rainbowlemon
VIP Member
Following on from the last comment the grief and mourning for not having a normal family will always be there I think.
- Notice
HitnMiss
Well-known member
Creating a new thread.
I've been lurking here for a while. I'm so sorry that we have ended up with parents like this.
I've been disowned by my nm as I called the Golden child out after he transferred all her money into his account. Every last cent. And I'm the one that gets the blame? I'm actually happier without contact but it still hurts.
Hugs to all that need one x
I've been lurking here for a while. I'm so sorry that we have ended up with parents like this.
I've been disowned by my nm as I called the Golden child out after he transferred all her money into his account. Every last cent. And I'm the one that gets the blame? I'm actually happier without contact but it still hurts.
Hugs to all that need one x
Rodneytrotter
Chatty Member
I just remembered today how when I was about 10 my mum used to take me to Boots and weigh me on one of those weighing machines. My dad would be there too. When the ticket came out of the machine stating that I was overweight my mum would rant to my dad about how she was never as fat as me at 10. She would then have a go at me saying I need to stop eating so much etc etc. I also remember her leaving me in the car whilst she did a shift at work.
Can fully relate to narc parents wearing you down out of “concern”.
My mum offered to pay for my wedding dress. Uncharacteristically generous of her, but great. I found a dress I liked - it was an old sample dress from a discontinued dress that I LOVED and found on Pinterest. So, it was pretty cheap. About £200 and will need about £400 in alterations.
Funnily enough, when my mum heard I’d gone out and bought a dress, she wasn’t pleased. No offer to pay for it anymore. I realised that all along, she’d offered to pay so she could be involved in choosing the dress. Because she wanted to be centre of attention at a bridal shop as mother of the bride. Because SHE wanted something out of it, not because she wanted me to be happy.
I felt bad she’d missed out on the whole “say yes to the dress” experience. It wasn’t my intention to rob her of anything. So shrugged the retraction of the offer off.
I tried to make her feel better by letting her see photos of me in the dress.
She made a long list of suggestions on how it should be altered. No compliments whatsoever. I shrugged it off.
A few months later, she’s obviously feeling annoyed I have changed my mind and booked fitting for other dresses. She texts me “out of concern”. How I should try on other dresses so I can get an “honest” opinion on what “flatters” me. She’s basically saying I look bad in my dress in a roundabout way.
Initially, I felt pretty crushed. But I guess I’ve learned not to take it to heart anymore. The whole dress situation wasn’t about me or my dress. Really it’s about my mother wanting something and her reaction to not getting it. I could have worn the most perfect, beautiful dress in the world and it wouldn’t have been good enough for my mother, because she wanted to make the choice and get something out of it for herself - it was never about me or my dress. I’ve learned to Grey rock in response to her “I like my dress and I’m happy with my choice”.
I think I posted here - when my mum saw that the constant criticism was getting her nowhere, she switched tact to being very apologetic. It almost hurt me more, because I knew it was completely disingenuous. I know how to grey rock her criticisms and digs now, but the kind, empathetic approach, took me off guard.
my advice to @Good Egg and anyone else struggling with narc parents is… don’t ever forget that their insults, digs and comments are always about them, and never about you.
the project their hatred of themselves (because all narcissist hate themselves deep down) onto others, because it’s easier than feeling it for themselves.
it makes me sad to hear about people not going for opportunities or not believing in themselves because they start believing what their narc parents say. And when it gets to this point, you have to treat yourself like you love yourself, even if you don’t. You have to distance yourself from these people at all costs. Physically and emotionally. Because it was literally save your life. Do not communicate or see people who make you feel this way. Do not spend your life letting this posting infiltrate everything good in it. Value yourself more than these people ever can, I beg you.
for me, a turning point was when I visited home for Christmas after about a 5 hour journey. My narc sister (with the support of my mother) treated me horribly. Started a fight, kicked me out of the room I was staying in, threw my clothes everywhere… I honestly felt so small and so destroyed. Like I wasn’t worth living, because if my own family couldn’t be kind to me then who would? I felt in that moment like my life wasn’t worth anything. It’s a horrible place to be in mentally but it’s where narcs drive you to.
it made something click in my head. Maybe a survival instinct, that told me that it was up to me and me alone to chose better for myself.
so that Christmas I packed my bags up, called a friend and booked a hotel room for the night. I then went to stay for the remainder of the holidays with my best friend.
I haven’t been back home for Christmas since. I’ve barely spoken to either my mother or my sister since. And my life has improved exponentially because of it. I don’t cry in the middle of the night, upset over their treatment of me anymore. I feel more confident. It’s like stepping into the light in all honesty, like shifting a huge weight.
My mum offered to pay for my wedding dress. Uncharacteristically generous of her, but great. I found a dress I liked - it was an old sample dress from a discontinued dress that I LOVED and found on Pinterest. So, it was pretty cheap. About £200 and will need about £400 in alterations.
Funnily enough, when my mum heard I’d gone out and bought a dress, she wasn’t pleased. No offer to pay for it anymore. I realised that all along, she’d offered to pay so she could be involved in choosing the dress. Because she wanted to be centre of attention at a bridal shop as mother of the bride. Because SHE wanted something out of it, not because she wanted me to be happy.
I felt bad she’d missed out on the whole “say yes to the dress” experience. It wasn’t my intention to rob her of anything. So shrugged the retraction of the offer off.
I tried to make her feel better by letting her see photos of me in the dress.
She made a long list of suggestions on how it should be altered. No compliments whatsoever. I shrugged it off.
A few months later, she’s obviously feeling annoyed I have changed my mind and booked fitting for other dresses. She texts me “out of concern”. How I should try on other dresses so I can get an “honest” opinion on what “flatters” me. She’s basically saying I look bad in my dress in a roundabout way.
Initially, I felt pretty crushed. But I guess I’ve learned not to take it to heart anymore. The whole dress situation wasn’t about me or my dress. Really it’s about my mother wanting something and her reaction to not getting it. I could have worn the most perfect, beautiful dress in the world and it wouldn’t have been good enough for my mother, because she wanted to make the choice and get something out of it for herself - it was never about me or my dress. I’ve learned to Grey rock in response to her “I like my dress and I’m happy with my choice”.
I think I posted here - when my mum saw that the constant criticism was getting her nowhere, she switched tact to being very apologetic. It almost hurt me more, because I knew it was completely disingenuous. I know how to grey rock her criticisms and digs now, but the kind, empathetic approach, took me off guard.
my advice to @Good Egg and anyone else struggling with narc parents is… don’t ever forget that their insults, digs and comments are always about them, and never about you.
the project their hatred of themselves (because all narcissist hate themselves deep down) onto others, because it’s easier than feeling it for themselves.
it makes me sad to hear about people not going for opportunities or not believing in themselves because they start believing what their narc parents say. And when it gets to this point, you have to treat yourself like you love yourself, even if you don’t. You have to distance yourself from these people at all costs. Physically and emotionally. Because it was literally save your life. Do not communicate or see people who make you feel this way. Do not spend your life letting this posting infiltrate everything good in it. Value yourself more than these people ever can, I beg you.
for me, a turning point was when I visited home for Christmas after about a 5 hour journey. My narc sister (with the support of my mother) treated me horribly. Started a fight, kicked me out of the room I was staying in, threw my clothes everywhere… I honestly felt so small and so destroyed. Like I wasn’t worth living, because if my own family couldn’t be kind to me then who would? I felt in that moment like my life wasn’t worth anything. It’s a horrible place to be in mentally but it’s where narcs drive you to.
it made something click in my head. Maybe a survival instinct, that told me that it was up to me and me alone to chose better for myself.
so that Christmas I packed my bags up, called a friend and booked a hotel room for the night. I then went to stay for the remainder of the holidays with my best friend.
I haven’t been back home for Christmas since. I’ve barely spoken to either my mother or my sister since. And my life has improved exponentially because of it. I don’t cry in the middle of the night, upset over their treatment of me anymore. I feel more confident. It’s like stepping into the light in all honesty, like shifting a huge weight.
Good Egg
VIP Member
Why do narcissists drain you to the point where you feel physically and mentally exhausted and drained when you’ve been in their company?
I slept this afternoon for about three hours. Total exhaustion. I couldn’t keep my eyes open I felt foggy.
It’s sounds daft, totally daft, but when I sleep I can dream about being somewhere anywhere, without a narcissist putting a dark cloud over everything. I feel calm when I’m asleep, no anxiety or anything.
Utterly ridiculous isn’t it? Life is for living and I’m sleeping during the day.
I slept this afternoon for about three hours. Total exhaustion. I couldn’t keep my eyes open I felt foggy.
It’s sounds daft, totally daft, but when I sleep I can dream about being somewhere anywhere, without a narcissist putting a dark cloud over everything. I feel calm when I’m asleep, no anxiety or anything.
Utterly ridiculous isn’t it? Life is for living and I’m sleeping during the day.
Good Egg
VIP Member
Why is it narcs come out at Christmas? The drama, the shouting, the opinions, the screaming...
I hate this time of the year because it’s emotionally exhausting and draining. The expectations from those who have ‘normal’ families who don’t understand it - not really...
I’m going to be here during Christmas time if anybody needs to chat or needs support... it’s bloody tough when you have a narcissistic person in your life
I hate this time of the year because it’s emotionally exhausting and draining. The expectations from those who have ‘normal’ families who don’t understand it - not really...
I’m going to be here during Christmas time if anybody needs to chat or needs support... it’s bloody tough when you have a narcissistic person in your life
Bettyboo2475
Chatty Member
It's Mother's day here in UK and I can't wait for it to be over. If I read another post about how fantastic somebody's mum is I think I'll explode.
no-no
VIP Member
I had to block my mum on Monday when I got a tirade via text just as I was starting work.
I’ve been making an effort so much lately (leaving me feeling so drained and defeatist). I read the message and blocked, didn’t respond, but the guilt still weighs heavy. They always revert to form.
I read a quote once about them not wanting a lifebelt, they want someone to drown with them. It sends your head in to a spin when you think you’re helping.
I’ve been making an effort so much lately (leaving me feeling so drained and defeatist). I read the message and blocked, didn’t respond, but the guilt still weighs heavy. They always revert to form.
I read a quote once about them not wanting a lifebelt, they want someone to drown with them. It sends your head in to a spin when you think you’re helping.
I feel like I've just emotionally checked out so much recently in terms of a relationship with my mother.
She calls me roughly once a week for say 20 mins. I speak about my own life I'd say for less than a minute of that then it's just whatever nonsense drama she's created in her life. Even when I've just come back from like an amazing 2 week trip she literally asks how it was (purely out of politeness) and once i say 'oh it was amazing' then moves straight onto something about her life. It's exhausting. She literally doesn't care about anything in my life when it was has no relation to her which now that I live farther way, is very little. We gave a family wedding coming up in the next few months and Drshe obsessively talks about that, repeatedly asking what I'm wearing, how I'm doing my hair, asking if Ive put on weight as she doesn't want to be 'shown up' by me
She calls me roughly once a week for say 20 mins. I speak about my own life I'd say for less than a minute of that then it's just whatever nonsense drama she's created in her life. Even when I've just come back from like an amazing 2 week trip she literally asks how it was (purely out of politeness) and once i say 'oh it was amazing' then moves straight onto something about her life. It's exhausting. She literally doesn't care about anything in my life when it was has no relation to her which now that I live farther way, is very little. We gave a family wedding coming up in the next few months and Drshe obsessively talks about that, repeatedly asking what I'm wearing, how I'm doing my hair, asking if Ive put on weight as she doesn't want to be 'shown up' by me
goldengyal
Active member
I’m not sure I’m going to articulate this correctly so bear with me but I’ve been thinking on this today.
I had one of those moments today where I was like ‘I don’t want to be an adult right now, I want a parental figure to come take care of everything, stroke my hair and tell me it’s all going to be okay’. But then I realised I’ve never even had that. I’ve never had a safe figure to come and take away my burdens or tell me it’s okay so it’s no wonder I long for that when I’m having a tough time because we are told from young that that’s what ‘normal’ parents are meant to do.
And it just really hit me that as has always been the case I have to deal with big, hard emotions alone with no safe person to lean on.
I had one of those moments today where I was like ‘I don’t want to be an adult right now, I want a parental figure to come take care of everything, stroke my hair and tell me it’s all going to be okay’. But then I realised I’ve never even had that. I’ve never had a safe figure to come and take away my burdens or tell me it’s okay so it’s no wonder I long for that when I’m having a tough time because we are told from young that that’s what ‘normal’ parents are meant to do.
And it just really hit me that as has always been the case I have to deal with big, hard emotions alone with no safe person to lean on.
RupertTBear
New member
Hi everyone. Last July I posted about my ill sister and toxic relationship with my Dad.
My sister sadly died a few weeks ago and her funeral is next week. Myself and her husband are planning her funeral with a small amount of input from my mum. My Dad has had no input, financially or with planning. I am giving a eulogy as it’s really important to me to do so, my parents said they wanted to write something to be read out by the celebrant but my dad left my mum to write it in the end. He acted appallingly when she was dying in hospital.
I am so mad but know it is wasted on him as he is either too thick or too emotionally unavailable to even be able to understand that I am entitled to expect more from him.
My sister requested we give our packets of wildflower seeds at her funeral so I bought 60 packets and stickers to put on the back with a message from her. I have been at my sister’s house today and wouldn’t have gone round had I known my dad would be there. The pen he is wanting to use isn’t working so he starts scribbling on the back of one of the packets of seeds to make it work. I just lost my shit and started shouting, I was actually really close to calling him a c*nt which I’m not proud of. He told me to ‘calm down, what you shouting for?’ totally invalidating me. Anyway, the purpose of this post is that I am planning to go no contact with him after her funeral, my mother will struggle to respect the boundaries of this as has spent decades sweeping shit parenting under the table.
Thanks for reading x
My sister sadly died a few weeks ago and her funeral is next week. Myself and her husband are planning her funeral with a small amount of input from my mum. My Dad has had no input, financially or with planning. I am giving a eulogy as it’s really important to me to do so, my parents said they wanted to write something to be read out by the celebrant but my dad left my mum to write it in the end. He acted appallingly when she was dying in hospital.
I am so mad but know it is wasted on him as he is either too thick or too emotionally unavailable to even be able to understand that I am entitled to expect more from him.
My sister requested we give our packets of wildflower seeds at her funeral so I bought 60 packets and stickers to put on the back with a message from her. I have been at my sister’s house today and wouldn’t have gone round had I known my dad would be there. The pen he is wanting to use isn’t working so he starts scribbling on the back of one of the packets of seeds to make it work. I just lost my shit and started shouting, I was actually really close to calling him a c*nt which I’m not proud of. He told me to ‘calm down, what you shouting for?’ totally invalidating me. Anyway, the purpose of this post is that I am planning to go no contact with him after her funeral, my mother will struggle to respect the boundaries of this as has spent decades sweeping shit parenting under the table.
Thanks for reading x
Lemonsqueezy123!
Chatty Member
I feel a sense of relief finding this thread as I just feel like I need somebody to talk to.
Growing up my Nanna was more of a mum to me really as my own mum had me quite young. There was always new men around, one memory I have of being quite young was being locked in a room and sprayed with water by one. I’ve never, ever spoken to my mum about any of this.
She met someone and ended up having my brother and sister, love them to absolute pieces. Fast forward a few years and my step brother sexually assaulted me 3 times. I kept it to myself in fear that I’d be seen as trying to cause trouble or break my family up. 5 years ago I ended up reporting it to the police, he was charged, went to trial and was sentenced to 6 years. He’s served half and is due out the first week of December. My mum split up with his dad but he’s known to turn up and try to frighten her and cause trouble.
She’s booked to go to a log cabin with her new boyfriend the week he’s released and wants me to stay at hers to look after my brother and sister and her 3 dogs. I’m 26 now with an 8 month old baby. I’ve asked if she could maybe ask another family member and she’s just bombarding me with reasons why I need to stay. I don’t want to stay in a house where I was raped the same week he’s released and I especially don’t want to stay there with my baby knowing his family could turn up any time. I’m safe at home because they don’t know where I live.
I’m so sorry for such a huge story, it already just feels better writing it down and getting it off my chest
Growing up my Nanna was more of a mum to me really as my own mum had me quite young. There was always new men around, one memory I have of being quite young was being locked in a room and sprayed with water by one. I’ve never, ever spoken to my mum about any of this.
She met someone and ended up having my brother and sister, love them to absolute pieces. Fast forward a few years and my step brother sexually assaulted me 3 times. I kept it to myself in fear that I’d be seen as trying to cause trouble or break my family up. 5 years ago I ended up reporting it to the police, he was charged, went to trial and was sentenced to 6 years. He’s served half and is due out the first week of December. My mum split up with his dad but he’s known to turn up and try to frighten her and cause trouble.
She’s booked to go to a log cabin with her new boyfriend the week he’s released and wants me to stay at hers to look after my brother and sister and her 3 dogs. I’m 26 now with an 8 month old baby. I’ve asked if she could maybe ask another family member and she’s just bombarding me with reasons why I need to stay. I don’t want to stay in a house where I was raped the same week he’s released and I especially don’t want to stay there with my baby knowing his family could turn up any time. I’m safe at home because they don’t know where I live.
I’m so sorry for such a huge story, it already just feels better writing it down and getting it off my chest
childofthe70s
VIP Member
My mum has died today - I cared for her for many years, but was a total narcissit with controlling to mental and emotional abuse. Not sure how I feel about things.
shadowcat5
VIP Member
Once again I’m the horrible person for not doing what they want. I live hours away yet I still get made to feel like I’m the nasty one.
Ablemabel
VIP Member
Absolutely this. It took me years and years to realise that it wasn't that I was a pathetic, awful person as I had been repeatedly told from a small child, rather my mother was a narcissist. It took further time to extract myself from the situation and really it was having kids that helped me see the light. As well as toxic, her behaviour was erratic and my children didn't deserve to be subject to that kind of chaos. I tried grey rock for some considerable time, but I still found that too hard because a narcs skill is to manipulate situations and it's insidious. I went NC almost 5 years ago now. I can't say my anxiety has gone completely, but it has been much better for my mental health.
As said it's really important to put self first.Relationships with narcs can be exceptionally damaging and when it's a parent, you don't realise what's going on for some time, because it's your norm.
buttheyneverblindme8
Well-known member
Reading some of these posts, particularly about narcissistic mothers, make me very grateful that my mother is truly the most patient, caring, gentle and loving mother one could wish for. If you reading this were not afforded that luxury as a child - just know that it wasn't your fault, and that you are not the opinion of someone who never took the time to know you.
But I can relate to those here who write about fathers. My father and I have had an extremely tempestuous relationship over the years. Not necessarily because of anything we've done to each other (although I could write a book on his failings as a parent, and he could mine as a son) - but because we just so happen to have absolutely nothing whatsoever in common other than our personalities. And I tend to find that can go one of two ways: you're either each other's ride or die for life, or you want to impale each other on a railing at any given opportunity. We were the latter.
My father is the most emotionally unavailable man I have ever known. He would give us the silent treatment for (literally) months at a time apart from to grunt one-word answers at us when my Mum and I asked him something, before snapping out of whatever was on his mind with no apology or explanation whatsoever. Of course, he'd be the cheeky chappie whenever we were out with family or friends before the walls would go up the second we were behind closed doors. And who could forget the many classic put-downs I got, like "stop trying to be intelligent, because it just doesn't suit you", or "it's always my fault, isn't it?" "Yes, I noticed that, too."
Nothing I said or did was right as a child. He wanted me to be how he was, and I wanted to be how I am. He was a football nut. I hate it. He was a social butterfly. I'm an introvert who prefers being on his computer. He's the life and soul of the party. I have very few friends through choice. He's into women. I'm not. He sat me down one night and told me - verbatim - "when you bring home someone to meet me, make sure their name is Samantha, not Samuel." To this day he doesn't know I'm gay (although he isn't green - he knows deep down), but this is because I don't consider it his business, not because he's a homophobe (he genuinely isn't; more the type to worry about what his friends would think of "one of the lads" having a gay son). My Mum knows though lol.
I remember literally having to tell him to congratulate me when I excelled in my GCSEs, and watching him nearly strangle my mother to death when I was six (the one and only time he was ever violent, as confirmed by my mother). If I told him I loved him, I got told to "shut up, you poof", so I haven't said it in a decade. He even said I repulsed him in the middle of a packed pub once; when I told my Mum and she confronted him about it, he gaslit me straight to my face and denied he ever said it. I will give my father credit though, as he has genuinely mellowed over the years and is much more open about his faults, flaws and mistakes, and is slowly becoming someone I'm learning to like, maybe even love one day. But the damage has long since been done. He isn't the father I deserved, and I'm not the son he wanted. But in all honesty, I'm finally at a place where I'm OK with that.
Will I be overjoyed when he dies? No. Will I be sad? Who knows.
But I can relate to those here who write about fathers. My father and I have had an extremely tempestuous relationship over the years. Not necessarily because of anything we've done to each other (although I could write a book on his failings as a parent, and he could mine as a son) - but because we just so happen to have absolutely nothing whatsoever in common other than our personalities. And I tend to find that can go one of two ways: you're either each other's ride or die for life, or you want to impale each other on a railing at any given opportunity. We were the latter.
My father is the most emotionally unavailable man I have ever known. He would give us the silent treatment for (literally) months at a time apart from to grunt one-word answers at us when my Mum and I asked him something, before snapping out of whatever was on his mind with no apology or explanation whatsoever. Of course, he'd be the cheeky chappie whenever we were out with family or friends before the walls would go up the second we were behind closed doors. And who could forget the many classic put-downs I got, like "stop trying to be intelligent, because it just doesn't suit you", or "it's always my fault, isn't it?" "Yes, I noticed that, too."
Nothing I said or did was right as a child. He wanted me to be how he was, and I wanted to be how I am. He was a football nut. I hate it. He was a social butterfly. I'm an introvert who prefers being on his computer. He's the life and soul of the party. I have very few friends through choice. He's into women. I'm not. He sat me down one night and told me - verbatim - "when you bring home someone to meet me, make sure their name is Samantha, not Samuel." To this day he doesn't know I'm gay (although he isn't green - he knows deep down), but this is because I don't consider it his business, not because he's a homophobe (he genuinely isn't; more the type to worry about what his friends would think of "one of the lads" having a gay son). My Mum knows though lol.
I remember literally having to tell him to congratulate me when I excelled in my GCSEs, and watching him nearly strangle my mother to death when I was six (the one and only time he was ever violent, as confirmed by my mother). If I told him I loved him, I got told to "shut up, you poof", so I haven't said it in a decade. He even said I repulsed him in the middle of a packed pub once; when I told my Mum and she confronted him about it, he gaslit me straight to my face and denied he ever said it. I will give my father credit though, as he has genuinely mellowed over the years and is much more open about his faults, flaws and mistakes, and is slowly becoming someone I'm learning to like, maybe even love one day. But the damage has long since been done. He isn't the father I deserved, and I'm not the son he wanted. But in all honesty, I'm finally at a place where I'm OK with that.
Will I be overjoyed when he dies? No. Will I be sad? Who knows.
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Rodneytrotter
Chatty Member
I wasn't going to comment on your post as I believe in scrolling past if I don't like something and also I dont particularly like confrontation even if it's online.... But when I saw this response i felt i need to say that it's not really fair to call @Chandler Bing nasty, they are a very supportive member of this thread and to be honest what you've said could be quite triggering to members on here. This thread has always been a safe space for those of us with immature/ narc/ abusive parents.
You've come to this thread and stated that you are having a difficult time with your daughter whilst blaming your husband and now your Catholic parents. At the same time you list the things that you do for your daughter for example completing her books, walking the dogs etc. Personally I am used to having 'after all I've done for you' thrown in my face every time I attempt to stand up for myself or even have a mind of my own. You seem more bothered about whether you are a narc or not which is irrelevant as your daughter obviously still has issue with you whatever your label.
I don't wish to discuss your situation or have a back and forth, but I'm wondering if maybe you'd be better of with a thread for parents who are having a difficult time with their adult children? You might find like minded people and advice more suited to your situation.
call.me.coco
Chatty Member
This is exactly what i’m doing.
My mum often told us that she regrets having kids and that my youngest brother was a ‘mistake’. How we have stopped her from having a career. Our home was filthy, I was too embarrassed to ever have friends over. My achievements were dismissed and I was mocked for working hard. She never hugged us or told us that she loved us. Only when I married my husband who had a ‘normal’ home environment did it really hit me how broken my upbringing was.
cosytoes
Active member
I’m beginning to wonder if I’m in the wrong or I’m just surrounded by narcissists.
A family member is critically ill in hospital he was doing ok up until this morning and then he took a turn for the worse.
How did I find out? By a woe is me post on Facebook documenting everything including the doctors have told his wife to prepare for the worst.
Not his wife posting on Facebook I might add but another random relative who is revelling in all the “I’m thinking of you” and “stay strong” comments.
I really can’t comprehend on what planet people think it’s ok to post about someone else’s personal situation just for a like or a comment.
Im surrounded by narcissists
A family member is critically ill in hospital he was doing ok up until this morning and then he took a turn for the worse.
How did I find out? By a woe is me post on Facebook documenting everything including the doctors have told his wife to prepare for the worst.
Not his wife posting on Facebook I might add but another random relative who is revelling in all the “I’m thinking of you” and “stay strong” comments.
I really can’t comprehend on what planet people think it’s ok to post about someone else’s personal situation just for a like or a comment.
Im surrounded by narcissists
First time posting here, have been reading through your posts. I can relate to lots of you and wanted to say I see you and see how absolutely shit it is having narc and emotionally immature parents.
I’ve been NC with my mum for nearly 18 years, I moved away to uni and our relationship broke down when I realised how toxic it was. I’d always been fed and had clean clothes so didn’t think you could call it abuse but now many years on and after seeking therapy, I now understand she’s a narc and it was.
My relationship with my Dad has always just bumbled along (my parents divorced when I was young) he never knew the full extent of what went on but knew it wasn’t good. In recent years my relationship with him has broken down due to his emotional immaturity and we are now pretty much NC.
I just feel so sad sometimes that the two people who are meant to love and protect you more than anyone else in the world can fail so miserably and cause so much emotional hurt and damage. For most of my life I’ve been able to carry on and feel like I can cope with this shit situation but since I’ve had my own kids it’s cracked open a lot of wounds.
I’ve been NC with my mum for nearly 18 years, I moved away to uni and our relationship broke down when I realised how toxic it was. I’d always been fed and had clean clothes so didn’t think you could call it abuse but now many years on and after seeking therapy, I now understand she’s a narc and it was.
My relationship with my Dad has always just bumbled along (my parents divorced when I was young) he never knew the full extent of what went on but knew it wasn’t good. In recent years my relationship with him has broken down due to his emotional immaturity and we are now pretty much NC.
I just feel so sad sometimes that the two people who are meant to love and protect you more than anyone else in the world can fail so miserably and cause so much emotional hurt and damage. For most of my life I’ve been able to carry on and feel like I can cope with this shit situation but since I’ve had my own kids it’s cracked open a lot of wounds.