New baby / post birth advice

[Upintheair83]

Get lots of lavender oil if you are having a vaginal birth. This was an absolute godsend for me. I soaked my pads in it and put it in my baths and it really helped.

The only other advice is to not have any visitors you don’t want! I didn’t dare say no to anybody with my first baby in case I looked rude, but I really struggled to breastfeed and I remember sitting upstairs really struggling and being paranoid I had visitors downstairs waiting to meet the baby. In hindsight I wish I told them to just leave and let me concentrate on feeding my baby. It’s definitely something I’d do with my next.

I’m so worried about this. My baby is due 28th June- so just after restrictions will be lifted and I’m terrified of lots of people wanting to come round. Not only will I be worried about Covid but I just want to be in that bubble for a bit with my baby. I’m so anxious my MIL will interfere. At the moment she doesn’t seem remotely bothered about me being pregnant- she’s not even said congratulations or asked how I am- but I just have this feeling she will be all over us like a rash when he arrives. And she’s the last person I want to see straight away. I can just see her wanting all her side of the family to come over too and invade the house, claiming my other half should see them as it’s been so long. But I’m scared of causing offence. She’s so opinionated and I’m very shy, but it’s already causing me to panic. I feel Like this little bubble Iv been in my pregnancy will just burst open and I won’t be able to cope with all the visitors as everyone will want to socialise won’t they?
Just makes me so scared and anxious

 

[Stimpii]

I had my baby in a January so she’s hardly seen anyone. I’m in a bubble with my mum.

I’m anxious about people just expecting to be able to come round as soon as restrictions are eased as I’ve been so used to keeping her at home and not passing her around

 

[Esme]

@NP I’d say with the virus you are wanting to keep contact and visitors into the house at a minimum. The date in June might not happen, it’s more a date they’d hope for life to be normal. In the early days of breastfeeding, baby feeds little & often as they bring your milk in and have a tiny stomach. I lived on my sofa but also enjoyed days in bed. Your thirst and hunger will be off the scale especially with cluster feeding so make sure you have lots of drinks and snacks to hand, the tv remote and a phone charger my husband used to make bottles of squash up, make my lunch and leave me a bundle of snacks before he left for work. it’s hard in the beginning but so amazing and worth it once established.
@Heybooboo so glad you’ll have your parents to help you. That’s such a shame about the restrictions and your MIL. Can you FaceTime/Skype in the meantime? Fingers crossed it isn’t too long now until she’ll be able to come and visit you all.

 

[Definitelyme]

so glad you’ll have your parents to help you. That’s such a shame about the restrictions and your MIL. Can you FaceTime/Skype in the meantime? Fingers crossed it isn’t too long now until she’ll be able to come and visit you all.

Thanks yes we FaceTime them twice a week anyway, so they can see the older kids and it always feels more like we’ve actually seen them then, even when we haven’t. Just hoping the restrictions don’t last too long. In England (where they live) at least we should be able to visit them in the summer, but we will see!

 

[Kit123]

Glad for this thread.

am meant to be getting induced in a few weeks, but have heard horror stories from my 2 friends about how they weren’t given any pain relief (not even gas and air) till delivery room!

can anyone shed light on their induction experience?

i have already had one baby, was meant to get induced with her but she came early and it all happened so quickly so laboured at home and was ready to push by the time i got to hospital, managed to have gas and air at the end!

If I went into natural labour i think i’d be more relaxed but have heard how Intense it is with induction and think I’ll definitely need something earlier in that case.

more worried about labour this time around tbh because I know what’s in store

I was induced but I can't compare as was my first. It took three pessarys to get things going though. I didn't have gas and air until on the labour ward so just had regular analgesia on the pre natal ward and that doesn't touch the sides I'm sorry but it was very painful, with being Induced you don't have that natural run up to it so contractions happen quickly and painful! My first contractions started around 3am but active labour was around half 10 and I gave birth at 3pm.
Don't worry though, I was two weeks over so just desperate to not be pregnant anymore!

 

[NP]

Your husband is a gem @Esme. Mine leaves for work at 5am so lunch will be tricky but I could definitely get him on board with a snack and drink stash left by the sofa (as long as our toddler doesn’t want to share!). My section is within the next couple of weeks and we’re allowed to form a support bubble with a household if you have a child under 1, so it’ll be within the next few weeks that they’ll be visiting. I’m just hoping they don’t take the household rule literally and all come along everyday I will have to say something if that happens. I really want to breastfeed this time and I don’t want an audience while trying to get to grips with it. Maybe that’s exactly what I’ll have to say to set some ground rules.

 

[Heybooboo]

Glad for this thread.

am meant to be getting induced in a few weeks, but have heard horror stories from my 2 friends about how they weren’t given any pain relief (not even gas and air) till delivery room!

can anyone shed light on their induction experience?

i have already had one baby, was meant to get induced with her but she came early and it all happened so quickly so laboured at home and was ready to push by the time i got to hospital, managed to have gas and air at the end!

If I went into natural labour i think i’d be more relaxed but have heard how Intense it is with induction and think I’ll definitely need something earlier in that case.

more worried about labour this time around tbh because I know what’s in store

I was induced and personally only had period type cramps so I could cope fine until they popped my waters at delivery suite it fully kicked in but I had gas and air until epidural and it was fine Also a wimp with pain but it was totally managaeable, also something changes in you like you can cope all of a sudden maybe instinct? I’m not sure but you will be fine
It took 3 days but it was quite chilled out looking back now

a week before being induced we went to a birthday party where all these women told me there horror stories of being induced and really panicked Me but it wasn’t like that atall in the end. I can’t compare to a normal birth but it felt so safe and controlled to be induced

 

[Pinkii]

Thanks everyone for your induction tales. Feel less nervous now.

i got through my first labour fine so hopefully should be ok, but tales of inductions always scare me as you only hear the worst!

 

[Stimpii]

I’ve done all 3 of my labours on just paracetamol. Was given codeine an hour before I gave birth in Jan (but I threw up 20 mins after taking it ) I don’t like gas and air.

I’m also a massive wimp but when it comes to labour that seems to change. With induction I was scared of not having a water birth like with my first 2, but the actual pushing part didn’t feel any different.

 

[allforthegram]

A friend told me a great piece of advice “there’s no prizes for no pain relief” The birth was back to back and that epidural was life changing

been reading everyone’s posts regarding breastfeeding, I gave it a go it was the hardest thing. I lasted 2 1/2 weeks, my little one wasnt really gaining weight and feeding almost every hour for an hour. I sought help to see if I was doing something wrong, in the end I just could not give her enough milk. I’ll be honest I felt like a failure, I cried, I wanted to carry on because I was being pushed that way but on reflection stopping was the best thing. The constant 24 hour demand was getting too much, hormonal and exhausted nipples felt like they were going to fall off.
We got her onto formula and we both have been SO
Much more relaxed, happier and she’s contented because she’s actually full at a feed, and she’s actually gaining now!
So do what you got to do, as they say fed is best!

 

[Stimpii]

A friend told me a great piece of advice “there’s no prizes for no pain relief” The birth was back to back and that epidural was life changing

By the time I asked for gas and air this time it was too late. I just knew I needed something else.

I’ve been quite ‘lucky’ with my labours. You soon forget about the pain, otherwise we wouldn’t do it over again

 

[Esme]

@allforthegram you aren’t a failure at all! It’s amazing you managed to breastfeed, never forget that. Every drop counts I’m glad everything has worked out for you now.

breastfeeding grief is a real thing. I was so determined to continue feeding even when my daughter wasn’t gaining the weight she should. She had a tongue tie that if I’d started bottle feeding would have been left and caused more issues down the line. It needed to be sorted regardless of how I fed her and I was lucky I got the support I needed to carry on. This was pre Covid and I honestly can’t bear to think how many more mums have been left during the pandemic, worried about weight gain or development, there’s no home visits or drop in weigh clinics to check with someone or they’re trying to breastfeed and not getting the help they need if they don’t want to stop. It’s like you have the baby and you’re expected just to get on with things.

 

[Kit123]

@allforthegram you aren’t a failure at all! It’s amazing you managed to breastfeed, never forget that. Every drop counts I’m glad everything has worked out for you now.

breastfeeding grief is a real thing. I was so determined to continue feeding even when my daughter wasn’t gaining the weight she should. She had a tongue tie that if I’d started bottle feeding would have been left and caused more issues down the line. It needed to be sorted regardless of how I fed her and I was lucky I got the support I needed to carry on. This was pre Covid and I honestly can’t bear to think how many more mums have been left during the pandemic, worried about weight gain or development, there’s no home visits or drop in weigh clinics to check with someone or they’re trying to breastfeed and not getting the help they need if they don’t want to stop. It’s like you have the baby and you’re expected just to get on with things.

Covid has effed everything! I have no idea how much my 5 month old weighs. I go by her clothes not fitting I've only met my HV once in all this time

 

[Definitelyme]

Covid has effed everything! I have no idea how much my 5 month old weighs. I go by her clothes not fitting I've only met my HV once in all this time

That is shocking. I was really surprised when I got a call for my daughter’s 2 year HV review a while ago, and it was in person. Whereas my sister hasn’t seen her HV since my (now 17mo) nephew was 6 months. There is no consistency, and it is really worrying to think about the things, the babies, who could be slipping through the net during this time.

 

[Kit123]

That is shocking. I was really surprised when I got a call for my daughter’s 2 year HV review a while ago, and it was in person. Whereas my sister hasn’t seen her HV since my (now 17mo) nephew was 6 months. There is no consistency, and it is really worrying to think about the things, the babies, who could be slipping through the net during this time.

It's so crap isn't it. I agree with you, it is worrying. Even we said so now we just have a baby to look after, no one checks on you!

 

[littlepup]

It was me said my post bleeding was like a light period (after about 3 days) - I’ve got stacks of un used inco pants (Aldi’s are good and tena will send you 2 on a free trial) and maternity pads so for me, I wouldn’t buy lots until you know. I’m a month pp and it’s still there but like the last day of a period for me. I don’t know if breast feeding has anything to do with it, you contract back more apparently. TMI but it came flooding out every time I fed the first few days, I could feel my uterus contracting and it all releasing.

re post-natal care - I’ve had a nightmare with feeding and managing to get the support. My advice is to keep pushing. Been told by both the midwife and health visitor feeding teams and the tongue tie specialist after referrals they have no appointments and they were referring me back. I said I’d wait, when was their first available slot and I’ll have it, video appointment? I’ll have that. Spoke to midwives and health visitor again, asked them to refer again. All magically came back with appointments

 

[Definitelyme]

It was me said my post bleeding was like a light period (after about 3 days) - I’ve got stacks of un used inco pants (Aldi’s are good and tena will send you 2 on a free trial) and maternity pads so for me, I wouldn’t buy lots until you know. I’m a month pp and it’s still there but like the last day of a period for me. I don’t know if breast feeding has anything to do with it, you contract back more apparently. TMI but it came flooding out every time I fed the first few days, I could feel my uterus contracting and it all releasing.

re post-natal care - I’ve had a nightmare with feeding and managing to get the support. My advice is to keep pushing. Been told by both the midwife and health visitor feeding teams and the tongue tie specialist after referrals they have no appointments and they were referring me back. I said I’d wait, when was their first available slot and I’ll have it, video appointment? I’ll have that. Spoke to midwives and health visitor again, asked them to refer again. All magically came back with appointments

Im sorry you’re having a tough time with feeding support. It sounds like you are doing a great job persevering to get things sorted, which is incredible. Are you waiting for a tongue tie release?

I wonder if the pp bleeding is connected to how heavy your periods are? Mine are extremely heavy, so I have wondered if it’s all something connected and that’s why I bleed more? It’s definitely not to do with breastfeeding as all mine have been ebf, but yes apparently it does contract your uterus back more quickly.

 

[Esme]

It’s awful new mums have been left, I’m sure the self weigh clinics could have opened just so mums could check their baby’s weight. We’d put a muslin over the scale anyway so it wasn’t cold. If paper towels and sanitising products to wipe down afterwards were left out, each mum could wipe it down.

@littlepup I’m so sorry you’re having a struggle getting feeding support, it’s good to hear you’ve got appointments. My daughter was doing 13 sucks to a swallow but after the release it was 2. It changed her whole temperament and we finally got a routine. My milk supply had dwindled and she was feeding more and more but unable to get the milk and so that was telling my body it needed to produce less. It’s such a horrible vicious circle but I’m so glad we managed to turn things around. It breaks my heart mums are fighting for support and appointments.

 

[littlepup]

Im sorry you’re having a tough time with feeding support. It sounds like you are doing a great job persevering to get things sorted, which is incredible. Are you waiting for a tongue tie release?

I wonder if the pp bleeding is connected to how heavy your periods are? Mine are extremely heavy, so I have wondered if it’s all something connected and that’s why I bleed more? It’s definitely not to do with breastfeeding as all mine have been ebf, but yes apparently it does contract your uterus back more quickly.

It might be something like that as I get very light periods bar one day of it.
There’s definitely no one size fits all in anything remotely pregnancy related!

I’m by no means against formula btw. We have history of many conditions breast feeding is proven to reduce instances of otherwise I’d have jacked it in after day 4. I wish I’d taken in more regarding technique etc before she arrived as I expected it to be natural and relatively easy and it wasn’t at all for us, I’ve hated it and that’s really disappointing.
She had a small tongue restriction that they initially said didn’t need releasing but since I’ve had such trouble they said it could be the reason so it’s been cut today. Early days as I’m so sore it’s hard to tell but I think it’s going to be better.

A few pages back someone talked about constipation, not sure if it was sorted. I’ve read lots of times that ready made formula is good for it and where we’ve used it a few times it’s certainly resulted in some explosive nappies

 

[MakeDamnSure]

My youngest is 19 months and hasn’t been weighed since he was 6 months old! He hasn’t been seen by any health visitors, his 9-12 month review was a phone call. As he’s been growing out of all his clothes I’m not concerned or anything but if he was my 1st I would probably be a bit anxious that he hadn’t been seen at all by anyone. Unfortunately there must be a lot of babies who are slipping through the cracks and are not getting the intervention they need.
I don’t see why they can’t just have the weigh in clinic but you have to book a time slot instead of a drop in clinic and they have always sanitised the scales between use anyway. You would have to where a mask obviously but I think there is a way around it where they can still operate. Those clinics can be a lifeline for new mums especially.