I'm shocked that she's drinking wine, since it's full of calories! Whatever makes a bath selfie more instagrammable I guess
No one want to see you in a bath 
Niomi Smart #17 I’m not an influencer! But please buy these vitamins and mop
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It's probably a wine glass full of activated charcoal
I like her Mum. I wonder if she read my post re joey should post his meat meals...?
Shameless. i wonder who she thinks cares about her doing this?
Can someone fill me in on the peanut butter/smoothie bowl incident?
I feel torn because I love a smoothie bowl but equally love peanut butter, banana and toast, so I’m invested already.
also, I see that Niomis fam seem to feature a lot but haven’t heard any mention of her dad? Or have I gotten confused? I was under the impression her mum had Niomi relatively young then married at a later stage and had niomi’s sister with her husband
I feel torn because I love a smoothie bowl but equally love peanut butter, banana and toast, so I’m invested already.
also, I see that Niomis fam seem to feature a lot but haven’t heard any mention of her dad? Or have I gotten confused? I was under the impression her mum had Niomi relatively young then married at a later stage and had niomi’s sister with her husband
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During lockdown, Joe was given tit for wanting toast after a long run because it was "smoothie bowl weather", followed by a weird dance.
As they packed up (Joe did the work while she talked to camera) for India, Joe discovered a massive secret stash of peanut butter [edit: that he had bought over time] that Niomi had hidden in the cupboard with a duck load of vitamins so that he wouldn't find/eat it.
that’s weird AF
Great recap, you definitely can't make this tit up
Most undesirable girl in the +44.
The Royal Borough of Kale and Chickpeas.
Watching an old video because lazy ass Bimbobs couldn't be arsed to make one tonight because another mop company hasn't managed to fund her:
8:10 -- firstly, you'll need to know that all she's making is a boring ass lumpy ass butternut squash soup which my lovely little dog would even turn his nose at -- "Joe had the idea to make a mushroom bruschetta" -- yes, Dimbobs, it must be absolutely shocking that he wouldn't be filled at dinner by a tiny ass soup!
Then she talks for way too long about how much Joe loves bread. Man alive, bread is literally just a standard food. Most people like it. Get the duck over it!
She talks about how his nickname was Dough because he loved bread. Can you imagine shaming him for wanting a piece of toast after a run? I CAN'T.
There was this one girl I used to work with, bless her annoying soul, she clearly had a negative relationship with food. I sat across from her, whenever I'd be eating ANYTHING she'd ask what I was eating and make a passive aggressive comment about it. Like... I cannot imagine living with one of these people!
Nimnubs thinks she's so special and sexy. She's not. She's average at best if I'm being generous (below average if I'm being completely honest), has a dull personality and seems IMPOSSIBLE to live with/talk to without ripping my "non-genetically pahhhhfect" hair out! (Says the girl who's hair actually resembles a scarecrow who got struck by a bolt of lightning.)
She's so cocky without any substance. Her looks are meh, her personality is beyond a bore and her actual credible successes are 0. She's selfish and, on top of that, you can't even enjoy the world's greatest gift -- FOOD! I really feel so sorry for whichever bloke she ends up with next.
I just picture Dimbobs as this hypersensitive mousy annoying person to go out for a meal with. The nonstop giggling at nothing and touching of her hair and thinking she looks cute when she doesn't and analysing the menu to death to just ask for a pile of unseasoned and undressed leaves.
I think I'm getting my period tomorrow, I'm extra annoyed
8:10 -- firstly, you'll need to know that all she's making is a boring ass lumpy ass butternut squash soup which my lovely little dog would even turn his nose at -- "Joe had the idea to make a mushroom bruschetta" -- yes, Dimbobs, it must be absolutely shocking that he wouldn't be filled at dinner by a tiny ass soup!
Then she talks for way too long about how much Joe loves bread. Man alive, bread is literally just a standard food. Most people like it. Get the duck over it!
She talks about how his nickname was Dough because he loved bread. Can you imagine shaming him for wanting a piece of toast after a run? I CAN'T.
There was this one girl I used to work with, bless her annoying soul, she clearly had a negative relationship with food. I sat across from her, whenever I'd be eating ANYTHING she'd ask what I was eating and make a passive aggressive comment about it. Like... I cannot imagine living with one of these people!
Nimnubs thinks she's so special and sexy. She's not. She's average at best if I'm being generous (below average if I'm being completely honest), has a dull personality and seems IMPOSSIBLE to live with/talk to without ripping my "non-genetically pahhhhfect" hair out! (Says the girl who's hair actually resembles a scarecrow who got struck by a bolt of lightning.)
She's so cocky without any substance. Her looks are meh, her personality is beyond a bore and her actual credible successes are 0. She's selfish and, on top of that, you can't even enjoy the world's greatest gift -- FOOD! I really feel so sorry for whichever bloke she ends up with next.
I just picture Dimbobs as this hypersensitive mousy annoying person to go out for a meal with. The nonstop giggling at nothing and touching of her hair and thinking she looks cute when she doesn't and analysing the menu to death to just ask for a pile of unseasoned and undressed leaves.
I think I'm getting my period tomorrow, I'm extra annoyed
I'm glad you got that off your chest @Ramster93 
Like -- THIS IS DINNER!!! What the literal heck
he's over 6 foot tall, I can't. How did he last with her for 4 years!?Hahaha, thank you! This forum is therapyI'm glad you got that off your chest @Ramster93
50 seconds into this video, she explains that meditating has basically made her decide not to eat much...
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I think she must really hate herself to not even allow her food to taste good. She admitted that she had to add ingredients to her own recipe for banana bread.
Joe probably was having secret, kebabs, burgers etc...to last that long with her.
Nimnumbs probably thought she was becoming BuddhaView attachment 424614
Like -- THIS IS DINNER!!! What the literal heck
Hahaha, thank you! This forum is therapy
50 seconds into this video, she explains that meditating has basically made her decide not to eat much...
Joe probably was having secret, kebabs, burgers etc...to last that long with her.
Indeed, in the above vlog she even mentions it's healthier to drink warm water than cold water. So, I mean, she's even taking the fun out of water.
This is it. How dare she post in her insta that her BFF Charlotte was her' Bridget Jones'. No Niomi YOU are the Bridget Jones.
In 4:02 of the above vlog -- "Joe had the idea to look for a vegan roast dinner" when earlier in the vlog, she was the one to mention the vegan roast dinner. It's things like this which is why we all think she's a pathological liar or at the very least delusional to her and Joe's relationship. I highly doubt he said "hey, babe, let's go somewhere with a vegan roast dinner". I just can't picture it!
And at 9:25 -- "Joe just said sounds good -- do you fancy a masala? Yeah, good!" -- note that this happened after she made a speech around what goop she's going to make that night, like, regarding Joey being obsessed with vegan food or something, who's she trying to prove that false news to?
And at 9:25 -- "Joe just said sounds good -- do you fancy a masala? Yeah, good!" -- note that this happened after she made a speech around what goop she's going to make that night, like, regarding Joey being obsessed with vegan food or something, who's she trying to prove that false news to?
Probably what happened is Joe wanted a roast so he said 'let's find somewhere that does a vegan one' so she could eat it too. That's not 'having an idea' is it - that's how she eats, obviously they would find somewhere she could eat at as well? It's like she's had to even convince herself that Joe wanted to eat plant based all the time, he clearly did not. I don't care either way had he stayed PB or not after they split up, but I feel like him going back to eating meat and dairy really proves what we said the whole time about her controlling his food so much. I bet she forced him to eat PB the whole of lockdown, which again, doesn't matter what type of diet it is - forcing someone to eat a certain way is not ok.
Her face while she's waiting for DJ to admit that her cooking is the best he's ever tasted:
When Joe sent those 'vegan muffins' and one was Shrek.... Is there any doubt that most of them went straight in the bin. He knew her food control was unbearable.
She tried to control him so much through her weird food obsessions and then laughed at him when he tried to make a smoothie.
How you are compatible in food you like to eat together can say a lot about the relationship. I remember her making snary remark when he had a steak in front of her.
She tried to control him so much through her weird food obsessions and then laughed at him when he tried to make a smoothie.
You're so right!
In 12:44 of this vlog, she does it again:
I'm sure he got annoyed overhearing her twist his words, knowing it'd reach hundreds of thousands of people.
Dimdumb should title her videos 'How I manage not to eat in a Day'. 'How I piss off any man vaguely interested in me'...'How I am not sexy even though I try SO hard'
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