Niomi Smart #10 Tier 2 blues, a lot of booze and new screws...Dimbob no longer a snooze

[judgejohndeed]

i think the "big autonomous man" thing is a variation on something i said because i was just bewildered by people painting Joe as this super vulnerable person (even a victim of abuse) who was completely under N's thumb. which did not ring true to me, especially because [thankfully!] adults can't simply catch an eating disorder by living with someone , unless they were already pre-disposed to that.

and i was also bewildered that people were more concerned about this one man called Joe (who gives off no predisposition-to-eating-disorder-vibes to me anyway) and who has no markers of vulnerability at all (in terms of age, support system etc) - rather than the hundreds of thousands of viewers she has, many of whom may include children, many of whom may be pre-disposed to EDs, and who are being exposed to her highly-problematic-about-food-and-body-image content (as discussed in detail throughout these threads) disguised as health and wellness. [obvz N is "just" one part in a big problematic system but, yeah, a particularly egregious one for many of us i'm sure)

people still might not agree but just wanted to clarify

Sorry, but you don’t have to be ‘predisposed’ to getting an ED, whatever the hell that even means. Anybody can get them. Living with someone who is that strict and controlling around food is enough to start off disordered tendencies and yes, I would say anyone living with someone that disordered is clearly vulnerable to developing an ED of their own. People on the internet are distanced from Niomi, yes she will still influence them, but it blows my mind anyone can think people online nowhere near her will be more influenced than someone locked down in a house with her for months. It seems to me like a fundamental misunderstanding of how EDs work to be honest We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

[imsorryabtthisacct]

Why are we assuming that Joe didn't just choose her for her looks too? What else did she have to offer when they first started dating other than being internet famous and pretty? And yea he could break the engagement whenever he wanted technically, but it's still crappy... especially when we DON'T know the circumstances. And regarding her parading him around social media, again I feel like we're not giving enough autonomy to Joe. He's a grown ass man, he could've said no a long time ago. It's not Niomi's fault he doesn't have a backbone and can't communicate his needs. Or maybe he did and she didn't listen? But I find that hard to believe... if that's the case he's a major pushover. Also again what could he expect for being the partner of a youtuber. If he didn't like it that should have been an issue a longgg time ago. I thought she had him in a normalish amount of videos given the fact that they were quarantining together and no one else was around lol. But I do think she got very very smug with him which was annoying AF

Well, she's financially independent & a rather successful entrepreneur (we might look down what she does but she's objectively pretty successful) while it is unclear if Joe ever became financially independent. That must have appealed to him.

 

[Coldfeet]

Well, she's financially independent & a rather successful entrepreneur (we might look down what she does but she's objectively pretty successful) while it is unclear if Joe ever became financially independent. That must have appealed to him.

Mind you, he had enough money to fill the peanut butter cupboard!!He also seemed well able to send her/arrange to be collected, gifts when he was away. I also think he bought the engagement ring himself.

 

[unsure]

Sorry, but you don’t have to be ‘predisposed’ to getting an ED, whatever the hell that even means. Anybody can get them. Living with someone who is that strict and controlling around food is enough to start off disordered tendencies and yes, I would say anyone living with someone that disordered is clearly vulnerable to developing an ED of their own. People on the internet are distanced from Niomi, yes she will still influence them, but it blows my mind anyone can think people online nowhere near her will be more influenced than someone locked down in a house with her for months. It seems to me like a fundamental misunderstanding of how EDs work to be honest We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.

yes anyone can get them but there are known (and widely written about) risk factors for eating disorders. i normally really like your comments and find them quite measured so idk why you'd say "whatever the hell that means" and that i've no understanding-
trust me i wish i had no understanding of EDs

maybe we need to distinguish between a problematic relationship with food (which probably literally half the western world has) and a diagnosable mental illness - which is what the term "eating disorder" refers to. and yeah they definitely change your life / the way in which you think on pretty much a 24/7 basis so can't just be simply transferred to someone. unless they already had risk-factors.

anyway this is off topic so i'm done, sorry

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Her smugness JUMPS out in this video, wow! I can’t believe she included those model shots she took of him I wonder if his friends ever gave him a hard time for the way she constantly fawns over him in videos

I know! i think she just found him really attractive, in thay video sje posted (instagram?? I think) where they were looking at a mountain view but she jumped into his arms and wrapped herself around him like a koala, eating his face off and he pulls away and look at the view. It was so uncomfortable, like my boyfriends hawwwt guys and I get to do THIS!!

Maybe that's why she was so keen to keep him running, working out AND away from dat pesky sugary bread. Keeping him at his physical peak.

Although they never seemed that physically connected as a couple tbh. Maybe she just liked kissing only?! Cpuld be why she tried to tire him out with gentle 10k runs.

 

[imsorryabtthisacct]

Mind you, he had enough money to fill the peanut butter cupboard!!He also seemed well able to send her/arrange to be collected, gifts when he was away. I also think he bought the engagement ring himself.

Not really the point. A lot of rich kids who are not themselves financially independent are actually very self-conscious & hold people who are in high reward. He must have really admired her, at least in the beginning.

 

[Coldfeet]

Not really the point. A lot of rich kids who are not themselves financially independent are actually very self-conscious & hold people who are in high reward. He must have really admired her, at least in the beginning.

Sorry, bit confused by your train of thought here. He had his own job when they started dating. He has his own apartment in London. He was financially secure on his own terms.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Sorry, bit confused by your train of thought here. He had his own job when they started dating. He has his own apartment in London. He was financially secure on his own terms.

People have said before his family might support him with dividends etc but tbh I don’t know why anyone assumes Niomi doesn’t benefit from the same. Her grandparents are clearly loaded. Think Joe needs his own hate thread now tbh

 

[getawaywithit]

Guys, I really don’t think there is some code to crack here where there will be this definitive answer like ‘He didn’t want to marry an Influencer’. At the end of the day he just didn’t love her anymore/realized he didn’t love her enough to actually marry her. I’m sure that was influenced by her character and behaviour, as it would be with anyone, and yes I think lockdown really helped to illuminate and magnify things that were easier to brush aside before as insignificant, but 2020 helped him/them see an incompatibility. And fundamentally, when you can’t work out your incompatibilities or you can’t work through your bad times, honestly most of the time it’s because the relationship just wasn’t meant to be. The real love isn’t there.

While I think Niomi is putting on a bit of a show, I actually do think she feels ‘over’ him and in that respect, Joe did the right thing because I think Niomi clearly realizes they WEREN’T meant for each other and I imagine she got swept up in the idea of having found her dream guy just as Joe got swept up in finding his dream girl and luckily one of them realized before it was too late that it was an illusion and they weren’t that in love.

 

[judgeydrudgey]

I think a big reason Joe and Niomi were together for so long is because they rarely saw each other. Niomi came across a lot more fun pre-Joey, and it seemed like she mellowed herself to fit into “his world” - even though that’s not necessarily what he wanted from a partner. While I think they were both very infatuated with each other’s looks, Niomi just made more of a show of it. With that said, I do think Joe liked her for more than just her looks. He also worked long hours and traveled a lot for work, so they spent a lot of tome apart. I worked long hours, weekends, and work-related travel for years and it’s soooo much easier to coordinate your free time with someone who has a flexible schedule. It can be so difficult finding a week to take off work for a vacation, so traveling with someone who can easily schedule a vacation whenever (like Niomi) is a relief. Seemed like they had a system that worked well for them, they liked each other enough, but they just didn’t know each other that well. Then when COVID hit, they struggled to work through issues that came up (Joe seemingly losing his dream job, spending all their time together, etc).

I also think he didn’t mind eating vegan food at home- I know several vegetarians whose SOs eat veg at home just because it’s easier than making 2 meals. I’d guess he ate meat and dairy at lunch or with coworkers. I don’t think vegan was a problem for him, I’d guess the issue was that Niomi projected her control issues on him. Making remarks when he eats foods she doesn’t eat, saying she “allowed” him to eat at non-vegan places on vacation, and pointing out his larger portion sizes.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I think a big reason Joe and Niomi were together for so long is because they rarely saw each other.

I read a really interesting article recently about long term long distance relationships and it reminded me of them. Basically, there’s this whole thing that people in LT LDRs can be together separately for a really long time, then when one of them makes the move they haven’t found space for their person in their life properly and they haven’t lived with them or spent time together outside the honeymoon period. Every time they saw each other before it was all sunshine because it’s like a holiday every time you see them. Then it collapses when reality sets in and you realise you’re not as compatible as you thought and it was only nice and fun because seeing each other was always like a cool fun trip and not a normal relationship.
I agree with you and it sounds like their lives before like ships in the night was similar to the LDR part and covid, being locked down together, where reality hit, brought it all to a head.

 

[Gflo93]

Talking about eating, one reason I do feel sorry for Niomi is that she has always been under mega pressure to be beautiful and thin (not that I think the two are linked).

Her mum is obviously stunning and puts a lot of time and care into her appearance, she does have that stepford wife look that Niomi seems to be trying to emulate also. Her Grandma has repeatedly made comments about looking good, I mean she must have put herself forward for that daily mail article. Plus does anyone else remember this, but I’m 99.9% sure Marcus did a q&a vid where he was talking about having dating preferences and that his was always ‘slim’.. I think it caused a drama at the time. So for her most important teen years she was probably under a lot of pressure to be skinny (in an implicit way).

It’s not like her USP is being funny, entertaining, clever etc. All she is really known for is being pretty, skinny and living that vegan/yoga lifestyle. I mean Amelia is at least slightly entertaining and quite TMI so could get away with a podcast when dumped, all Niomi can do now is ramp up the skinny and pretty/sexiness.

 

[Coldfeet]

Talking about eating, one reason I do feel sorry for Niomi is that she has always been under mega pressure to be beautiful and thin (not that I think the two are linked).

Her mum is obviously stunning and puts a lot of time and care into her appearance, she does have that stepford wife look that Niomi seems to be trying to emulate also. Her Grandma has repeatedly made comments about looking good, I mean she must have put herself forward for that daily mail article. Plus does anyone else remember this, but I’m 99.9% sure Marcus did a q&a vid where he was talking about having dating preferences and that his was always ‘slim’.. I think it caused a drama at the time. So for her most important teen years she was probably under a lot of pressure to be skinny (in an implicit way).

It’s not like her USP is being funny, entertaining, clever etc. All she is really known for is being pretty, skinny and living that vegan/yoga lifestyle. I mean Amelia is at least slightly entertaining and quite TMI so could get away with a podcast when dumped, all Niomi can do now is ramp up the skinny and pretty/sexiness.

Yes. She seems to equate being popular with showing lots of flesh For a modern woman pretty shocking.

 

[LucilleBluth]

Playing devil's advocate here (because I also think Niomi is acting like a fool right now) but Joe seems just as calculated as her. If he really moved in with Freddie so he could dump her and have a place to live/roomie already set up, he played her. I'm sorry, but if he was feeling that way (wanting to break up) he should have communicated that to her (or better, if he did at all, because she seemed blindsided by the breakup) and not let her film a bridesmaid video, etc. Sure she's being "disrespectful" now but let's remember she doesn't owe him anything. I agree that she shouldn't be talking bad about him publicly, but he's kind of the one that publicly disrespected her by ending an engagement. The whole (digital) world saw it.

And re: Freddie in the flat, again I would NEVER in a million years post something publicly about that like Niomi did, but shouldn't he be grateful? Lol unless he's paying rent he had a FREE two-bedroom flat in a nice area of London... arguably Joe could have rented that out and used the money to help pay for a place for him and Niomi. I'm not totally sure of their financial situation obviously (like how much he's been given by family or not.. a lot of wealthy families don't actually just give their kids money for a house or something because they want them to earn it themselves). Again Niomi had no right to post anything about that publicly, but Freddie had to expect that if his brother (who OWNS the place) and his fiance moved in she might want to put up their own stuff too? I think she could have handled it more delicately, and I'm all about helping family out, but there's a difference. When Joe asked Niomi to marry him he was putting her on the level of family, and she shouldn't have been second priority to Freddie. Just my opinion

Am I the only one who finds Freddie’s Instagram presence extremely annoying?

 

[judgejohndeed]

Am I the only one who finds Freddie’s Instagram presence extremely annoying?

he comes across like someone whose MSN byline thing would’ve been ‘i’M sO rAnDoM ’ as a teenager

 

[QueenBW]

he comes across like someone whose MSN byline thing would’ve been ‘i’M sO rAnDoM ’ as a teenager

That is the perfect description.

He's a try-hard bro, imho.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

In the last thread we were talking about how her feet were not flat in the downward dog position.
Fast forward to today's IG story

View attachment 292870

Don't fix the problem - hust hide it - parrrfect!!!


Seriously, if she passes this course and is a 'qualified' yoga teacher then she could, theoretically charge for her teachings. It is stuff kike this that worries me about paying for a yoga / pilates teacher. I find free lessons in youtube or i might buy a second hand dvd but I'd prefer to go back to studio lessons amd don't want to waste my hard earned money on someone no better than i am.

Y'annno?

 

[palmer]

Am I the only one who finds Freddie’s Instagram presence extremely annoying?

still haven't gotten over the sight of his hairy ass crack

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

I disagree. Personally, I think Nims bullied him into the engagement. I think she lost her tit when he said he was moving to India, he would have protested and said he wanted her to go with him and she would have said something along the lines of “How can I go with you? This is a huge commitment for me, I’m giving up my entire life here for you but you haven’t made any commitment to me. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything...................". Long silence.

Of course, this is all just in my imagination but it seems possible.

Yeah, but tbh after 4 years he knew she wanted marriage and moving her life for someone she was "dating' would have been foolish, he would just using her until he found the woman he wanted to marry. She wanted marriage (nothing wrong with that) he seems to as well, just as it turns out not with who niomi is right now. She shouldn't need to act like a wife with all the sacrifices (moving to her) was a huge sacrifice. Something a wife would consider but imo a gf shouldn't if it is a huge sacrifice.

She clearly feels she have up a lot for him, she based her life around him and is now bitter he whipped the rug from under her. The weird passive aggressive face mask in the kitchen video showcased that parrrfectly. Similarly when tanya burr dropped, like 80 pounds and insisted ot was due to how happy aje suddenly was after her (awful) husband left.

 

[Coldfeet]

Yeah, but tbh after 4 years he knew she wanted marriage and moving her life for someone she was "dating' would have been foolish, he would just using her until he found the woman he wanted to marry. She wanted marriage (nothing wrong with that) he seems to as well, just as it turns out not with who niomi is right now. She shouldn't need to act like a wife with all the sacrifices (moving to her) was a huge sacrifice. Something a wife would consider but imo a gf shouldn't if it is a huge sacrifice.

She clearly feels she have up a lot for him, she based her life around him and is now bitter he whipped the rug from under her. The weird passive aggressive face mask in the kitchen video showcased that parrrfectly. Similarly when tanya burr dropped, like 80 pounds and insisted ot was due to how happy aje suddenly was after her (awful) husband left.

And that's the distinction between 'for' someone and 'with' someone. If the latter, it's no sacrifice.