Paying off debt support

[PumpkinKing]

Inspired by the no spend January thread which has resulted in me paying an extra £135 so far off my credit card, I thought a debt support thread may be useful.
I used to follow one years ago on netmums and found it really motivating. We could mention ways we're saving money, making a little extra, all to help make any extra payments.

So, I am PumpkinKing and my debt totals £8091.01.
When I added it up at the start of the month I was horrified and angry with myself for being so stupid, I'm not even sure what I have to show for it! But I am determined to shift it as quick as I can while saving a little emergency fund, it will be a minimum of 2 years though. I/we can do this

 

[Hendrixlover]

Inspired by the no spend January thread which has resulted in me paying an extra £135 so far off my credit card, I thought a debt support thread may be useful.
I used to follow one years ago on netmums and found it really motivating. We could mention ways we're saving money, making a little extra, all to help make any extra payments.

So, I am PumpkinKing and my debt totals £8091.01.
When I added it up at the start of the month I was horrified and angry with myself for being so stupid, I'm not even sure what I have to show for it! But I am determined to shift it as quick as I can while saving a little emergency fund, it will be a minimum of 2 years though. I/we can do this

Well done for doing something about your situation, that’s the first hurdle done, knowing that you have a plan! Good luck

 

[didn't want to join]

I have one idea for the thread. Takeaways. So within our household, we have had illness, disability, several other things happen, including at one point a broken freezer/cooker combo, which resulted in Takeaways becoming a short-term fix.

In reality, they become a constant and for almost 2 years in total.

I got sick of craving home cooked food and realised we were in this loop of debt. We bought rubbish because we lacked a freezer and cooker, but we couldn't afford to replace them because we wasted so much cash on takeaways

So, I managed to look in the freecycle pages of our local area (in the UK and these are where folk can give away, totally free, items they no longer want or need). I found a small freezer that had been used as a temp solution for someone getting a new fitted kitchen.

This got me started on gathering some food together, that could be cooked in a slow cooker (that I found in the back of one of my cupboards, new and still in the box).

I then kept an empty hot choc bottle (that it comes in) and made a slot in the top. As this bottle is milky in colour, you can't see in. Each time we avoided buying a takeaway, I asked family to write what they would have had and using the menu, write the amount next to it.

Meanwhile, I moved the money into a savings account, rather than spend it.

At the end of the first year, having ceased buying cups of coffee and doughnuts, no more McD's breakfasts, no lunches/dinners etc., we tipped out our pot and read the amount we had saved in that year.

I was horrified, sickened and shocked to know we had wasted almost £8,190 More than enough to buy a new freezer, cooker and even probably a whole new kitchen

The following year, using the money saved in the account, we bought two large freezers, a new cooker (double oven and hob) and lots of containers to store food. We bulk cook, freeze and where possible, use deals to buy larger items and split them into smaller bags in the freezer.

We have less wastage and everyone has agreed, there is more choice, everyone is full and we are still saving money. I've also noticed everyone has lost weight, looks healthier and has more energy, thanks to ditching the cheaper option foods we had become used to.

Hope this helps someone to save a little more and put it towards their bills.

 

[PumpkinKing]

Well done for doing something about your situation, that’s the first hurdle done, knowing that you have a plan! Good luck

Thank you I've done it before, obviously didn't learn my lesson lol

I have one idea for the thread. Takeaways. So within our household, we have had illness, disability, several other things happen, including at one point a broken freezer/cooker combo, which resulted in Takeaways becoming a short-term fix.

In reality, they become a constant and for almost 2 years in total.

I got sick of craving home cooked food and realised we were in this loop of debt. We bought rubbish because we lacked a freezer and cooker, but we couldn't afford to replace them because we wasted so much cash on takeaways

So, I managed to look in the freecycle pages of our local area (in the UK and these are where folk can give away, totally free, items they no longer want or need). I found a small freezer that had been used as a temp solution for someone getting a new fitted kitchen.

This got me started on gathering some food together, that could be cooked in a slow cooker (that I found in the back of one of my cupboards, new and still in the box).

I then kept an empty hot choc bottle (that it comes in) and made a slot in the top. As this bottle is milky in colour, you can't see in. Each time we avoided buying a takeaway, I asked family to write what they would have had and using the menu, write the amount next to it.

Meanwhile, I moved the money into a savings account, rather than spend it.

At the end of the first year, having ceased buying cups of coffee and doughnuts, no more McD's breakfasts, no lunches/dinners etc., we tipped out our pot and read the amount we had saved in that year.

I was horrified, sickened and shocked to know we had wasted almost £8,190 More than enough to buy a new freezer, cooker and even probably a whole new kitchen

The following year, using the money saved in the account, we bought two large freezers, a new cooker (double oven and hob) and lots of containers to store food. We bulk cook, freeze and where possible, use deals to buy larger items and split them into smaller bags in the freezer.

We have less wastage and everyone has agreed, there is more choice, everyone is full and we are still saving money. I've also noticed everyone has lost weight, looks healthier and has more energy, thanks to ditching the cheaper option foods we had become used to.

Hope this helps someone to save a little more and put it towards their bills.

Thanks so much for this. Food is definitely a big spending area for me, we usually have a take away 3-4 times a month but when my mental health was worse it was a lot more. Plus I'm a comfort eater and I've 4 kids who eat like pigs lol. I've started a spending diary, written down every single thing I've bought and how much they've cost then at the end of the month I'm going to add up how much I've spent on junk etc, have a feeling its going to be a lot!!

 

[didn't want to join]

I've been trying to think of more ideas for your thread.

It's good to have a look around your items and see if there are things you no longer use or want/need. Have a look at places like Depop, Ebay, Facebook Market Place, Gumtree and Shpock. They are all great for selling items, some charge fees, others don't so again, shop around each one before you decide where to sell.

When you want to buy something. Ask yourself if it's really necessary. Pop it onto watch or into a basket and come away from the site. Sleep on it, if need be, leave it in the basket till your next payday. Unless it's a massive saving and crucial (like if your fridge stops working and this one is less than half price, that sort of thing) then use that way to buy things. Often you decide you don't really want it or need it and the money stays put in your bank

Have a look if you are using a laptop/big computer (sorry can't think of the correct name lol) I'm not sure if all things work on a phone or tablet, but you can add a money saver, there is Pouch, Honey, Coupert and several more, (have a good look online) and all of these, once added to your computer, notice when you are shopping and appear on the page showing if there are any likely vouchers.

They will try the vouchers for you and often save you a lot of money. I have been able to use them for vouchers which could be used on Iceland, Waitrose, Clothes shops, TV (which was in the sales) and the most I've saved was £60 on a £140 shop (I kept wondering if the shop would call me to say it was a terrible error and sorry .... but no, it was all good).

Use price comparison sites too, so you know where is cheaper to buy items.

Hope some of that helps you all

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Unsubscribe to mailing lists to reduce temptation, unfollow spendy Instagram accounts , follow debt free ones and people paying off debt, transfer all balances to 0% if you are able. Even if it's not the full balance, as much as you can and then pay off the higher interest rate first. I've done all this after running up debt during maternity, returning part time and then being spendy during lockdown to keep us entertained even tho I shouldn't have!

I've also stopped the takeaways and reduced to every other month and focusing on home cooking! I've paid off about 8k, debt so easy to run up. I'm half way to being clear but it's all on 0% and I've got a budget and plan to sort it, so I feel in control. Have small emergency savings atm and will build as go but want to see my debt reduce a bit more. All my store credit accounts (very, next etc) are zero and I managed Christmas this year without putting anything on a pay later deal.

 

[HammyMcHamFace]

Cashback websites are a good idea. If you do have to buy brand new and it's gonna be a big spend, for example, a new cooker or washing machine or even gifts for the kids or something like that - use cashback websites. I use quidco.

I also have spreadsheets for incomings and outgoings, my debt and allowance money. Most of my debt is credit card as I moved the store card debt to a 0%. I remember signing up for Next and they gave me £5000 and the interest was 23.9% APR. Its easy to spend a lot of money on Next I think because everything is so expensive! I rarely use Next now because of this. I have a very account but only use it for buy now pay later & get it paid before they wack the excessive interest rates. I have £5050 credit on Very & I owe £1182. My interest rates with Very is 54.9% which is just insane - Hence only using their buy now pay laters. I owe about £5k on 2 0% credit cards and I have a plan (spreadsheet) to get this paid, ideally in 12 months but I dont know if that's me being too ambitious. My allowance money is money left after bills which pays for the kids lunch monies, travel & anything i need throughout the month such as toiletries or if I'm feeling flush, a day out. I pay my allowance into a separate account so it's completely separate from my bill money.

Also, I have found having a meal plan to reduce the temptations of takeaways. So I have week 1 and week 2 and for each day there is a meal so instead of thinking "hmm, what shall we have for tea" and takeaway being the first thought because I couldnt be bothered to hunt the freezer for food... I'v already took the meat out the night before ready for Tuesday's meal if that makes sense. I've stopped leaving the house too lol. Like I used to just go over the shops to get bits but buying them bits ended up me going to wilkos, and then b&m, and then asda and spending easily over £50 and all he needed was WD40 & some chicken breasts. Buying tit I don't really need. If I need the WD40, i'll write it on a list and wait until I'v got a decent enough list where I know I won't be able to afford to get extra tit because I really need to get these things on my list.

 

[no-no]

Does anyone else suffer with a scarcity mindset? I’m not paid for another fortnight and when funds are low it makes me want to spend. If I had money now I’d be prudent. I can last until then, but have spent a bit this evening. However, it was discount codes and I got stuff I’d need on payday for a fraction of the price. It’s just hard not letting it snowball and saying “duck it, I’ll get that as well”.

I’m single so can’t bear the cringe of getting a takeaway for one delivered, my vices are homeware, clothes and beauty orders. I’m chipping away at debts but it’s so hard wishing your life away for paydays

 

[PumpkinKing]

I've been trying to think of more ideas for your thread.

It's good to have a look around your items and see if there are things you no longer use or want/need. Have a look at places like Depop, Ebay, Facebook Market Place, Gumtree and Shpock. They are all great for selling items, some charge fees, others don't so again, shop around each one before you decide where to sell.

When you want to buy something. Ask yourself if it's really necessary. Pop it onto watch or into a basket and come away from the site. Sleep on it, if need be, leave it in the basket till your next payday. Unless it's a massive saving and crucial (like if your fridge stops working and this one is less than half price, that sort of thing) then use that way to buy things. Often you decide you don't really want it or need it and the money stays put in your bank

Have a look if you are using a laptop/big computer (sorry can't think of the correct name lol) I'm not sure if all things work on a phone or tablet, but you can add a money saver, there is Pouch, Honey, Coupert and several more, (have a good look online) and all of these, once added to your computer, notice when you are shopping and appear on the page showing if there are any likely vouchers.

They will try the vouchers for you and often save you a lot of money. I have been able to use them for vouchers which could be used on Iceland, Waitrose, Clothes shops, TV (which was in the sales) and the most I've saved was £60 on a £140 shop (I kept wondering if the shop would call me to say it was a terrible error and sorry .... but no, it was all good).

Use price comparison sites too, so you know where is cheaper to buy items.

Hope some of that helps you all

Thank you I've started having a clear out and already made £36 this weekend, got loads more stuff to list!
Will have a look for those voucher things too.

Unsubscribe to mailing lists to reduce temptation, unfollow spendy Instagram accounts , follow debt free ones and people paying off debt, transfer all balances to 0% if you are able. Even if it's not the full balance, as much as you can and then pay off the higher interest rate first. I've done all this after running up debt during maternity, returning part time and then being spendy during lockdown to keep us entertained even tho I shouldn't have!

I've also stopped the takeaways and reduced to every other month and focusing on home cooking! I've paid off about 8k, debt so easy to run up. I'm half way to being clear but it's all on 0% and I've got a budget and plan to sort it, so I feel in control. Have small emergency savings atm and will build as go but want to see my debt reduce a bit more. All my store credit accounts (very, next etc) are zero and I managed Christmas this year without putting anything on a pay later deal.

Wow, well done on paying all that off. Having a plan and making budgets definitely helps you feel in control, just makes me feel a bit crap seeing how long it will take to pay off.
Oh well, we'll get there

Cashback websites are a good idea. If you do have to buy brand new and it's gonna be a big spend, for example, a new cooker or washing machine or even gifts for the kids or something like that - use cashback websites. I use quidco.

I also have spreadsheets for incomings and outgoings, my debt and allowance money. Most of my debt is credit card as I moved the store card debt to a 0%. I remember signing up for Next and they gave me £5000 and the interest was 23.9% APR. Its easy to spend a lot of money on Next I think because everything is so expensive! I rarely use Next now because of this. I have a very account but only use it for buy now pay later & get it paid before they wack the excessive interest rates. I have £5050 credit on Very & I owe £1182. My interest rates with Very is 54.9% which is just insane - Hence only using their buy now pay laters. I owe about £5k on 2 0% credit cards and I have a plan (spreadsheet) to get this paid, ideally in 12 months but I dont know if that's me being too ambitious. My allowance money is money left after bills which pays for the kids lunch monies, travel & anything i need throughout the month such as toiletries or if I'm feeling flush, a day out. I pay my allowance into a separate account so it's completely separate from my bill money.

Also, I have found having a meal plan to reduce the temptations of takeaways. So I have week 1 and week 2 and for each day there is a meal so instead of thinking "hmm, what shall we have for tea" and takeaway being the first thought because I couldnt be bothered to hunt the freezer for food... I'v already took the meat out the night before ready for Tuesday's meal if that makes sense. I've stopped leaving the house too lol. Like I used to just go over the shops to get bits but buying them bits ended up me going to wilkos, and then b&m, and then asda and spending easily over £50 and all he needed was WD40 & some chicken breasts. Buying tit I don't really need. If I need the WD40, i'll write it on a list and wait until I'v got a decent enough list where I know I won't be able to afford to get extra tit because I really need to get these things on my list.

Nodding my head to everything you said there lol. I also have a £5000 limit on next and a few years ago I used to go mad buying stuff for the kids and home but I've only bought 2 things these past 2 years and that balance is zero. I'm also the same with very, only have buy now pay later.
Totally get you with the shops too which is why this month I've only gone into town when I've absolutely had to. My problem is if I go in a shop I feel I have to buy something, bit daft but I'm working on it lol .

Does anyone else suffer with a scarcity mindset? I’m not paid for another fortnight and when funds are low it makes me want to spend. If I had money now I’d be prudent. I can last until then, but have spent a bit this evening. However, it was discount codes and I got stuff I’d need on payday for a fraction of the price. It’s just hard not letting it snowball and saying “duck it, I’ll get that as well”.

I’m single so can’t bear the cringe of getting a takeaway for one delivered, my vices are homeware, clothes and beauty orders. I’m chipping away at debts but it’s so hard wishing your life away for paydays

Yes to the last bit I find I get fixated on 1 thing and go mad, last year it was beauty stuff, spending £100s and now I have a drawer and tin full. I have managed to sell some though, and working my way through my clothes that I bought and didn't even wear.

 

[didn't want to join]

With the shopaholic moments (and oh my, do I have my own moments of that ) for some, it's easy to go cold turkey. You walk in the shop, get the item you need (not want, not like, need) and pay, then leave.

For a lot more people, it is a habit, a little like an addiction of sorts, the cold turkey won't work very well, or at all.

So, as with any habit, you get cravings, you act on impulse and you have to support yourself to wean away from that. Just as you would cut down on sweet things on a diet, you have to begin to moderate and understand yourself.

Sometimes we can be emotional shoppers (just like emotional eaters) someone might say a rude comment about how we look, then on the way home, we walk past a shop window, see a nice top, bag, shoes.... and pop in, buy and feel instantly better, calmer, happier. Until the credit card statement arrives, we glance at our ever decreasing bank balance and then we hit the floor hard

It's a short term fix, longer problem. We need to be kind to ourselves and understand to recognise our hot spots that set us off. Take some cards out of your purse/wallet. Only take the necessary card with you when you go out. Check your balance before you go out, then if you have say £100, tell yourself there is £60. Make a list of what you need, don't ever go for a bored wander around a shop, that will lead to low feelings, fear of missing out (fomo) as you see others with full baskets and want something nice too.

Once you have bought the list items only, acknowledge in your head that you have bought items to eat or items to help you wash etc., that should help your brain understand "we did shopping" and you have gained items. If you still feel a bit meh, then note mentally how much you have spent and if we remember our £60 figure, say we spent £40 on the shopping, try hard not to focus on "ooh I have £20 left" try to think I have saved £20

This begins to retrain your thought process on how you relate to spending and shopping. If you still get an urge for a treat, make it something very small, in fact, this is a new challenge for you, just how small an amount can you spend? Something like a little chocolate bar, or maybe take a look at the reduced items (anything under £1). That way you've still saved most of your £20. Finally, consider that you told yourself you had £40 less (£100 in the bank, noted you had £60 and only spent £40 + £1 treat.) Out of your £100 in the bank, you've spent £41 in total and saved £59

Saved more than spent and have money left to put towards your debt clearance. Win win

 

[FrostyChops]

I have virtual pots that l put my wages into every month. So when l was repaying debt l still had a small budget for clothes, one take away etc. I paid off £12k over 18 months but lockdown helped. I still use the pots though, it helps keep me on track.

 

[lurkingaround123]

Does anyone have any advice for spending nothing during the month? (kind of)

I just brought a house and had a lot of work done to it, I have just over £6000 out on credit at the moment. By 1st March I have to pay off my sofas which I got on PayPal credit (£600 remaining) I could technically split this over my 28/01 & 28/02 salary payments but I'd rather slum it for a month and then be richer next month if that makes sense.

I have decided I won't buy any food shopping in this month, just going to have things out of the cupboard and smaller portions. (so also no takeaways)

Do any of you ever do a poor month? What do you cut back on?

What do you do to earn extra passive income? Which selling sites are best/what things sell best?

Sorry so many questions

 

[didn't want to join]

@lurkingaround123 (love pingu )

If you want to cut right back, you can do things like using pasta, soup, noodles (they can be bought from places like B&M /Poundland, as well as supermarkets) to bulk out meals and fill you up cheaper. Things like beans on toast, egg on toast, just like, um, toast, (yes I've done that lol) can be cheap options.

Have a look at Depop for selling items and clothing (they love vintage or older type stuff, being in my 50's, I have items that I still think are fairly new but are in fact great classic/vintage stuff, so one of my family has shifted lots of my old items on there). If you have any Zara/popular among influencer type items, that sold out fast, they go for quite big amounts sometimes, a whole lot more than the original price paid.

Ebay is good, but has fees, so be clear on those before selling. Gumtree and Shpock are also great for larger items (furniture, vehicles) as well as little home decor things. Facebook market place is great for all sorts of things, however, I've found that people want to find real bargains and want to barter on occasion, when they arrive to collect.

If you have any older clothing, still nice enough, but not trendy maybe for the moment, there are lots of little pop up type places that buy in bags of clothing for a few pounds. These can be hit and miss, because they like to pull out certain items, not actually pay you for them but still keep them anyways, which I find a bit sneaky so see if you can read reviews of those places to find the more honest ones and go to them instead.

Good luck

 

[lurkingaround123]

@lurkingaround123 (love pingu )

If you want to cut right back, you can do things like using pasta, soup, noodles (they can be bought from places like B&M /Poundland, as well as supermarkets) to bulk out meals and fill you up cheaper. Things like beans on toast, egg on toast, just like, um, toast, (yes I've done that lol) can be cheap options.

Have a look at Depop for selling items and clothing (they love vintage or older type stuff, being in my 50's, I have items that I still think are fairly new but are in fact great classic/vintage stuff, so one of my family has shifted lots of my old items on there). If you have any Zara/popular among influencer type items, that sold out fast, they go for quite big amounts sometimes, a whole lot more than the original price paid.

Ebay is good, but has fees, so be clear on those before selling. Gumtree and Shpock are also great for larger items (furniture, vehicles) as well as little home decor things. Facebook market place is great for all sorts of things, however, I've found that people want to find real bargains and want to barter on occasion, when they arrive to collect.

If you have any older clothing, still nice enough, but not trendy maybe for the moment, there are lots of little pop up type places that buy in bags of clothing for a few pounds. These can be hit and miss, because they like to pull out certain items, not actually pay you for them but still keep them anyways, which I find a bit sneaky so see if you can read reviews of those places to find the more honest ones and go to them instead.

Good luck

Thank you! I have so much spaghetti in my house for someone who never makes spaghetti, so I might go and get a cheap pasta sauce to see me through a few meals. I usually batch cook so luckily I have a few really nice homemade curries and the like in the freezer to space out the boring meals

I have a cheap bag of porridge, which I have weighed portions in to little reusable freezer bags I got from Ikea, which has cost me less than half the price of buying porridge portions to take in to work which has really pleased me, its the little things

When I get back from work I am going to go through my wardrobe and be brutal in getting rid of things, I'll have a go at ebaying/depoping them! I think that is a good thing to do anyway isn't it, I hate clutter and overconsumption, so maybe this is a sign to narrow down my belongings

 

[chapterthree]

I have some debt to clear but I won’t be disclosing the amount. I’m thinking of doing to debt avalanche? Got an email saying PayPal credit is doing compound interest in two months which will give me a kick up the backside to get it paid….

 

[PumpkinKing]

Update from me. Managed to pay an extra £140 off at the end of Feb so my debt currently stands at £7,704.50. Managed to pay off £386.51 since I started this thread and £639 since the beginning of January.
I've been sat wondering what the hell I've been doing with my money, also thinking, imagine how much I could be saving if I didn't have these debts. Ah well, it's motivation anyway. It would have been more but.... kids! But they shouldn't suffer for my mistakes so I do give them money and buy them stuff.

I doubt March will be as good as I have 3 birthdays and mother's day.
Still struggling to cut down on money spent on junk food, I've done a LOT of stress/comfort eating

 

[didn't want to join]

Update from me. Managed to pay an extra £140 off at the end of Feb so my debt currently stands at £7,704.50. Managed to pay off £386.51 since I started this thread and £639 since the beginning of January.
I've been sat wondering what the hell I've been doing with my money, also thinking, imagine how much I could be saving if I didn't have these debts. Ah well, it's motivation anyway. It would have been more but.... kids! But they shouldn't suffer for my mistakes so I do give them money and buy them stuff.

I doubt March will be as good as I have 3 birthdays and mother's day.
Still struggling to cut down on money spent on junk food, I've done a LOT of stress/comfort eating

Wow, that is a huge amount paid off, you've done amazing there, for real that is something to be really proud of.

I had been doing ok with mine, chipping little bits off, but another member of the family has just come clean over the last 2 weeks about their own financial battles and that has meant some of my debts have had a smaller amount chipped off, as I'm also putting into the pot to assist the other debts (which overlap to me - utilities).

Sometimes it can feel that it's so little, has it achieved anything? But actually, so long as the amounts are decreasing, then yes it really does achieve a lot.

For the comfort eating part, there's fakeaways - I've found pizza deals, so I have those instead of well known high st brands. I've found OFC (other fried chicken ) and put together Indian and Chinese cuisine dishes by using cook in sauces and yellow sticker veg.

Oddly, I've found if you have sugar filled, or grease loaded foods, these also leave you feeling unfilled, deflated and low. They often don't have much in the way of vitamins and such, so when you make your own cheaper versions at home, you can actually feel more filled, motivated and uplifted

If you have a slow cooker (anyone looking, check out the freecycles or gumtree, shpock, market place type to find cheap ones, look for the larger pot sized ones if possible) you can bulk cook, I do it at the weekend and then store the freezer up. That way if you are tired and fed up, you can put the slow cooker on again in the week, pop in a couple of large ice cubes of pre-cooked stuff and it's ready later in the day. You simply add rice or spaghetti (which you can also bulk buy cheaply - look for offers) and it's an easy, quick, filling dinner for a fraction of the cost.

I've recently found Iceland have a Warehouse part (larger stores) but equally, the smaller ones stock some of those items too, they have massive bulk bags of various chicken, chips, which you can then split into zip bags in the freezer. They also carry bulk loo roll packs, kitchen towels shampoo. All sorts of things really. Sometimes I found I spent extra if I went into a shop a few times a week, here and there to buy bread, or something else we were low on.

If you are saving with family, you could even buy in bulk and share between two of you.

You can save more by stocking up a few spares when they are cheap to avoid the shops and those impulse buys which soon add up.

 

[lurkingaround123]

I love seeing all these achievements! It makes me more motivated to shift mine. By the end of this month I hope to reduce my debt to just over £5000. £4800 of my debt is on a 23 month no interest credit card so once the extra bits and bobs are cleared ill be just paying a few hundred pounds a month off that which will feel amazing compared to the massive sums I've been paying recently.

I'd thoroughly recommend checking if your job makes you eligible for a membership to the company shop. I got my membership when I worked in the public sector. I got a load of stuff the other day, loads to keep in the freezer and soups for lunch etc, and 15 beers and it came to less than £25, without the beers it'd have been £17. I don't think I'll need to do another shop this month after that either, just a couple of runs for fresh bits.

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Just joining this thread as I have a fair bit of debt, mainly owed to my lovely mum who helps us out SO much but also embarrassingly quite a lot on credit cards but definitely not an unmanageable amount, but enough to hang over me and feel like a bit of a cloud.

I have this problem whereby I will go to buy something I really want then have to buy about 5 more things on top? Like I can never just buy one thing, it has to be loads to get that fulfilling feeling. I then feel so sick with myself because it’s money I could have spent elsewhere but then the cycle repeats. Probably sounds silly but I get worse during seasons changing, probably because this is when all the new bits come out in the shops. I’m definitely always worse when we are low on funds - especially takeaways etc, my partner is the same.

Anyway, hoping this thread can keep me in check as I find it really motivating when other people are knocking off big chunks of their debts and I can get some good ideas from it.

 

[didn't want to join]

Just joining this thread as I have a fair bit of debt, mainly owed to my lovely mum who helps us out SO much but also embarrassingly quite a lot on credit cards but definitely not an unmanageable amount, but enough to hang over me and feel like a bit of a cloud.

I have this problem whereby I will go to buy something I really want then have to buy about 5 more things on top? Like I can never just buy one thing, it has to be loads to get that fulfilling feeling. I then feel so sick with myself because it’s money I could have spent elsewhere but then the cycle repeats. Probably sounds silly but I get worse during seasons changing, probably because this is when all the new bits come out in the shops. I’m definitely always worse when we are low on funds - especially takeaways etc, my partner is the same.

Anyway, hoping this thread can keep me in check as I find it really motivating when other people are knocking off big chunks of their debts and I can get some good ideas from it.

Your post is so incredibly honest and I will tell you, you are not alone in what you describe. When you say "fulfilling feeling", this is such an important thing.

I had a stage a while back, where I had been a full time carer for a family member who passed away. I began buying bits and pieces for my home (their room was bare, once all their things had gone) and it then carried on and on. Boxes would arrive and I'd feel elated, excited and happy from the purchase. The boxes would be stacked up, ready to open once I had decorated the room. Eventually................ the room was half filled with boxes there wasn't any room to decorate.

I realised I was simply attempting to fill a gap, a loneliness and to try and feel as you describe, more fulfilled. Once I had realised this, I understood that I wasn't really changing anything, I was purely filling my home with items that I almost certainly didn't actually need and while they sat gathering dust, fashions moved on and the items weren't that appealing anymore.

I also had a few months of buying clothing, also trying to feel better about myself (my uniform for almost 9 years had been joggers and t-shirts, because I never went anywhere due to caring). One of my family was having a cross moment one day and blurted out, I don't know why you bother, you never go anywhere - and again, I realised I was simply buying another item to fill that same gap.

It was helpful to find out what my "gap" was, in my case grieving and then to have some support. After that I began clearing away the unnecessary items and used the money from selling some of it (others I gifted away to charity) to clear the cards I had used to buy it all.

I've had one of my waffling on moments there but I thought I'd share as it might resonate with you a little