New baby and post birth advice #56

[Pontiac_Bandit]

@fudgebox @Nosysamsie @CallMeHollywood
Thanks. We’re staying in my mothers so I’ll get the tablets.. It’s not a huge think to have to take if needs be but already a long list..

We use the tablets anyway, but when we went abroad we made a makeshift cold water steriliser fairly easily (big pan with lid and something to keep the bottles from rising above the water line) but I also took some microwave steriliser bags as a backup just in case - we were given some but I think you can get them fairly cheaply and each bag in pack of 5 usually lasts 20 sterilisations so that could be an option as well as taking tablets - both of which are easy to pack

 

[opintionatedperson]

Just giving myself a tap on thr back for successfully bringing away my 4 week old for two nights for a family wedding which I was part of the wedding party.. Thankfully everyone understood my no hold rule and I felt like a superstar even attending it. After a questionable first night, he was brilliant for the actual day and we're just having cuddles during one of his feeds.

 

[Gilman93]

Just giving myself a tap on thr back for successfully bringing away my 4 week old for two nights for a family wedding which I was part of the wedding party.. Thankfully everyone understood my no hold rule and I felt like a superstar even attending it. After a questionable first night, he was brilliant for the actual day and we're just having cuddles during one of his feeds.

That's brilliant! Pat on the back from me too Bet it's been a real confidence boost, so glad you've had a good time!

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Despite Wood’s 3am wiggle party, I managed 7 hours sleep, which is great because I have to deal with my hole of a brother in law today

 

[Nosysamsie]

Anyone any ideas on how I can get the KW to interact with his child?
He just doesn't talk or sing to her at all. I've just sent him to do babies lunch and he basically dumped her in her highchair, made her lunch and sat on his phone. He never talked to her and when I mentioned it he said "well it's not like she's going to talk back".

I get it's hard but she's a 10 month old baby, she is learning to speak even if she isn't actually speaking yet. She needs conversation and stimulation which he just doesn't get.

It's really upsetting me because I feel like our daughters developmental upbringing is all on my shoulders & because he is involved around other folk they give him all the credit.

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

Anyone any ideas on how I can get the KW to interact with his child?
He just doesn't talk or sing to her at all. I've just sent him to do babies lunch and he basically dumped her in her highchair, made her lunch and sat on his phone. He never talked to her and when I mentioned it he said "well it's not like she's going to talk back".

I get it's hard but she's a 10 month old baby, she is learning to speak even if she isn't actually speaking yet. She needs conversation and stimulation which he just doesn't get.

It's really upsetting me because I feel like our daughters developmental upbringing is all on my shoulders & because he is involved around other folk they give him all the credit.

That's so sad, I'm so sorry no advice, I just really feel for you and baby

 

[Nosysamsie]

That's so sad, I'm so sorry no advice, I just really feel for you and baby

He realised how upset and angry it made me & through the day has been better. But tbh it was that or he didn't get to enjoy his football.

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

He realised how upset and angry it made me & through the day has been better. But tbh it was that or he didn't get to enjoy his football.

I hope he twigs soon that interacting with her is for her benefit, not yours, and that it's a joy and a privilege to chat to them and to see their little reactions - well done for everything you do to help her learn about communication, and I hope it stops all falling to you soon

 

[WeHadFunRight]

He realised how upset and angry it made me & through the day has been better. But tbh it was that or he didn't get to enjoy his football.

this is very childish but can you make him jealous of another dad being good with baby? Like if you see a friend and their partner you can say oh Lee was amazing with baby, you should have seen how much fun they had and she was giggling away, he even *insert thing you want him to do with her*
And let the green eye monster chew on that.

 

[themuffinwoman]

this is very childish but can you make him jealous of another dad being good with baby? Like if you see a friend and their partner you can say oh Lee was amazing with baby, you should have seen how much fun they had and she was giggling away, he even *insert thing you want him to do with her*
And let the green eye monster chew on that.

This is the answer I am here for.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

this is very childish but can you make him jealous of another dad being good with baby? Like if you see a friend and their partner you can say oh Lee was amazing with baby, you should have seen how much fun they had and she was giggling away, he even *insert thing you want him to do with her*
And let the green eye monster chew on that.

I do this with my husband I also use you ladies and your sometimes rotten partners to tell him, “oh so and so’s husband has been awful today, I’m so glad you’re not like that”, and IT WORKS!

 

[Onepotatotwopotato]

Please could someone explain what "KW" is? Been wondering for weeks lol

 

[On A Roll]

Please could someone explain what "KW" is? Been wondering for weeks lol

knob waffle im pretty sure! I think it originated on an earlier thread and now that’s what everyone calls their partner when they’re being a dick someone correct me if I’m wrong

 

[easyliketuesdayafternoon]

Anyone any ideas on how I can get the KW to interact with his child?
He just doesn't talk or sing to her at all. I've just sent him to do babies lunch and he basically dumped her in her highchair, made her lunch and sat on his phone. He never talked to her and when I mentioned it he said "well it's not like she's going to talk back".

I get it's hard but she's a 10 month old baby, she is learning to speak even if she isn't actually speaking yet. She needs conversation and stimulation which he just doesn't get.

It's really upsetting me because I feel like our daughters developmental upbringing is all on my shoulders & because he is involved around other folk they give him all the credit.

Not exactly the same but I was worried my OH wasn't interacting with baby tuesday - not actively ignoring him but just not making an effort. So I sat him down and laid it out that it wasn't me who was solely responsible and I was disappointed that he would rather be on his phone than talking to his baby. I also gave him very clear examples / suggestions - so I'd say that I sing to the baby during the day or make up little stories but if he feels like a knob doing that then we have numerous books so he could just read to baby instead. Or he could just narrate what he's doing. Made it clear that I'm not expecting him to be the next Wordsworth but talking to the baby is the bare minimum.

It really worked and now he won't shut up talking to him which is perfect!

 

[Nosysamsie]

Thanks for all your suggestions. I've sat and spoke to him and he's been really proactive since. He played and sang with her whilst doing bath time & it was lovely to witness.
He's not a crap dad, but he needs so much direction it's difficult

 

[opintionatedperson]

Anyone have experience with projectile vomiting? Baby has done it twice within 24 hours, he's feeding ok otherwise maybe a little shorter than usual but I'm not sure if it's concerning. A lot of milk came out as he was feeding

 

[Nosysamsie]

Anyone have experience with projectile vomiting? Baby has done it twice within 24 hours, he's feeding ok otherwise maybe a little shorter than usual but I'm not sure if it's concerning. A lot of milk came out as he was feeding

It's so awful when this happens isn't it!
My little one had a stomach bug when she was about 3 months old. She projectile vomitted multiple times. We were told that as long as they have wet nappies and they were taking over half their usual feed then we could continue to monitor at home, but to get her seen for any concerns.
Fingers crossed it passes soon!

 

[CallMeHollywood]

We’re back to waking up at nighttime and it’s killing me. Any tips? I can’t get anymore milk into him during the day.

 

[hazmaz]

We’re back to waking up at nighttime and it’s killing me. Any tips? I can’t get anymore milk into him during the day.

Us too. She’s slept really well up until 5mo, and now we are waking at 3:30/4 for a full bottle. I’ve tried all sorts but think I’ve just come to the realisation now that she is a baby, is generally hungry and will probably do this, as frustrating as it is for me who has been spoilt by sleep effectively.

 

[lorballs]

My 13month old has been waking at 4am every morning and it’s just bleeping up the whole day she’s ready for bed when we should be leaving for work, I’m exhausted I can’t remember when I had a full nights sleep for context she goes to bed at 9pm and was sleeping through to about 3 weeks ago but now from 1 am she’s rolling about the cot if I can get the dummy in she can stay down a while longer but she can be up anytime from then rolling about gurning I’m getting a couple of hrs if I’m lucky then it’s up and down and I struggle to get back to sleep. It’s making me so angry I’m starting to loose my tit