit you don’t want to do but theoretically you have to. Even if the person asking is a dickhead. Even if you can’t be bothered. Kids should definitely be kids and ain’t nothing wrong with a bit of naked tv time etc but how is this going to progress?! How long does R get to do whatever she wants?!

 

[TheLastLolo]

Thread suggestion: No one knows what Raven is saying; let Dean sit on the sofa since he's the one paying!

 

[Peanut0205]

I know, little Ember is gorgeous too. There’s only one toad in that house and she’s got a 666 tattoo

 

[Mrspowell]

Just catching up from previous thread. Sorry but your newborn is screaming downstairs, hungry, but your upstairs nursing your 3.5 yo child as a priority?! I have nothing intelligent to say other than wtffffffff

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I would say not having a washing machine with a toddler and a newborn is pretty shit and an actual problem.

It is, but when you have a support network available to you, as Pea does, it's a problem with a solution. The time she spent recording herself moaning about it could have been spent phoning her Mum and asking her if she could do a load of washing for them.

 

[TheLastLolo]

There is raising your child gently and then there’s just raising them to not be able to deal with the world around them. If Pea wanted to live on a hippy commune like she previously mentioned it would actually go against how she parents now. As other mothers would actually look after R and E while she rested. The whole point of a commune is that it takes a village to raise a child. She can’t even hand hers over to her own husband and family for a night with grandma. On communes other mums feed your kid and co sleep while you get some much needed rest. I really think she doesn’t really understand what her parenting choice is.
I don’t know her personally but I’ve seen her around, I live in the same city, my mum kind of knows her mum, I used to see her working in topshop years ago etc. I think she just wants to be different from everyone else

Why does her version of being different translate as 'must be a humongous twat that no one can relate to'?
I think I'm different to a lot of parents. Do I pride myself on that? Not really, it's just how it's gone for us and we're happy. It's not an active, daily choice to be soooo outside the box so I can lord it over others. We're all just finding our way, aren't we? Parenting is hard. Even on the easy, smooth days it's hard. I don't know why she destroys herself daily, because Raven seems no 'smarter' than my son and I don't do the parts of a flower with him whilst nursing a newborn and suffering from mastitis. And Raven definitely isn't as polite or well rounded but I can't take all the credit for that either because he's well socialized, spends time with family, goes to nursery and is told no/taught to be independent. I don't understand her. Sometimes I feel sorry for her but mostly she just annoys me. She is killing herself and for what? Her husband is nowhere to be seen because he's seemingly being pushed out by her rude, spoilt brat of a 3.5 year old who's never heard a 'negative' word and she's absolutely exhausted to the point she looks 10 years older than she is, easily, and is crying out for help almost against her own will because we all know she won't take it when it's offered.
I do wonder what her relationships with her/dean's family are like because I'd like to think if my family saw me in the state she's often in, they'd step in whether I agreed or not.

 

[AfroCircus]

I agree with everything being said and honestly this is why I find 'attachment parenting' so deplorable, there is nothing inherently wrong with any of the things they advocate for but NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE MOTHER. I'm so sick of mummy martyrdom.

Also. Maybe I'm not informed enough about small children. But does anyone else find it odd that Pea says she is sobbing whilst feeding R? And I'm reading from that, that this doesn't deter her from feeding? My 6 month old responds when I'm upset. He has actually started crying a few times when I've been tearful. Why is a 3.5 year old not doing similar?

 

[Peakyblinders]

Pea makes me really dislike Raven. I know how ridiculous that sounds, I do. But I look at Raven and am just repulsed by this brat of a child. She even looks spiteful. And it isn't just Peas fault, it's everyone who doesn't say a word about it - Dean, friends, family...
She's so eager to detach from Ember but can't even comprehend the idea of being away from Raven. The night she had Ember, grandma had to sleep in their rancid sleep space. A normal set up would be for Raven to have slept at grandma's - or is that just me? She's made such a show of breastfeeding Raven for all this time but already wants to wean Ember at what, a week old? She just doesn't seem to love the new baby even half as much as Raven, she's presenting Ember like an inconvenience. Urgh she was crying downstairs. How dare she be hungry for Raven's milk? Oh FFS, she woke Raven, let's foist her off on Dean. She should be fucking ashamed. And I don't think it's all about grief at all, she was joined at the hip with Raven from day one and I would've thought the first baby after loss would be the hardest to bond with?

Correct me on anything I'm ignorant to because I've not experienced loss, I have one child, I'm not crunchy etc. Just saying what I see. And that is that Nicola is a prick and Dean is the biggest wet wipe there is, Raven is a little shit and Ember is all but neglected right now.

agree with every single word you’ve said and I couldn’t have written it better myself! I also have the same views of Raven and she TOTALLY looks spiteful! I can imaging her hitting and biting other kids at school

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

SUPPORT. EMBERS. HEAD.

If Dean is there why can’t she go take a shower and change her clothes? Oh yes yes martyrdom I remember now.

 

[TheLastLolo]

Painting the fucking bath? What the hell kind of activity is this? Why does she put herself through this crap?

 

[FraggleRock]

When?!? Did anyone get a screenshot?




That’s not a bad thing..

Right... just because we dislike the way she parents or how she acts, doesn’t mean we’re all complete monsters who can’t feel sorry for her for losing a child, we’re not heartless! Clearly she didn’t see it that way!

 

[Peanut0205]

She strikes me as the type of woman that would take someone looking at her slightly inquisitively as breastfeeding shaming and do a massive ranty post about it and how cave woman breast fed until their norks turned to stone and their children were wonderfully forward.

 

[emme1122]

Didn’t see this shared on last thread, but apologies if I missed it.
So even before Ember was born she was planning on focusing her time, effort and breasts on Queen Raven!!

I did not see this on the last thread, missed it if it was. So R can have breast but baby can't?? Thought she was all for tandem BF. I just feel for sorry for little baby E.

 

[Michellememe]

I feel sorry for R in that recording of her bf..that's not fair at all. She will be going to school soon - whatever type, if that settles her then fine, whatever - my son had a dummy at night until he was 4 and at school. I'm not criticising. But what I am criticising is her recording her daughter soothing herself attached to her - R looks so tired and is so drowsy there. Would she really want this moment shared to whoever happens to be following her mother's account. I love social media for some things but I find things like this morally wrong.

 

[AfroCircus]

I honestly don't get why we need such close ups of her feeding her kids. Either of them. She doesn't zoom in on Raven chomping on solid food so why on the nipples? What is it about, what does it achieve?

Lactivists like Pea attach moral superiority to breastfeeding, as opposed to just recognising it as a source of food for an infant (or preferably child). It's why so many of them are weirdly anti-weaning. I have seen many of pea's type resist giving their babies food until many months past the recommend 6 months.

 

[TheLastLolo]

Did you just called Raven Venom? Because I am crying

 

[Serious_Susan]

There’s a little boy at my sons nursery who hits and it really impacts my son. He says with relief that the boy hasn’t hit that day. Makes me so angry because I can hear the anxiety in his voice about it.

 

[RLdeletedme]

I absolutely hate people who use food for play. It's disgusting. There are children going hungry and you're using bags of rice for Venom to chuck everywhere. It makes me so mad.

Children don't need food for play. They don't.

 

[Cat_scratches]

So sorry to hear about your infertility She's totally facilitated raven's behaviour hasn't she?

Thank you it's been tough coming to terms with it, it's a long journey.

Yes she has, I've said it before and I'll say it again - she's not gentle, she's permissive.

No is not a bad word.
Preparing your child for the world isn't a bad thing.
Whats bad is allowing your child to think they are the centre of the universe and that nothing and no one else matters.
Imo, this isn't going to lead to a happy life for Raven