21, maddie should want to escape by now!?
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She has got an easy life there, doesn't have to go to work to pay her own way and they let her do whatever she wants and they pay for it. He is her personal taxi service, takes her and her mates out and her mother pays for her holidays - why would she want to leave.
True. Plus, daddy's experiment left Moodie with zero GCSEs, which makes it difficult for her to get a well paid job or even enrol on many courses. She wouldn't be able to even pay 5 minutes' rent off the back of her 'singing' voice, either. They've spoiled her in so many ways.
because it’s obvious she has had enough of Nadia.
Best gift parents can give their children is equipping them with the skills for independent living.
Failure in that household.
But nevermind they can all like each others nuddie,drinking and pity posts, daddy has a cheerleader and as a "creative" family , it's cool to be a useless layabout
.
Failure in that household.
But nevermind they can all like each others nuddie,drinking and pity posts, daddy has a cheerleader and as a "creative" family , it's cool to be a useless layabout
.Thank you bitterntwisted for having a hundred times the creativity, stamina and humour of Mark Adderley.Mark has the gall to say that their Xmas is all about Dina and Nadia and nothing about the 2 of them.
The door goes. "Is that him already?" Mark asks. No, it's Dina. Same thing.
Oh shut-up Dina, constantly coming around in here, telling us what to do!
Vlogmas sounds utterly dire but not as bad as when I last put myself through it in 2020. Back then it consisted of 24 days of b*tching about the loft, pre-amphetamines Nadia hoovering up a counterful of canapes and mainlining the booze until she was horizontal, plus the 'hilarious' spectacle of Mark Adderley repeatedly jumping out of corners scaring the women in the house. Followed by Mark Adderley repeatedly jumping out of corners scaring the women in the house in slow motion.
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Vlogmas #10 "Cracks Appear Between Nadia & Dina; Mark Has Red Wine Regret & Xmas Supermarket Sweep!" Why does he use semicolons when a comma is the correct punctuation? Gingerbread men.
Mark has a new jumper. It is Keanu Reeves as Jesus holding a dog. "Wishing you a very Keanu Christmas." He has his elf hat doing the Wheels on the Bus" in spoken word form. He goes out the door to the car. He brings in some logs, mumbles something about axe murderers at Christmas. Delightful. Whispers about blood getting cut off at the midriff. "Its said medium." For a teen maybe. "Oh My God, I just realized something. I've got red wine lips. I probably snogged someone at the party." He doing some kind of dreams sequence thing with some woman spinning like a top and pole dancing superimposed over Mark's stupid face. Uggh, he is being that annoying elf, saying he did a swapsy with one of Snow White's friends. 
Just when you think it won't get any worse, he is dad dancing. OH THE HUMANITY!
Mark goes upstairs. He hasn't taken the tag off his elf hat. Into the walk-in, Nadia is having a meeting about the chalet with Dina on the phone. As my departed grandfather would have said, "It's a right midden in 'ere!" Mark calls Dina's laugh "one of a bleeping Bond villian." Mark says not to show Dina the room, because of the mess. He asks Dina about plans for the chalet and she tells him none of his business "up your bottom." Mark mentions something about elf grim all over the camera, "general femaleness." Dina says it's castor oil. Nadia is busy putting her mascara on and says all of what they are talking about has nothing to do with him, the view for the chalet and the various events they are holding. Mark wants an example and she says "No, no, you will either be invited or you won't."
Mark says he got them new logs this morning and Nadia is excited. "Aw, thanks babe. Now can you bugger off, because we're having a meeting." Mark says the chalet is not a tardis "It's a gateway to the shithole of a house."
You know you shoud be grateful you have a roof over your slacker-arse head, many don't, just go down the streets of London or visit Gaza. It wouldn't be a shithole if the 2 of you would grow the eff up and get the place sorted out. I am back to really hating Mark after last night's blip. Nadia says Father Christmas might come. Why? To put coal in Mark's stocking? "There might be a party. Simone is coming on Wednesday and she is bringing her full German outfit." Who is Simone? Nadia tells Dina that Mark built the bedside table. "Of course he did, he's a bloke" says Dina. He pans the camera to the loft, then he earwigs at the door with monkey sound effects going off. "Did I hear something about concrete?" Nads and Dina say yes they are working out the concrete. Down the stairs and Mark tells Toffee she is his only hope, like she gives a damn and growls.
Nadia comes down the stairs in her wet hair to say she read an article the other day. It was about ADHD and something called piling. "Our whole house is a whole, is a whole load of different piles of stuff." Mark says she does and she counters with a don't make me show them your room. We get a glimpse and it is not pretty. She mentions the logs and thanks him. Nadia says they ordered their view from Light in a Box and promptly says don't order from them, "because they said it was going to come on the 2nd of December when we ordered it, and then when you get the order for tracking, it is tracking from December the 2nd to December the 12th." Is she high? Everybody knows that they can't guarantee anything during December. Nadia says they are probably going to get the chalet finished. Nadia points out the glass cabinet in the kitchen and calls it "a situation." Mark says it can go in the other room. Nadia suggests putting "key pieces" in the cabinet for baubles and glittery tit (my words). Mark says one of othe two trees goes there. Nadia says what trees? Mark says they are not not having trees. Nadia mentions to Mark his jumper is too small and he is not wearing that out. Why does he keep wearing it? He can get exchanged surely.
There's somebody at the door, there's somebody at the door. It's Dina. Mark asks her if she likes his jumper and she says no. She doesn't like Keanu, but she does, "I don't want him on a top." "Fuckin 'ell, Merry Christmas!" says Mark. Dina has bells and Mark says his balls do that all the time. Do your boys hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow? Dina is happy with the logs and tells Nadia the tree needs watering. TIME TO GIVE UP!!! Faerie dancing time. Mark is in the laundry room to get the bed frame out. Mark does an action replay of Nadia falling over the box. Mark feebly pulls and pushes the box out. The plan is to half make the bed frame in the teen room, because there is more room. Mark drops the box on his foot and a big production number out of it. "Babe you cawn't make a bed in bits" Mark tells her. One of the girls bought a hair slide and in it is a fly. Mark mentions opening it and extracting its DNA. "Mark, just get on with the bed first and then let's worry about extracting DNA from flies." Nadia yells at the camera if she is ready for a medal and if anyone wants to swap husband. Zoe might have a go.
"Are any of your husbands good with DIY?" Mark tells her to shut-up. "It's sometime later and he has almost got the box open, ha, ha, ha!" Nadia tells him it is the same bed as Kiki's and he has made it before. "I've made a bed every bleeping Xmas for 4 years!" Language and blasphemy. Merry Xmas. Nadia lectures us on how Mark will be able to do this, muscle memory and what not. Mark belches. She is giving him "a solid hour." Zoe gets a shout out from Nadia. Mark pulls out a smaller box and says how boring this is. Imagine how we feel watching this. 
He opens the box and moans about Allen keys.
More bitching and moaning about this bed frame and legs for the bed. He leaves the teen hovel to the kitchen, where they are talking about gleeking. Gleeking is when your saliva sprays out of your mouth and Mark says he is one of those people who can do it on command. Ah, gross. "MAAARK! GO AWAY!" He says he can't stop gleeking. She tells him to get on with making that bed frame. Nadia accused Mark of eating all the dates when he was only to have a couple. He tells her to open the box and there are 6. Mark shows us the hair slide with the fly baked into it. Gross. "Don't tell Cruella Braverman, she will send it to Rwanda." Maddie says she has seen the racy Advent calendar, when she went to use deodorant. "Why does it stop at 12, it's so random." Maybe if Maddie got a decent education, she might have known about the 12 days of Xmas.
Mark has his case of Allen keys and there is 1 missing. Nadia says it is probably in the room where he last did up a bed. "Are you trying to say wherever Iay my bed is my home?" He gets a laugh out of Nadia for that one. Nadia tells Mark she really doesn't want to go to Sainsbury's with him looking like that. "You're embarassing!" Maddie shouts "Neither do I!" She is worried that someone is going to come up to her and ask if she is Nadia Sawalha off the telly. He tells her to put a hat on. "Anything that can hold that enormous head!" He puts on the hamster jumper and she says that is even more people are going to notice him. She wants a normal jumper, he says it's Xmas. Mark tells Maddie he has the hamster top on and that if she was 6 she would have loved it. "But dad I'm not 6, I'm 20." Mark chats with Maddie about a wombat website. Mark suggests reindeer antlers and she says she will be highlighting herself. He tells her "You highlight yourself as soon as you open your mouth." Mark says Nanny Di has 3 requests and Nadia says she probably has it on the list fizzy water, biscuits..."Rubicon" to which Nadia says she's 4. That's a bit disrespectful. Mince pies and sweetners. Yeuk, sweetners. "Mum, you're a crack addict!"
Dad dancing snowman in the bauble. In the car, Mark sudden bolts out of the car saying when you got to rut, you got to rut. He runs over to the park, to a tree to start bashing his antlers into it. A passerby looks confused. Back in the care and Nadia tells him he has frightened people. "That man was not laughing at all" says Maddie and Nadia says "He thought you were a pervert." Well he is, let's be frank. "So the girls are embarassed, I don't know why." Nadia looks stunned and says "I think they wonder how the hell I put up with you." Talk about drawing attention to one's self at Sainbury's. A familar face comes towards the camera, past security to say "Wot you doin in 'ere?" IT'S DINA! She's got some veg. Nadia tells Dina the girls are in here and she says she knows, "I yelled "Yo witches!'" There are in the alcoholic beveraaaage section. Off shopping now, a box of easy peelers. Mark sees goose fat and Nadia says no, even though he wants it to put on something. Chats to the camera about Nadia being bah humbug. She gets some red peppers and starts singing. I bet the girls can hear her from the other side of the store. Look over the freezer section with their carvery selections. She thinks about picking up one. Mark shakes his head and the sleigh bells sound effect goes off. "Did you hear that Nads?" "NO." Mark finds the Radio Times to circle things in. A look at the sausages on offer. Mark asks why people go for sausages at Xmas. Nadia thinks people feel guilty eating them abut at Xmas they say "duck it!" Nadia is dancing in the fridge aisle as there is Xmas music playing. Mark fiddles with his sound board again. "Everywhere I look, there's Dina" muscling in says Mark and he shakes his jingle bell head.
Mark asks why people get salmon at Xmas and Nadia says because it is special and expensive. Mark tells her she has a red nose. Dina shows them a 5 pack (Aren't they usually 6?) of Walker's Xmas pudding crisps. Nadia is disgusted and says Mark is going to want them. Mark says this is the meaning of Xmas and pulls off the shelve a strawberry trifle. Nadia says it's not festive. Piss off Nads! Nadia picks up the Xmas Lurpak and it has shrunk. Mark picks up the gingerbread dough and says he is going to recreate their old flat with Di. Nadia picks up some puff pastry. Mark finds some chicken corn dogs, cheese and bacon potato skins. "Quiche? I HATE QUICHE!" says Mark. I doubt it's fond of you either. "Rudolph Noses!" They are olives with red peppers. Nadia is intrigues by the mini shawarma wraps. "Who would have thought we'd get to that place, where shawarma would be put out for Christmas?" If it's not tight, it's not right. Don't mind me. I'm just laughing about a shawarma chain in Toronto and that is the proprietor's tag line. "No ketchup on zee shawarma!" Bao Buns of Holly. Szechuan chicken wing lollipops. "Okay, can we go look at the mince pies, I'm bored" says Mark. "NADS! NUTS!" He rattles a bag of walnuts. Walnuts are the worse when you get a bad one. That and when they cut your mouth. Jacob's Festive Selection. Nads says she has always loved that. Mark shakes his head again and Nadia just plasters on a Stepford Wife smile.
"Oh look Nads! Look! Now you're talking!" He has found the cheese selection-mature Blue Stilton with ginger and cranberries. The price of cheese is outrageous. They want 9 something dollars for a small wedge of brie, piss off! Mark says if you buy this stuff now, you eat it now, just like with the Nutella and then he realizes he has let the cat out of the proverbial bag. Nadia just looks at him sternly and then walks away. He is in the alcohol section where he sees Cockburn's Special Reserve Port and he starts smirking and laughing like the overgrown schoolboy he is. They just get the Sainsbury's brand mince pies for Di and Nadia starts singing la, la, la, as she swings her legs about, behind the trolley, drawing attention to herself. They pick up a box of Urban Legend Doughnuts, less naughty "with a source of fibre?" Nadia looks at the Xmas jumper selection and suggest one for Di. "Oh there she is again!" Dina walks by and sticks out her tongue. Dina points out a Star Wars top and Mark says that Star Wars has lost its way. "It was never on my way" says Dina. There are more Xmas knick knacks-some squirrels and nuts-cue the overgrown schoolboy. "As a recovering alcoholic..." Parmesan and garlic twists and they do a goofy photo in the aisle. "I feel so smug, I already got the girls their Advent calendars." Go to the top of the class Mark. Kiki opened day 2 by the 30th of November. Nada says she is a rebel "just like her parents." 
Nice joke Nadia. Down the chocolate aisle now, Ferraro Rocher, Guylain. Mark picks up some watermellon jellies and says he thinks of Di as his fifth child.
Speaking of children, "Nads, Nads, it says Cockburn's over there." She starts laughing. "Can we go and see it?" Oh my, I have never see so many mince pies stacked up high in my life. Mark tells us the good sigs of a Xmas cake is when you hit someone on the head with it, does it leave a bruise or break the skin? Mark looks through the Xmas chutney, posh stuffing, bread sauce. He leaves the bread sauce languishing on the shelf with wine. I hate people doing that. Nadia says she can make her own panetone, slice it and make it look like a Xmas tree, except it's a pandoro not panetone. Mark talks about kissing a Xmas pud, the weirdo. Back in the booze section, looking at the Armagnac. Then Mark spies Sainsbury's own festive coffe pods. Do you miss Nadia bitching about how mean her mother was? We are at the Cheeselets display and she says her mother never bought them. The girls catch up with them and tell Mark there is a big Babybell and off he goes. He finds it. Almond cakes from Tuscany and Nadia says she could eat all of them and she will make some. Yes to the first and doubt it to the last comment. Baby reindeer mini rolls. Some Mr. Kipling's Xmas slices for Di. They are tired and go to the check-out. Mark says the lady at the till said he won "the best prize for bringing a smile to everyone's faces and that's what I do at Christmas...especially when I do this." Cue the fart noise. Dancing Santas.
Upstairs and Di is here "Hiii Suuubbbss!" Spying on the sisters as they discuss the chalet. Nadia does an impression of Dina "It'll look like a bag of sheeet." Dina "So where am I going next?" Mark yells "HOME!" He asks "Who the duck are you doing this for?" Nadia tells him to butt out. Nadia has a bizarre idea of covering the wall at the landing with the log paper, OVER THE PICTURES AND OVER THE WINDOW.
Mark gives them his unsolicited opinion and Nadia tells him his problem is that he is always earwigging. "Sometimes creative people have to spread out wide to come back in." Mark: "Well that explains your wardrobe." More yammering about the chalet and Marks says he sense fissures. Nadia comes around to the living room with the white curtains on a pole. Mark says to Chi Chi what a load of rubbish and this Vlog finishes with a belch in my ears. Thanks a lot asswipe.
Mark has a new jumper. It is Keanu Reeves as Jesus holding a dog. "Wishing you a very Keanu Christmas." He has his elf hat doing the Wheels on the Bus" in spoken word form. He goes out the door to the car. He brings in some logs, mumbles something about axe murderers at Christmas. Delightful. Whispers about blood getting cut off at the midriff. "Its said medium." For a teen maybe. "Oh My God, I just realized something. I've got red wine lips. I probably snogged someone at the party."
He doing some kind of dreams sequence thing with some woman spinning like a top and pole dancing superimposed over Mark's stupid face. Uggh, he is being that annoying elf, saying he did a swapsy with one of Snow White's friends. Just when you think it won't get any worse, he is dad dancing. OH THE HUMANITY! Mark goes upstairs. He hasn't taken the tag off his elf hat. Into the walk-in, Nadia is having a meeting about the chalet with Dina on the phone. As my departed grandfather would have said, "It's a right midden in 'ere!" Mark calls Dina's laugh "one of a bleeping Bond villian." Mark says not to show Dina the room, because of the mess. He asks Dina about plans for the chalet and she tells him none of his business "up your bottom." Mark mentions something about elf grim all over the camera, "general femaleness." Dina says it's castor oil. Nadia is busy putting her mascara on and says all of what they are talking about has nothing to do with him, the view for the chalet and the various events they are holding. Mark wants an example and she says "No, no, you will either be invited or you won't."
Mark says he got them new logs this morning and Nadia is excited. "Aw, thanks babe. Now can you bugger off, because we're having a meeting." Mark says the chalet is not a tardis "It's a gateway to the shithole of a house."
You know you shoud be grateful you have a roof over your slacker-arse head, many don't, just go down the streets of London or visit Gaza. It wouldn't be a shithole if the 2 of you would grow the eff up and get the place sorted out. I am back to really hating Mark after last night's blip. Nadia says Father Christmas might come. Why? To put coal in Mark's stocking? "There might be a party. Simone is coming on Wednesday and she is bringing her full German outfit." Who is Simone? Nadia tells Dina that Mark built the bedside table. "Of course he did, he's a bloke" says Dina. He pans the camera to the loft, then he earwigs at the door with monkey sound effects going off. "Did I hear something about concrete?" Nads and Dina say yes they are working out the concrete. Down the stairs and Mark tells Toffee she is his only hope, like she gives a damn and growls.Nadia comes down the stairs in her wet hair to say she read an article the other day. It was about ADHD and something called piling. "Our whole house is a whole, is a whole load of different piles of stuff." Mark says she does and she counters with a don't make me show them your room. We get a glimpse and it is not pretty. She mentions the logs and thanks him. Nadia says they ordered their view from Light in a Box and promptly says don't order from them, "because they said it was going to come on the 2nd of December when we ordered it, and then when you get the order for tracking, it is tracking from December the 2nd to December the 12th." Is she high? Everybody knows that they can't guarantee anything during December. Nadia says they are probably going to get the chalet finished. Nadia points out the glass cabinet in the kitchen and calls it "a situation." Mark says it can go in the other room. Nadia suggests putting "key pieces" in the cabinet for baubles and glittery tit (my words). Mark says one of othe two trees goes there. Nadia says what trees? Mark says they are not not having trees. Nadia mentions to Mark his jumper is too small and he is not wearing that out. Why does he keep wearing it? He can get exchanged surely.
There's somebody at the door, there's somebody at the door. It's Dina. Mark asks her if she likes his jumper and she says no. She doesn't like Keanu, but she does, "I don't want him on a top." "Fuckin 'ell, Merry Christmas!" says Mark. Dina has bells and Mark says his balls do that all the time. Do your boys hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow? Dina is happy with the logs and tells Nadia the tree needs watering. TIME TO GIVE UP!!! Faerie dancing time. Mark is in the laundry room to get the bed frame out. Mark does an action replay of Nadia falling over the box. Mark feebly pulls and pushes the box out. The plan is to half make the bed frame in the teen room, because there is more room. Mark drops the box on his foot and a big production number out of it. "Babe you cawn't make a bed in bits" Mark tells her. One of the girls bought a hair slide and in it is a fly. Mark mentions opening it and extracting its DNA. "Mark, just get on with the bed first and then let's worry about extracting DNA from flies." Nadia yells at the camera if she is ready for a medal and if anyone wants to swap husband. Zoe might have a go.
"Are any of your husbands good with DIY?" Mark tells her to shut-up. "It's sometime later and he has almost got the box open, ha, ha, ha!" Nadia tells him it is the same bed as Kiki's and he has made it before. "I've made a bed every bleeping Xmas for 4 years!" Language and blasphemy. Merry Xmas. Nadia lectures us on how Mark will be able to do this, muscle memory and what not. Mark belches. She is giving him "a solid hour." Zoe gets a shout out from Nadia. Mark pulls out a smaller box and says how boring this is. Imagine how we feel watching this. He opens the box and moans about Allen keys. More bitching and moaning about this bed frame and legs for the bed. He leaves the teen hovel to the kitchen, where they are talking about gleeking. Gleeking is when your saliva sprays out of your mouth and Mark says he is one of those people who can do it on command. Ah, gross. "MAAARK! GO AWAY!" He says he can't stop gleeking. She tells him to get on with making that bed frame. Nadia accused Mark of eating all the dates when he was only to have a couple. He tells her to open the box and there are 6. Mark shows us the hair slide with the fly baked into it. Gross. "Don't tell Cruella Braverman, she will send it to Rwanda."
Maddie says she has seen the racy Advent calendar, when she went to use deodorant. "Why does it stop at 12, it's so random." Maybe if Maddie got a decent education, she might have known about the 12 days of Xmas. Mark has his case of Allen keys and there is 1 missing. Nadia says it is probably in the room where he last did up a bed. "Are you trying to say wherever Iay my bed is my home?" He gets a laugh out of Nadia for that one. Nadia tells Mark she really doesn't want to go to Sainsbury's with him looking like that. "You're embarassing!" Maddie shouts "Neither do I!" She is worried that someone is going to come up to her and ask if she is Nadia Sawalha off the telly. He tells her to put a hat on. "Anything that can hold that enormous head!" He puts on the hamster jumper and she says that is even more people are going to notice him. She wants a normal jumper, he says it's Xmas. Mark tells Maddie he has the hamster top on and that if she was 6 she would have loved it. "But dad I'm not 6, I'm 20." Mark chats with Maddie about a wombat website. Mark suggests reindeer antlers and she says she will be highlighting herself. He tells her "You highlight yourself as soon as you open your mouth."
Mark says Nanny Di has 3 requests and Nadia says she probably has it on the list fizzy water, biscuits..."Rubicon" to which Nadia says she's 4. That's a bit disrespectful. Mince pies and sweetners. Yeuk, sweetners. "Mum, you're a crack addict!" Dad dancing snowman in the bauble. In the car, Mark sudden bolts out of the car saying when you got to rut, you got to rut. He runs over to the park, to a tree to start bashing his antlers into it. A passerby looks confused. Back in the care and Nadia tells him he has frightened people. "That man was not laughing at all" says Maddie and Nadia says "He thought you were a pervert." Well he is, let's be frank. "So the girls are embarassed, I don't know why." Nadia looks stunned and says "I think they wonder how the hell I put up with you." Talk about drawing attention to one's self at Sainbury's. A familar face comes towards the camera, past security to say "Wot you doin in 'ere?" IT'S DINA! She's got some veg. Nadia tells Dina the girls are in here and she says she knows, "I yelled "Yo witches!'"
There are in the alcoholic beveraaaage section. Off shopping now, a box of easy peelers. Mark sees goose fat and Nadia says no, even though he wants it to put on something. Chats to the camera about Nadia being bah humbug. She gets some red peppers and starts singing. I bet the girls can hear her from the other side of the store. Look over the freezer section with their carvery selections. She thinks about picking up one. Mark shakes his head and the sleigh bells sound effect goes off. "Did you hear that Nads?" "NO." Mark finds the Radio Times to circle things in. A look at the sausages on offer. Mark asks why people go for sausages at Xmas. Nadia thinks people feel guilty eating them abut at Xmas they say "duck it!" Nadia is dancing in the fridge aisle as there is Xmas music playing. Mark fiddles with his sound board again. "Everywhere I look, there's Dina" muscling in says Mark and he shakes his jingle bell head. Mark asks why people get salmon at Xmas and Nadia says because it is special and expensive. Mark tells her she has a red nose. Dina shows them a 5 pack (Aren't they usually 6?) of Walker's Xmas pudding crisps. Nadia is disgusted and says Mark is going to want them. Mark says this is the meaning of Xmas and pulls off the shelve a strawberry trifle. Nadia says it's not festive. Piss off Nads! Nadia picks up the Xmas Lurpak and it has shrunk. Mark picks up the gingerbread dough and says he is going to recreate their old flat with Di. Nadia picks up some puff pastry. Mark finds some chicken corn dogs, cheese and bacon potato skins. "Quiche? I HATE QUICHE!" says Mark. I doubt it's fond of you either.
"Rudolph Noses!" They are olives with red peppers. Nadia is intrigues by the mini shawarma wraps. "Who would have thought we'd get to that place, where shawarma would be put out for Christmas?" If it's not tight, it's not right. Don't mind me. I'm just laughing about a shawarma chain in Toronto and that is the proprietor's tag line. "No ketchup on zee shawarma!" Bao Buns of Holly. Szechuan chicken wing lollipops. "Okay, can we go look at the mince pies, I'm bored" says Mark. "NADS! NUTS!" He rattles a bag of walnuts. Walnuts are the worse when you get a bad one. That and when they cut your mouth. Jacob's Festive Selection. Nads says she has always loved that. Mark shakes his head again and Nadia just plasters on a Stepford Wife smile. "Oh look Nads! Look! Now you're talking!" He has found the cheese selection-mature Blue Stilton with ginger and cranberries. The price of cheese is outrageous. They want 9 something dollars for a small wedge of brie, piss off! Mark says if you buy this stuff now, you eat it now, just like with the Nutella and then he realizes he has let the cat out of the proverbial bag. Nadia just looks at him sternly and then walks away. He is in the alcohol section where he sees Cockburn's Special Reserve Port and he starts smirking and laughing like the overgrown schoolboy he is. They just get the Sainsbury's brand mince pies for Di and Nadia starts singing la, la, la, as she swings her legs about, behind the trolley, drawing attention to herself. They pick up a box of Urban Legend Doughnuts, less naughty "with a source of fibre?" Nadia looks at the Xmas jumper selection and suggest one for Di. "Oh there she is again!" Dina walks by and sticks out her tongue. Dina points out a Star Wars top and Mark says that Star Wars has lost its way. "It was never on my way" says Dina. There are more Xmas knick knacks-some squirrels and nuts-cue the overgrown schoolboy. "As a recovering alcoholic..."
Parmesan and garlic twists and they do a goofy photo in the aisle. "I feel so smug, I already got the girls their Advent calendars." Go to the top of the class Mark. Kiki opened day 2 by the 30th of November. Nada says she is a rebel "just like her parents." Nice joke Nadia. Down the chocolate aisle now, Ferraro Rocher, Guylain. Mark picks up some watermellon jellies and says he thinks of Di as his fifth child. Speaking of children, "Nads, Nads, it says Cockburn's over there." She starts laughing. "Can we go and see it?" Oh my, I have never see so many mince pies stacked up high in my life. Mark tells us the good sigs of a Xmas cake is when you hit someone on the head with it, does it leave a bruise or break the skin?
Mark looks through the Xmas chutney, posh stuffing, bread sauce. He leaves the bread sauce languishing on the shelf with wine. I hate people doing that. Nadia says she can make her own panetone, slice it and make it look like a Xmas tree, except it's a pandoro not panetone. Mark talks about kissing a Xmas pud, the weirdo. Back in the booze section, looking at the Armagnac. Then Mark spies Sainsbury's own festive coffe pods. Do you miss Nadia bitching about how mean her mother was? We are at the Cheeselets display and she says her mother never bought them. The girls catch up with them and tell Mark there is a big Babybell and off he goes. He finds it. Almond cakes from Tuscany and Nadia says she could eat all of them and she will make some. Yes to the first and doubt it to the last comment. Baby reindeer mini rolls. Some Mr. Kipling's Xmas slices for Di. They are tired and go to the check-out. Mark says the lady at the till said he won "the best prize for bringing a smile to everyone's faces and that's what I do at Christmas...especially when I do this." Cue the fart noise. Dancing Santas.Upstairs and Di is here "Hiii Suuubbbss!" Spying on the sisters as they discuss the chalet. Nadia does an impression of Dina "It'll look like a bag of sheeet." Dina "So where am I going next?" Mark yells "HOME!" He asks "Who the duck are you doing this for?" Nadia tells him to butt out. Nadia has a bizarre idea of covering the wall at the landing with the log paper, OVER THE PICTURES AND OVER THE WINDOW.
Mark gives them his unsolicited opinion and Nadia tells him his problem is that he is always earwigging. "Sometimes creative people have to spread out wide to come back in." Mark: "Well that explains your wardrobe." More yammering about the chalet and Marks says he sense fissures. Nadia comes around to the living room with the white curtains on a pole. Mark says to Chi Chi what a load of rubbish and this Vlog finishes with a belch in my ears. Thanks a lot asswipe.
I still don’t understand why it takes them the whole of December to finish putting up their decorations. Why is the log cabin becoming a month long project - surely it would have been better to have started it in November to be complete in time for December? That log cabin will stay like that for months after Christmas because they’ll be too lazy to take it all down.
Sorry to ask a random question, but did they ever acknowledge that her parents came home from Jordan in the spring and hadn't Just gone there for the winter months?
I assume they have gone back to Jordan now? But does Nadia just pretend they no longer live next door for half the year?
I assume they have gone back to Jordan now? But does Nadia just pretend they no longer live next door for half the year?
What do you think ?
Let’s have a poll.
Manky is having a massive huff ?
He was over zealous with the visiting ladies and there has been a blow up row when they left?
His selfie stick has snapped?
He got locked in the wee ghostbusters room?
He’s doing panto in Skegness as the scarecrow out of the wizard of Oz?
His menopause patch hasn’t turned up?
The Academy has flown him in to promote the Oscars?
He’s necked 5 bottles of Baileys and a jar of Nutella?
The internet is no longer suppling graphic T-shirts to men over 50?
Nitty threatened to straighten her hair again?
There are so many variables
You decide
Let’s have a poll.
Manky is having a massive huff ?
He was over zealous with the visiting ladies and there has been a blow up row when they left?
His selfie stick has snapped?
He got locked in the wee ghostbusters room?
He’s doing panto in Skegness as the scarecrow out of the wizard of Oz?
His menopause patch hasn’t turned up?
The Academy has flown him in to promote the Oscars?
He’s necked 5 bottles of Baileys and a jar of Nutella?
The internet is no longer suppling graphic T-shirts to men over 50?
Nitty threatened to straighten her hair again?
There are so many variables
You decide
I'm about 6/7 episodes into boremass.
Having watched Dina staple some tit wallpaper/wrapping paper? to the walls I can't for the life of me work out why art by box wasn't the international success she so desperately wanted it to be
Having watched Dina staple some tit wallpaper/wrapping paper? to the walls I can't for the life of me work out why art by box wasn't the international success she so desperately wanted it to be
Whilst the idea of Mark Adderley on a first class ticket to LA tickled me, I reckon that he's unable to keep up with the pace of Vlogmas despite being an editor extraordinaire.
So, he's pretending to be sick. Again. Classic him.
We've worked in eight schools in the past fortnight with steaming colds; there's ridiculous amount of sickness about but we're all powering through to the end of term. This is why Mark Adderley is unemployed, he's simply incapable of fulfilling a basic brief.Here's hoping his latest malaise brings The Sawalha-
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As a teacher, I would love to know what her school/ headteacher thinks of her.
This misguided 'feminist' rant (Time stamp 14:40) from Nadia Sawalha makes me think Dina was sacked by her "horrible boss" from being
As Dina isn't qualified and independent schools can appoint at their own discretion, I reckon they originally took on a Sawalha for the kudos of a celebrity association. A little bit like Nardia scoring a job on Eastenders. In return, they've dragged the Sawalha name into the mud.
I was thinking exactly the same.
Vlogmas #11 Mark goes full Amercian with this title "Dina & Nadia's MOM Reacts to Chalet; Nadia Mocks Mark's DIY: Mark Inches Closer to the Loft." So sad to hear Mark is under the weather, but that means I might be able to catch up on these Vlogs. Let the gingerbread men dance!
Nadia starts off the vlog in a dark foyer. Dina is sorting out the curtains. They have their winter scen window that needs afixing to the wall. One minute into this vlog is an ad break.
Nadia is trying to take a pic of Dina putting up the winter scene. "Why can't I turn this round?" Dina says "It's because you're an idiot." Mark's hyena laugh pierces my ear. Nadia has Betty on the phone. Betty asks if they been on the champagne. "No we bloody haven't!" Nadia asks Dina how to turn the screen round. "FLICK IT!' Nadia shows Betty the downstairs and she says "Wow! Oh my God, you did it! What's that on the wall?" Dina says wallpaper. Betty says that they have beaten Mark into a pulp. I wish. 
Mark yells NO! Betty asks about the village. Dina says it is gone and Nadia says no more village. Nadia shows Betty and Big Ted the other chalet paraphenalia. Mark wanders off to tell us that the snow village is not dead and that it will be displayed on the piano, all over the side of the living room. Good God man, give it up! He says everyone is #Mark and that he knows where the fun is buttered on. Dina is starting to paper the window and pictures in the hall landing. Mark screams that Toffee is the only one who is going to see that. Mark whispers to the camera "They are really bleeping me off now." Good! He sits and seethes.
Dina has one sheet up already. She then moves Toffee's bed off the landing and Mark gets all shrill "You're moving Toffee's bed!" Dina just laughs. "You're letting her run riot!" His shrill squeeky voice is hurting my eardrums. "I'll tell you what Mark, you better not tear any of this when you bring the trees down." Dina says their walls are too wonky. Dina starts playing the cow bells. Mark actually likes that. "It make me think of little lost cows." Mark asks if she is going to put up a Nordic flag. Switzerland and Austria aren't Nordic countries you nimrod! Dina is screwing in something under the stairs. "Get out of my zone." Mark says " I know what that sound means. Structural damage. Structural damage for temporary bleeping fun." Dina laughs her laugh. Nadia says they might keep that up. "No you're not." Mark says he has to see it every 6 mins he needs the toilet. He might want to see a urologist for that issue. He claims last night when he came downstairs, he thought he was in "The Guns of Navarone." I doubt there was a chalet in that movie. "I thought Peter Cushing was going to come out of the toilet."
"Interestingly, the girls love it." Mark says they are just saying that to humour them. "They're tit scared of their Auntie Dina." Dina hangs the mini stockings under the stairs and Nadia says don't put it up where we knock our heads on it. Dina tells her to shut-up. Nadia sits on the bench where they are going to talk about food and gluehwein. Mr. Almost Ph.D doesn't know what gluehwein is. Mark witches about losing wifi, they have hidden it under a gingam able with a milk pail over it. Dina's got the cable ties as they discuss the skis. Knock at the door and Mark hopes it's the police to take them away. Dina opens the door and it's a delivery.
Mark farts. Dina seaches for her knife as "If the knife is gone, the game is over." Dina goes to sort out the logs. TIME FOR DINA TO GO!!! Dancing faerie time. They've got snowflake lights going on the ceiling now. "The subs are going to love this" says Nadia. Misery guts comes in and is mesmerized by the snowflakes. Maddie loves it. Mark acting stupid again. Nadia asks Mark if he is coming round. "Look, I'm willing to make some compromises. I accept that some of it looks good, not all of it, not all of it. Some of it, some of it looks good." He says there has to be some compromise yada, yada, yada, Dina says we are inside the village, we are living the village. Plus, it is a hell of a lot easier to dismantle. He wants to snow village on the other side in the living room. Dina says he is going to have to do it. She also tells him to change with the times. He goes upstairs to bother Nanny Di.
Mark has Nanny Di's elf hat with a little something for her. Probably biscuits or chocolate. Mark settles in to have a chat with Di over the change in Xmas decor. She isn't a fan of snow villages, but doesn't like the chalet either. Now, I know there are some of you who think the chalet is crap, fine we all have our own tastes. I say that it is an improvement from the blank walls with the random art and pics all over. I'm surprised they don't have one of those Live, Laugh, Love signs. Nanny Di says the subs will be on his side. Is he bribing you with biscuits and mineral water Di? Mark's narrative is that Dina has taken Nadia hostage. Nanny "Hoarding is My Jam" Di has the gall to say the chalet is not aesthetically pleasing. Mark compares it to "Are You Being Served" when it clearly incorrect. Mark tells Di his plans for the snow village, that he is getting into the loft come tomorrow. Di has a reservation that you have to take people round to see it, whereas people walk through the chalet. Mark uses a squash analogy and says that Dina is occupying the T. Di asks why Dina isn't doing this in her house? Mark says she has, "2 chalets for the price of one." "She has? Oh tit" says Di. Mark mentions the concrete in the garden. Di says it is one of those things that was going to happen and never happens. Mark said he felt that way about the chalet, but it has happened. "Mum that was called a pep talk. Remember it, because I know you struggle to remember these pep talks...enjoy your mince pie."
Footage of Di taking off her Xmas jumper. Mark mentions going up to the loft and Nadia says not until the chest of drawers and the bed are done. Mark says he did the bedside table and Dina agrees with Mark. He's off to do the bed frame. Sizing up what they have to finish, the sisters are in the hall chatting. Back to Mark and he says "Every year" he has to build a bed. He has finishe part of it. He goes to the spare room where the chest of drawers are and there are heaps of clothes and other stuff sitting there. "This all has to move guys." The sisters have a debate over the wall under the stairs. Dina says it isn't on theme. Nadia calls it hurdy gurdy, which has nothing to do with Austria, Switzerland or any Nordic country. I mean, it's an instrument for crissakes. Nadia says it is chalet-like. Dina says for Nadia's 60th, she will take her to chalet. Dina hates the door. Nadia mentions painting it or papering. She says paper will block the window out where the people on the bus can look it. She points the camera out the top of the door and sure enough, there is a bus there with people looking over. Dina says in Heidi's hutte, she would have a big gingam curtain. "We're back to needing a pole." All this time, Mark has been spying on them. Just when @missmickey thought Mark was done with scaring the bejeezus out of women, he goes and freaks Nadia out. "I. HATE. YOU!" Dina give Mark a one finger salute. 
Nadia declares she has just wet herself and Mark and his stupid laugh goes on and on. "I hate him so bleeping much, I'm just going to do something really, really, painful. What? Ignore him? Dina tells her to shove a Mr. Kiplling's up his bum! She says she's not going to waste a Mr. Kipling on him. I think I heard a slap as he continues to laugh. Dina says she is coming. Nadia says "Take his hat, he loves his hat. Take it, take it, take it, take the hat, put it down the toilet!" 
Dina didn't run and Mark caught up with her, much to Nadia's disappointment. "You should have got your scissors and you should have cut it!" Both of them telling him to hide, hide little man. One of them screams oww and that is the end of that.
Down the stairs in his reindeer hat, Mark asks Nadia about the box with the long struts for the bed. "Why are you asking me?" Mark finds it in the laundry, but Nadia takes this as an opportunity to tear strips off of him. It's so exciting watching someone build a bedframe I tell you. In the middle of this construction, he does his stupid dad dancing routine. He is now drinking some healthy ginger concoction and being stupid. "Daaadddy, whyyy did yoouu leeeeavve meeeee?" Stupid sound effects. Ha, ha, he has screwed up doing the bed and has to reconstruct it. If he spent more time paying attention than acting like a fool, he wouldn't have this problem. More stupid acting for the camera that isn't remotely funny. Nadia is now in the room, propped up against the mattress and they have a wonky screw. The same issue they had with Kiki's bed. If you haven't had enough of Mark's pasty arse, Nadia has an arse crack cam on Mark. 
He took the screws out and now he is missing one. Mr. Almost Ph.D doesn't have a container or a strip of tape to put them on. Nadia screams how she is going to get a man in from now on, this happens all the time. Mark tells her to shut-up. Nadia is laughing now. "How many hours has it taken you to make this bleeping bed? You're rubbish." He is putting the wood slats on now. He's made the bed as well. You will be happy to know that Maddie's bedroom has had a nice coat of pain on it, no teen scribblings all over it. Once again with the moo juice and Mark.
SO... DOES THIS MEAN THE LOFT...CAN NOW OPEN?! A replay of Mark scaring Nadia and Dina. REVENGE IS SWEET WHEN SERVED OUT OF A LOFT. Gingerbread men. The end. @LizSmithqwerty I'll see if I can do a rundown of that CM for you. Laters!
Nadia starts off the vlog in a dark foyer. Dina is sorting out the curtains. They have their winter scen window that needs afixing to the wall. One minute into this vlog is an ad break.
Nadia is trying to take a pic of Dina putting up the winter scene. "Why can't I turn this round?" Dina says "It's because you're an idiot." Mark's hyena laugh pierces my ear. Nadia has Betty on the phone. Betty asks if they been on the champagne. "No we bloody haven't!" Nadia asks Dina how to turn the screen round. "FLICK IT!' Nadia shows Betty the downstairs and she says "Wow! Oh my God, you did it! What's that on the wall?" Dina says wallpaper. Betty says that they have beaten Mark into a pulp. I wish. Mark yells NO! Betty asks about the village. Dina says it is gone and Nadia says no more village. Nadia shows Betty and Big Ted the other chalet paraphenalia. Mark wanders off to tell us that the snow village is not dead and that it will be displayed on the piano, all over the side of the living room. Good God man, give it up! He says everyone is #Mark and that he knows where the fun is buttered on. Dina is starting to paper the window and pictures in the hall landing. Mark screams that Toffee is the only one who is going to see that. Mark whispers to the camera "They are really bleeping me off now." Good! He sits and seethes. Dina has one sheet up already. She then moves Toffee's bed off the landing and Mark gets all shrill "You're moving Toffee's bed!" Dina just laughs. "You're letting her run riot!" His shrill squeeky voice is hurting my eardrums. "I'll tell you what Mark, you better not tear any of this when you bring the trees down." Dina says their walls are too wonky. Dina starts playing the cow bells. Mark actually likes that. "It make me think of little lost cows." Mark asks if she is going to put up a Nordic flag. Switzerland and Austria aren't Nordic countries you nimrod! Dina is screwing in something under the stairs. "Get out of my zone." Mark says " I know what that sound means. Structural damage. Structural damage for temporary bleeping fun." Dina laughs her laugh. Nadia says they might keep that up. "No you're not." Mark says he has to see it every 6 mins he needs the toilet. He might want to see a urologist for that issue. He claims last night when he came downstairs, he thought he was in "The Guns of Navarone." I doubt there was a chalet in that movie. "I thought Peter Cushing was going to come out of the toilet."
"Interestingly, the girls love it." Mark says they are just saying that to humour them. "They're tit scared of their Auntie Dina." Dina hangs the mini stockings under the stairs and Nadia says don't put it up where we knock our heads on it. Dina tells her to shut-up.
Nadia sits on the bench where they are going to talk about food and gluehwein. Mr. Almost Ph.D doesn't know what gluehwein is. Mark witches about losing wifi, they have hidden it under a gingam able with a milk pail over it. Dina's got the cable ties as they discuss the skis. Knock at the door and Mark hopes it's the police to take them away. Dina opens the door and it's a delivery. Mark farts. Dina seaches for her knife as "If the knife is gone, the game is over." Dina goes to sort out the logs. TIME FOR DINA TO GO!!! Dancing faerie time. They've got snowflake lights going on the ceiling now. "The subs are going to love this" says Nadia. Misery guts comes in and is mesmerized by the snowflakes. Maddie loves it. Mark acting stupid again. Nadia asks Mark if he is coming round. "Look, I'm willing to make some compromises. I accept that some of it looks good, not all of it, not all of it. Some of it, some of it looks good." He says there has to be some compromise yada, yada, yada, Dina says we are inside the village, we are living the village. Plus, it is a hell of a lot easier to dismantle. He wants to snow village on the other side in the living room. Dina says he is going to have to do it. She also tells him to change with the times. He goes upstairs to bother Nanny Di.
Mark has Nanny Di's elf hat with a little something for her. Probably biscuits or chocolate. Mark settles in to have a chat with Di over the change in Xmas decor. She isn't a fan of snow villages, but doesn't like the chalet either. Now, I know there are some of you who think the chalet is crap, fine we all have our own tastes. I say that it is an improvement from the blank walls with the random art and pics all over. I'm surprised they don't have one of those Live, Laugh, Love signs. Nanny Di says the subs will be on his side. Is he bribing you with biscuits and mineral water Di? Mark's narrative is that Dina has taken Nadia hostage. Nanny "Hoarding is My Jam" Di has the gall to say the chalet is not aesthetically pleasing. Mark compares it to "Are You Being Served" when it clearly incorrect. Mark tells Di his plans for the snow village, that he is getting into the loft come tomorrow. Di has a reservation that you have to take people round to see it, whereas people walk through the chalet. Mark uses a squash analogy and says that Dina is occupying the T. Di asks why Dina isn't doing this in her house? Mark says she has, "2 chalets for the price of one." "She has? Oh tit" says Di. Mark mentions the concrete in the garden. Di says it is one of those things that was going to happen and never happens. Mark said he felt that way about the chalet, but it has happened. "Mum that was called a pep talk. Remember it, because I know you struggle to remember these pep talks...enjoy your mince pie."
Footage of Di taking off her Xmas jumper. Mark mentions going up to the loft and Nadia says not until the chest of drawers and the bed are done. Mark says he did the bedside table and Dina agrees with Mark.
He's off to do the bed frame. Sizing up what they have to finish, the sisters are in the hall chatting. Back to Mark and he says "Every year" he has to build a bed. He has finishe part of it. He goes to the spare room where the chest of drawers are and there are heaps of clothes and other stuff sitting there. "This all has to move guys." The sisters have a debate over the wall under the stairs. Dina says it isn't on theme. Nadia calls it hurdy gurdy, which has nothing to do with Austria, Switzerland or any Nordic country. I mean, it's an instrument for crissakes. Nadia says it is chalet-like. Dina says for Nadia's 60th, she will take her to chalet. Dina hates the door. Nadia mentions painting it or papering. She says paper will block the window out where the people on the bus can look it. She points the camera out the top of the door and sure enough, there is a bus there with people looking over. Dina says in Heidi's hutte, she would have a big gingam curtain. "We're back to needing a pole." All this time, Mark has been spying on them. Just when @missmickey thought Mark was done with scaring the bejeezus out of women, he goes and freaks Nadia out. "I. HATE. YOU!" Dina give Mark a one finger salute. Nadia declares she has just wet herself and Mark and his stupid laugh goes on and on. "I hate him so bleeping much, I'm just going to do something really, really, painful. What? Ignore him? Dina tells her to shove a Mr. Kiplling's up his bum! She says she's not going to waste a Mr. Kipling on him. I think I heard a slap as he continues to laugh. Dina says she is coming. Nadia says "Take his hat, he loves his hat. Take it, take it, take it, take the hat, put it down the toilet!" Dina didn't run and Mark caught up with her, much to Nadia's disappointment. "You should have got your scissors and you should have cut it!" Both of them telling him to hide, hide little man. One of them screams oww and that is the end of that.Down the stairs in his reindeer hat, Mark asks Nadia about the box with the long struts for the bed. "Why are you asking me?" Mark finds it in the laundry, but Nadia takes this as an opportunity to tear strips off of him. It's so exciting watching someone build a bedframe I tell you. In the middle of this construction, he does his stupid dad dancing routine. He is now drinking some healthy ginger concoction and being stupid. "Daaadddy, whyyy did yoouu leeeeavve meeeee?" Stupid sound effects. Ha, ha, he has screwed up doing the bed and has to reconstruct it.
If he spent more time paying attention than acting like a fool, he wouldn't have this problem. More stupid acting for the camera that isn't remotely funny. Nadia is now in the room, propped up against the mattress and they have a wonky screw. The same issue they had with Kiki's bed. If you haven't had enough of Mark's pasty arse, Nadia has an arse crack cam on Mark. He took the screws out and now he is missing one. Mr. Almost Ph.D doesn't have a container or a strip of tape to put them on. Nadia screams how she is going to get a man in from now on, this happens all the time. Mark tells her to shut-up. Nadia is laughing now. "How many hours has it taken you to make this bleeping bed? You're rubbish." He is putting the wood slats on now. He's made the bed as well. You will be happy to know that Maddie's bedroom has had a nice coat of pain on it, no teen scribblings all over it. Once again with the moo juice and Mark. SO... DOES THIS MEAN THE LOFT...CAN NOW OPEN?! A replay of Mark scaring Nadia and Dina. REVENGE IS SWEET WHEN SERVED OUT OF A LOFT. Gingerbread men. The end. @LizSmithqwerty I'll see if I can do a rundown of that CM for you. Laters!
Why are they wearing masks I wonder? Maybe they’ve had Covid and that’s what’s ailing the lazy one?
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