New baby and post birth advice #56

[fairylights2000]

New thread for a new week! No title as I couldn't see any suggestions.
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How long do people spend at meal times with their babies?

I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. It can take an hour sometimes and he just doesn’t eat anywhere near as much as those ‘what my baby ate in a day’ tiktoks.. shouldn’t compare but 6months in and don’t feel like we’ve made massive improvements?



It’s just all a guessing game sometimes. This morning I put his breakfast on a plate but he just wasn’t eating it. Wanted to play with it, try flip the plate. Mash the food. I take away the plate and put a few individual bits out and he then eats fine for a bit. But that doesn’t always work? Sometimes a plate is fine. spoon food he keeps going through phases of it’s all he wants/then rejecting for days… I just want him to eat



maybe this is all normal. I just find it so bloody hard some days !
!

My nephew could take 1-1.5 hours to eat a meal at one point! Baby L usually takes 30-45 minutes, it's quicker if we feed him but I really want him to feed himself and Mr L gets impatient.

He is also going through a phase of wanting to inspect the underside of the bowl while it's still got food in it I have no advice I'm afraid just solidarity. The only thing I can guarantee is that he will want whatever I'm eating.

 

[secretgirll]

Does anyone have any ideas on good presents for a baby’s first birthday? So far all I can think of is a scatter bug balance bike and a busy book. Thanks in advance

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

Definitely get some sort of carrier - I didn't get on with the fabric wrap I had but I've since bought a more structured carrier (the BabyBjorn Harmony) and it's been a bit of a game changer. It might be worth looking on Vinted for a bargain to try out before making a big purchase.

I also have a bouncer/rocker chair which baby tuesday will quite happily sit in for a while.

@easyliketuesdayafternoon

thanks for the tip. Found an ergo baby aura on Vinted I think I’ll try and see if the wrap works for us. Definitely want a proper carrier to be out for walks with husband too. But feel a wrap might be more soft and comfortable for day to day in the house..

We have a Nuna Leaf Curv seat for her atm but that’s hard to move around the house much on my own - heavy! Plus we have a dog so wouldn’t want to leave her on the floor too much without my eye on her all the time. Although the dog to date has shown 0 interest in her apart from the odd sniff.
We have been looking at the Tripp Trapp with the newborn attachment so that would be handy when I’m cleaning to sit her up high in my eye line.

 

[anything at all]

New thread for a new week! No title as I couldn't see any suggestions.
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My nephew could take 1-1.5 hours to eat a meal at one point! Baby L usually takes 30-45 minutes, it's quicker if we feed him but I really want him to feed himself and Mr L gets impatient.

He is also going through a phase of wanting to inspect the underside of the bowl while it's still got food in it I have no advice I'm afraid just solidarity. The only thing I can guarantee is that he will want whatever I'm eating.

thank you I feel like we’re just making so many different things for him all the time just to get him to eat something.. it’s never just a quick meal

Does anyone have any ideas on good presents for a baby’s first birthday? So far all I can think of is a scatter bug balance bike and a busy book. Thanks in advance

our baby’s first birthday was last weekend and tbh being so close to Christmas he didn’t really need anything? We only really got a few bits - some books, puzzles (still too young for ), mega blocks - he has no idea what to do with them but he likes carrying a block or 2 around the room sometimes lol
we did get him a wooden play cube thing for Christmas that he’s enjoying a bit more now

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Does anyone have any ideas on good presents for a baby’s first birthday? So far all I can think of is a scatter bug balance bike and a busy book. Thanks in advance

I’ve asked for wooden building blocks because my eldest loved them when she was a baby, at the current stage it’s much more about knocking them down but eventually building does become fun and they don’t need the motor skills to fit them together in the same way as mega blocks or duplo. Another thing we’ve got her is one of those little wooden helter skelter car slides, she can do it herself and was absolutely captivated by a friends. Bath toys are always good, anything that has a “process” to it as well - like a coin minder or shape sorter tends to go down well. My mum bought my eldest a ball pit tent and she didn’t go in it until she was about 18 months just sat outside it.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

We're struggling for 1st birthday ideas too. No matter how many times I say "he's got enough thank you" and "he got loads of toys at Christmas, he doesn't need anything else" I've still got several people texting me asking what to buy him. I tried directing people towards Premium Bonds/cash for his savings account but a lot of my relatives are saying they want him to have something tangible. I tried asking for keepsake kind of things but that got ignored for Christmas so I don't think it'll be taken into account for his birthday either.

 

[fairylights2000]

Does anyone have any ideas on good presents for a baby’s first birthday? So far all I can think of is a scatter bug balance bike and a busy book. Thanks in advance

We asked for books as baby L's birthday is mid Jan and we'd only just finished opening the Xmas toys! Baby L loves the acorn wood books, I read Fox's Socks 4 times in a row one day.

Baby L loves stacking - blocks and cups are a big favourite. Lidl had some baby stuff in recently and I got him a little set of 'sensory' blocks because he was at nursery and I missed him

It was a splurge but we also got him a play couch which won't arrive until March probably, I'm desperate for it to arrive so we have somewhere comfortable to sit in his bedroom!

We're struggling for 1st birthday ideas too. No matter how many times I say "he's got enough thank you" and "he got loads of toys at Christmas, he doesn't need anything else" I've still got several people texting me asking what to buy him. I tried directing people towards Premium Bonds/cash for his savings account but a lot of my relatives are saying they want him to have something tangible. I tried asking for keepsake kind of things but that got ignored for Christmas so I don't think it'll be taken into account for his birthday either.

If they're dead set on stuff, can you steer them towards books with a little note in the front - to miniWC on your 1st birthday from Relative? Or any decor/prints for his room?

My FIL loves going overboard for Christmas, MIL reined him in a bit while it was just adult kids but now there are 2 grandsons the giant sacks of presents have returned

 

[loveanatter]

Does anyone have any ideas on good presents for a baby’s first birthday? So far all I can think of is a scatter bug balance bike and a busy book. Thanks in advance

We got a ball pit and a cute wooden activity table and a few other bits.
Favourite toys are the ones he can hit with a hammer or a whale toy with balls, and when you press it the ball shoots out and then he crawls after it and does it again. That one actually keeps him entertained for ages!!

 

[Burrito88]

@freddofrog
Please ask your GP or midwife to check your wound - you’re very susceptible to infections and sepsis with and may need antibiotics or a new dressing.
New babies are very fussy, they’re still getting used to the world and remember they are learning how to poop and fart for themselves could baby have a bit of wind? Try bicycle kicks and extra winding to get those burps and farts out.
so much respect for you doing this by yourself - please ask friends/family for help even if it’s just watching baby while you shower, getting some shopping or doing a wash for you!

 

[themuffinwoman]

Walking the dogs so general brain dump coming

I’m actually getting her a Toniebox for her birthday/my parents will. She loves interactive things and songs etc so whilst she may be a bit young atm, I’m hoping it’ll be something she can use and love for a while. Also people can buy the figurines for it instead of just getting new things. I also spied these multifunctional chair things in Smyths, they turn into walkers or chairs and have buttons on which h look quite cool. She’s only 10 months atm but I think by the time she’s 1 she might be ready/nearly.

Got her settling in sessions booked for the end of the month for someone who was asking earlier, hers are an hour with me there, 1.5 hours over lunch without me, then 2 and 2.5 hours at different times of the day (different days) without me. Trying super hard to not get upset but it’s hard, feel like she’s still an extension of me. Any tips on not crying greatly appreciated. I sob when I take my dogs to daycare (one makes it difficult and runs back to the car as if to be like nope, let’s go mama) so god knows how I would be if she got upset.

I also appear to be some sort of giant sap and am vaguely concerned about crying just all the time Inc at work. My friend made a gorgeous decoration for MM’s room which had her exact time of birth on and I looked at her and said “omg I may cry”, and the old muffin woman would not have, but there I was, crying my eyes out whilst my friend stared at me awkwardly

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Walking the dogs so general brain dump coming

I’m actually getting her a Toniebox for her birthday/my parents will. She loves interactive things and songs etc so whilst she may be a bit young atm, I’m hoping it’ll be something she can use and love for a while. Also people can buy the figurines for it instead of just getting new things. I also spied these multifunctional chair things in Smyths, they turn into walkers or chairs and have buttons on which h look quite cool. She’s only 10 months atm but I think by the time she’s 1 she might be ready/nearly.

Got her settling in sessions booked for the end of the month for someone who was asking earlier, hers are an hour with me there, 1.5 hours over lunch without me, then 2 and 2.5 hours at different times of the day (different days) without me. Trying super hard to not get upset but it’s hard, feel like she’s still an extension of me. Any tips on not crying greatly appreciated. I sob when I take my dogs to daycare (one makes it difficult and runs back to the car as if to be like nope, let’s go mama) so god knows how I would be if she got upset.

I also appear to be some sort of giant sap and am vaguely concerned about crying just all the time Inc at work. My friend made a gorgeous decoration for MM’s room which had her exact time of birth on and I looked at her and said “omg I may cry”, and the old muffin woman would not have, but there I was, crying my eyes out whilst my friend stared at me awkwardly

Well at work I would say don’t get sad get angry and just convert any chance of tears into fury. That way you may find people leave you alone and you get tit done.
xxx

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Just had an invoice from the nursery - not a great first impression as LO isn't actually starting until the 1st March and they're trying to charge us from the 28th January...

 

[Nosysamsie]

We're struggling for 1st birthday ideas too. No matter how many times I say "he's got enough thank you" and "he got loads of toys at Christmas, he doesn't need anything else" I've still got several people texting me asking what to buy him. I tried directing people towards Premium Bonds/cash for his savings account but a lot of my relatives are saying they want him to have something tangible. I tried asking for keepsake kind of things but that got ignored for Christmas so I don't think it'll be taken into account for his birthday either.

I'm already being asked & I've said money we can put towards experiences. We want to get zoo passes, farm passes, etc so we can use them throughout the year. It's being looked at as stupid, but we love the zoo & the farm so we want to take little one plenty, and an annual pass is definitely the way forward with that

 

[fairylights2000]

I'm looking back at baby L's monthly photos and it looks like he's been blown up with a bike pump between months 2 and 3, the difference is incredible!

Walking the dogs so general brain dump coming

I’m actually getting her a Toniebox for her birthday/my parents will. She loves interactive things and songs etc so whilst she may be a bit young atm, I’m hoping it’ll be something she can use and love for a while. Also people can buy the figurines for it instead of just getting new things. I also spied these multifunctional chair things in Smyths, they turn into walkers or chairs and have buttons on which h look quite cool. She’s only 10 months atm but I think by the time she’s 1 she might be ready/nearly.

Got her settling in sessions booked for the end of the month for someone who was asking earlier, hers are an hour with me there, 1.5 hours over lunch without me, then 2 and 2.5 hours at different times of the day (different days) without me. Trying super hard to not get upset but it’s hard, feel like she’s still an extension of me. Any tips on not crying greatly appreciated. I sob when I take my dogs to daycare (one makes it difficult and runs back to the car as if to be like nope, let’s go mama) so god knows how I would be if she got upset.

I also appear to be some sort of giant sap and am vaguely concerned about crying just all the time Inc at work. My friend made a gorgeous decoration for MM’s room which had her exact time of birth on and I looked at her and said “omg I may cry”, and the old muffin woman would not have, but there I was, crying my eyes out whilst my friend stared at me awkwardly

No tips on not crying but I mentally set aside at least 30 minutes for crying every day of his first week. Everyone's different and for me giving myself permission to miss him ended up with me not being as much of a weeping mess as I expected. The staff at baby L's nursery were lovely and talked about leaving their own babies. They and even had a box of tissues on hand in reception probably for snotty toddler noses but still useful for crying parents.

I start work on Monday and I'm convinced I'll burst into tears the first time anyone asks me about baby L, just wailing I MISS HIM at my team 90% of who I don't know

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Don’t worry ladies, your babies are going to pick up every communicable disease possible each week and be right back in your arms for 48 hours at least for the first 8 weeks anyway, which in turn does mean you have a longer settling in period after all. Swings and roundabouts innit.

 

[shhh1712]

My friend asked for Clark’s vouchers for 1st bday gifts so she could choose shoes she wanted, she had twins too so double the expense!
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Walking the dogs so general brain dump coming

I’m actually getting her a Toniebox for her birthday/my parents will. She loves interactive things and songs etc so whilst she may be a bit young atm, I’m hoping it’ll be something she can use and love for a while. Also people can buy the figurines for it instead of just getting new things. I also spied these multifunctional chair things in Smyths, they turn into walkers or chairs and have buttons on which h look quite cool. She’s only 10 months atm but I think by the time she’s 1 she might be ready/nearly.

Got her settling in sessions booked for the end of the month for someone who was asking earlier, hers are an hour with me there, 1.5 hours over lunch without me, then 2 and 2.5 hours at different times of the day (different days) without me. Trying super hard to not get upset but it’s hard, feel like she’s still an extension of me. Any tips on not crying greatly appreciated. I sob when I take my dogs to daycare (one makes it difficult and runs back to the car as if to be like nope, let’s go mama) so god knows how I would be if she got upset.

I also appear to be some sort of giant sap and am vaguely concerned about crying just all the time Inc at work. My friend made a gorgeous decoration for MM’s room which had her exact time of birth on and I looked at her and said “omg I may cry”, and the old muffin woman would not have, but there I was, crying my eyes out whilst my friend stared at me awkwardly

It was me asking! I’ve just emailed a couple of dates to book in the settling in sessions, I wish he didn’t have to go. How many days will your little one be going? Mine will be going 2 full days, it’s not really what I wanted (would prefer half days) but loads round here won’t do half days, and now they’re all changing to a minimum of 3 days because of the new funding!

 

[fudgebox]

I’ve clicked 3-6 months even though he’s 3 days off being actually 3 months but has started wearing 3-6 clothes 🥲 where’s me tiny 5lb14 babe gone!!!

 

[loveanatter]

Don’t worry ladies, your babies are going to pick up every communicable disease possible each week and be right back in your arms for 48 hours at least for the first 8 weeks anyway, which in turn does mean you have a longer settling in period after all. Swings and roundabouts innit.

This has tickled me
With my first I went back for 8 weeks, didn’t manage an entire week of work in that time. Had a melt down, tried to resign and was offered a sabbatical and another 6 months off work for me!

 

[Nosysamsie]

Walking the dogs so general brain dump coming

I’m actually getting her a Toniebox for her birthday/my parents will. She loves interactive things and songs etc so whilst she may be a bit young atm, I’m hoping it’ll be something she can use and love for a while. Also people can buy the figurines for it instead of just getting new things. I also spied these multifunctional chair things in Smyths, they turn into walkers or chairs and have buttons on which h look quite cool. She’s only 10 months atm but I think by the time she’s 1 she might be ready/nearly.

Got her settling in sessions booked for the end of the month for someone who was asking earlier, hers are an hour with me there, 1.5 hours over lunch without me, then 2 and 2.5 hours at different times of the day (different days) without me. Trying super hard to not get upset but it’s hard, feel like she’s still an extension of me. Any tips on not crying greatly appreciated. I sob when I take my dogs to daycare (one makes it difficult and runs back to the car as if to be like nope, let’s go mama) so god knows how I would be if she got upset.

I also appear to be some sort of giant sap and am vaguely concerned about crying just all the time Inc at work. My friend made a gorgeous decoration for MM’s room which had her exact time of birth on and I looked at her and said “omg I may cry”, and the old muffin woman would not have, but there I was, crying my eyes out whilst my friend stared at me awkwardly

We love our tonie box here. The creative tonie that it comes with is perfect for us. I recorded a little message that got uploaded to it & I recorded me reading a story so when I'm at work little one gets her bedtime story read by me whilst my hubby gets the cuddles.
As for crying. I dreaded it. I cried all the journey to work, I stood outside work composing myself. I had a moment when my manager asked how things were and then when I started work it was like a switch & I was focused on that, until a patient remembered me being pregnant last time they saw me and asked about my little girl.


Our settling in sessions for those that asked were 1 hour on day one. 2 hours on day 2 and 3 on day three. She had a snack at all sessions and the last she's stayed for lunch. I didn't stay for any, but I was allowed to take her into the nursery room & pick her up from the nursery room.

 

[themuffinwoman]

My friend asked for Clark’s vouchers for 1st bday gifts so she could choose shoes she wanted, she had twins too so double the expense!
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It was me asking! I’ve just emailed a couple of dates to book in the settling in sessions, I wish he didn’t have to go. How many days will your little one be going? Mine will be going 2 full days, it’s not really what I wanted (would prefer half days) but loads round here won’t do half days, and now they’re all changing to a minimum of 3 days because of the new funding!

She’s going one day a week from 12th March then two days from September when my days increase, although, I’m sort of hoping to only do 3 days a week instead of 4 if I can swing it. Waiting for it to be confirmed but I’m condensing 5 into 4, and would like to condense 4 into 3 if finances allow. Yeah it was a struggle here to find places that do one day a week, some said three even when I was checking last year and one said it must be three including a Monday and a Friday! I don’t want her to go either she’ll be with my parents the other 1-2 days, who she loves and love her so it’ll be fine, and I keep telling myself nursery will be so great for her, it’s just hard isn’t it. How many days a week will you be working? Sending you love as I’m finding it super hard to come to terms with xx

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Thanks everyone, especially like turning my crying into anger. Work piss me off so much it shouldn’t be hard, and with nursery I’ll assign myself some sobbing in the car time. She’s got 2 weeks of nursery before I start work so I might keep myself busy by sorting the house out and taking the dogs on a long walk.
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We love our tonie box here. The creative tonie that it comes with is perfect for us. I recorded a little message that got uploaded to it & I recorded me reading a story so when I'm at work little one gets her bedtime story read by me whilst my hubby gets the cuddles.
As for crying. I dreaded it. I cried all the journey to work, I stood outside work composing myself. I had a moment when my manager asked how things were and then when I started work it was like a switch & I was focused on that, until a patient remembered me being pregnant last time they saw me and asked about my little girl.


Our settling in sessions for those that asked were 1 hour on day one. 2 hours on day 2 and 3 on day three. She had a snack at all sessions and the last she's stayed for lunch. I didn't stay for any, but I was allowed to take her into the nursery room & pick her up from the nursery room.

That’s such a lovely idea- I was a bit worried she’s too young for it but she’s not too young to actually listen to them I guess.
I work from home so I imagine it’ll be worst sitting in the house, if I’m out and about at meetings it will actually be easier as I’ll be distracted. I’m even thinking of going to a shared workspace on my wfh days just so I’m not moping/presumably taking my laptop into her room and sitting with her stuffed toys.

Do you find now you’ve been back a few weeks it’s got better?