New baby / post birth advice

[HoneyBee29]

I think we’ve probably all been there. With my first we had so much stuff we thought we needed and realistically we didn’t use half of it. The Bumbo is an example - absolutely stupid piece of kit that was all the rage when I had my first. Some people loved them but i did not

I just had my first in March and tbh we didn’t go mad with stuff we just got the basics we needed. The only things was I bought far too many clothes and she’s barely wore half of them and then the bottles and steriliser and also my pram I got a silver cross 3 in 1 and it’s great for the car seat when your out just putting it onto the pram frame but she literally only got about 11/12 weeks out of the carrycot before she was too big for it and she’s too small for the seat unit atm only does from 6 months up so I had to buy her a smaller buggy to do until she fits in the seat unit of the bigger pram I kind of wish I had of just saved money and just bought a car seat on its own and a smaller/lighter buggy you can use from birth probably would have worked out cheaper as well

I got given a nappy bin with my second and so many people told me how useful it was.
Never used it.
So much easier to grab a nappy bag and throw it in the bin!

I got told they where great too and never used it I’ve a tommee tippee one it just seems like a faff to me plus the refills for it are like £20 each

 

[Hbirdette]

I just had my first in March and tbh we didn’t go mad with stuff we just got the basics we needed. The only things was I bought far too many clothes and she’s barely wore half of them and then the bottles and steriliser and also my pram I got a silver cross 3 in 1 and it’s great for the car seat when your out just putting it onto the pram frame but she literally only got about 11/12 weeks out of the carrycot before she was too big for it and she’s too small for the seat unit atm only does from 6 months up so I had to buy her a smaller buggy to do until she fits in the seat unit of the bigger pram I kind of wish I had of just saved money and just bought a car seat on its own and a smaller/lighter buggy you can use from birth probably would have worked out cheaper as well



I got told they where great too and never used it I’ve a tommee tippee one it just seems like a faff to me plus the refills for it are like £20 each

I’m glad it’s not just my baby that didn’t get much use out of the carry cot! When we bought the pram they were like this will easily last you til 6 months! 14 weeks later with a very long baby

Wow baby B has been sooooo Unsettled today, he’s knackered. Went on a really long walk at lunch time and he was wide awake and he will only settle on husband and I at the mo... nearly bedtime. I think today deserves a glass of wine!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Evening all! Have optimistically decided to book a holiday for when baby will be 3 months old Any tips for surviving a (relatively short) flight with a young baby.. am I mad to even consider this?

 

[OIM]

Evening all! Have optimistically decided to book a holiday for when baby will be 3 months old Any tips for surviving a (relatively short) flight with a young baby.. am I mad to even consider this?

It’s a great time to fly with a baby. They’re still a bit newborn sleepy and the white noise of the aeroplane lulls them to sleep. Just try to feed at take off and landing so they’re sucking and their ears don’t pop.

 

[Definitelyme]

Evening all! Have optimistically decided to book a holiday for when baby will be 3 months old Any tips for surviving a (relatively short) flight with a young baby.. am I mad to even consider this?

Not mad at all! As @OIM says it’s a perfect time to fly with a baby. We’ve flown with all ours, the youngest age would have been around 7-8 weeks. Just pack spares of spares in your hand luggage, including for you. One memorable incident involved someone being sick on me in the airport. I got changed in to my spare top. The wee buggar was sick again on me on the plane - top, trousers and my pants all sodden. No extra spares so I was just covered in vomit. It was all in the belt buckle too also a sling for the airport is brilliant so you’re not fussing with a buggy.

We are flying next week and baby will be 12 weeks. He’ll be the easiest, it’s entertaining the others is the pain

 

[moimoi]

I woke up at 3am to my boy squirming around, he settled back down when I put his dummy in. My tits were rock solid so took the opportunity to hand express, got about 100mls. Most I've ever been able to do. Now if only I could do that during the day instead of 10-20mls per go!

 

[OIM]

Have any of you with older children had any of your children share a room?

 

[Pinkii]

So i may not word this correctly and I really don’t want to offend anyone so apologies if it comes across as uncaring or Insensitive

But does anyone else think its like a taboo subject to say you are enjoying the baby stage and you have a great chilled baby and it’s actually not that hard for you?

I know i’m VERY lucky that my baby seems very good and chilled (i know from experience that it won’t always be like this) but i am currently loving this stage with my baby

I feel i can’t say this out loud though as you always get the what about isms from others who are struggling and I know it can be hard, i’ve been there and i’m not diminishing anyone else’s experience, i’m just talking about my own

Recently seens husbands friends and their wives who have had babies and they asked me how i’m getting on and I said yeh really good atm and got some dodgey looks cause i wasn’t at breaking point

Then one of the girls that night put a story on instagram about how hard motherhood is and people need to be more sensitive to others and what they are going through in their journey

I literally said its going really well ATM but it was tough at first cause of reflux issues and lack of sleep is hard but also used to that as eldest has constant sleep regressions, but apparently because im finding it easy atm, i was the enemy.

 

[Hbirdette]

So i may not word this correctly and I really don’t want to offend anyone so apologies if it comes across as uncaring or Insensitive

But does anyone else think its like a taboo subject to say you are enjoying the baby stage and you have a great chilled baby and it’s actually not that hard for you?

I know i’m VERY lucky that my baby seems very good and chilled (i know from experience that it won’t always be like this) but i am currently loving this stage with my baby

I feel i can’t say this out loud though as you always get the what about isms from others who are struggling and I know it can be hard, i’ve been there and i’m not diminishing anyone else’s experience, i’m just talking about my own

Recently seens husbands friends and their wives who have had babies and they asked me how i’m getting on and I said yeh really good atm and got some dodgey looks cause i wasn’t at breaking point

Then one of the girls that night put a story on instagram about how hard motherhood is and people need to be more sensitive to others and what they are going through in their journey

I literally said its going really well ATM but it was tough at first cause of reflux issues and lack of sleep is hard but also used to that as eldest has constant sleep regressions, but apparently because im finding it easy atm, i was the enemy.

Could have written this myself! I’m totally the same.. also had a very straightforward birth and I’ve had some really crappy comments about that lol.
when people ask me how baby is and I say he’s chilled out their response is “it won’t last forever” alright babe calm down I never said it would lol

 

[Pinkii]

Could have written this myself! I’m totally the same.. also had a very straightforward birth and I’ve had some really crappy comments about that lol.
when people ask me how baby is and I say he’s chilled out their response is “it won’t last forever” alright babe calm down I never said it would lol

Yeh i feel like its meant to be a constant competition over who has it worse and how hard it is. Like i said I know it will change soon but can i not just enjoy the good times without being made to feel bad

 

[WhatABore]

So i may not word this correctly and I really don’t want to offend anyone so apologies if it comes across as uncaring or Insensitive

But does anyone else think its like a taboo subject to say you are enjoying the baby stage and you have a great chilled baby and it’s actually not that hard for you?

I know i’m VERY lucky that my baby seems very good and chilled (i know from experience that it won’t always be like this) but i am currently loving this stage with my baby

I feel i can’t say this out loud though as you always get the what about isms from others who are struggling and I know it can be hard, i’ve been there and i’m not diminishing anyone else’s experience, i’m just talking about my own

Recently seens husbands friends and their wives who have had babies and they asked me how i’m getting on and I said yeh really good atm and got some dodgey looks cause i wasn’t at breaking point

Then one of the girls that night put a story on instagram about how hard motherhood is and people need to be more sensitive to others and what they are going through in their journey

I literally said its going really well ATM but it was tough at first cause of reflux issues and lack of sleep is hard but also used to that as eldest has constant sleep regressions, but apparently because im finding it easy atm, i was the enemy.

I completely get this!
I feel like a lot of the time, you're not "allowed" to talk about any easy things because not everyone has it easy and if you do, you're classed as boasting or rubbing it in their faces.

I've had 3 now. And I've never been in the position where you see the Mums Instagram or the stereotypical new mum where they have time for nothing, don't shower, struggle to find time to eat, can't put makeup on ect ect.
I've never had that.
Even with a newborn.
And I never talk about it when I get asked because I don't want to seem like I'm bragging.
My 13 week old has been the worst sleeper out of them all, waking every 2 hours or so and I know some people don't even get that. But as soon as we'd got her into a routine with the other kids, she sleeps at least 6 hours. Again, I know I'm very lucky.
All the kids have had the typical sleep regressions at certain stages. Hard times when they refuse to sleep, things like that.
But I've never felt like these posts you see.

But I do feel like you're only allowed to talk about it if you're struggling.

 

[Hbirdette]

Yeh i feel like its meant to be a constant competition over who has it worse and how hard it is. Like i said I know it will change soon but can i not just enjoy the good times without being made to feel bad

Exactly! Don’t feel bad at al! I hate to say this but to me it comes across as jealousy sometimes... I’m not saying everything is perfect, I really struggled to breastfeed due to his latch and him being severely jaundiced so was struggling to feed. it really got me down. Still bugs me but I just get on with it!

 

[WhatABore]

Could have written this myself! I’m totally the same.. also had a very straightforward birth and I’ve had some really crappy comments about that lol.
when people ask me how baby is and I say he’s chilled out their response is “it won’t last forever” alright babe calm down I never said it would lol

This! I've always had this!
Thing is though, it has lasted
Everyone's always like "Don't get used to it" ect ect "it won't last"
But they've always been quite chilled.
Sure there's been phases where they haven't but even with my son, he's well behaved at 8..and even now people are still like "Just wait til this stage.. Just wait til this age"
Why can't you just let people say positive things? Why do you always have to be waiting for the bad times?

 

[Hbirdette]

This! I've always had this!
Thing is though, it has lasted
Everyone's always like "Don't get used to it" ect ect "it won't last"
But they've always been quite chilled.
Sure there's been phases where they haven't but even with my son, he's well behaved at 8..and even now people are still like "Just wait til this stage.. Just wait til this age"
Why can't you just let people say positive things? Why do you always have to be waiting for the bad times?

Yep! I also found that before I got pregnant loads of women were like omg it’s the best thing you’ll ever do, you should definitely have children it’s amazing. Then the second I got pregnant, the same women were like “did I tell you about when I gave birth my vagina tore straight through to my asshole”
No. You didn’t, but thanks

 

[Definitelyme]

Ah ladies, don’t you know EVERYTHING has to be a competition with motherhood?! If you’re not whining, you’re not doing it right

It’s sad, I think, that women see it almost as a badge of honour to complain about having a baby or kids. Now, I don’t mean people who are genuinely struggling, who really are having a tit time (hello my eldest son.. that was a horrendous time for me) and really need support. I mean the mums who just complain because of going one better, almost thinking it’s cool to moan about your kids.

Screw it. If you’re loving every second and having a great experience that is AMAZING and it should be celebrated. My last two have both been little dreams, and it’s fab!

As @WhatABore said, I’ve never been in that place of not having time to shower, or haven’t been able to wash my hair for a week or whatever, even with the hard times with baby 2. But some mums just see it all as a badge of honour “oh I haven’t washed washed my hair in 3 days” “oh you’re lucky, it’s been 6 months since I have…”

 

[Pinkii]

This! I've always had this!
Thing is though, it has lasted
Everyone's always like "Don't get used to it" ect ect "it won't last"
But they've always been quite chilled.
Sure there's been phases where they haven't but even with my son, he's well behaved at 8..and even now people are still like "Just wait til this stage.. Just wait til this age"
Why can't you just let people say positive things? Why do you always have to be waiting for the bad times?

Omg that’s the thing, the girl i mentioned is constantly posting quotes about how people don’t potray motherhood in its reality and no one warned her how much you have to sacrifice but you don’t want to constantly tell a new mum or mum to be about the hard times as they will be aware of that and its not really constructive anyways but you’re also not allowed to say it can be good because others find it hard

Thanks Ladies, glad to see to see others feel the same.

 

[Definitelyme]

For me, I always think it’s similar to those memes you see about mothers needing to drink to cope with their kids. It’s almost fashionable to get on like motherhood is horrendous. (And being real, it does have its moments )

 

[HoneyBee29]

I’m glad it’s not just my baby that didn’t get much use out of the carry cot! When we bought the pram they were like this will easily last you til 6 months! 14 weeks later with a very long baby

Wow baby B has been sooooo Unsettled today, he’s knackered. Went on a really long walk at lunch time and he was wide awake and he will only settle on husband and I at the mo... nearly bedtime. I think today deserves a glass of wine!

I don’t know how they expect you to get 6 months out of it I don’t know anybody who got 6 months out of a carrycot. I did use mine a lot tbh as I did take her on a lot of walks

Yep! I also found that before I got pregnant loads of women were like omg it’s the best thing you’ll ever do, you should definitely have children it’s amazing. Then the second I got pregnant, the same women were like “did I tell you about when I gave birth my vagina tore straight through to my asshole”
No. You didn’t, but thanks

I also hated when women would tell me ‘oh sleep now while you can you’ll never sleep again once the baby is here’ I know every baby is different and the first few weeks yea I barely got any sleep but my baby has slept fine from about 9 weeks I’ve getting 6/7 hrs sleep a night before she wakes for another bottle

 

[littlepup]

Nothing fucks me off more than other mums smugly & gleefully saying ‘just you wait….’ Like they’re revelling in my naivety. None of the ‘just you waits’ have happened yet and while I fully understand there will be hard times, let me enjoy my ‘easy’ baby without constantly waiting and watching for some terrible next stage. It’s honestly like a competition over who has it the worst.

Regarding family not really being interested… my cousin is a crypto millionaire. In the recent high they cashed out £10m, got 2 properties and two cars at £150k each. They didn’t bother to visit to meet the baby or even send flowers but managed bring the new car round to show it off. When I Wasn’t interested I was accused of being jealous. I honestly DGAF, I’m really happy for them, I love that they are successful, but send some bleeping flowers at least!!

 

[HoneyBee29]

So i may not word this correctly and I really don’t want to offend anyone so apologies if it comes across as uncaring or Insensitive

But does anyone else think its like a taboo subject to say you are enjoying the baby stage and you have a great chilled baby and it’s actually not that hard for you?

I know i’m VERY lucky that my baby seems very good and chilled (i know from experience that it won’t always be like this) but i am currently loving this stage with my baby

I feel i can’t say this out loud though as you always get the what about isms from others who are struggling and I know it can be hard, i’ve been there and i’m not diminishing anyone else’s experience, i’m just talking about my own

Recently seens husbands friends and their wives who have had babies and they asked me how i’m getting on and I said yeh really good atm and got some dodgey looks cause i wasn’t at breaking point

Then one of the girls that night put a story on instagram about how hard motherhood is and people need to be more sensitive to others and what they are going through in their journey

I literally said its going really well ATM but it was tough at first cause of reflux issues and lack of sleep is hard but also used to that as eldest has constant sleep regressions, but apparently because im finding it easy atm, i was the enemy.

Yes! Things where rough for us from 3 weeks to 8 weeks with reflux but she settled a lot around 9 weeks and started to sleep 6/7 hrs at night, she’s a really easy going baby as long as she’s fed she’s not bothered by anything really but it’s almost as if you have to have something negative to say about or have to be struggling