Oh lass, what a difficult set of circumstances. It's so hard not having anything to pin any hope on at all if there are no more doctor appointments or tests being run. Your OH being stuck on the 'this is the way it is and will never get better' mentality and therefore not looking into any soloutions has to be incredibly tough on you and your mental health, you're doing bloody well coping through this and Tommy and the job and family things that have cropped up too.
I can somewhat relate, Mr SI has been off work for weeks now with physical health issues that I am sure are related to his MH, as he's been changing his medication doses, but won't accept the link....even though the physical symptoms are the same with no tests churning up a 'reason' as just before he absolutely cracked it, went through some extremely dark times and went off to be an inpatient. It terrifies me at times as I gave so much of myself to him last time he was really really unwell, he was a danger to himself so I could basically never leave even for work, and I used up all my goodwill there, ran through savings, had to give up my hobbies and social life. They'd only had a short stay space for him and then turfed him out back home with community nursing a couple of times a day while he was still very much not okay and still bavigating visions and voices, but I couldn't have that around the baby now, but I couldn't kick him when he was down and ban him from his family either, it's such a tough spot.
The part I find the hardest is when it seems like they aren't trying to get better. It's hard when someone is ill, but it is easier to manage when they actively WANT to be well. I know metophorically even standing still can be difficult for them, let alone trying to make strides forward. But with all the burden of life falling on you, it can end up with you flip flopping between resentment and low self esteem at not being worthy enough for them to want to get better for. And then going back to being gutted for them because you love them.
This is such a ramble and I don't wnat to make it about me but I want you to know that you aren't alone xxxxx
Me and my husband call the grandparents the Old Goats, idk why. But they're always butting in/being annoying.
You're deffo right feeling cheesed off, having so much to drink on a weeknight that plans to help with a grandchild have to be cancelled ain't if and it's nor fair either.
What a massive bit of rage bait!!! You're doing a good job with the kids = you're obviously not that ill is such an unfair stance as most mums will summon up any ounce of strength to see to little ones, even if it's at their own recovery detriment and makes being ill drag on longer than if they could just go to bed for a day.
I'm so sorry you all went through that, it sounds so bloody difficult, you are an absolute rockstar for getting through it all. I hope you are all doing better now xxx
Hello!
