Niomi Smart #60 Eat not, prey, love bomb

[Lionsden]

The issue with her family is more she was obviously close with her mum, went to live with them for months during her previous break up. Gets a new man and sees them for one day in 3 months. And of her family are toxic, she has a younger sister who you'd think she'd want to keep an eye on.

There's an obvious distancing, and combined with everything else that is going on with Lordon it brings up questions. Is it a coincidence she distances from her family when she's suddenly dating an obviously controlling man?

Yes grown adult don't have to spend time with their family, but in Niomis case it doesn't feel like a natural distancing. She's also lost friends

Charlotte and Verity follow each other on Instagram and sometimes comment each other's posts. I can imagine Verity is unhappy with the way Niomi treated her old and loyal friend (who organized a surprise birthday party for Niomi not even a year ago...). Niomi's family has always been welcoming to Niomi's partners, they even embraced Forky and followed him on social media. Marcus and Joe seemed to like Niomi's family enough to visit regularly. Marcus even visited her grandparents in their summer home overseas with her. The time Niomi spent with her relatives went far beyond occasional polite visits. Obviously I can't see inside their true family dynamic, but I just find the possibility of an unhealthy relationship very unlikely.
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She's put up loads of staged lovey dovey pictures with Lordon. It's so weird

I like photos but of happy memories not of me with my are on show, legs wrapped around him. They've only been together 10 months

She could be putting up photos of her family, Noodle, and Daisy May, or drawings by Daisy May, because she hardly sees them. It's weird to put up pictures of the person you spend all your days with. It's not like she has pictures of Lordon on her desk at work. They are just assholes who are interested only in themselves.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

In her new insta post she makes Bali look so tit.

 

[prive0505]

That's not the apartment he owns, although it looks quite like it in style etc. Even the outside space and stairs which can been seen on her stories look similar. Makes me wonder if he/his family own a number of apartments in the same building and they were waiting for one to become available. I'm pretty sure the one he rents on Airbnb is in the same building as his father's offices.

She says the place is coming together, as if they're moving in for quite a while, and has put up photos of her and Lordon (just like she did in London), but they are only staying there until May, according to him. So they'll spend just a few weeks in this place before moving on.

I reckon that apartment in Dublin will be their base until they can figure out how to get a permanent visa for Bali. I’m not sure how about rent prices in Dublin but I can imagine it’s not as expensive as their £5K per month apartment in Kensington?

 

[irvinelane]

Good luck to anyone who’s gonna watch her new YouTube video. Given her caption, it must be all about her, her and her again. What else is new?

Geez, I hate when she does the voice-over as if her voice was so pleasant and relaxing to hear

 

[londongirl2001]

Still no word about leaving the Kensington apartment and getting their stuff from it. Or she really is using the shed as storage and just moved into the Dublin apartment with some clothes and photo frames.
„Moved“ used in the Niomi sense of the word of course, meaning it’s a place for a few weeks before another Bali vacay.

 

[irvinelane]

What an original description for her video..

 

[Callan]

I’ve been staring at the moon too much and drinking herbal tea, did I miss this being mentioned or is this news?

Guess the trip to London was just for the wardrobe pick up after all to take to the DublinDen, but at least she did see her sister for a little in the end.

There we were thinking those corny content houses were a thing of the past… what perils await here.

P.S.: personal gripe, couples only having photos of themselves on display.


View attachment 2088374

I'm a two pages of comments behind still but this made me laugh a bit, to Niomi "moving into a place" means putting frames pictures of herself and her partner lol. So its the 29th place she's lived in now?

 

[londongirl2001]

I'm a two pages of comments behind still but this made me laugh a bit, to Niomi "moving into a place" means putting frames pictures of herself and her partner lol. So its the 29th place she's lived in now?

She stayed in three different hotels in London this week, so surely we’re at the 32nd place ;D

 

[triesherbest]

Video is only 5 minutes long lmao. So low effort. Think I lost a few brain cells watching it

 

[ElenaK]

Watching her videos will make one never want to visit Bali. Maybe that's for the best. Why does she even bother to post, it's so low effort and embarrassing, not that she cares. 🥱🥱

 

[prive0505]

Omg. The video is a parody at this point before setting off on their moped to the beach at 6am, she looks through a hole in a wall that looks out to the temple to show her gratitude for Bali. (Yes, you really can’t make this tit up). She claims she ‘works’ from the afternoons until the evenings when in Bali… but at 17:35 she calls it a day (from staring at the screen) and goes to visit the banyan tree where she thinks she’s Pocahontas. She ‘listens to her’ ‘asks her questions’ ‘prays’ and ‘meditates’.

The tree looking back at Niomi:

at 19:30 shes back to watching rice grow at her apartment and pretends to eat a burger. In bed by 21:30 so John Smith Horseface doesn’t force her to eat any more chocolate. That’s the day in the life of Nimbo - Bali Edition

 

[cee-bee]

At this point she probably deserves Jamie, since it looks as if she just wants to have a permanent vacation in Bali for the foreseeable and he is one of the few people who’d be willing to do that.

do we know why she fell out with Charlotte? IIRC Charlotte set her up with joey, her dream guy and has been a good friend for years?

 

[curiouscat106]

Just going to leave this here…

 

[irvinelane]

She claims she ‘works’ from the afternoons until the evenings when in Bali… but at 17:35 she calls it a day (from staring at the screen) and goes to visit the banyan tree where she thinks she’s Pocahontas. She ‘listens to her’ ‘asks her questions’ ‘prays’ and ‘meditates’.

So she works for.. maybe 35 minutes? Reminds me of this:

 

[Coldfeet]

Watching her videos will make one never want to visit Bali. Maybe that's for the best. Why does she even bother to post, it's so low effort and embarrassing, not that she cares. 🥱🥱

She needs to show off her arse!

 

[laplusheureuse96]

Even her bright tribe doesn’t seem too enthusiastic, lol.

Love the second comment basically calling her a bore who’s got nothing going on in her head.

 

[Shutterbug99]

At this point she probably deserves Jamie, since it looks as if she just wants to have a permanent vacation in Bali for the foreseeable and he is one of the few people who’d be willing to do that.

do we know why she fell out with Charlotte? IIRC Charlotte set her up with joey, her dream guy and has been a good friend for years?

Charlotte was her oldest and best friend and she just cut her out of her life because she no longer 'served her.' This happened around the time she moved into the 5K flat with Lordon. My guess is Charlotte voiced concerns about the speed at which the relationship was moving (or maybe she straight up told Nims that Lordon is bad news!) and he advised Nims to cut Charlotte out of her life. The language she used while talking about cutting friends that no longer 'serve' her came straight from him.

 

[formerly_sitkx]

New video begins with some good ole bodychecking

Then, "despite the rain", they follow their morning routine and go to the beach while scootin in the best protective equipment there is: their skins

'
But Nims is not like the other girls, so she has a "morning ritual" before she gets on the bike: looking at a temple through a hole in the wall and "thanking Bahhhli for having me"

Then they hop on the bike and make their way to the beach. You can see all others in front of them wearing full on jackets and rain ponchos, while Nims wears her little teabag size bikini

We get an indie movie style romance shot

She says "no matter the weather in Bahhhli, we are always greeted by the happiest warmest faces" and inserts a clip of a frowning dog

She then of course records a cafe employee without his permission and inserts that into her video

She feels "it's important to show the reality of some parts of Bahhhli, like it's not the cleanest". Thanks for the insightful analysis of the socioeconomic divide and your own personal contribution to gentrification

She says "there's definitely parts of Changuu where there's litter on the beaches" and inserts a clip of herself. Take that as you will

Then they order their coconuts and she journals "yesterday was beautiful."

She randomly inserts words on the screen throughout the video

Wonderful shot of goosebumps because she wore a tiny bikini on a cold and stormy day to the beach

Then they go to a gym, which they visit "religiously" for about "2-3 hours a day", which sounds totally healthy and not at all concerning or orthorexic. It also shows, of course, what busy and productive lives they both lead.

Tattle drinking game: drink every time you see Nim's butt on social media. Winner is the person who survives the alcohol poisoning.
She says they sit in the sauna for 20-30 mins.

Followed by a "delicious lunch" and she'll "maybe read [her] book", emphasis on the maybe. I believe the books are more of an accessory that she carries around to place strategically on tables for other patrons to see and think "wow, she sure is smart!"

Then it's finally time to work! "The ethos here is working more efficiently in less time". That should not be hard, if work is responding to three sponsorship emails? I'm sorry but literally what is work for her? What does she do? She doesn't post on youtube, she does an ad on instagram here and there..WHAT is work??????? She pretends to work for 4.5 hours.

Smoothie bowl weather

Then she visits a "sacred healing tree" and "sits underneath her". She prays, meditates, asks the tree questions. "She's never felt this connection to nature in this way before".

Then she goes back and stares at the rice paddies, more accurately the Balinese people laboriously working on said paddies. Ahhh, nothing better than answering some emails and then watching other people break their backs on a rice field below...

Then after enjoying the fruits of other people's labor, she gets in bed by 9:30 and that's her day in Bahhhli.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Holy fire hazard with that incense stick randomly stuffed into a wicker placemat

 

[irvinelane]

New video begins with some good ole bodychecking
View attachment 2088653
Then, "despite the rain", they follow their morning routine and go to the beach while scootin in the best protective equipment there is: their skins
View attachment 2088663'
But Nims is not like the other girls, so she has a "morning ritual" before she gets on the bike: looking at a temple through a hole in the wall and "thanking Bahhhli for having me"
View attachment 2088668
Then they hop on the bike and make their way to the beach. You can see all others in front of them wearing full on jackets and rain ponchos, while Nims wears her little teabag size bikini
View attachment 2088672
We get an indie movie style romance shot
View attachment 2088677
She says "no matter the weather in Bahhhli, we are always greeted by the happiest warmest faces" and inserts a clip of a frowning dog
View attachment 2088679
She then of course records a cafe employee without his permission and inserts that into her video

She feels "it's important to show the reality of some parts of Bahhhli, like it's not the cleanest". Thanks for the insightful analysis of the socioeconomic divide and your own personal contribution to gentrification
View attachment 2088682

She says "there's definitely parts of Changuu where there's litter on the beaches" and inserts a clip of herself. Take that as you will
View attachment 2088686

Then they order their coconuts and she journals "yesterday was beautiful."
View attachment 2088690

She randomly inserts words on the screen throughout the video
View attachment 2088701
View attachment 2088709

Wonderful shot of goosebumps because she wore a tiny bikini on a cold and stormy day to the beach
View attachment 2088704

Then they go to a gym, which they visit "religiously" for about "2-3 hours a day", which sounds totally healthy and not at all concerning or orthorexic. It also shows, of course, what busy and productive lives they both lead.
View attachment 2088707

Tattle drinking game: drink every time you see Nim's butt on social media. Winner is the person who survives the alcohol poisoning.
She says they sit in the sauna for 20-30 mins.
View attachment 2088714

Followed by a "delicious lunch" and she'll "maybe read [her] book", emphasis on the maybe. I believe the books are more of an accessory that she carries around to place strategically on tables for other patrons to see and think "wow, she sure is smart!"
View attachment 2088720

Then it's finally time to work! "The ethos here is working more efficiently in less time". That should not be hard, if work is responding to three sponsorship emails? I'm sorry but literally what is work for her? What does she do? She doesn't post on youtube, she does an ad on instagram here and there..WHAT is work??????? She pretends to work for 4.5 hours.
View attachment 2088735

Smoothie bowl weather
View attachment 2088743

Then she visits a "sacred healing tree" and "sits underneath her". She prays, meditates, asks the tree questions. "She's never felt this connection to nature in this way before".
View attachment 2088745

Then she goes back and stares at the rice paddies, more accurately the Balinese people laboriously working on said paddies. Ahhh, nothing better than answering some emails and then watching other people break their backs on a rice field below...
View attachment 2088753
View attachment 2088754

Then after enjoying the fruits of other people's labor, she gets in bed by 9:30 and that's her day in Bahhhli.

Your recap is gold thank you for the good laugh! I guess her video is an umpteenth nonsense to her credit.