New baby and post birth advice #34 Just press the tummy to turn it off

[WhatABore]

We have a bed! In Cambridge
Now just waiting for transport to turn up!

 

[Nipslips]

I’m new here! Finally graduated from pregnancy thread where I had a great time for 40 weeks Baby slips arrived last night after a very long 2days but we are both doing fab despite it all 🫠

 

[WhatABore]

We're going homeeeee!

Well, mostly after 2 weeks in hospital.
She needs 2 weeks of IV antibiotics which means taking her back into hospital once a day but that's better than staying in hospital!

And then another 4 weeks of oral antibiotics on top as well as several repeat xrays.
But I'll take it

 

[WhatABore]

Just a small update until I can be bothered to type more.
This hospital is still awful

Been for another xray today to join with the ultrasound she had yesterday.
They can't actually drain the fluid because it's been there for so long, it's too thick to come out, even if they wanted to. It's not just fluid now, it's got fibres and stuff in too.
Can't remember if I said before but the fluid has caused her lung to collapse.

Waiting on the xray results. But if its not getting better, they will have to put her under and do actual surgery to remove the fluid by hand.

 

[WhatABore]

So we were promised a bed at Leicester.
Bed available. Her name was down.
Just had to wait for them to let us know when the bed was ready.
Aaand the bed has gone
4 days now waiting for a bed somewhere.
They said she isn't going to get better until the fluid can be drained.
Fluid can't be drained until we're moved because they can't do it here.

I asked what happens if we can't get a bed and all they keep saying is "we will"
I understand they can't just magic a bed.
But she's a 4 year old with severe pneumonia and fluid surrounding her lungs that is getting worse.
They're still pumping her full of antibiotics that aren't working. She hasn't eaten in nearly 2 weeks now.
And we're just stuck here because they can't do anything.

 

[miaaaa]

Knobwaffle told me a story today that justifies them being called knobwaffles

One of the lads who works for him finished a job for him earlier then planned so KW was like you can go home if you want. This guy turns round and was like "it's alright mate I'll stay with you at the unit if that's alright as it's half term and I've got 3 kids at home..." This was at lunch, KW said this guy went home at 6PM !!!!! I DESPAIR

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

On the topic of male mental health, Mr Sailor contacted his gp on Monday to say how awful he’d been feeling for months (after pretty much a full scale breakdown at the weekend) and said he’d even contemplated suicide more than once - which I can’t even bare to think about but makes the next part just appalling. They said they’d contact him on Wednesday (!) so 3 days later and they did today…….emailing him a list some free places for therapy. That’s it. No phone or face to face contact, no further discussion about anything, nothing. Now, is it any fucking wonder men feel so unsupported generally and especially during parenthood and such? Is it any wonder bad male mental health is so prevalent when you are met with constant barriers to get the help you so desperately need? I am genuinely beyond shocked. It took SO much for him to speak to someone after years of bullshit and now we are going to be back in the same cycle when we’re trying to break it desperately and get back to our life, the one we used to love anyway.

I’m so sorry you are going through it @jackolantern, KW said the kids were the only thing keeping him “here” too at the weekend. It’s a lot to take and can be incredibly hurtful but it comes from a very desperate place doesn’t it. Thinking of you, you are so strong

 

[MrsLucas]

Baby girl is home we managed to avoid tube feeding she finally started having her bottles slowly. Her numbers Were good and she was being an absolute delightful angel. I honestly can’t believe how things turned this afternoon I’m so so relieved she didn’t have to have the tube. I’m just so happy to be at home. My other two are at grandparents tonight so we’ve had lots of cuddles. She’s exhausted bless her.

 

[WhatABore]

Currently on the way!
She was scared about going in the ambulance.

I just said to her... "See, I told you it wasn't scary"
She said "Yeah. I love it. I want to do it again sometime!"

Mmm no thanks mate!!

 

[jackolantern]

Fighting with OH again, although we don't ever seem to stop tbf. Brought up breaking up again so I'm firmly back in the doghouse. It's just pushing me to breaking point, we are just so overwhelmed by so many things and OH is utterly miserable 24/7 and has been for about 75% of the time for the past 5 or so years but now it's a solid 99% and that on top of the rest is draining the living shit out of me. I know that's so selfish because his health is such a battle for him but it's not that, it's how negative he is toward everything. Never smiles, grunts at me at best, it's all the little stuff, I'm just treading on egg shells all the time and I feel like he won't try and get better. I know the system has failed him so badly and he won't trust them, but he has completely given up on us and our life and I just don't know what to do, there isn't anything I suppose. He hates everything, finds no joy in anything and I know that's depression, but he won't acknowledge it. What should be the best time of my life has become the worst because since having Tommy, our relationship is unbearable. Obviously it's not all him, I'm no piece of cake, but I feel like I still have hope and can find joy in atleast some things. I don't remember the last time he spoke to me like he loved me and not just like I was chewing gum on his shoe.

I know I'm painting an awful picture of him and he really is a fucking wonderful person, but this depression is killing us and I can't take it

 

[Definitelyme]

Happiest birthday mama @onlyheretoorbit !!!

Guys I don’t wanna be dramatic, but WE ARE MOVING HOUSE TOMORROW finally!
But sadly as it’s all come together so last minute we can’t get our internet connected until 7th Nov (can send spaceships to mars, but can’t connect internet on earth in less than 2 weeks…) thus my appearance here shall be sporadic at best this next while. I feel so dramatic and a bit of a dick saying that like it’s a big deal, but just so you don’t think I died under a pile of boxes or anything!

 

[Belle Amie]

I really just need a moan, why when people are clearly talking about you do they make it SO obvious. We went out today and I caught about 3 couples nodding staring and talking to each other clearly about my sons helmet. I’d expect that off children or kids to say something not understanding why he’s wearing it but not from grown fucking adults. It’s heartbreaking and annoying that he’s being talked about when all I want to do is ask them what their problem is and what they’re saying but I’d probably get knocked out
Like are we supposed to wear a sign to shut people up, wish people had some class and decorum and just asked why he’s wearing it rather than whisper amongst themselves.
The kicker is a little girl said to me ‘aw he’s so cute’ and didn’t even mention the helmet. If a kid of about 8 can be nice why can’t a man of 40!

Sorry my OH thinks I’m overreacting but I needed to get it out somewhere.

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Joining this thread as im now home with a two day old baby, and will definitely need the company in the small hours! Managed a whole 20 mins of sleep last night, couldn’t fall asleep for the life of me and then he woke up and has been attached to my boobs since 1am. At least this time round I know it’s not forever, I think I just cried with my first. I do however have high blood pressure this time which I’m fairly sure will not be helped by getting absolutely zero sleep…time to go wake my husband up!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I put twin 2 in her chair and hooked her up for her morning feed and she's just looked me dead in the eye and said ta
I cried
The sweetest thing in the whole wide world.

 

[WhatABore]

Just popping a TW as I was going to mention a couple of the things I've seen whilst in here with little kids making me realise how lucky I am!

Spoiler: Hospital Stories TW

I know my daughter is really poorly but being in hospital, and seeing other sick children has really put into perspective how lucky I am.

Two things that made me super emotional.

I was talking to a Mum today with a 19 month old little boy. He's spent the past 6 months going through chemo after the doctor kept telling her that there was nothing wrong and she was just being anxious! Even with all that, he's still laughing away at the slightest little thing!

Another little boy who was in the bay next to us, he's 3.
He sat talking to his Mum saying "M u m. That spells mum. You're Mum. That's you.
D a d spells Dad. Daddy is coming back.

His Mum turned to him and said" Well, no sweetie, Daddy is in heaven"
He said "Oh, Daddy isn't coming back"
And she just burst out crying.
And I sat behind the curtain crying my eyes out!
Really wanted to burst in and hug them!

All these amazing brave little kids! It amazes me how strong kids can be!

 

[shadowofdoubt]

Making my way over from the pregnancy thread after the baby decided 35 week was enough & he wanted to make his entrance! Any tips, ways to get through/keep sane NICU would be absolutely amazing because I’m an absolute mess the second I leave him. Never felt guilt like it

 

[shadowofdoubt]

Update on the health visitor - she made the piles feel like a 2 week holiday in Spain. I’ve had maccies and near enough drowned myself in lavender to cheer myself up REALLY nice of her to say “don’t worry about the house being tidy” when the house was in fact tidy - cos I was up at 7 tidying it. “How’s your mood though? How are you actually feeling?” Honestly, Linda, if you left I’d be feeling a lot fucking better.

 

[LongishCat]

@WhatABore @Sailorontheseasea thinking of you all So frustrating when you're doing all you can, but still feel like you should be able to do something more. Don't be too hard on yourselves during all this You're superstars!

@Celeste my MIL keeps "casually" saying she wants Kitten to stay overnight, the guestroom is now being referred to as the Kitten room. It drives me absolutely bonkers.
I hate leaving Kitten somewhere else (apart from daycare or with MrCat). We went out one evening when she was around 6 months old (first time since having her). She stayed with my brother and SIL. She had a good time and me too, kinda, but I just wanted to go home to her. We haven't gone out together (me & mrCat that is) since, which MrCat doesn't really like, but I just spend the evening missing her, it's not really enjoyable for me. I'm a protective momma bear, I need to be with my little cub
Kitten's not going for any sleepovers any time soon.

Kitten turned 1 today! I can't quite believe it!
We had some people over and she got loads of gifts and ate her first ever cupcake. It was really nice
Felt bittersweet that my dad just missed her birthday by not even 2 weeks... My mom cried a bit when the other guests had left. It's just so unfair...

 

[Chrisxo]

Hi guys hope you don’t mind me joining I’ve just had my baby yesterday today is our first night at home and I’m a wreck I’m terrified something will happen to him in his sleep I’m scared he’ll overheat or be too cold I have him in my next to me with a short vest babygrow swaddled in a cellular then a knitted blanket tucked on too unsure of my room temp, we’ve also been doing so well at breastfeeding but now we’re home it’s went downhill I can’t sleep I’m terrified can anyone help I’m aware there will have been 100’s of posts like this

 

[WhatABore]

So we had a ct scan yesterday to check to make sure her fluid pockets hadnt turned into abscesses. They haven't. But the pneumonia and fluid isn't clearing up as quick as they'd like. So we have to have another 2 weeks minimum of IV antibiotics