New baby and post birth advice #43 no title needed, no suggestions made

[Kaylarina]

Speaking of Birthdays. Is it completely frowned upon to not have a party of the 1st birthday?

We are having a first birthday party for Elanna, but to be completely honest its now at the point where its much bigger than I ever intended it to be. (Husband has a huge family) To be fair, we are using it as a bit of a family get together as my husbands family all live in America/Mexico/Cuba and we haven't seen each other in a while but I am at the point now where I'm willing to pull the "I'm pregnant, you take over" card....but I'm also too much of a control freak to do that

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Genuine question- why a reduced sugar birthday cake?! Isn’t the point of a birthday that it’s meant to be… well, fun?!

Me and Mr Power decided we don't want to give the kids refined sugar until they are closer to age 2, no judgement whatsoever on those who do, it's just the way we're choosing to parent.
I'll probably make the actual cake quite small and then do some full sugar egg included cupcakes or brownies or something for everyone other than the birthday boy.

 

[LilyRose1234]

Me and Mr Power decided we don't want to give the kids refined sugar until they are closer to age 2, no judgement whatsoever on those who do, it's just the way we're choosing to parent.
I'll probably make the actual cake quite small and then do some full sugar egg included cupcakes or brownies or something for everyone other than the birthday boy.

I wish I had done that, boddler rose loves sugary snacks now, even though I only offer them very rarely (use buttons as a bribe if I need her to behave haha) but I wish Id left it until she was older

 

[Megatron1298]

I wish I had done that, boddler rose loves sugary snacks now, even though I only offer them very rarely (use buttons as a bribe if I need her to behave haha) but I wish Id left it until she was older

We also left sugar until 2 and although I can presume it helped him to not be a picky eater, he is obsesssedddd with chocolate and ice cream so like most kids in the end eh. don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s a right of passage for kids to love that crap (and I’m the one scoffing the chocolate in the pantry so I don’t have to share it )

 

[Sky Sports Main Event]

Me and Mr Power decided we don't want to give the kids refined sugar until they are closer to age 2

I'd love to do this but how do you get around grandparents offering sugary treats?

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I'd love to do this but how do you get around grandparents offering sugary treats?

Well we're lucky that they are pretty respectful of our wishes and we were really upfront about wanting to do it this way. We did have to talk to them a couple of times but they took it really well and usually asked first (ie: can we buy her this giant chocolate egg for Easter when she's one? And we said, no, maybe a book and then the chocolate saved for next year).
However they did find it trickier once she was having sugar as we still tried to keep it minimal but to them a balanced snack is a biscuit and a flapjack because.... Oats I guess? But she's old enough now that I can kind of let that go, as we provide most of her food in a week.

 

[Borntorun]

Me and Mr Power decided we don't want to give the kids refined sugar until they are closer to age 2, no judgement whatsoever on those who do, it's just the way we're choosing to parent.
I'll probably make the actual cake quite small and then do some full sugar egg included cupcakes or brownies or something for everyone other than the birthday boy.

But do you not feel a little mean when the rest of you are eating cupcakes and brownies, and the baby has something that you yourself described as “berries on cardboard”?!

No hate. Just genuinely curious about how it works in your house

 

[LilyRose1234]

But do you not feel a little mean when the rest of you are eating cupcakes and brownies, and the baby has something that you yourself described as “berries on cardboard”?!

No hate. Just genuinely curious about how it works in your house

I’m guessing they know no different? Like if boddler rose had never had ice cream she’d have no idea I was giving her frozen natural yoghurt or a sugar free alternative as she’d have nothing to compare it to. Whereas as she’s had ice cream I think if I tried to give her an alternative while I was eating the real thing I’d probably be wearing it within 23 seconds
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We also left sugar until 2 and although I can presume it helped him to not be a picky eater, he is obsesssedddd with chocolate and ice cream so like most kids in the end eh. don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s a right of passage for kids to love that crap (and I’m the one scoffing the chocolate in the pantry so I don’t have to share it )

Haha this is also true! I have a v sweet tooth so can’t expect her not to love pudding! I just sometimes worry she’s a bit young, but not like she’s eating it everyday and she loves fruit and veg so I guess it’s fine haha

 

[WhatABore]

I’m guessing they know no different? Like if boddler rose had never had ice cream she’d have no idea I was giving her frozen natural yoghurt or a sugar free alternative as she’d have nothing to compare it to. Whereas as she’s had ice cream I think if I tried to give her an alternative while I was eating the real thing I’d probably be wearing it within 23 seconds
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Haha this is also true! I have a v sweet tooth so can’t expect her not to love pudding! I just sometimes worry she’s a bit young, but not like she’s eating it everyday and she loves fruit and veg so I guess it’s fine haha

In my personal opinion,
Restricting food is what causes issues.
I was restricted as a kid, my partner was not. I'm the one that's overweight with issues with food

 

[LilyRose1234]

In my personal opinion,
Restricting food is what causes issues.
I was restricted as a kid, my partner was not. I'm the one that's overweight with issues with food

Yeah everything in moderation is key, but I can definitely see the advantages of limiting it until they’re slightly older!

 

[Kaylarina]

In my personal opinion,
Restricting food is what causes issues.
I was restricted as a kid, my partner was not. I'm the one that's overweight with issues with food

I totally agree. I was never restricted about what I could eat (and pretty much told if I scoffed sweets and made myself sick it was my fault!) and I think I have a pretty decent relationship with food. We've given Elanna chocolate, as in she had a advent calendar at christmas and she's had biscuit etc here and there, but if she had the choice she'd take fruit (or cucumber, kids obsessed) any time. Obviously she might become pickier as she gets older but I'm hoping we've got a pretty solid foundation

 

[Sky Sports Main Event]

Refined sugars are made to be tasty and addictive. Of course kids are going to like them when they get them at 1 or 2 or 4 or as adults (as I sit here craving a sugary cuppa ). In my opinion restricting them throughout their entire childhood could potentially cause problems with food later in life but see no problem with it up to 2.

My issue is grandparents not respecting my wishes whatsoever!

 

[WhatABore]

I totally agree. I was never restricted about what I could eat (and pretty much told if I scoffed sweets and made myself sick it was my fault!) and I think I have a pretty decent relationship with food. We've given Elanna chocolate, as in she had a advent calendar at christmas and she's had biscuit etc here and there, but if she had the choice she'd take fruit (or cucumber, kids obsessed) any time. Obviously she might become pickier as she gets older but I'm hoping we've got a pretty solid foundation

My kids are the same.
A lot of the time, they will choose fruit.
Or they have a snack drawer which isn't just chocolate ect. And they will choose the "healthier" stuff a lot of the time.
Because they don't see it as any different
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Yeah everything in moderation is key, but I can definitely see the advantages of limiting it until they’re slightly older!

Can I ask what the advantages are?

 

[Borntorun]

I’m guessing they know no different? Like if boddler rose had never had ice cream she’d have no idea I was giving her frozen natural yoghurt or a sugar free alternative as she’d have nothing to compare it to. Whereas as she’s had ice cream I think if I tried to give her an alternative while I was eating the real thing I’d probably be wearing it within 23 seconds

Oh I’m fully for healthy eating when possible. But by 1, they’re aware that what they are eating isn’t the same as everyone else’s. We have it with my two children, the 1 year old is aware that her dairy free alternative isn’t what my eldest is eating (even if they’re both yoghurts, just one is normal and one is df) and so she cries because she wants what her sister has. So I can’t imagine sitting around the table all eating a nice cake, while serving the birthday child an alternative, and expect them not to notice. In our house, it would result in tears and that feels cruel on their birthday

 

[Kaylarina]

My kids are the same.
A lot of the time, they will choose fruit.
Or they have a snack drawer which isn't just chocolate ect. And they will choose the "healthier" stuff a lot of the time.
Because they don't see it as any different

That's what we're going to do when Elanna is a little bigger. Get her a little cupboard and mini fridge and fill it with a bit of everything. Although so far I'd say the kids got a better palate then me. MIL gave her a jalapeno when she was last over and E absolutely loved it (that's the latin in her!)

I just don't want her to see chocolate/sweets/biscuits/crisps etc as a treat. I just want it all to be part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle. As soon as its something special or something you can't have when you want it (within moderation) you just want it even more.

 

[WhatABore]

That's what we're going to do when Elanna is a little bigger. Get her a little cupboard and mini fridge and fill it with a bit of everything. Although so far I'd say the kids got a better palate then me. MIL gave her a jalapeno when she was last over and E absolutely loved it (that's the latin in her!)

I just don't want her to see chocolate/sweets/biscuits/crisps etc as a treat. I just want it all to be part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle. As soon as its something special or something you can't have when you want it (within moderation) you just want it even more.

Exactly. 100%!
And this is exactly how my partner grew up.
It took a lot of work for me to allow it that way for my kids. But seeing the 10 year old and 4 year old make their own choices, it was 100% worth it!

 

[jackolantern]

everyone other than the birthday boy.

 

[Kaylarina]

Exactly. 100%!
And this is exactly how my partner grew up.
It took a lot of work for me to allow it that way for my kids. But seeing the 10 year old and 4 year old make their own choices, it was 100% worth it!

It's hard changing all you've know but it definitely looks like its paid off!

 

[WhatABore]

Oh I’m fully for healthy eating when possible. But by 1, they’re aware that what they are eating isn’t the same as everyone else’s. We have it with my two children, the 1 year old is aware that her dairy free alternative isn’t what my eldest is eating (even if they’re both yoghurts, just one is normal and one is df) and so she cries because she wants what her sister has. So I can’t imagine sitting around the table all eating a nice cake, while serving the birthday child an alternative, and expect them not to notice. In our house, it would result in tears and that feels cruel on their birthday

Definitely!
The 1 year old certainly knows that she's got different chocolate or yogurt ect to the others because she can't have the dairy!

 

[Borntorun]

That's what we're going to do when Elanna is a little bigger. Get her a little cupboard and mini fridge and fill it with a bit of everything. Although so far I'd say the kids got a better palate then me. MIL gave her a jalapeno when she was last over and E absolutely loved it (that's the latin in her!)

I just don't want her to see chocolate/sweets/biscuits/crisps etc as a treat. I just want it all to be part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle. As soon as its something special or something you can't have when you want it (within moderation) you just want it even more.

We have done this for the eldest. We used the wine fridge in the kitchen island (obviously moved the wine first! It’s now in the cellar) and stocked it with snacks so she can help herself. It was meant to be a temporary measure when I had a tiny baby and was stuck breastfeeding so she can help herself, but actually I find it worked really well so we’ve kept it. We put a good variety in there, and you’d be surprised to know it’s rarely the sweet things that go first. She usually eats the manchego first and she’s recently got a thing for Kalamata olives. And she’s had a little box of those hotel chocolat circles that look like little puppies in there for a week that she’s just not reached for seems to give her a decent foundation like you say. All about balance