New baby and post birth advice #34 Just press the tummy to turn it off

[sodit]

You can’t blame the girl when it comes to an apple crumble, if it was custard with it it’s a no brainer
This is why I’m going to be skint when baby’s older, I’ll be like fair enough I’d do the same love

if I’d read I could have just quoted and put ‘same’.

Anyway it’s started. My dad asked me today how long I’ll be carrying on breastfeeding for now he’s nearly 1. Got the full spiel about the WHO and seemed chill about it thankfully, more inquisitive than condemning.
Think he’s low key panicking as I’m going back to work in December and baby doesn’t start childcare until Jan, so he’s having some AL to watch him for me. His questions keep circling back to how baby will cope without me and idk to be honest.
He was bottle fed the first 2 months and we kept up giving him a few a week for ages, but since probably about August we’ve proper slacked on it, I tend to use my expressed milk in his breakfast or pop it in the freezer. A few weeks ago we went away for a couple of nights and we were setting off Friday after work and baby’s tea/bath etc. I needed to sort some things and pack the car so Mr SI tried giving him a bottle, and we tried giving it to him with handles to self feed (he’s previously enjoyed this) and he just wasn’t having it at all. And then we’ve not tried him since
Should probably start giving him another try. But because he feeds less now, (like 4/5 times a day - but millions at night) I don’t really want to sacrifice anyway. Plus apart from first thing in bed and last thing before going down, there’s no routine at all now. It’s all based on either when he ‘asks’ or more likely, when he’s got too cocky with how exploring and hurt himself. And when the tears are pouring, it’s gotta be milk direct from HQ.

 

[Borntorun]

Update on the health visitor - she made the piles feel like a 2 week holiday in Spain. I’ve had maccies and near enough drowned myself in lavender to cheer myself up REALLY nice of her to say “don’t worry about the house being tidy” when the house was in fact tidy - cos I was up at 7 tidying it. “How’s your mood though? How are you actually feeling?” Honestly, Linda, if you left I’d be feeling a lot bleeping better.

I remember being pregnant with the eldest and the HV came for a pre birth visit. I was nesting big time and I’d even washed the skirting boards that morning. She told me that she’d next see me on day 10 postnatal, that she’d be insisting on a ‘sleeping area assessment” upstairs and so I might want to consider ‘tidying up a bit’ while she waved her hand about dismissively. I remember taking a photo of my house on my phone and asking friends if it looked messy because I couldn’t fathom what needed tidying up and to this day I still can’t work it out, place was spotless 🫠

 

[Belle Amie]

if I’d read I could have just quoted and put ‘same’.

Anyway it’s started. My dad asked me today how long I’ll be carrying on breastfeeding for now he’s nearly 1. Got the full spiel about the WHO and seemed chill about it thankfully, more inquisitive than condemning.
Think he’s low key panicking as I’m going back to work in December and baby doesn’t start childcare until Jan, so he’s having some AL to watch him for me. His questions keep circling back to how baby will cope without me and idk to be honest.
He was bottle fed the first 2 months and we kept up giving him a few a week for ages, but since probably about August we’ve proper slacked on it, I tend to use my expressed milk in his breakfast or pop it in the freezer. A few weeks ago we went away for a couple of nights and we were setting off Friday after work and baby’s tea/bath etc. I needed to sort some things and pack the car so Mr SI tried giving him a bottle, and we tried giving it to him with handles to self feed (he’s previously enjoyed this) and he just wasn’t having it at all. And then we’ve not tried him since
Should probably start giving him another try. But because he feeds less now, (like 4/5 times a day - but millions at night) I don’t really want to sacrifice anyway. Plus apart from first thing in bed and last thing before going down, there’s no routine at all now. It’s all based on either when he ‘asks’ or more likely, when he’s got too cocky with how exploring and hurt himself. And when the tears are pouring, it’s gotta be milk direct from HQ.

This is my fear too! I do all the nap and bedtimes and I feed to sleep everytime unless we’re out so I’m scared he won’t sleep at nursery. We’ve started trying his sippy cup and nanobebe bottles again in the morning but he’s hit and miss if he’ll drink from them, cause he doesn’t eat much solid food either I’m scared he’s just not going to bother at nursery and lose weight
We’re out at the end of the month and MIL needs to do bedtime safe to say I’m terrified how it’s going to go i’d cancel if it wasn’t a birthday present from 2020

It’s never ending stress anyway throw nursery in there and it’s worse!

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

I remember being pregnant with the eldest and the HV came for a pre birth visit. I was nesting big time and I’d even washed the skirting boards that morning. She told me that she’d next see me on day 10 postnatal, that she’d be insisting on a ‘sleeping area assessment” upstairs and so I might want to consider ‘tidying up a bit’ while she waved her hand about dismissively. I remember taking a photo of my house on my phone and asking friends if it looked messy because I couldn’t fathom what needed tidying up and to this day I still can’t work it out, place was spotless 🫠

This is so rude, why are they like this?! My baby is mixed race and she was obsessed with what religion he’s going to be and kept asking loads of questions implying my partner could force religion/culture on him. I was like he’s a 10 day old baby chill babes, he can believe whatever he wants

My midwives in contrast were amazing and they said they’d be more worried if the house was spotless with a newborn

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

This is so rude, why are they like this?! My baby is mixed race and she was obsessed with what religion he’s going to be and kept asking loads of questions implying my partner could force religion/culture on him. I was like he’s a 10 day old baby chill babes, he can believe whatever he wants

My midwives in contrast were amazing and they said they’d be more worried if the house was spotless with a newborn

The racism still alive in this country is sickening, I'm sorry you had to experience that.

I always found the HV's fairly useless but not actually rude round here thankfully, I did have one very unpleasant community midwife though.
But I actually called the HV's for some advice recently expecting them to be completely hopeless but they answered the phone and were actually really helpful!

Although they have stopped baby clinics in my area since Covid, as in a lot of other areas, so if baby has gained weight ok at 6 weeks you don't get any other contact until they are 1 I don't think, and my 3yo has never had a development check because of Covid.

 

[Definitelyme]

Morning everyone. Hope all is well, I’m trying to check for a @WhatABore update, have to keep flicking back pages, but have been thinking of you!

We are all settled in to the new house - mostly. It still doesn’t feel 100% like home yet, but I’m assuming that will come. The kids are very happy so that’s the main thing.

T minus 4 days until internet connection

Anyone got any recommendations for toys etc for the 9-12m age range? I'm sorting Christmas out and we're going very minimal, I've got a couple of ideas and we've already got things from when the eldest was a baby but just wondering if anyone has anything that was a mega hit at this age in case I've forgotten something really obvious!

I always say it but the best toy we have ever had is a wheelybug. We have had it 9 years, since my eldest’s first Christmas, and it is used daily by all 4 kids. Hands down the best toy we have had! Not great on carpet I would imagine though.
Second best toy we have ever had are Sarah’s silks. Beloved by all to the point they have fallen apart now and need replaced (we’ve had them about 4 years).

 

[Borntorun]

This is so rude, why are they like this?! My baby is mixed race and she was obsessed with what religion he’s going to be and kept asking loads of questions implying my partner could force religion/culture on him. I was like he’s a 10 day old baby chill babes, he can believe whatever he wants

My midwives in contrast were amazing and they said they’d be more worried if the house was spotless with a newborn

Haha that’s another thing. My HV was banging on about how we shouldn’t use my husbands mother tongue at home as raising bilingual kids means they’re just always behind academically. Well screw you HV, I’ve got a bilingual 3.5yo, speaks both languages fluently and is def not behind in any way, in fact she’s currently learning to read

 

[Author123]

Haha that’s another thing. My HV was banging on about how we shouldn’t use my husbands mother tongue at home as raising bilingual kids means they’re just always behind academically. Well screw you HV, I’ve got a bilingual 3.5yo, speaks both languages fluently and is def not behind in any way, in fact she’s currently learning to read

Ive had this exact ‘warning’ given to me just the last couple of weeks! But I’m sticking to my guns as I strongly believe that having the ability to speak more than one language from birth will be a really useful gift/

Out of interest do you also speak your husband’s mother tongue? I’m learning but ability is a bit basic at the moment!

 

[CrackRatcher]

Anyone’s newborn cluster feed? His 5 days old and has been having an ounce every single hour .. I’m a single parent and literally exhausted to the point of crying every day my 1st two babies weren’t anything like this

 

[Megatron1298]

Jeez I would have loved to have learnt a second language when I was growing up. Hell of a lot easier than trying to learn it now!

I have my in laws with us for a few days and somewhat helpful but is really just annoying having their presence around as I’m a very routine oriented person (not strictly but we all have our way of doing things right!). And I realised today that I haven’t had a break or 5 mins to myself since I woke up at 6. I barely had lunch and if I’m not taking care of the baby, or pumping, I’m trying to maximise time with my toddler. It’s just exhausting… probably didn’t help our toddler slept with us last night so here’s me at 2am quietly trying to burp my baby without waking the large child taking up the majority of our bed

meanwhile while my husband was wfh today he managed to spend some time in the garden, and go for a 13km run. Wouldn’t that be nice it feels so yuck to be resentful like this but ugh sometimes it just feels so unfair

hey would you look at that I did know why I was fed up

 

[Borntorun]

Ive had this exact ‘warning’ given to me just the last couple of weeks! But I’m sticking to my guns as I strongly believe that having the ability to speak more than one language from birth will be a really useful gift/

Out of interest do you also speak your husband’s mother tongue? I’m learning but ability is a bit basic at the moment!

Haha i speak very basic level - the kind of stuff toddlers want to talk about on repeat (so I’m really good at farm animals and snacks basically…)

I remember being very pissed off about her negativity. And then later on a questionnaire thing came through and it asked me to list ten words she could say and I took great delight in making two lists of all the words she could say in each language. HV chose not to comment on it at the review

 

[LilyRose1234]

Anyone’s newborn cluster feed? His 5 days old and has been having an ounce every single hour .. I’m a single parent and literally exhausted to the point of crying every day my 1st two babies weren’t anything like this

Mine did, I would say until she was about a week, then it quietened down, and then when she went through growth spurts at 2 weeks, 4 weeks and 6 weeks she would again for a day or two, but usually during the day rather than at night. It’s so tough but you’ve got this, and it sounds really unhelpful but it does pass xxx

 

[WhatABore]

Morning everyone. Hope all is well, I’m trying to check for a @WhatABore update, have to keep flicking back pages, but have been thinking of you!

We are all settled in to the new house - mostly. It still doesn’t feel 100% like home yet, but I’m assuming that will come. The kids are very happy so that’s the main thing.

T minus 4 days until internet connection



I always say it but the best toy we have ever had is a wheelybug. We have had it 9 years, since my eldest’s first Christmas, and it is used daily by all 4 kids. Hands down the best toy we have had! Not great on carpet I would imagine though.
Second best toy we have ever had are Sarah’s silks. Beloved by all to the point they have fallen apart now and need replaced (we’ve had them about 4 years).

Thank you for thinking of us!
We're out of hospital now
Got 2 weeks on IVs still. Have to go into hospital every day for them.
Got an appointment today back at the hospital we got moved to to see if she only needs 2 weeks or longer.
She's getting there though

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

Talking of HVs, home visits etc. - my mum was told off by her midwife as she'd be up, dressed, with a full face on and me in a frilly outfit and a spotless house. Apparently the midwife told her 'next time I see you I want you in your pyjamas resting on the sofa'.

Unlike the midwife she had when my sister was born. My dad walked out just before my mum gave birth and the midwife suggested my mum 'wait for him on the doorstep with no knickers on' to get him to come home. Literally a week after giving birth with a third degree tear and a toddler in the house.

 

[Borntorun]

After talking about Xmas yesterday, thought I’d share this. If you use the code rainbows , this rainbow toy that everyone seems to have on Instagram becomes a tenner including delivery

Silicone & Wood Rainbow: Nature

Every modern playmat or toy shelf needs a rainbow - as well as looking great, the open play possibilities are endless. We promise you'll be amazed at your kid’s inventiveness as they busy themselves making bridges, houses, tunnels, seesaws, slides and so much more. Our Silicone & Wood Rainbow...

www.kidly.co.uk

 

[jackolantern]

We haven't seen (or heard from) our HV since May, told us she'd be back in a month As far as we know she could be living as a mountain goat in Peru. Can't say I miss her. When Tommy was having all those agonising months of colic and we'd tried everything under the sun, her fantastic advice was "well, it will pass eventually, have you tried anti colic bottles?" NO, REALLY?

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Mine is coming next week, which means she will stay for 2 hours to discuss the twins development, she always over stays her welcome

 

[jackolantern]

Mine is coming next week, which means she will stay for 2 hours to discuss the twins development, she always over stays her welcome

Can you feed T2 lots of sprouts so she clears the room and the witch has no choice but to evacuate the building/county?

 

[LittleBluebird]

Socks that fit properly and don’t fall down are an absolute game changer.

Didn’t realize just how irritated/ frustrated I was most of the time because of my damn socks.

 

[Jellybean093]

KW has well pissed me off today. He’s off work, sick, so has obviously been home all day. I still end up doing nearly everything, even though I’m working?!
I asked him to make the 6yo packed lunch today, while I was defleaing upstairs (yey to cats with fleas who I only put stuff on for 3 weeks ago any ideas on the best flea bombs welcome!!) he couldn’t have sighed louder! Anyway, I took the boys out so he had time to himself (still working!!!) came home and he’s had a little nap, on the stripped bed, unmade, so that’s a job for me later. 20 mins after baby’s bottle was due I said ‘Ah, let’s do your bottle’ while u had both boys climbing on me , while trying to work. Anyway, I made a comment about daddy doing it, but got ‘I’ve got to do the school run’ ok. But you don’t have to leave for 10 minutes and I’ve done the water, just add the milk?!
I can’t win. He works, kids aren’t his problem. He’s sick, kids aren’t his problem. I work, kids are my problem. Im sick, kids are my problem. So fed up of it. And so, so tired