Niomi Smart #47 IV drips, no helmet scooter trips, wishing Lordon would close his lips

[Clover123]

View attachment 1475922

Dear Lord every time I see him I swear he gains another 5 gnashers. He must be a medical marvel in the orthodontist world!

 

[Callan]

100% agree! I like this quote from Neil deGrasse Tyson: “The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation."

Niomi is always searching for things (men, money, iv drips) to fill a void. I doubt she's happy when she's alone. It's all for show.

I've always liked Neil but that's pretty brilliant. Alan Watts is another favorite of mine

 

[chausette]

Is she trying to copy horsey with her smile? She really does mold herself to every man she meets
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Honestly, this photo looks everything but natural and happy (the colour/tone is so tit!). She also looks like she just threw her wedding to have that pose, this is the best explanation I could help her with this bizarre body position and emotion

I guess the photographer told her 'okay, for the next shot, pretend you are very happy'

 

[cocochino]

Honestly, this photo looks everything but natural and happy (the colour/tone is so tit!). She also looks like she just threw her wedding to have that pose, this is the best explanation I could help her with this bizarre body position and emotion

I guess the photographer told her 'okay, for the next shot, pretend you are very happy'

It's such a bad photo! It looks like she'd bending over to fart.




Also, I just found out that Lordon went to Fyre Festival. LMAO the scammer got scammed

 

[curiouscat106]

Agreed. I split up with my ex of 4 years at the end of 2019 and rebounded SO fast… I was all over SM about how happy I was but non of it was actually real or meaningful. I just wanted to prove something to people and rub it in my ex’s face. All while wishing spite on happy people. Then the pandemic hit, rebound over, months of lockdown on my own, serious depression… took me a good year of solitude and (guess what!) therapy to get me through. Now I’m actually happy it doesn’t occur to me what people think, there’s no desire to brag and I only wish the best for others Nims is bleeping light years away from happiness at this point.

Also, can we spare a thought for her little sister - the poor kid is going to be trapped on a boat with Lordon Jesus McDonkey. She’s going to have nightmares for months!

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

HOW is this guy a better option than Bradley!?

He's tall.
Niomi like to be the dainty fairy next time her big tall man.

I'm still confused by Holly playing matchmaker too. Did she DM Nims out of the blue to say she should meet up with her brother in Bali? Niomi is definitely dumb enough to meet up with a complete stranger in this way - she doesn't seem to have a great sense of her personal safety. I guess it's also possible they had some mutual friends in Bali.

I presume he'll be on the boat since he's back in London with her. He doesn't leave her out of his sight, huh! It'll be interesting to see if Verity follows him on IG after she has spent some time with him. I'm hoping Verity or someone close to Nims will see through this guy and warn her off (not that she'll listen).

Regarding the matchmaking, I assumed Holly messaged Jamie to inform him that the newly heartbroken, twice dumped Niomi smart of Gleam infamy and influence was in his vicinity and he should try to slither on over and win her heart. He could be an insta husband amd never have to work a day in his life again.

The gatehouse (shed) was put up for sale about 45 days ago according to a quick Internet search, just before the Bali bonkathon. It's currently 750k if anyone is interested in snapping it up.

 

[coriander]

So if she's selling the shed, what about the green sofa? This witch really needs to get a life, she always changes her plans because of a guy.

 

[Jackie Daytona]

Forky was just as much of a scammer. He stopped her on public transport because he recognized her and told her they should “collab.”

I don’t think Big Tezza would care if he was using her as long as he had his own money and royal connections, so no, I don’t think she’s worthy of”warning” Niomi at all. Like who is she to tell anyone they’re not good enough for Niomi?

 

[pointblankperiod]

Niomi getting ready to post on IG

 

[annieeee]

Niomi getting ready to post on IG

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Slightly altered

 

[irvinelane]

I have a theory that Lordon is just a very good talker and can bullshit his way to a vulnerable woman's heart & mind quite easily (well, being tall is also a bonus). He definitely pressed on Niomi's ears about how unique she was, that the destiny lead her to Bali. He's a big advocate for going with the flow and living in the moment, so that is probably what attracted her to him more than his looks.
I think he can talk and talk and talk and talk, unlike Marcus and Joey, they were kind of #silentgang. Forky likes talking but... you know... it's like having a convo with a 15yo. So Lordon was a breath of fresh air for vulnerable Niomi. But again, how blind do you have to be to not see that behind all that talk is a creepy ass dude?

That’s very relevant. As he’s a life coach (by the way, what the heck is that?), he probably has some stock phrases that ring Niomi’s bell. He definitely tells her what she wants to hear.

Besides, funny you said yesterday He's a big advocate for going with the flow and living in the moment, so that is probably what attracted her to him more than his looks. and a few hours later, here she is, posting precisely something about that. So predictable

 

[therlieann]

I’m just catching up on everything and am in complete shock over her new relationship. I’ve known of Jamie for about 10 years, I remember always seeing him in Dublin night clubs and had some mutual friends at the time. He always grossed me out, it was so obvious he wanted to be some kind of famous. As far as I know neither he nor his sister have worked a regular job a day in their life. He’s had to reinvent himself multiple times and I had no idea about this new ridiculous chapter in his life, but not surprised at all. Looks like he fled Dublin when he finally realised he wasn’t going to take over the entertainment scene. His sister is even worse, I’ve met her multiple times and found her so painful to speak to. She’s been “an influencer” for years and has never managed to take off, in Ireland which is a small influencer as it is. Her cook was a complete flop and only managed to get it published through family connections. Niomi really could do so much better! At least shes had some success and made real money. These two scammers live out of the bank of mummy and daddy and are in their late 30s.


*small influencer industry
*cookbook

The only reason they hang out with Niomu is probably in the hopes that she will give them what they have wanted for a long time. Sad really.

 

[lolessa]

ok so i’ve been a lurker of niomi’s thread literally since the beginning and finally felt compelled to make an account just to let you all know how much i appreciate the humour & commentary you’ve all been providing me for such a long time, but especially in this awful new Bali era

i’m an indigenous woman and, without providing too many personal details, come from a small country that has a violent colonial past & struggles to this day with cultural (and physical) erosion hugely exacerbated by uncaring tourists. it makes watching Niomi so ignorantly swan around Bali with zero understanding of or respect for the local culture and environment feel physically painful—i can’t even bear to watch her YT vids or Insta stories anymore, I just rely on you all to keep me updated

all this to say I became so emotional as I was catching up on this latest thread and saw many of you calling her out for her ignorance on the matter. i know this forum attracts a diverse set of people from all around the world with many different backgrounds, so it really moved me to see such an understanding of the impact tourists and digital nomads can have on local communities and environments if they don’t know or care to be mindful. i just wish it was people like you all who had the platforms and privilege to become the influencers and digital nomads of the world, not the smoothie bowl weather Niomis.

anyway, thank you all for the entertainment and the rants, back to lurking i go!

 

[irvinelane]

ok so i’ve been a lurker of niomi’s thread literally since the beginning and finally felt compelled to make an account just to let you all know how much i appreciate the humour & commentary you’ve all been providing me for such a long time, but especially in this awful new Bali era

i’m an indigenous woman and, without providing too many personal details, come from a small country that has a violent colonial past & struggles to this day with cultural (and physical) erosion hugely exacerbated by uncaring tourists. it makes watching Niomi so ignorantly swan around Bali with zero understanding of or respect for the local culture and environment feel physically painful—i can’t even bear to watch her YT vids or Insta stories anymore, I just rely on you all to keep me updated

all this to say I became so emotional as I was catching up on this latest thread and saw many of you calling her out for her ignorance on the matter. i know this forum attracts a diverse set of people from all around the world with many different backgrounds, so it really moved me to see such an understanding of the impact tourists and digital nomads can have on local communities and environments if they don’t know or care to be mindful. i just wish it was people like you all who had the platforms and privilege to become the influencers and digital nomads of the world, not the smoothie bowl weather Niomis.

anyway, thank you all for the entertainment and the rants, back to lurking i go!

Your comment makes me feel a bit emotional, don’t know why. Thank you for sharing

 

[oshare]

Pahhfect #gifted #AD for Niomi "Smart"

 

[AshMay]

I thought forky was an ick but lordon is ICK personified, I feel like shrivelling up whenever I have to see him and those gnashers 🥲

(I'd have more to add but I always have pages and pages to catch up on and you guys sum up everything perfectly and hilariously anyway )

 

[mg95]

Lordon sighting She thinks she’s so clever posting the back of his head. I swear his only appeal to her is that it could be mistaken for Joe if you had no idea what an unappealing mug was on the other side. Can’t believe he made it on the family trip where they’re all staying in close quarters. That’s too much too fast!

 

[#ad#aff]

Lordon sighting She thinks she’s so clever posting the back of his head. I swear his only appeal to her is that it could be mistaken for Joe if you had no idea what an unappealing mug was on the other side. Can’t believe he made it on the family trip where they’re all staying in close quarters. That’s too much too fast!

the cult’s day out

 

[QueenBW]

Lordon sighting She thinks she’s so clever posting the back of his head. I swear his only appeal to her is that it could be mistaken for Joe if you had no idea what an unappealing mug was on the other side. Can’t believe he made it on the family trip where they’re all staying in close quarters. That’s too much too fast!

Sending blessings to the man whose arm covers Lordon's massive gnashers. I can just imagine he had his mouth hanging open with that unintelligent look in his face.

It's so obvious that he's just using her. I'm disappointed on Big Tezza letting him board She must be dying at the thought that her great grandkids might have THOSE teeth.

 

[irvinelane]

Was it also good to be back in London? As usual, she’d rather post something to brag about.

Sleepy.. but gonna film myself anyway.