Unrelated to the current topic, but a quick question — I’m approaching my 30’s & would like to have my first child soon, however, my work is pretty hectic (I work 6 days a week, which includes the weekend). And this will not change for the next couple of years. Also, I doubt I’d be able to take months off from work. I was wondering, if anyone’s in a similar situation and also raising children? How do you handle it? I don’t really want to put off having children & wait until I’m 40 (not that there’s anything wrong with having kids at 40), but if my current situation really isn’t ideal for child raising, I guess I’ll have to postpone having kids. Thank you.
If you’re approaching your 30s you’ve still got plenty of time!
Theres also the option of shared parental leave im not sure if you’ve looked into that? But basically you can share your maternity with your partner so you can go back to work earlier. Obviously it’s super personal as it depends on salaries and personal circumstances. Do you have family to use for childcare? Private childcare for babies is extremely expensive
and the only govt help you would qualify for is tax free childcare (assuming both you and your partner work) However some workplaces offer childcare vouchers so you could look into that too!
There are so many options for you, but yeah it’s so hard to make a decision about something like this when you don’t know what to expect from having a baby!
There’s obviously a lot of horror stories out there from women who’s careers have been affected by taking time off to have a baby. So if you were worried that this might happen it would be a good idea to read up on all of the legal jargon about what employers can and can’t do with your job will your away. Have you heard of the insta page pregnant then screwed? The lady who runs it does loads of stuff around this so maybe give her a follow, she also has a book.
It’s doable think you need to ask yourself why you want to have a child soon. Once babies get into a routine they will often be asleep from 7pm to 7am. If you can’t take months off maternity and have a child in childcare for work hours, you’d run the risk of only seeing your child awake at weekends. Also, full time childcare averages around £40-50 a day depending where you live and much of your child’s development would be in someone else’s hands, would this be ok with you? If you had a child with extra needs, even just a bad sleeper or colicy baby, could you take time out to be with them when they need you? What do you see as the benefits to having a child now that make you not want to wait?
I’d also have a brief glance at the TTC threads. Around 15% of couples will have trouble conceiving, it can take years and various medical procedures. Unfortunately you can’t just chose when you have a child and it happen, how would you deal with that?
As said, if you can afford it, it’s doable but only you know how you’d deal with the possible Mum guilt of being torn between work and a child.
Also, this! It’s so personal but yeah basically if you and your partner were going back to work full time after a few months of baby being born a huge chunk of their development would be in someone else’s hands, and they change so much and so often in that first year.
In January I had to go back to work full time to secure my job so I could take my 2nd maternity leave starting in March, so had to put my 2 yr old in nursery full time for 3 months. She changed so much in this time and I felt so sad that I might have missed some firsts for her while she was at nursery! The mum guilt was real man.
You will literally get them out of bed, take them to nursery, pick them up and put them to bed for 5 days a week. I know it’s such a cliche but you really will never get that time back and it’s such an amazing thing to watch your little one grow you may regret it in years to come?
Don’t mean to lay it on thick but it’s really worth thinking about your situation emotionally as well as practically and financially.
as well. That horrendous moment when you know they are about to latch and you just want to run a mile! I got silver cups this time after seeing them recommended a lot. Never used them before (this is baby 4) and they definitely help out. I’m not sure if they help healing the way they say, but they provide a lovely little safe zone for you nipples - nothing rubbing against them or banging them accidentally, which is great! Also doing the super attractive thing of expressing a little bit of milk on to them and letting them air dry. So basically sitting round all evening with my baps hanging out
just wondering if anyone can give advice on dummies/pacifiers.
She is my second and we have been doing well since the birth, but I have been feeling such mum guilt for my 3 yr old daughter 
I was the same before I got pregnant I felt so guilty as she never had a sibling to play with and my best friend had 2 in under 2yrs and another close friend has twins.My husband said he’s also been feeling guilt for her which made me question whether it was the hormones or just a normal part of having more children.
