New baby and post birth advice #43 no title needed, no suggestions made

[Kaylarina]

We have done this for the eldest. We used the wine fridge in the kitchen island (obviously moved the wine first! It’s now in the cellar) and stocked it with snacks so she can help herself. It was meant to be a temporary measure when I had a tiny baby and was stuck breastfeeding so she can help herself, but actually I find it worked really well so we’ve kept it. We put a good variety in there, and you’d be surprised to know it’s rarely the sweet things that go first. She usually eats the manchego first and she’s recently got a thing for Kalamata olives. And she’s had a little box of those hotel chocolat circles that look like little puppies in there for a week that she’s just not reached for seems to give her a decent foundation like you say. All about balance

Oooh, the wine fridge, I've never thought about that! That would work perfectly. Manchego and olives - she eats better than me - although Elanna would be all about that Now to break it to the husband that his wine is about to be evicted....!

 

[LilyRose1234]

My kids are the same.
A lot of the time, they will choose fruit.
Or they have a snack drawer which isn't just chocolate ect. And they will choose the "healthier" stuff a lot of the time.
Because they don't see it as any different
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Can I ask what the advantages are?

I mean a 1 year old probably doesn’t need chocolate buttons or a really sugary yoghurt do they?

Equally if you’re only giving it in small amounts it probably won’t hurt, but I was always worried it would mean she prefers it to things like fruit and veg which are more nutrient dense. From all the replies on here I can very much see both sides I’m probably a bit skewed today given she was on hunger strike yesterday and only ate 2 mini milks then projectile vomited so I’m probably thinking/worrying about it more than I usually would!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I pick my battles.
If I want a half decent sleep, I will create a sugar rush to avoid a day of 2 naps & 30000 wake ups and starting my day at 3am because they've had too much sleep in the day.

Equally, if they've refused every single food I've offered them, I will offer them wotsits so they don't go hungry because I know they will eat it.
Toddlers are known to be fussy, its not that you create the fussiness, some days they just don't fancy decent food, hell I'm the same Who am I to judge if they don't want a pie?
Nor can I afford to make 3 different meals to go in the bin, we are a single income household with 5 mouths to feed in the middle of a cost of living crisis have your wotsits kid, mams skint

 

[WhatABore]

I mean a 1 year old probably doesn’t need chocolate buttons or a really sugary yoghurt do they?

Equally if you’re only giving it in small amounts it probably won’t hurt, but I was always worried it would mean she prefers it to things like fruit and veg which are more nutrient dense. From all the replies on here I can very much see both sides I’m probably a bit skewed today given she was on hunger strike yesterday and only ate 2 mini milks then projectile vomited so I’m probably thinking/worrying about it more than I usually would!

I don't see the issue with chocolate buttons either tbh.
Adults don't need them either, but we still eat them
@Megatron1298 just said above she restricted sugar until 2 and her child is obsessed with ice cream ect?

If you're going to act like they're superior and a "treat" then they're going to want them over fruit and veg.
If you include these things in their day to day lives, without restricting, it's no big deal.

 

[Definitelyme]

A decent, balanced diet has room for everything. I always tell my kids you wouldn’t be very healthy if you only ever ate apples (seen as a “healthy” food), same way you won’t be healthy if you only ever eat donuts (such a shame ).

We don’t offer our kids carrots every day, and we don’t offer them sweet foods every day either.

 

[Kaylarina]

A decent, balanced diet has room for everything. I always tell my kids you wouldn’t be very healthy if you only ever ate apples (seen as a “healthy” food), same way you won’t be healthy if you only ever eat donuts (such a shame ).

Now I want a donut.....

 

[WhatABore]

A decent, balanced diet has room for everything. I always tell my kids you wouldn’t be very healthy if you only ever ate apples (seen as a “healthy” food), same way you won’t be healthy if you only ever eat donuts (such a shame ).

We don’t offer our kids carrots every day, and we don’t offer them sweet foods every day either.

This is what we say too.
When they tell them at school that too much chocolate isn't good for you ect.
I always tell them, no, but too much fruit isn't good for you either!

 

[Definitelyme]

Now I want a donut.....

Just one?! I think donuts may be my favourite sweet food.

 

[Jellybean093]

Speaking of Birthdays. Is it completely frowned upon to not have a party of the 1st birthday?

1 of my friends did, and I found it so pointless. I would not do parties until they’re at school age, because they have no idea what’s going on

 

[Definitelyme]

This is what we say too.
When they tell them at school that too much chocolate isn't good for you ect.
I always tell them, no, but too much fruit isn't good for you either!

The old ideas of eating are still so scarily prevalent in today’s society aren’t they? Especially in schools - eat this first, here is a star for being good And eating it all up etc.
My MIL said to 7Me two nights ago “eat up your mash so you can have cake” he didn’t eat the mash (hates it) and did get the cake anyway …

 

[Kaylarina]

Just one?! I think donuts may be my favourite sweet food.

Actually me too. Although I'm' incredibly boring and just like plain ol' glazed. I'm considering ordering some. I can play it off as a pregnancy craving...right?

 

[LilyRose1234]

I don't see the issue with chocolate buttons either tbh.
Adults don't need them either, but we still eat them
@Megatron1298 just said above she restricted sugar until 2 and her child is obsessed with ice cream ect?

If you're going to act like they're superior and a "treat" then they're going to want them over fruit and veg.
If you include these things in their day to day lives, without restricting, it's no big deal.

Oh I very much try and just offer it all together, put her pudding and dinner on her tray at the same time etc. I don’t behave to her like it’s a “treat” I’m literally just thinking aloud about whether I should have delayed sugar so she doesn’t become obsessed, but then that if I’d delayed it she might also have become obsessed.

like I said, yesterday was a bad day for food so probably what has my brain confused. Guess we all just want to make sure we’re doing the right thing and some days question our parenting more than other days!

 

[Jellybean093]

I’ve just spent the evening favouriting party decorations on Etsy!

I always go mad with decorations. I like to spoil my kids with penis shaped balloons (I wish I was joking) and banners. Parties… meh 🫤
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I hate party bags tbh. They are full of plastic tat that ends up broken in a landfill. We don’t do parties and party bags, but the best ones that we have received have been a book and a bag of sweets (for older kids the works sell good quiz books)
Or something like a little bag of seeds for gardening together would be nice at this time of year. A little activity to do when you get home from the party.
But always sweets.

I gave out homemade cookies on (my now ) 7 yo party last year. I hate party bags. Took me all day to make them, but

 

[Kaylarina]

like I said, yesterday was a bad day for food so probably what has my brain confused. Guess we all just want to make sure we’re doing the right thing and some days question our parenting more than other days!

It's hard when they have a bad day eating. Elanna is usually a really good eater but there are days when I end up giving her toast for dinner and consider it a win if she eats half of it. The little buggers really put you through the wringer some times!

 

[Jellybean093]

Me and Mr Power decided we don't want to give the kids refined sugar until they are closer to age 2, no judgement whatsoever on those who do, it's just the way we're choosing to parent.
I'll probably make the actual cake quite small and then do some full sugar egg included cupcakes or brownies or something for everyone other than the birthday boy.

My mum never let me have chocolate and used to lock the crisps and fizzy drinks in her room. Guess who, the moment they starred affording tit food, became obsessed with tit foods and drinks

I know that’s what you’ve chosen, but

 

[Daisydunn15]

My mams already bought this kid about 5 easter eggs She'll be 9m at Easter, she won't be eating 5 easter eggs but chocolate is amazing and I want her to taste all sorts of food, so she'll get a bit.
I also love the little propeller arms and rocking she does when she tastes something really sweet

 

[Definitelyme]

Oh I very much try and just offer it all together, put her pudding and dinner on her tray at the same time etc. I don’t behave to her like it’s a “treat” I’m literally just thinking aloud about whether I should have delayed sugar so she doesn’t become obsessed, but then that if I’d delayed it she might also have become obsessed.

like I said, yesterday was a bad day for food so probably what has my brain confused. Guess we all just want to make sure we’re doing the right thing and some days question our parenting more than other days!

Try to remember one day won’t have too much effect, look at her overall diet through the week and you’ll be much more reassured And remember sugar or not, they will all eat dirt from the ground outside, so as long as we do our best with their food we have nothing to worry about x
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used to lick the crisps and fizzy drinks in her room.

I am dying

 

[Belle Amie]

Here’s me ordering a cake and sugar cookies for my sons first birthday
He’s been so difficult to encourage to eat that if having a muffin and custard encourages him I’ll serve it him everyday.

I don’t think sugar at an early age confuses them at all, he’s had normal chocolate mousse and he’s also demolished the one I made with avocado and bananas without an issue

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Well I think I might take a step back from here. I don't judge anyone else's parenting, yet I look back on here to find lots of people effectively telling me I'm going to cause issues and disordered eating.
As someone who grew up with disordered eating and very strict parents I am conscious to introduce these things but me and my partner also made some decisions, my eldest obviously had no idea about this stuff until 2, my youngest might get it slightly earlier as obviously he'll see his sister having it.

I'm all for having a joke on here but I just feel a bit piled on and it's not fun. None of us know exactly how our parenting is going to work out, we're all just going our best.

 

[Jellybean093]

I am dying

ARGH! Thought I edited it before anyone saw it