Niomi Smart #47 IV drips, no helmet scooter trips, wishing Lordon would close his lips

[meowmeowmeow3030!!]

I don’t understand why she thinks Bali is so amazing every day the same shizzle, eating smoothie bowls and spa treatments. Sure for a holiday..but long term no thanks, it’s surely going to wane eventually as will her relationship with lordon of the teeth.

It reminds me of a quote from sex and the city where Miranda yells ‘yea it’s all so hot three days in!!’ to a couple all over each other on their holiday. The reality of dirty socks on the floor and lordon forgetting to buy the milk (I mean non fat oat milk) are just around the corner nimmers

Tattle thread by @pointblankperiod, a female with litcherally the best sens of humor.

Recap:
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Joe looks like a disappointed dad at the end of his tether

 

[pointblankperiod]

I don’t understand why she thinks Bali is so amazing every day the same shizzle, eating smoothie bowls and spa treatments. Sure for a holiday..but long term no thanks, it’s surely going to wane eventually as will her relationship with lordon of the teeth.

It reminds me of a quote from sex and the city where Miranda yells ‘yea it’s all so hot three days in!!’ to a couple all over each other on their holiday. The reality of dirty socks on the floor and lordon forgetting to buy the milk (I mean non fat oat milk) are just around the corner nimmers

The thing with Bali is... I can not picture myself living a life where people are basically in service for you 24/7. Does Niomi clean her bungalo herself? Does she cook herself? Does she even washes her own clothes? Obviously life is so fun when the only thing you do yourself is wipe your damn ass! I will never understand how can you roam through Bali streets and don't feel like a bleeping white colonizer lol. It's one thing when you visiting for a quick holiday, but to lead a lifestyle like that, I'd feel uncomfortable as hell. But maybe it's just me

 

[kalechips]

The thing with Bali is... I can not picture myself living a life where people are basically in service for you 24/7. Does Niomi clean her bungalo herself? Does she cook herself? Does she even washes her own clothes? Obviously life is so fun when the only thing you do yourself is wipe your damn ass! I will never understand how can you roam through Bali streets and don't feel like a bleeping white colonizer lol. It's one thing when you visiting for a quick holiday, but to lead a lifestyle like that, I'd feel uncomfortable as hell. But maybe it's just me

Yes! The thought of a bunch of rich white trust fund kids being waited on by locals is just so egregious and gross... She has big colonizer energy, I would be ashamed to live that way

 

[meowmeowmeow3030!!]

The thing with Bali is... I can not picture myself living a life where people are basically in service for you 24/7. Does Niomi clean her bungalo herself? Does she cook herself? Does she even washes her own clothes? Obviously life is so fun when the only thing you do yourself is wipe your damn ass! I will never understand how can you roam through Bali streets and don't feel like a bleeping white colonizer lol. It's one thing when you visiting for a quick holiday, but to lead a lifestyle like that, I'd feel uncomfortable as hell. But maybe it's just me

I agree, niomi would never think of those things she’s so far into her own ‘soul’ journey. She seems unable to see other peoples reality or empathise with them. She has the mentality of a young teenager she gets to live with no responsibilities. No cooking no cleaning just the beach and boys.. it’s not leavers week nimbob time to wake up and smell the responsibility you are 30 after all. The penny has to drop one day for her surely

 

[November_again]

The thing with Bali is... I can not picture myself living a life where people are basically in service for you 24/7. Does Niomi clean her bungalo herself? Does she cook herself? Does she even washes her own clothes? Obviously life is so fun when the only thing you do yourself is wipe your damn ass! I will never understand how can you roam through Bali streets and don't feel like a bleeping white colonizer lol. It's one thing when you visiting for a quick holiday, but to lead a lifestyle like that, I'd feel uncomfortable as hell. But maybe it's just me

Niomi grew up in such wealth, that I'm sure she's always thought of the working class and the staff her family employed as lesser people and looks at it as 'us and them'. Not someone she'd ever engage in a conversation with or want to be around hence her joining all these exclusive clubs in London where the rich are among themselves.

 

[QueenBW]

Niomi grew up in such wealth, that I'm sure she's always thought of the working class and the staff her family employed as lesser people and looks at it as 'us and them'. Not someone she'd ever engage in a conversation with or want to be around hence her joining all these exclusive clubs in London where the rich are among themselves.

I think that attitude is something she has developed as she grew in Youtube, as part of her way to cope with feeling inferior to the people she aspires to hang out with (the Caggies of the world).

She's said she worked as a hostess at her stepdad's restaurant in Brighton and she was working part-time at Kurt Geiger during university. So while she might have been well off, especially her family, it sounds like she did have to do some regular-people work.

Youtube made her think she was special and didn't need to do those "regular people" things because she was so special and so much better than others. That probably didn't actually match with how she felt, she exhibits some imposter syndrome signs, but instead of working her ass off to deserve her good luck, she doubled down on the laziness and on pretending she's always lived like this. She hasn't.

 

[cocochino]

The thing with Bali is... I can not picture myself living a life where people are basically in service for you 24/7. Does Niomi clean her bungalo herself? Does she cook herself? Does she even washes her own clothes? Obviously life is so fun when the only thing you do yourself is wipe your damn ass! I will never understand how can you roam through Bali streets and don't feel like a bleeping white colonizer lol. It's one thing when you visiting for a quick holiday, but to lead a lifestyle like that, I'd feel uncomfortable as hell. But maybe it's just me

It's not just you. I'm a "digital nomad" (gag I hate that term). Anyway, this is one of the reasons why I don't want to live in Bali. I know people who live there and they basically have slaves. Everything is cooked and cleaned for them and they live like kings. It freaks me the duck out. How can you feel fulfilled when you're exploiting the local population? You're surrounded by thousands of people living in poverty while you're sipping on your green matcha latte with a Vitamin C drip in your arm. It's bleeping gross.

Niomi has zero interest in the local community and culture. All she cares about is looking good on her feed.

 

[Callan]

Of course Lordon's sister loves Goopy Paltrow...

Lol, this I did not expect.. ick.

 

[Callan]

Her true personality comes out again...

 

[slamvs27]

Her true personality comes out again...

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Who’s Caggie? That’a a really odd name. And what hurt her to be that bitter and cynical? That’s psycho behaviour..”haha hope I duck up someone’s relationship” WTF??

 

[Callan]

Who’s Caggie? That’a a really odd name. And what hurt her to be that bitter and cynical? That’s psycho behaviour..”haha hope I duck up someone’s relationship” WTF??

She's one of Niomi's friends, I guess you can call her that, and has a podcast but all I get from her is mean girl vibes. She had Niomi on her podcast where they had a good time talking about Joey.

 

[oshare]

but instead of working her ass off to deserve her good luck, she doubled down on the laziness and on pretending she's always lived like this.

I am interested in hearing your (or anyone else's) theory behind why you think she did this/why this happened? If you have one?

 

[QueenBW]

I am interested in hearing your (or anyone else's) theory behind why you think she did this/why this happened? If you have one?

Sure! Obviously this is all my opinion, I'm not a psychologist or therapist and I don't know Niomi so this is just what I think based on my own mental health journey, the stuff I've read, and what I see in her videos, but others can and will disagree

To me there's a mismatch between how she really feels and what she wants to portray. She's always seemed to me like she has severe childhood abandonment traumas, only made worse by Joe leaving her. We joke that she doesn't call her grandpa Ian grandpa or her stepdad anything but "Paul", but it might be a way of keeping them at a distance because she doesn't trust them not to leave her.

Her entire personality revolves around appearing to be happy and feeling good about herself, having it all, but she doesn't actually believe it. I've felt this and I've seen it in others and I've seen people cope one of two ways: work their tails off to feel like they deserve stuff and love (except we never actually feel that, no matter how hard we work, unless we heal the trauma) and the people who just keep pretending and numbing the feeling of mismatch with other people's adoration (cough, social media, cough terrible romantic partners) because they haven't done the work (the literal work and the healing work).

IMHO, and this is why I always say she needs therapy, as long as she doesn't actually address and heal those childhood wounds, she'll keep just pretending. Pretending to be happy, pretending to work, pretending to have friends, but really keeping everything at a distance because it's easier/less scary. What if she actually tried and failed? Whereas now, she's not really trying, and she still has some success, and she feels like a fraud probably and that feeds the cycle but she can't get out of it. She's too lazy and too scared to actually heal.

Whew. Never thought I'd have so much to say about Marcus's boring but seemingly sweet girlfriend and then this thread happened

 

[Shutterbug99]

Who’s Caggie? That’a a really odd name.

I looked it up. Her name is Catherine. The nickname Caggie came about because her brother couldn't pronounce her name when he was little.

Hope you all enjoyed this piece of information nobody asked for or wanted to know. Haha.

Has Nims popped up on the boat yet? Bet she has some explaining to do to Big Tez after that 'no ties' comment.

 

[QueenBW]

I looked it up. Her name is Catherine. The nickname Caggie came about because her brother couldn't pronounce her name when he was little.

Hope you all enjoyed this piece of information nobody asked for or wanted to know. Haha.

Has Nims popped up on the boat yet? Bet she has some explaining to do to Big Tez after that 'no ties' comment.

I just love rich people's nicknames. That other MIC girl who was actually named Alexandra but called Binky?

Hilarious.

 

[coriander]

If she’s been living her dream life, how come does she look more depressed than ever? Denial hitting reaaaally hard.

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Her giant hands

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If I had her body shape I'd be focusing on waist definition rather than trying to be as skinny as possible. She looks like a little granny.

 

[kalechips]

Her true personality comes out again...

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God what a head. Seems especially tonedeaf considering her supposed friend got dumped before her wedding, or am I reading too much into it?

 

[QueenBW]

God what a head. Seems especially tonedeaf considering her supposed friend got dumped before her wedding, or am I reading too much into it?

I wouldn't necessarily link it to Niomi, can't say i remember what happened 2 years ago in my pal's romantic life when posting to Instagram. But it does show the kind of person Caggie is. And underscores how these people are so shallow.

 

[Callan]

I wouldn't necessarily link it to Niomi, can't say i remember what happened 2 years ago in my pal's romantic life when posting to Instagram. But it does show the kind of person Caggie is. And underscores how these people are so shallow.

Caggie preaches healing, awareness and all that bs in her podcasts but in real life she's a snake. That's the most disturbing part.

 

[QueenBW]

Caggie preaches healing, awareness and all that bs in her podcasts but in real life she's a snake. That's the most disturbing part.

Yep. But she looks sweet and that's all that matters! That last bit is sarcasm of course, but in their world, it's all appearances. Niomi cares more about appearing to be happy than being happy. Caggie cares more about appearing to be all evolved than actually working to be so.

It's interesting to watch them be fake little snakes, kind of like a social experiment, as long as I don't think about how there are so many like them and so many more fooled by them.