Nicola Bulley #14

[50sGirl]

I hope, whatever happens to this thread - that anyone who is struggling with their mental or physical health, their lives, or marriages, can find the strength from the love and support on here to go and get some professional health.

Personally, I've been seriously considering ending my own life. I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, I've bailiffs threatening me.

But the thought of leaving my children I can't do it to them.

Love and light to everyone - and to Nicola and her babies

I can’t add much to the advice already given by much wiser Tattlers than me but I’d like to say it must have taken a lot of courage to write that.
Reaching out, albeit to strangers on the internet, is the first step so well done on being brave enough to post.
It’s good that you have your children to hold on to, never forget that when things are at their bleakest. They need you as much as you need them.

Do you have anyone in real life to talk to?
I know my husband had no idea what was going on in my head and was shocked when I told him. We hide it well which doesn’t help either.

I think someone has already posted a link to a depression thread.
Does anyone know if there is a struggling with debt thread on here that could help too?
If not, perhaps one could be set up so that those with experience could help give advice to those who are struggling.
EDIT: there’s one here: https://tattle.life/threads/paying-off-debt-support.26466/

Please don’t suffer in silence. It is a temporary problem that, in time, WILL be resolved.

Hugs to you and your loved ones xx

 

[mRsKbRoOkS]

I honestly can’t get over how bleeping thick so many people are Reading twitter is winding me up big time.

Police stated she is most likely in the river, three weeks later, she has likely been found in said river! Case bleeping closed.

Why can’t they bloody grasp that it is not suspicious at all, this is just how river related accidents work!!! Yes some are found sooner but so many are not! I do think our dive expert has a lot to answer for bleeping idiot that he is stating he didn’t believe her to be in the river

 

[gigilouxx]

I actually feel sorry for Lancashire Police trying to conduct proper searches with every armchair detective, conspiracy theorist and fuckin psychic sticking their two penneth

 

[kata420]

Very sad news today. I know we all had some sliver of hope that she might come home safe, however unlikely that may have been.

Although devastating for her family, finding her today will hopefully bring them some small comfort and at least they will be able to say goodbye. That’s something a lot of families of missing persons are not afforded. A lot of questions will now hopefully be answered and a lot of the ‘what if’s’ put to bed.

It’s been a wonderfully supportive thread here and thanks to all the regular posters over the last few weeks. I hope that the threads are not closed. I feel like I’ve learned so much from all your posts.

I’m emotional tonight for Nicola and her family, but I am glad that they have found her now. None of us are perfect and we all have complex lives with complex problems but there is always help. Please speak up if you need a hand. Nature is powerful and water is so dangerous. Don’t be complacent out there (not saying Nicola was).

Hugs to all. Honestly.

 

[Lalalemon]

Perhaps we could make a "for anybody struggling" type of thread, I know there is a depression thread @InTheDollsHouse but something like this may accommodate for all types of struggling as there has been quite a vast amount of variety in these threads? Just a suggestion x

Beautiful idea!

 

[Longtimelurker10]

A thought just came to me about a close friend, her ex husband seemed to suffer a breakdown just after lockdown. He was struggling at work, his twin brother had killed himself & he lost his mum the year prior during lockdown. They live near south sea & during one of his manic episodes he actually ran into the sea, it was 2am, January and sub zero temps. Luckily the police rescued him but I’m sure he would have drown if not, despite being in the shallows and a competent swimmer.

Obviously not saying any of this is reflected in the case but just sharing.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I hope, whatever happens to this thread - that anyone who is struggling with their mental or physical health, their lives, or marriages, can find the strength from the love and support on here to go and get some professional health.

Personally, I've been seriously considering ending my own life. I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, I've bailiffs threatening me.

But the thought of leaving my children I can't do it to them.

Love and light to everyone - and to Nicola and her babies

I was in your position about 13/14 years ago and the best thing I did was get an Insolvency Agreement sorted out (I’m in Scotland). I worked with the company, laying out all my debts and how much I could pay back after bills. It was so hard but credit agencies want to get something rather than nothing so they said what amount they’d accept, the company paid them off and I repaid them over 5 or 6 years.

I obviously couldn’t get credit during that time but after years of compulsive and addictive shopping, the relief was immense! I got a bank account, my wages went in and my bills (including the IVA) came out. No phone calls, no baillifs. The pride I felt when I made the final payment was immense.

The length of time with no credit 100% broke the cycle of spending so when I could apply for stuff again, I got one credit card and now I also have a couple of store accounts.

I understand that feeling of despair but things can be done. Please contact someone who can help you

 

[Sir Lancelot]

I actually feel sorry for Lancashire Police trying to conduct proper searches with every armchair detective, conspiracy theorist and fuckin psychic sticking their two penneth

I saw someone on Twitter ask the Lancashire Police force account "Which one of your officers raped and killed her, then?"

I mean. What's wrong with people?!

 

[ghostguy]

I'm just thinking of willow. A dog that likes water. Goes to that place often. Was completely roaming free. No harness, no lead. Nicola enters the water. The dog doesn't follow, doesn't even go to a shallow part where she knows she can enter. As I've seen her in photos in that lake. She would know where to enter. Dogs aren't stupid, she would have even had wet paws... maybe I need sleep. My mind has been running.

 

[Dont swipe up!]

Is it just me or is the lady on sky news now presenting look just like Nicola ??

 

[freaknasty]

I saw someone on Twitter ask the Lancashire Police force account "Which one of your officers raped and killed her, then?"

I mean. What's wrong with people?!

That’s absolutely vile she’s a real person not a character in a drama

 

[pommobear]

I'm just thinking of willow. A dog that likes water. Goes to that place often. Was completely roaming free. No harness, no lead. Nicola enters the water. The dog doesn't follow, doesn't even go to a shallow part where she knows she can enter. As I've seen her in photos in that lake. She would know where to enter. Dogs aren't stupid, she would have even had wet paws... maybe I need sleep. My mind has been running.

Ffs she has been FOUND IN THE RIVER.

 

[Cheezychips]

I hope, whatever happens to this thread - that anyone who is struggling with their mental or physical health, their lives, or marriages, can find the strength from the love and support on here to go and get some professional health.

Personally, I've been seriously considering ending my own life. I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, I've bailiffs threatening me.

But the thought of leaving my children I can't do it to them.

Love and light to everyone - and to Nicola and her babies

Is there anything we can do to help? I'm completely understand how stressful it can be having debt to the degree it seriously affects mental health, I know this is possibly not the right thread to chat on but we can go to a different one and talk. I hate to think of anyone going through this because I know exactly how it feels, but there are options with regards to getting some advice from experts on this subject. If you want to chat, about this or just anything at all, we can find a thread.

 

[stardust1]

A thought just came to me about a close friend, her ex husband seemed to suffer a breakdown just after lockdown. He was struggling at work, his twin brother had killed himself & he lost his mum the year prior during lockdown. They live near south sea & during one of his manic episodes he actually ran into the sea, it was 2am, January and sub zero temps. Luckily the police rescued him but I’m sure he would have drown if not, despite being in the shallows and a competent swimmer.

Obviously not saying any of this is reflected in the case but just sharing.

people do ‘impossible’ things when they aren’t feeling them self (not saying she did or didn’t) I know someone who also jumped in a river on a hot summer day in July. Post mortem showed he never technically ‘drowned’ but he had a cardiac arrest triggered by the temp of the water so obviously was unable to get him self out. I am not sure what some people think happens

 

[Toffeebythesea]

For anybody who needs it:

For anybody struggling ❤

This thread is created for anybody struggling as a safe place for discussion and support.

tattle.life

I've kept it really open so it's not overriding any of the amazing specific threads that are already out there. I felt it was important as there have been a few cries for help in this thread and a few have shown interest.

 

[Facehugger]

Perhaps we could make a "for anybody struggling" type of thread, I know there is a depression thread @InTheDollsHouse but something like this may accommodate for all types of struggling as there has been quite a vast amount of variety in these threads? Just a suggestion x

Could even go forward with 'The Nicola Bulley Legacy Support Thread' perhaps, as it's a complete mix between Meno, debt, suicide, depression, missing folks, even just those missing from home, etc.

Another one here to recommend Step Change for help with debt, not me personally but an elderly friend who was left in so much debt by her much younger husband when the marriage broke down, they have been, and still are being, fantastically supportive 12 years later. Anyone with money worries, please contact CAB or Step Change xx

 

[stardust1]

I was in your position about 13/14 years ago and the best thing I did was get an Insolvency Agreement sorted out (I’m in Scotland). I worked with the company, laying out all my debts and how much I could pay back after bills. It was so hard but credit agencies want to get something rather than nothing so they said what amount they’d accept, the company paid them off and I repaid them over 5 or 6 years.

I obviously couldn’t get credit during that time but after years of compulsive and addictive shopping, the relief was immense! I got a bank account, my wages went in and my bills (including the IVA) came out. No phone calls, no baillifs. The pride I felt when I made the final payment was immense.

The length of time with no credit 100% broke the cycle of spending so when I could apply for stuff again, I got one credit card and now I also have a couple of store accounts.

I understand that feeling of despair but things can be done. Please contact someone who can help you

I love thismy husband also has an IVA. He had been hiding 18k of debt from me when we met. He only has about a year left and I hope he also feels the same on that day. everything he has he has saved for because he couldn’t get credit and he always says how much better it feels not worrying and appreciating whatever it is he saved for

 

[teaandgoss101]

Someone hacked his account…sad people don’t have anything better to do!

 

[cookie12!]

I hope, whatever happens to this thread - that anyone who is struggling with their mental or physical health, their lives, or marriages, can find the strength from the love and support on here to go and get some professional health.

Personally, I've been seriously considering ending my own life. I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, I've bailiffs threatening me.

But the thought of leaving my children I can't do it to them.

Love and light to everyone - and to Nicola and her babies

Please hold on, you can do this. I struggle with a pretty severe mental health disorder and know how you feel. But you can do this, there’s always a way no matter what your mind tells you

Reach out to anyone you can or we can all start a thread on here to offer advice or support etc

 

[Giftinghell]

Lol so they’ve somehow got the body away from the scene with no trace and could do absolutely anything with the body but the murder has now decided to put all the evidence of foul play straight into the polices hands

That’s some ballsy criminal to take a person back to an area riddled with police looking for the person they’ve murdered