Niomi Smart #28 Still smarting over dreamy Joe, giving fascist Forky a go.

[Tshads404]

She looks so desperate and annoying while mostly people are at work at this moment. And she just sit there and planning on drinking

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Whatever happened to “the unexpected joy of being sober”? Her posts keep getting cringier and cringier

 

[Asdfghjl1230]

I think the most annoying thing for me is how every single thing she posts has to be something with a caption of, ‘aren’t I soOoOoO crazy and yet down to earth? What will Niomi do next? Let’s talk more about how uniquely Niomi I am and how I’m so lovingly not like other girls’. And yet she has the most basic, typical white blonde Instagram girl life and content ever. She’ll do a full glamour shot and put literally one hair askew, then do a caption like ‘trying to take a picture and of course this is my hair’. She posts herself reading a book like, ‘only I would be reading on a Friday night’. ‘I would forget my lip gloss!’ ‘Only I would wear socks’, ‘Guess this is the best I’m going to look on this wild Saturday’, etc., etc.

It’s this complete self-absorption and belief that everyone finds her so relatable and hilarious, and yet she never actually posts anything remotely interesting or different at all.

Omg this is so spot on! It’s always either somewhat unusual, but ultimately completely uninteresting stuff like “LOL I’m wearing a cashmere jumper in July, you must think I’m completely insane hehe” or attempts at being laid back and not like other girls, like walking around a house in a messy bun which she carefully styled to be exactly the right level of messy.

Also, the way she’s trying to act like she’s some sort of feminist icon for moving house on her own is so cringe-inducing. It’s clearly something she learned growing up though, I don’t know the details of her family history but I’m pretty sure both her mum and her grandma married rich men who “saved” them and helped the family out, so Niomi thinks it’s impossible for women to achieve things on their own. She keeps posting stories along the lines of omg how do other girls living on their own deal with (insert any mundane activity you could easily do yourself, or with a bit of help from a female friend). This to me comes across as desperate, like she wants a rich, handsome man to see she’s struggling and offer to save her. Coupled with her love of Notting Hill & other rom coms, I feel like she has extremely outdated ideas of what love and relationships are like in the 21st century.

 

[Tshads404]

Niomi Smart #29 Colon cleanses and #gifted cars can’t cure lonely Lie-omi

 

[Darkchoccie]

I just caught up here after those crazy pics but just now finding out about Anna! Honestly, poor Niomi! He couldnt have moved on with someone more opposite, I’d be devo

 

[Ms.Marble]

I just caught up here after those crazy pics but just now finding out about Anna! Honestly, poor Niomi! He couldnt have moved on with someone more opposite, I’d be devo

Yeah that sympathy for her went out of the window for me when she started going from podcast to podcast to talk about the relationship in vague terms and changing the story all the time, when she whined about how she "wasn't enjoying lockdown", insisted that she isn't an influencer and oh so much better than others who promote things, then promotes a tit ton of things, complained about people "labeling" her food choices when she has been using the fact that she is plant based as an opportunity to sell things for years, disappeared for months on end only to come back to do a sponsored video and disappear again for months, complained about not having had a proper vacation in oh so long, and millions of other things that show her to be just very very self involved.
I understand that a break up when a relationship is at this stage is very devastating, and I did feel for her in the beginning, I really did. But she then always insisted how she is so so much better off without this relationship. And I must say, it is far better to break off an engagement than getting married anyways (which she admitted would have been what she would have done) and then spend more and more years together unhappily. She has the resources to get help, and whether or not she needs it isn't my place to judge, but all she ever did was do her little self care rituals (baths and moon gazing) and sell these as the ultimate healers after a break up. As much as I don't like Amelia Liana either, I feel like she actually may have learned something from a situation like that and grown as a person. Niomi, not so much.
And it isn't like he ever broadcast anything that might have gone on between him and Anna or anyone else to the world. Meanwhile she sat around with her "friends" on podcasts making snide comments about her relationship. Makes posts about toxic love etc. When the years prior she did everything in her power to paint them as the quintessential pahfect dream couple and everyone else was just chopped liver.

It must have been hard for her, for sure. No doubt. But I can't say that I have any sympathy left for her regarding this.

 

[TheGlossy]

She sure knows about toxicity because based on her behavior post break-up, it's crystal clear she was the toxic one in this relationship and Joey was enabling her. Nothing about her new found personality conveys "stable, ambitious and independent woman".

 

[H91]

One of her previous vlogmas videos popped up and it’s where Joe made her that basket counting down to his return from India. I bet she thought there was a proposal waiting at the end of that one but I was more confused at how she seems like a completely different person now!

She is someone defined by a relationship through her own fault, but this single by choice narrative is utter shite. We know she’s not genuine and authentic in any way, but she’s unhinged if she’s thinks sharing how she was blindsided by a break up to then how her standards are too high next. I really wish she did some hard reflection on herself and what she wants instead of insisting she’s happy and she’s far to paahhfect for anyone else. The whole ‘selfish’ narrative is also exhausting.

It’s been over a year, mate. Time to stop focusing on the relationship you no longer have.

 

[TheGlossy]

I bet Joe will wind up getting engaged/married to someone else first. No matter how she wants to spin it, she doesn't have a clue who she is and unless she does some proper introspection instead of trying to appear happy on IG, her future relationships will experience the same fate as her previous one. She morphs into what she thinks her partner wants, then unleashes her controlling persona once the relationship becomes steady enough. No one with a sound mind can build a solid long-lasting relationship under these circumstances. I assume this is resulting from the fact that she was brought up as an only child with the family bending over and backwards to please her in order to fill in the gap her father created.

 

[Hannah Banana]

LOL, Niomi’s more like Brigitte Bardon’t.

 

[Callan]

In that dumb Q&A where she mentions "being respectful to your ex" I think she means herself. She wants respect, yet Joe went pretty much radio silent on social media and she's the one filming cringey "are they shacking or aren't they?" videos with maga forky. Imagine if Joe filmed videos like that with Anna or other chicks? She would LOSE her mind, her tiny pea brain would explode.

She made money for years off her relationship and she got what she deserves. Turns out that some things do have a price.

 

[toanna1]

then change it
Do you need the adress of the office to which yiu have to submit the application to change your insta dp?

 

[kenyounot]

And what in the flying fck does she “digitally create”

 

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

And what in the flying fck does she “digitally create”

Collective cringes.

 

[QueenBW]

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then change it
Do you need the adress of the office to which yiu have to submit the application to change your insta dp?

Nah, she just needs a professional photographer to DM her and offer their services for free.

 

[supercalifragilis]

Starting to think she really hates herself on that picture because it represents everything Joe turned down and dumped, the pseudo classy, dark haired, natural-make up girl. With that comment of "this doesn't even look like me anymore", she's clearly detaching herself from that and trying to assert her new look is also a new persona. If she was trying for a tasteful, seamless transition, this isn't it. She's clearly deranged and completely void of a sense of self. Good job.

 

[sitkx]

Starting to think she really hates herself on that picture because it represents everything Joe turned down and dumped, the pseudo classy, dark haired, natural-make up girl. With that comment of "this doesn't even look like me anymore", she's clearly detaching herself from that and trying to assert her new look is also a new persona. If she was trying for a tasteful, seamless transition, this isn't it. She's clearly deranged and completely void of a sense of self. Good job.

I thought exactly the same thing

 

[getawaywithit]

Hate to break it to you Niomi but that’s just you with dark blonde hair instead of golden blonde lol. But yeah, unrecognizable!

 

[Callan]

Funny, she liked her profile picture enough to use it to advertise her Caggie Saturn Returns podcast. She spends all her time thinking about her appearance.

Here, I found a new picture she can use on her lackluster social media.

The new, blossomed Nims having breakfast on monday morning.

 

[Nitfey]

Collective cringes.

HA! I was thinking the same digital cringe

 

[Callan]

HA! I was thinking the same digital cringe

Also Niomi brought all of us Tattlers together, that's a beautiful thing!