New baby and post birth advice #56

[themuffinwoman]

@WeepingCassandra ohhh good shout marketplace!! He loves the little ride on cars at clubs… so feel he might get more use outta that then a trike for now in the garden.

Meant to reply, not me but my friend got her LO a trike thing which has a large pole at the back (not explaining this well at all ) so when they’re out walking they can push her. They actually got it for her before she was one, I think she initially just sat on it and they pushed her but now she’s nearly 18 months she puts her feet on the pedals but is still pushed, maybe something like that which he could use for a while?

 

[kayefeluu20]

My almost 3 week old has given me a false sense of security, we were getting the hang of things and today boom, he wants feeds little and often and don't want to be put down. Currently holding him in my arms listening to my hubby snore, it's going to be a long night. Everytime I put him down he cries

I was there very recently (she's 10 weeks tomorrow) and it does end. If you're BF, make sure you have a good nipple balm. Listening to my husband snore while I'm wide awake breastfeeding drives me mad I'd suggest investing in a fabric wrap but it's not much use for nighttime when you also need sleep. No advice really, just solidarity

 

[storminaDcup]

My almost 3 week old has given me a false sense of security, we were getting the hang of things and today boom, he wants feeds little and often and don't want to be put down. Currently holding him in my arms listening to my hubby snore, it's going to be a long night. Everytime I put him down he cries

Am in the trenches with you. Cluster feeding is a witch. Can you and your hub take turns looking after him so you can get a longer stretch of sleep? That’s what I’m doing. I get 3-4 uninterrupted every night plus whatever baby let’s me get in between the night feeds

 

[Nosysamsie]

Probably a ridiculous question but I'm filling in the questionnaire for the HV & the question about words is throwing me.
My baba has said mama, dada & yaya loads when I was on maternity leave, but since I've gone back to work I feel like I hear it less. Should I answer that she is saying words?
Also should I worry she doesn't seem to speak as much anymore?

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

My almost 3 week old has given me a false sense of security, we were getting the hang of things and today boom, he wants feeds little and often and don't want to be put down. Currently holding him in my arms listening to my hubby snore, it's going to be a long night. Everytime I put him down he cries

I think 3 weeks is a major growth spurt and cluster feed time. Hang in there, it does pass. I'd recommend Lansinoh for your nipples, massive water bottle, snacks, and the TV remote close to hand. Sneak in extra naps when you can, leave any housework that's not essential or get your partner to take on more. And if visitors aren't there to be helpful, tell them to bugger off.
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Probably a ridiculous question but I'm filling in the questionnaire for the HV & the question about words is throwing me.
My baba has said mama, dada & yaya loads when I was on maternity leave, but since I've gone back to work I feel like I hear it less. Should I answer that she is saying words?
Also should I worry she doesn't seem to speak as much anymore?

I has similar thoughts about speaking less, but then I decided it was probably just that I was becoming used to it because it was less of a novelty to hear it, and I wasn't noticing it.

 

[opintionatedperson]

I think 3 weeks is a major growth spurt and cluster feed time. Hang in there, it does pass. I'd recommend Lansinoh for your nipples, massive water bottle, snacks, and the TV remote close to hand. Sneak in extra naps when you can, leave any housework that's not essential or get your partner to take on more. And if visitors aren't there to be helpful, tell them to bugger off.
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I has similar thoughts about speaking less, but then I decided it was probably just that I was becoming used to it because it was less of a novelty to hear it, and I wasn't noticing it.

Thanks for all the advice, he was actually not too bad last night just feeding loads but he was sleeping in between. I already got odd at my MIL for showing up this week I don't get why people think it's ok to show up unannounced and expect to be given tea and a snack. He's just a bit unsettled during the day which I'll take over the night im probably cursing myself now!!! We've a wedding next week with bubs so practicing to get out of the house for next few days as much as we can

 

[WotsitG1]

Meant to reply, not me but my friend got her LO a trike thing which has a large pole at the back (not explaining this well at all ) so when they’re out walking they can push her. They actually got it for her before she was one, I think she initially just sat on it and they pushed her but now she’s nearly 18 months she puts her feet on the pedals but is still pushed, maybe something like that which he could use for a while?

oh yeah think I know what you mean!! Hes also fallen in love with a ride on tractor today so another one to add to the list!!!


another question from me… those who didn’t go back to work… when did your babies go to nursery…. Wondering to pop him in a few mornings for socialisation.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

I'm starting to get really worried about how LO will go down for naps at nursery.

When he's down, if his teeth don't wake him up, he will nap for a good couple of hours (normally anywhere between 1.5 to 3 hours, depending on the day and time he goes down) but he only has one nap.

The nursery he's going to twice a week says they do the once a day nappers after lunch but he normally goes down around 10am - 11am. However today he's only just gone down at half 12 (not sure what it is about Thursdays - he does seem to struggle on a Thursday more than any other day, perhaps because we do an earlier gym class and he's very active during the class whereas when we're at home in the mornings he's having a chilled play with me or independently).

I didn't really think about it but he will only go for a nap if 1) he has a full bottle before you start trying to settle him and 2) you sit with him and rock him, can take 10 minutes if he's really tired or 45 minutes if he's not bothered. If you just put him down in the crib he stands up and starts babbling away to himself - never really starts crying but he doesn't get himself to sleep even if he's put down 'sleepy'. I can't see nursery doing that?! There's only two people in the baby room and I think they have 3 babies each so they wouldn't be able to take 45 minutes surely to just get one baby down?

Thanks for all the advice, he was actually not too bad last night just feeding loads but he was sleeping in between. I already got odd at my MIL for showing up this week I don't get why people think it's ok to show up unannounced and expect to be given tea and a snack. He's just a bit unsettled during the day which I'll take over the night im probably cursing myself now!!! We've a wedding next week with bubs so practicing to get out of the house for next few days as much as we can

Do you have a carrier? This was an absolute game changer for us when ours was that little. I personally found it a bit overwhelming from a sensory point of view but OH loved it and so did baby!

 

[Nosysamsie]

I'm starting to get really worried about how LO will go down for naps at nursery.

When he's down, if his teeth don't wake him up, he will nap for a good couple of hours (normally anywhere between 1.5 to 3 hours, depending on the day and time he goes down) but he only has one nap.

The nursery he's going to twice a week says they do the once a day nappers after lunch but he normally goes down around 10am - 11am. However today he's only just gone down at half 12 (not sure what it is about Thursdays - he does seem to struggle on a Thursday more than any other day, perhaps because we do an earlier gym class and he's very active during the class whereas when we're at home in the mornings he's having a chilled play with me or independently).

I didn't really think about it but he will only go for a nap if 1) he has a full bottle before you start trying to settle him and 2) you sit with him and rock him, can take 10 minutes if he's really tired or 45 minutes if he's not bothered. If you just put him down in the crib he stands up and starts babbling away to himself - never really starts crying but he doesn't get himself to sleep even if he's put down 'sleepy'. I can't see nursery doing that?! There's only two people in the baby room and I think they have 3 babies each so they wouldn't be able to take 45 minutes surely to just get one baby down?

I really worried about this as the nursery mine is at tend to do one nap a day. However they've been great. The staff take my little one to one side when she needs it & give her a nap and hold her if she needs it.
Equally her naps have been tit really tit at nursery because of the other children and their noise and the fact I have a fomo baby.

The nursery staff have ways and means and eventually they nap despite chaos (my sisters said this to me & she's works in a nursery).

 

[opintionatedperson]

Do you have a carrier? This was an absolute game changer for us when ours was that little. I personally found it a bit overwhelming from a sensory point of view but OH loved it and so did baby!

The carrier I have is for 7lb + and he's only 6lbs. I could order a sling from amazon though

 

[Ro98]

I'm starting to get really worried about how LO will go down for naps at nursery.

When he's down, if his teeth don't wake him up, he will nap for a good couple of hours (normally anywhere between 1.5 to 3 hours, depending on the day and time he goes down) but he only has one nap.

The nursery he's going to twice a week says they do the once a day nappers after lunch but he normally goes down around 10am - 11am. However today he's only just gone down at half 12 (not sure what it is about Thursdays - he does seem to struggle on a Thursday more than any other day, perhaps because we do an earlier gym class and he's very active during the class whereas when we're at home in the mornings he's having a chilled play with me or independently).

I didn't really think about it but he will only go for a nap if 1) he has a full bottle before you start trying to settle him and 2) you sit with him and rock him, can take 10 minutes if he's really tired or 45 minutes if he's not bothered. If you just put him down in the crib he stands up and starts babbling away to himself - never really starts crying but he doesn't get himself to sleep even if he's put down 'sleepy'. I can't see nursery doing that?! There's only two people in the baby room and I think they have 3 babies each so they wouldn't be able to take 45 minutes surely to just get one baby down?


Do you have a carrier? This was an absolute game changer for us when ours was that little. I personally found it a bit overwhelming from a sensory point of view but OH loved it and so did baby!

As someone who worked in a baby room for 6yrs their key worker will prioritise the new babies routine (not sure if prioritise is the right word- but other babies there will be fine & secure in their routine) so the focus will be on your baby when they initially settle for key times like nap / meal / bottle.
Honestly it took me up to 30/40mins with some babies, if they need rocking then that’s what they should do. We rocked, sang, stood up jigging babies or put them down awake (totally dependent on the baby).
To calm your concerns a little you could contact them and ask, there isn’t a silly question and don’t feel like you’re being over the top. They’ve heard everything a million times and it’s their job to reassure you.
There were only ever 2 of us in the ‘sleep room’ at a time and managed to get 9 babies to sleep. Nurseries are magic
Also if he goes down at a different time after a busy gym class it will probably be the same at nursery, they slot into ‘nursery life’ so quickly!

Eta* babies are honestly like little sheep in the nicest way possible They all end up doing similar things / similar routine if age appropriate and it might take a few weeks (tbh most older than 9months didn’t, they were very easy) but they will get there!

 

[loveanatter]

oh yeah think I know what you mean!! Hes also fallen in love with a ride on tractor today so another one to add to the list!!!


another question from me… those who didn’t go back to work… when did your babies go to nursery…. Wondering to pop him in a few mornings for socialisation.

I haven’t gone back this time and I’m putting him in 2 days a week from July, he’ll be 17 months.
It was 2 full days or 3 mornings minimum but I can’t be doing with picking up at lunchtime when he’ll be on one lunchtime nap then! X

 

[WeepingCassandra]

As someone who worked in a baby room for 6yrs their key worker will prioritise the new babies routine (not sure if prioritise is the right word- but other babies there will be fine & secure in their routine) so the focus will be on your baby when they initially settle for key times like nap / meal / bottle.
Honestly it took me up to 30/40mins with some babies, if they need rocking then that’s what they should do. We rocked, sang, stood up jigging babies or put them down awake (totally dependent on the baby).
To calm your concerns a little you could contact them and ask, there isn’t a silly question and don’t feel like you’re being over the top. They’ve heard everything a million times and it’s their job to reassure you.
There were only ever 2 of us in the ‘sleep room’ at a time and managed to get 9 babies to sleep. Nurseries are magic
Also if he goes down at a different time after a busy gym class it will probably be the same at nursery, they slot into ‘nursery life’ so quickly!

Eta* babies are honestly like little sheep in the nicest way possible They all end up doing similar things / similar routine if age appropriate and it might take a few weeks (tbh most older than 9months didn’t, they were very easy) but they will get there!

Thank you!

I don't know how you do it. It's my actual idea of hell. Give me a busy adult A+E on a Saturday afternoon, fine. 5 babies in one place - no!
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The carrier I have is for 7lb + and he's only 6lbs. I could order a sling from amazon though

Yes, I think the wrap fabric slings go much lower - though someone else might correct me. Might be worth it until he's a little bigger

 

[freddofrog]

when did you all leave your baby for a few hours for the first time? i cannot tell you how much a manicure and a root touch up would mean to me but baby frog is only 6 weeks (i’m also a single parent so dad won’t be helping) and my mum isn’t keen to take him yet as he’s ’too small’ apparently. watching him for an hour while i went to a hospital appointment was her limit it seems!

 

[CallMeHollywood]

when did you all leave your baby for a few hours for the first time? i cannot tell you how much a manicure and a root touch up would mean to me but baby frog is only 6 weeks (i’m also a single parent so dad won’t be helping) and my mum isn’t keen to take him yet as he’s ’too small’ apparently. watching him for an hour while i went to a hospital appointment was her limit it seems!

Can you take him with you? Not as relaxing, but a lot of salons allow children.

 

[freddofrog]

Can you take him with you? Not as relaxing, but a lot of salons allow children.

i could possibly in a nail salon but my nail lady works solo at home and said she is worried about the dust from the nails around him which has now worried me! hair salon is a big no as it just takes too long

 

[HannahF]

Sorry in advance - poo talk

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Before i go to my gp and be mislead or misdiagnosed. Looking for advice - first time mum here so clueless

My lil girl is now 4 months, on formula and showing signs if teething. Her poos have become explosive, green abit foamly like and stinks like metal.
One of the mums as baby class said be wary as gps auto diagnose as milk allergy when it could be normal or just a issue with the formula they are on

Has anyone else had this and turns out to be either normal or a milk allergy or formula issue.

Shes on kendamill, no problems feeding, loves her food and finishes bottle each time. She has had reflux since she was born, she was breastfeed at first but after a few weeks my milk stopped so reflux was with both.

 

[themuffinwoman]

when did you all leave your baby for a few hours for the first time? i cannot tell you how much a manicure and a root touch up would mean to me but baby frog is only 6 weeks (i’m also a single parent so dad won’t be helping) and my mum isn’t keen to take him yet as he’s ’too small’ apparently. watching him for an hour while i went to a hospital appointment was her limit it seems!

She was about 3 months when I left her for more than an hour, that was necessity as it was deemed she would ruin my sister’s wedding if I brought her I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her for that long tbh, for me it felt too soon, but I had left her for an hour or so with my husband from about 2 months I think. Have you got a friend you could trust?

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Nursery chat.. how ‘big’ a room would you consider reasonable? I know the numbers are dictated by OFSTED. So each child must have so much space within a room.. but I was shocked when the lady yesterday said the baby room holds 30 babies. Size wise there’s plenty of space, but it just sounds very… overwhelming? I don’t know if I’m putting too much thought into it. I know school class sizes are probably around that size, it just seems a lot to go from at home alone/only child to a room full of 30 other kids

 

[Tifastrife]

Nursery chat.. how ‘big’ a room would you consider reasonable? I know the numbers are dictated by OFSTED. So each child must have so much space within a room.. but I was shocked when the lady yesterday said the baby room holds 30 babies. Size wise there’s plenty of space, but it just sounds very… overwhelming? I don’t know if I’m putting too much thought into it. I know school class sizes are probably around that size, it just seems a lot to go from at home alone/only child to a room full of 30 other kids

The nursery I work in has generally always been around fifteen-twenty kids. I’ve been sent on supply to 30+ (and even a class of 60 once!) and I thought it was gonna be chaos. Tbh I didn’t notice a huge difference - half of the kids spent most of the day outside and the rest were spread out in all the different areas. I’m not sure if it would be really overwhelming for a little one though but I was surprised how calm it all was lol.