Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

Well she's got another man.. confirmed, instagram official, family introduced, unbelievable, yet true!
Tattle meet Lordon McDonkey!
The nims downgrade from Forky Van Der Dickson (never thought it possible!), he is our second random boyfriend of the year, a life coach collected from her 7 weeks trip to Bali. His personality seems to be a delight, not.

The confirmation:
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The edits were everything in the last thread, amazing guys:
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Don't forget to answer the pawfect poll.
Enjoy the shitshow! litcheraly.

Ah, thank you for the thread and the feature! 'Tis an honour.

She looks so haggard and old in that plane selfie. I'm sorry, but this is a girl whose whole life and career are dedicated to getting free beauty treatments, working out, counting every single carb that enters her mouth, and going to the spa. She lives a life devoid of any financial worry and workplace-related stress. How does she manage to look so appalling despite all that? It's truly a talent.

 

[Shutterbug99]

I wonder if she's Airbnb-ing the shed while she's away? It shows how much money she has if she can go away for weeks or months at a time and leave that place empty. Maybe she'll be staying with Lordon in Bali and so won't have to pay for a rental.

If she was still with Forky, we'd get to see their airport reunion, for sure. Lordon gives us nothing!

ETA: Oh. I think she's put the shed up for sale. I found a new listing. Listed 45 days ago for £750,000. It's listed as a flat this time rather than a house. I've only seen it listed on one site so far so will have to double check.

 

[thecoffeequeen]

To be fair…it’s not like Ryanair flies to Bali

But yeah, I’m sure it was paid for by Emirates, hence the tag.

I know that but she would never fly Ryanair to anywhere.

 

[dodo789]

I wonder if she's Airbnb-ing the shed while she's away? It shows how much money she has if she can go away for weeks or months at a time and leave that place empty. Maybe she'll be staying with Lordon in Bali and so won't have to pay for a rental.

If she was still with Forky, we'd get to see their airport reunion, for sure. Lordon gives us nothing!

ETA: Oh. I think she's put the shed up for sale. I found a new listing. Listed 45 days ago for £750,000. It's listed as a flat this time rather than a house. I've only seen it listed on one site so far so will have to double check.

Imagine being able to throw that much money on a literal shed just to sell it again after less than a year…

She was miserable in it for sure but I thought she would just rent it out because it’s not a practical place for longtime living.

Influencers always like to talk about mental health (especially when they get ad money for betterhelp or when they get negative comments ) but they really rarely do anything to get better…and Nims just looks more miserable and desperate every day while screaming how happy she is with her flamingo pose on the beach at sunset

 

[Shutterbug99]

OK this is what I found with some details removed. I'm not sure if it's an error as I did a quick search and can't find the listing anywhere else. Maybe she decided to sell the property and then changed her mind? Maybe it has already sold? When she bought the property, it was listed at £740K and sold for £778,250. According to this, she's now selling for £750K.

 

[c1608]

OK this is what I found with some details removed. I'm not sure if it's an error as I did a quick search and can't find the listing anywhere else. Maybe she decided to sell the property and then changed her mind? When she bought the property, it was listed at £740K and sold for £778,250. According to this, she's now selling for £750K.


View attachment 1385760

It looks like they are old photos though. The furniture is the same as the old listing from when she bought it. Surely if she was to sell it they would have taken new photos?

But interestingly, whilst looking for the listing I think I might have found the big house her shed is attached to…and it has a pool????!! It’s also for sale for almost £3,000,000 and is currently under offer so looks like Nimbobs is going to have new neighbours soon (if she ever comes back from Baaaali )

 

[Eekk]

I can’t see her place listed anywhere either, even when going to sold sttc. And agreed that it’s the old photos.
Maybe it’s a glitch if the neighbours house is on? As it’ll be the same address pretty much. And that was listed at the end of March.

 

[Shutterbug99]

I thought that about the photos too @c1608. This could just be an error as I can't find the listing anywhere else. It's a bit strange that it's listed at a different price than before though, and also that the listing agent is different to before. Who knows. I guess we'll find out if she's still living there when she returns from Bali. I don't think she's shown the shed since before she left for Bali first time round. She was talking about kitchen renovations then so it didn't sound like she was planning on selling.

 

[Eekk]

Not sure if the same place as you, but I’ve now also found it on a “property social network”. Whatever the heck that is. On for 750k, reduced by 25k, listed 59 days ago. The website says “See properties before they come to market”. It has a message the agent bit. If I Google that agent it’s only shared ownership properties. All a bit odd.

OK this is what I found with some details removed. I'm not sure if it's an error as I did a quick search and can't find the listing anywhere else. Maybe she decided to sell the property and then changed her mind? Maybe it has already sold? When she bought the property, it was listed at £740K and sold for £778,250. According to this, she's now selling for £750K.


View attachment 1385760

 

[Shutterbug99]

Not sure if the same place as you, but I’ve now also found it on a “property social network”. Whatever the heck that is. On for 750k, reduced by 25k, listed 59 days ago. The website says “See properties before they come to market”. It has a message the agent bit. If I Google that agent it’s only shared ownership properties. All a bit odd.

I found it on a site called PropertyHeads. Same place?

 

[irvinelane]

Looks like that mold green sofa won’t be delivered in the end

 

[bluestone]

so after 3 weeks in London she goes back to Bali and seriously thinks she has found her purpose in life...

"I’ve realised it’s possible to live a life where the two work in balance and harmony" this is not what I call balance and harmony, this I call living like a child forever and avoiding responsabilities

 

[laplusheureuse96]

Imagine being so delusional you actually believe running around London aimlessly, going to cafes to answer some e-mails and getting your hair done at some crappy, overpriced salon counts as having a “busy London life”. It’s ridiculous and laughable.

Imo, it’s absolutely unnecessary to be continuously switching between these two locations, London is thrilling enough on its own and if you miss that island feeling, there are so many beautiful locations in Europe. No need to fly to the other end of the world for that. Her carbon footprint will be the size of a mammoth’s.

 

[irvinelane]

Her carbon footprint will be the size of a mammoth’s.

If her followers call her out on her carbon footprint, she would probably say « I’ve been trying so hard to be good and do good. I sure have a very sustainable lifestyle, but hey, I’m just relaxed on and off, especially when I’m away from London. What happened to women supporting women? »

Speaking of people being mean to her

Don’t you understand, Niomi? You get the followers you deserve. Have a safe flight

 

[Lucia Cornelia Sulla]

this was so predictable and still....... amazing.
do you guys think she will actually teach yoga there? that would be some progress in terms of her actually doing ~something

 

[LolitaBlah]

People who send these messages are disgusting psychopaths that should be banned from the internet.
Us we're just realistic funny bi$ches who are sometimes a bit bi$chy cause, God, she can bring an angel to its breaking point

We can be mean too

 

[Rubyroo123]

Hello everyone! Long time lurker in here but finally decided to post because her "eco-friendly and sustainable lifestyle" started to get really annoying in view of her last travels. I asked her about her carbon footprint and of course, barely a few hours later my comment is already long gone...

 

[Eekk]

I found it on a site called PropertyHeads. Same place?

Yep! Same place. So strange. I wonder if it’s to test the market. Or whether she thinks it’ll be like the Raya of properties.

 

[Nitfey]

If her followers call her out on her carbon footprint, she would probably say « I’ve been trying so hard to be good and do good. I sure have a very sustainable lifestyle, but hey, I’m just relaxed on and off, especially when I’m away from London. What happened to women supporting women? »

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Speaking of people being mean to her

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Don’t you understand, Niomi? You get the followers you deserve. Have a safe flight

Funny she did not share and delete comments from long time followers who told her she is waste of time now...but oh well...
I'm against trolling like that. Better be silent and unfollow so she has less and less subscribers and is forced to go to a real job.
London Bali balanced life my ass...

 

[EGuyUK]

So she got a free flight (not disclosed) or is on the beg for some future perks because of all the trips to Bali she'll be making?

Who did she fly with last time? Did she have a bad experience? Can't recall.

What's with the beanie in July?

So many questions!

That's also not standard economy class, it's at least business. She's minted.